All It Takes Is A Little Love

I attended a private Catholic high school in the mid to late nineteen sixties. Back then our Catholic parents believed it was their duty to send us to a religious school and so I spent my high school years at Mt. Carmel High School run by Carmelite priests and School Sisters of Notre Dame. Even though we were in Texas our education greatly resembled what Cathlolic students might have found in the midwest because our priests were mostly from Chicago and our nuns often hailed from St. Louis. 

Ours was a rather small and personal school with about one hundred twenty five students in each class. Back then we were grouped according to an admissions exam and our grades and recommendations from middle school. I ended up in the Honors classes but the principal warned me before my first school year started that my test scores indicated that I would probably have trouble with the coursework in that group. He said that I was on probation based on recommendations from my former teachers. Needless to say his announcement made me anxious from the start and determined to prove him wrong. 

I worked hard and spent the next four years with essentially the same small group of students give or take a few changes here and there. Ours was a very traditional and somewhat classical curriculum with Latin, German, History, English, Civics, Physical Science, Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Religion, Speech, Debate, Algebra I and II, Geometry, and what would now be called Pre-Calculus, I saw the other students who were not in this group in the hallways, at lunch, at pep rallies, during Religion classes and in clubs. Otherwise we had very little time together. 

I am proud of the education that I received at Mt. Carmel. It was mostly wonderful but I would have enjoyed having a bit more interaction with the rest of the student body. Many of the girls were members of the drill team and forged great friendships there. I took a slightly different route and tended to encounter many of the same people over and over again. Because I was incredibly shy at the time. I never ventured too far away from the same girls with whom I ate lunch for those four years. Still I always felt that everyone in my class was a good person and most of them were always kind to me. 

I left Mt. Carmel High School in 1966, and began my journey into becoming an adult. As with most people my road was not always straight and narrow. There were twists and turns and challenges in the ensuing years. I kept in touch with some of the people I had known from school while others drifted away. Time passed while we all made life choices and gained confidence in ourselves. 

I stayed in Houston to take care of my mom whose bipolar disorder asserted itself not long after I had graduated from high school. I met a young man who had attended an all boys’ school across town and we were soon falling in love and planning a future together. That future led me in many directions but never too far away from home. Now and again I would encounter some of the students with whom I had gone to high school and some of them literally walked hand in hand with me as we began families, purchased homes and enjoyed moments together. 

Recently our Class of 66 celebrated a 60 year reunion. By then we were all in our late seventies and experiencing the signs of aging. Some of our classmates were already gone from this earth. Nonetheless around thirty something of us drove out to the Monument Inn on a Saturday evening to enjoy a hearty seafood dinner and a celebration of our lives.

Without name tags we may not have recognized each other but with those references we began to see the smiles and the wit that we had known back in the days of our youth. Everyone was so excited to be there and to see each other and tell the stories of where they had been and the adventures they had enjoyed. What we all seemed to have in common was a genuine appreciation for each other and for the education and fun times that we had experienced back in the day. It was a kind of love fest that reminded me of what truly good people with whom I had spent my teen years actaully are. It was incredibly nice to learn about the joys of their lives and tough to hear about losses they may have endured. it was magical to feel so relaxed around people who were simply enjoying each other and celebrating the bygone years. 

I don’t know if we will have another reunion in ten years or even five. We may have reached a point at which we need to get together for an hour or two several times during the year just to stay in touch. People as good as my classmates are a treasure that I hope I will be able to keep close. The Mt. Carmel Class of 66 played a huge role in forming the person that I now am. I will cherish them all forever.

I have been in love with New Orleans since I was nineteen years old. That is when I traveled there on my honeymoon during the peak of the Vietnam War. The world was so uncertain then that marrying early seemed like a reasonable thing to do. Many of my friends were already hitched or planning a wedding for the coming weeks. When I look back on that time I am flabbergasted that my husband and I have made it through fifty eight years and counting. 

Mike had gone to college at Loyola University in New Orleans and found that it was not a good fit for him. After a couple of years he returned to Houston and enrolled at the University of Houston where his life took a positive turn. We met each other at a birthday party for one of my cousins whose fiancee had invited me because she and I often saw each other at school. She invited Mike because he had been a childhood friend of my cousin. Fate intervened and the rest of the story has played out for almost sixty years. 

Of course Mike wanted to show me New Orleans on our honeymoon. We were both still students and had to plan our celebratory adventure over a weekend so that we would not miss any of our classes. It was also a wise move because we had limited funds for any kind of trip. We flew into New Orleans in what was my first time in an airplane so that alone was exciting. 

Mike had made reservations at Hotel Monteleone in the French Quarter. I remember feeling as though I was in a foreign nation when the taxicab turned onto the narrow streets of our destination. The beautiful old buildings with their wrought iron balconies and colorful stucco and bricks were enchanting and I fell in love with the place in a way that has only grown over the years. 

As fate would have it the hotel was being renovated at the time so we walked on plywood boards in the lobby. Even with all of the construction I saw the beauty of the place and felt the excitement that lay ahead. Everything was luxurious and the people working there overlooked our youthfulness and treated us as though we were celebrities. 

We toured the area and the museums and even went to mass in St. Louis Cathedral. We rode the streetcar down Canal Street to walk around the Loyola campus and saunter through Audubon Park. We munched on beignet at Cafe du Monde and sipped steaming cups of coffee. We ate muffuletta’s at Central Grocery and enjoyed the pralines at Aunt Sally’s. We walked along the Mississippi River and took dozens of photos in Jackson Square. We had the best dinner that I had ever experienced at Broussard’s and sat on the patio at Pat O’Brien’s. Since I had no experience whatsoever with alcohol I settled for a breeze rather than a hurricane and laughed at the idea that I was legal in New Orleans but not back home. We walked up and down  Bourbon Street and I gawked at everything like someone who had been living on a farm for all of my life. I even got asked for my driver’s license when we attempted to go into a jazz club but I did not have a license to show them because I had not yet learned how to drive. The insurance for such a thing would have cost more than my mother had to pay. 

We flew back home after a few days like two innocents who had no idea what challenges lay before us. We were happy and convinced that together we were going to build a great life. As fate would have it we were challenged over and over again with difficulties that might have made all of our plans and dreams fall apart. Somehow we always found the ways to get beyond the major illnesses and difficulties that came again and again. In the process we had two lovely daughters and both of us earned our college degrees. We built incredible friendships, purchased a home, succeeded in our careers and travelled back to New Orleans time and again. Sometimes with our children, later with our grandchildren, always sharing our love for the city with them.

This year was our fifty eighth year together as husband and wife. We went back to the Hotel Monteleone and to the wonders of New Orleans that we had always loved. We thought of how we had grieved after hurricane Katerina when it was uncertain that the city would be able to rise again. We embarked on a food fest that included yet another visit to Broussard’s where we were feted with champagne and a scrumptious dinner. We rode on the streetcar again and walked around a Loyola campus that had grown. We went to Arnaud’s and finally to Commander’s Palace enjoying incredible cuisine and New Orleans hospitality. We found a history center on Royal St. that was enchanting and sheltered us from the heat and humidity. Of course we visited St. Louis Cathedral and the Faulkner bookstore where I always purchase a tome or two. We bought dozens of pralines at Aunt Sally’s to take to our daughters and grandchildren and sat at Cafe du Monde thinking back on all of the times that we had returned . On our last morning we had breakfast at Brennan’s and then walked down to Central Grocery and purchased muffuletta’s for the road. 

For some people Disney World is the way to escape from the realities of the world. For me and Mike it is New Orleans and always will be. We feel the magic there. It has become part of our history together and always makes us smile. 

I have never been a one vote kind of person. Nor do I always align with one party. I suppose in that regard I have been an independent by definition. I tend to examine each candidate in a particular race and vote for the person who’s view most closely aligns with mine as well as considering which candidate seems most qualified for the job. The reason that I have consistently voted against Donald Trump is simply because I do not believe that he is qualified in any possible way to serve as president of our nation. In my mind he is at heart simply a good salesmen with enough lines to convince many people to buy the malarky that he is peddling. He is nothing more than an empty suit intent on selling me a product and that is not the kind of person who should be sitting in the Oval Office making life changing decisions that not only affect the United States but all of the world. 

I bring this up because I am still receiving messages from people that I have known and loved for decades who attempt to change my mind about Trump. Somehow in spite of overwhelming evidence these souls still believe that Trump is a great leader whom I simply do not understand. The truth is that I have worked with people my entire life and in the process I have learned how to assess individuals and understand what makes them tick. It is how I have been able to help struggling students and work with colleagues in a spirit of congeniality. I use the same abilities to assess politicians and determine which ones I am willing to entrust with the powers of their offices. In that regard I have always been wary of Trump.

Form the time that Trump came down that golden escalator my radar went off and told me to be wary. He is the kind of man that my single parent mother warned me to avoid. I learned how to be streetwise from her and as such I always understood when I was in a dangerous situation. Trump sets off those vibes in me every single time he opens his mouth to insult women. There is a “creep” factor in the words that he uses and the way he lives his life. He is the poster boy for the kind of man who never learned how to respect and treat women with dignity. 

I do not hate Donald Trump as many people have accused me of doing. Instead I feel sorry for him which probably would bother him more than if I simply disliked him. He is a broken insecure soul who was probably damaged during his childhood and taught to be selfish and brutal by examples that he witnessed. Maybe he even has a touch of mental illness that hides behind his brash behavior that some see as confidence. He does not fool me and he never will. A confident and intelligent person does not require constant adoration nor does a healthy person lie and boast with every word. 

I would have been willing to eat my words and change my mind if Trump had ever demonstrated a command of economics or an understanding of democracy. Instead he roars and bumbles his way through each day in office with insults and ridiculous plans that are bankrupting our nation and tarnishing our reputation in the free world. Not once has he shown a sense of compassion nor has he ever attempted to understand differing points of few. He behaves like a spoiled little boy who demands to have his way. He would rather have people bowing and scraping and demeaning themselves than experts to help him guide the United States to greatness. 

Because of my beliefs about Donald Trump I have confused some of the people that I have known and loved for most of my life. They have asked me why I am hateful or reminded me of the religious beliefs that we were taught in Catholic school. They sometimes let me off of the hook by assuming that I am simply gullible or naive. They still love me but seem to desperately want me to adopt their views of Trump, something that will never happen because Trump will never change. 

I grieve for my beloved United States. I am not a  radical nor have I abandoned my moral code. In fact my beliefs are more intact than ever. I have deeply studied the history of our nation and the changes in our laws that were designed to help the many rather than only the few. I love the diversity that has replaced the old WASPish views that only white men were worthy of holding power. The United States is better when people of every point of view and color and level of education and sex and religious beliefs are brought together under one roof. We soar when we show kindness and understanding rather than gripping a narrow view of how the world should be and who should enjoy its benefits. Under Trump too many people have been sidelined and abused. 

I have heroes who’ve been Republicans. I thought that John McCain was an American hero who would have been a good president. I learn much from Steve Schmidt, Adam Kinzinger,  Joe Walsh and many others who once represented the Republican party. I find great potential for our nation in young people with promising ideas like Zoran Mamdani and James Talarico. I believe that we will overcome our problems as a nation once Trump is no longer in power. He has done great damage but we know how to set things right. We always do!

We live in a modern world that has clear directives for how structures must be built. Architects, engineers and those who erect homes and skyscrapers have to adhere to safety measures with everything they erect. While such regulations can be annoying or even daunting they are designed to insure that homes and buildings will be as safe as possible for the people who live and work inside them. 

Donald Trump took the reins of his father’s real estate business as a young man and over time expanded the reach of the family business. His efforts were not always as successful as he had hoped. There were projects that he skimped on by using low end paint and then holding the painters responsible for results that did not satisfy him. He created a for profit college that left students in debt and without bankable skills. He even managed to run a casino into bankruptcy. 

Now Trump is redesigning the White House and its grounds along with attempting to erect monuments and update the reflection pond that sits between the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial. He has even taken over the Kennedy Center and claims that it is so rundown that it might need to be demolished. 

What we have witnessed is the same kind of bumbling that marked many of his business ventures and led to multiple bankruptcies during his lifetime. He exudes great confidence in himself as though he is a master planner who knows how to get things designed and built properly without the interference of experts or even legal codes. 

His brashness has resulted in one disaster after another. He pushed an inexperienced company to redo the reflecting pool as though it was a swimming pool and it took little time before the new liner was peeling from the bottom and floating on the surface. The Oval Office is filled with so much gilt that it looks more like someone’s idea of a cheap version bordello than the working office of our chief executive. The once lovely grounds of the White House are torn up and under construction that was never necessary and that Trump undertook without permission as though he owned the White House.

One of the biggest boondoggles has been the destruction of the East Wing of the White House in order to build a huge ballroom that will be totally out of proportion to the rest of the structure. On top of that there is little need for such an edifice. To convince people of its importance Trump now claims that it will insure the security of future presidents. He intends to turn it into a kind of fortress with a bunker and drones and other so-called protective additions.

The latest report is that the people in charge of the construction of the ballroom insist that the design that Trump wants will not align with building codes. They worry that the location of the kitchen has the potential of causing e a catastrophic fire. Trump has brushed off the critiques by announcing, “I am the code!”

If ever there were a single statement that sums up Trump’s  authoritarian manner of ruling our nation it is in those four words. They represent the sum total of what he has been doing in his second administration. He operates as though only he may make decisions because he believes that he knows better than anyone else what to do when it comes to any issue. By surrounding himself with loyal followers he gives himself the audacious green light to do whatever he wishes without any pushback. 

To say that giving one person so much power is dangerous is an understatement but even worse is the fact that so little has been done to stop him from ignoring laws and traditions and even building codes. The balance of powers as described in the Constitution were designed to prevent any of the three parts of government from becoming the only voice. It’s purpose was to insure that nobody had the supreme power to become “the code.”

Most of us can’t even put-up a fence or build something on our property without following the laws that have been created over time to protect our neighbors and the environment. We follow the guidelines because we understand the reasons behind them. What is demanded of us should also be demanded of our president. Congress and the many agencies in Washington D.C. should have a voice in what happens to the structures that might be torn down or built. Never should it be the serendipity of a single person, even if the person is the president of the United States. 

Donald Trump is not the code. The Constitution and the laws are the code and we the people should be unafraid to demand that he adhere to those rules just as we all must do.  

Surely we recall that a few years back a reporter from the Wall Street Journal ended up in jail in Russia simply for attempting to relay the truth about what was happening in the Kremlin. He was accused of being a spy and sent away for months even as efforts were launched to have him released. Meanwhile back in history the editor of a newspaper in China who had the audacity to report the truth about what Mao ZeDong was doing during the finalization of the revolution there in 1949 was imprisoned and his family’s home was seized. He would live the rest of his life in a state of imprisonment and poverty just for attempting to print the truth.

This is how authoritarian nations keep strict control over what the citizenry is allowed to hear or say. They create the news often without any resemblance to the truth. Our Founding Fathers sought to prevent such a thing with the establishment of a free press in the First Amendment of the Constitution. Their intent was that citizens would be allowed to ask questions and express concerns without fears of being silenced. For the most part we have enjoyed this incredible assurance for two hundred fifty years.

We have all listened to Donald Trump’s threats and fantasies about how great his second term is going. We have watched him insulting and lunging at reporters who had the audacity to question what he is doing. He has sued media outlets and personalities for making statements that were not to his liking. Now he has banned three networks from the Oval office because he did not like the way that they were reporting the news. CNN, MSNow and Politico were somewhat randomly removed from the his press conferences because he insists that they are peddling fake news. In making his bold announcement he has assured reporters that the expulsion of these three media giants are only the beginning of his intent to rid himself of reporters that he does not like. 

This flies in the face of the First Amendment and in truth does not qualify as fake news. He is the one making things up. He is telling lies hoping that his supporters will not realize the mess that he is making from his tantrums in the Oval office. He is totally out of control and seems to want only whatever he wants us to know to be reported as though it is the truth and nothing but the truth. He wants no questions, no doubts, no challenges to his iron fisted way of doing whatever he wants to do without Congress or attempts to follow the laws of the land. 

This is a movement right out of every authoritarian playbook. Lie, lie and lie and convince the populace that all is well. He wants nobody to notice that his words have no clothes. He wants to define what we believe and woe be anyone who flinches and suggests that he is wrong. We are a nation created with the idea that the country belongs to the people and as such we each have the right to point out problems that we see. We were not founded on the idea that a single person or party should be able to define the truth without commentary or criticism. 

Every president and representative that we have ever had endured pushback. There has been and will always be criticism and disagreements among the electorate. This is exactly as it should be. When we lose the right to hear rebuttals and to pay attention to them we bow to an authoritarian kind of government. Brutal nations like China, North Korea, and Russia have a national press that communicates only what the leaders want the citizens to know. Speaking out against the government line is a crime with dire consequences. 

In the United States of America we have always depended on the idea that it would be safe to voice our own opinions, to debate even those in the highest offices in the land. We can protest and write blogs stating our personal opinions without fear of being silenced or imprisoned. We rely on a press that is not afraid to tell us what they believe to be true. We can challenge the thinking of our leaders and ask them why they are doing certain things. We have taken for granted that nobody will demand that we walk in lockstep. 

Not even those who founded this nation agreed with one another. John Adams and Thomas Jefferson had fiery discussions that demonstrated their differences. For a time they did not even speak with one another but over time they came to honor one another without insisting that either of them change their ways of thinking about how our government should be. They both understood the importance of allowing each citizen the right to have different beliefs.

Little by little far too many people rely on a single media outlet that provides a single point of view all day long. They refuse to even consider ideas that are contrary to their own. We need all of the voices and we should also be willing to hear what they have to say. We should be confident that we can disagree with impunity and that we can seek the truth with hard questions. Our freedom of speech and the press is perhaps the most important rite that we have as citizens and it is up to all of us to protect it no matter who may be threatening it.

Thankfully it appears that other news outlets will no longer participate in the president’s press conferences. This is the kind of bold and rightful step that we have needed to see. I applaud them for doing the right thing. Nonetheless, Trump continues to fight back and things will not be rightly settled until he is forced to comply with our most important freedom. Whether he likes what they say or not, every American has to right to challenge his thinking and beliefs.