Month: September 2022

I chose my home because of the kitchen. It is bright and airy with windows overlooking my backyard garden. I have appliances that my grandmother never imagined and tools that make cooking a breeze, but if I had to name the one thing in my kitchen that I appreciate the most it would be the clean water that runs readily from my faucet. It’s something that we tend to take for granted until we no longer have it. Of late I often find myself staring at it in wonder and feeling so grateful that I live in a place where it is so readily available. 

Water really is life in some parts of the world and even our own country it is becoming a valuable commodity indeed. I’ve watched all summer while places in the southwest have become parched, revealing dry beds where rivers once flowed. Here in Texas two areas have been particularly stressed by drought with wells running dry and rivers that usually provide tubing fun for tourists looking like dusty trails. It has made me wonder when and even if such places will find relief. 

Then there is the situation in Jackson Mississippi where citizens have been without safe water for drinking or bathing or even flushing toilets for weeks because flooding caused the old infrastructures to collapse. I can’t imagine having to endure such conditions, but it seems that we never really know when we will face a situation that threatens the availability of water in our homes. 

This summer I took a carload of water to my daughter who lives in the Texas hill country because she was having difficulty finding it in stores and she was worried that the wells that provide water for her neighborhood might become dry. As it happened there was rain upon my arrival and stores also received new deliveries of bottled water, so she is fine for now, but still under restrictions that do not allow her to water outside more than once every two weeks for less than one hour. There are strict fines for those who ignore the directive. 

I’ve been through a few hurricanes here in the Houston area and one of the first rules of preparation is to set aside water in case the system stops working due to damage of the systems from flooding like in Mississippi. I learned to fill my bathtubs and all of my pots and pans with water before leaving for safer, higher ground when a storm is threatening. When I return I always bring bottled water and cleaning supplies with me that I purchased just in case there is a run on them in the stores. I try to be prepared for any eventuality and I always breathe a sigh of relief when the only damage is the loss of a few shingles on my roof. 

We humans are overbuilding in places that have very limited sources of water or where there is likely to be flooding during a heavy rain. We seem to be ignoring the importance of water, but our ancestors never did. They knew not to build near bayous or on river bottoms. They allowed rivers like the Mississippi to flow the way nature intended rather than attempting to arrogantly engineering changes that created problems for people whose homes were once safe. We build without considering whether or not aquifers will be able to quench expanding populations. We waste precious water on the greening of lawns rather than creating gardens of rock. We act as though our supply of water is limitless until it is not. 

So when I see that lovely water running into my glass from my faucet I smile and say a little prayer of gratitude. There is nothing else in my kitchen that is more wonderful or valuable as that miraculous chemical reaction that connects two hydrogen atoms to one of oxygen. It’s all rather amazing when we really stop to think about it. Then there are the pipes that bring it to our homes after it has been treated in plants that make it pure enough to drink. 

I remember my father talking excitedly about an engineering project that he was working on way back in the early nineteen fifties. it was an attempt to make potable water out of salt water from the sea. He got a glimmer in his eyes at the very thought of being able to do something that might change the fate of the world. Desalination on a grand scale was still a dream in the United States when my father died in 1957, but now it is being used more and more around the world to create fresh water. The Saudi Arabians first perfected the technique in 1938. In the 1960s it became more and more common when John F. Kennedy encouraged the perfection of desalination projects to increase the amount of clean water in our country.

Today only one percent of usable water comes from desalination and most of that is still in the Middle East. As droughts due to climate change endanger our water sources perhaps this process will become more popular even though it is an expensive process that requires a great deal of energy. We certainly need to acknowledge that clean drinking water is a requirement for life, not a luxury and make changes to the way we live to ensure that it will be around when we need it. 

I enjoy my ice maker, my microwave, my stove, my refrigerator and all of the tools for my cooking, but it is beautiful clean water that I most love. I’ve learned that it is not something that any of us should take for granted. Our world is growing and we all need places to live and water to drink to take care of our needs. Water should be one of our top priorities. We should not wait until a disaster to acknowledge how much we depend on it. It is truly a source of life that each of us must have.

I have a brother who wrote the program for the navigational system of the International Space Station. To say that it was quite an accomplishment is an understatement. Needless to say, I puff out with pride when I think of his incredible contribution to the world. I also have an uncle who is now retired, but was once one of the premier cardiologists in the world. Kings and presidents came from around the globe for his expertise. My daughters often comment that it was somewhat difficult to grow up in a family where so many people were so bright and accomplished. On the other hand they felt honored to be in the presence of greatness. 

I used to tell my children that some lives that may seem small at first glance are in reality incredibly important in the grand scheme of things. My brother grew up under the guidance of a child of immigrants who spent most of her life in a state of hardship. In spite of the difficulties that plagued her, she had the ability to see the potential of her son and to inspire him to literally reach for the stars. Her contribution to our world was in many ways as remarkable as his.

I have always enjoyed reading biographies and autobiographies. I suppose that I am intrigued by the backgrounds of famous people and whose influences loomed large in their lives. A common theme that leads to greatness is having a parent or grandparent who nurtures the curiosity and intellect of a child to the point of inspiring them to live extraordinary lives. 

One of my favorite books was about the physicist, Richard Feynman. Dr. Feynman described how his father explained to him how things work from the time that he was a small child. Feynman remembered his father placing a ball inside a wagon and then jerking the wagon forward quickly. The father asked his son what he had seen happen which of course was that as the wagon lurched forward the ball moved backward. This demonstrated one of the elemental laws of physics and inspired the young Richard to spend his lifetime studying and teaching physics. 

You may remember Dr. Feynman as the man who demonstrated what happened to the Challenger rocket that blew up killing all of the astronauts inside. On a panel taxed with determining what had happened, Dr. Feynman took an O ring similar to the ones used on the rocket and quietly placed it in a glass of ice water. As he swirled it around the ring became distorted, losing the shape that would have sealed the fuel had everything gone well. In other words the cold of launch day had created a doomsday scenario only because of a tiny ring had lost its shape and no longer worked as it was supposed to do. 

The influence of parents, family members, teachers and even neighbors looms large in the life of a child. If the people around that tiny human nurture the talents and instill confidence greatness often results. We saw it with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. whose grandmother often predicted that he was destined to do something big. When Martin did not die after falling from a second story window as a boy, his grandmother proclaimed that God had an important job for him to do. Amazingly, it seems that she was right. 

When we interact with the young people around us we never quite know what our impact will be. Hopefully we will not harm them in such a way that they become damaged. In truth, most of the violence and sorrow that we see in the world comes from individuals who personalities have been somehow warped, either by genetic disorders or interactions with people who did not treat them properly. Just as my brother, Dr. Feynman and Dr. King became great men through the interactions with members of their families, some sad souls only see neglect and abuse as children. Their lives are filled with misery rather than inspiration. Their world view sees only sorrow, not possibilities. Unfortunately, such people all too often treat their own offspring as badly as they were treated and the vicious cycle of neglect continues unabated unless someone intercedes.

Behind every important person there is always someone who guided them to greatness. We don’t often hear about the silent souls who devote time helping a child to fulfill the talents that he or she has. They remain mostly unknown and yet their contribution to society is as great as the person who invents something new or the individual who lead the world to peace. We never know what our personal impact on the world will be, but we can be sure that helping young people to fulfill their destinies is always an admirable task. 

My brother inspired my grandson to follow in his footsteps, but it was my grandson’s mother who spent eighteen years helping him to develop his talents in mathematics and physics. It was my sister-in-law who took the time to explain to him how to adjust a telescope to gaze at the stars who convinced him that there would be many other teachers who would guide his way to a career of navigating those stars. It was his great grandmother who told him that he was brilliant and meant to be a leader in the world. These people gave him the confidence to move forward in pursuit of his goals. In doing so, they have been as great as he most surely will become.

I am a hopeless romantic. I always have been. My favorite movies are epic love stories like Wuthering Heights or Titanic. I truly believe that it is possible to find a soulmate because I have done that. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky to stumble upon my husband on an evening when I actually wanted to be someplace other than where I met him. It was surely a serendipitous encounter that lead me to a lifetime of happiness and fulfillment. 

We did not need a dating service to analyze our likes and dislikes, or our interests and views on life to determine that we were and still are a very good match. It was happenstance and nature that brought us together and an instant kinship that has kept us that way for over fifty years. When all is said and done it was pure luck prompted by the occasion of a cousin’s birthdays that so unexpectedly helped us to find each other. We proved to have an uncanny sense of kinship from the very start. 

That is not to say that we are alike in every way, nor do we agree on everything. He can watch sports programs all day long, while I lose interest in under fifteen minutes. While we enjoy watching television programs together, we still have personal preferences in viewing that do not overlap. I find myself catching up on episodes of shows that he would never watch. The same is true of all kinds of things. It’s not so much in how we are alike that our romance blooms, but in how we treat people, especially each other. 

I am admittedly an exceedingly independent woman. I grew up in a home without a man as head of the household. I know how to take care of myself. I am a rather driven individual with goals that I am still in the process of achieving. My husband has been exceedingly supportive of my aims regardless of the cost or amount of time I have needed to fulfill them. He also encourages me to express myself honestly. He does not mind when we differ in beliefs. We’ve had some lively discussions about politics and life in general. His total respect for me has been empowering and the greatest sign of his love. 

I think I would have suffocated in a relationship that required me to always be in tandem with my husband. Instead I have always felt free to be me. I know that I will love him and he will love me without one or the other of us being forced into a more subservient role. I would have run from such a relationship before even walking down the aisle. 

My husband was very good to my mother even when she railed at him while in the throes of a manic episode. He welcomed her into our home with love. Now it is my turn to return his kindness by embracing his father as a member of our household. It has taught me how difficult it might have sometimes been for him to share our home with my mama for almost two years. Having one of our parents with us puts a strain on our privacy and limits our time alone. My husband handled such a situation with so much remarkable kindness and understanding that I am still in awe of how wonderful and patient as he was. 

My father-in-law is a very sweet man. He is the consummate old fashioned gentleman. He was taught to care for women, to hold open doors, to have serious conversations with other men in another room so as not to worry the females. For many he would represent the best of a romantic man, but while I greatly admire his loving ways, I prefer to be more of an equal in my relationship with my husband. I realize how incredibly lucky I have been to be wedded to a man who is quite modern in his thinking about the roles of the different sexes. It makes me treasure my husband more than I ever have, because I have witnessed the difference between how men of the past valued women and how the more modern men like my husband demonstrate the same kind of devotion. 

I have come to realize that for me true romance has been my husband supporting me in every possible way as I furthered my education and pursued my career. He has honored me by listening to my philosophies and encouraging me to live according to what works best for me. Together we raised two girls to become strong women who are unafraid to speak their minds. We are truly equal partners in life.

I spent much time with my husband’s mother before she died. We often sat together talking about being women. She was a brilliant soul who at one time had hoped to be a translator in a diplomatic setting. She saw herself at the United Nations or the Hague. Her life took a different turn and she ended up working as a bookkeeper for a family business and then at a church. She was happy with the way things turned out and was not one to regret, but she liked that women were becoming freer to be career oriented. She told me that she had purposely taught her son to value women just as they are and to support them in becoming whatever they wanted to be. She was proud that he had walked alongside me rather than in front. She loved that he had encouraged me to fulfill my educational and career goals. She liked the mutual respect that we had for each other. She had tutored her son to be the ultimate romantic, a man who has never been threatened by my independence and success. 

I used to read fairytales and I adored them. Now I prefer a story of mutual love that allows each partner to become their best selves. I have enjoyed such a romance, and for that I am eternally grateful. I am thankful every day of my life that I met this man. I am a hopeless romantic of a different kind.

I remember the very first time that I realized that I had a little problem with the way that I comport myself. I was about eight years old and my teacher was determined that each of her students would learn how to sit properly and quietly while she was delivering a lesson. I thought that I was following her instructions rather well when she walked past my desk and slapped my leg and one of my hands without saying a word. That’s when I realized that I had been unconsciously tapping out a silent rhythm with my limbs. I’d receive many of her warnings that school year because somehow moving around seemed to be like breathing to me. It was something that I did without even thinking. 

Mostly people ignored my kinesthetic habits, but now and again someone would point out that it was quite odd that I paced back and forth while I studied for tests and did the same when I had conversations on the phone. The only thing that held me back from moving about the room while conversing on Alexander Graham Bell’s invention was the cord that kept me anchored to the wall. Once phones became cordless I was free to ramble all over the house while I talked with my friends. Indeed, I additionally earned two degree while walking hundreds of miles as a I paced like a caged lion readying myself for exams. 

In some of my classes I had to deliver speeches or lessons in front of a camera. My professors tended to appreciate my enthusiasm and creativity, but every last one of them insisted that my pacing and hand waving was a distraction that I should attempt to eliminate. Somehow I knew that my brain would not allow me to stand perfectly still. Facing my audience with my voice delivering my message rather than my hands was literally painful and made me feel like a wooden statue. I certainly tried my best to be more aware of my movements, but it was exhausting and I eventually just accepted my quirkiness and did my own thing.

Just as my professors had noted, I often encountered students who were flummoxed by my  habits of perpetual motion. One even suggested that I was making him seasick as he attempted to track me as I spoke. Others claimed that my hand waving was so hypnotic that I became like Charlie Brown’s teacher whose voice seemed to be presenting gibberish. 

Teaching mathematics helped me to curb my habit somewhat because most of the time I was using my hands to write down examples in a fixed area. My mind and body were focused on the blackboard, whiteboard, overhead projector or smart board that I used to convey algorithms and formulas. In those moments my need for movement was channeled in an effective way. 

There was a time when I became self-conscious of my seemingly involuntary movements. I worried that I appeared to be some kind of freak, but through my studies of learning theories and the differing ways in which we humans process information I realized that I was simply adapting to the way that my brain works just as each individual does. My own struggles with conforming to stillness made me incredibly accepting of the range of learning styles that humans possess. I was able to follow the wandering scribbles of a dysgraphic student and I knew how to be patient with those who were hyperactive. I even allowed one student to sit in the back of the classroom so that he might quietly stand up and sway back and forth when the act of sitting overwhelmed him. I realized that much of the behavior that we often ascribe to misconduct is little more than the product of a brain that works differently from the majority.

I still have to constantly be on the move. My hands appear to be performing some strange ritual when I talk. I have long suspected that I might have been diagnosed as being mildly dyslexic or perhaps having a bit of attention deficit disorder if those things had been better understood when I was a child. Instead I adapted to the realities of my unique learning needs without even realizing that my movement was in sync with my brain. It would eventually be my mother and some brilliant professors who noted my quirks and diagnosed the reasons why I was so unable to change them. In fact, they congratulated me for finding the methods that I needed in order to learn. 

As a society we have a very bad habit of equating various difficulties with a lack of intelligence. The person who stutters becomes the butt of jokes. The person who can express brilliance in speech but can’t write their ideas down in a coherent manner is deemed to be slow witted. We fail to realize that when we look past the behaviors that disturb us, there is often a brilliant mind just waiting to be recognized. 

My first grade teacher helped me perhaps more than any other person in my life. I realize now that she saw my difficulties and taught me how to overcome them. She understood that I needed a combination of sounds, visual cues and movement to jumpstart my brain. She showed me those things and when I saw that they quelled the confusion in my brain I unconsciously used them for the remainder of my life. 

Even now as I sit typing on my laptop I see that my lips are moving in tandem with my thoughts and the movements of my fingers. All the while my feet are tapping with the rhythm of the keyboard. I am using every possible mode of learning to keep my focus and it works. My brain is operating full tilt, fueled by the methods that work best for me. I am so fortunate to have learned these things and to have encountered amazing people who took the time to understand me. Hopefully I’ve done the same for some of the students I have helped along the way. The brain is quirky, but we are slowly learning how it works and how unique that experience is for each of us.

These days we tend to take the education of our children for granted, but there was a time in the not so long ago when children spent little, if any, time in school. I’ve often spoken of my grandmother, Minnie Bell, being illiterate, but I never knew the exact reasons why that was so other than the fact that she only attended school for a brief period of time. By her recollection she may have gone for about two years before she was called upon to help out at home. 

Even my grandfathers, both of whom were avid readers, claimed to have never extended their formal educations past about the seventh or eighth grade. By then they were adept enough with reading and writing to be able to continue learning on their own, but each of them considered education to be a noble goal. My paternal grandfather was particularly proud that his son was a college graduate and that his grandchildren went on to earn multiple degrees. He often explained that when he was growing up it was difficult to find teachers, particularly in rural areas. Back then communities pooled funds to bring a teacher to the area, often providing room and board but little else. 

The tradition of bringing an apple to the teacher was originally a way of paying an educator for his or her work with children. Often all that the people had to give was a small room in someone’s home and a share of the crops that they grew. Sometimes not even the draw of a place to stay and food to eat was enough incentive to attract a teacher, so youngsters often grew up without perfecting the skills of reading, writing and arithmetic. Only the wealthiest families were able to insure that their sons and daughters received an education. 

The establishment of public school systems supported by funding from taxes has been one of the greatest equalizers in history. Making it mandatory for students to attend school until a certain age freed young people from being commandeered by their families to work in the household or on farms and in factories. A more educated populace enriched the lives of individuals who might otherwise have been like my illiterate grandmother. Suddenly people who might once have been thought to be ignorant were transformed by the gift of knowledge. Likewise societies as a whole benefitted from more universal schooling. 

Over time we have tended to take our schools and our teachers for granted. We certainly pay more than a bushel basket of produce and a room with a bed for the services of our educators, but in general we do not give them the respect and admiration that most of them are due. We gladly pay ridiculously high prices to attend a ballgame, but complain about the cost of finding and keeping good teachers. We become armchair quarterbacks when it comes to judging teacher performance based more on emotions than actual knowledge of what happens inside schools. We don’t seem to appreciate the fact that the great great grandchildren of an illiterate woman are able to read difficult books, perform impressive calculations and write coherent tracts. We take it for granted that our children will learn. 

I suppose that I value education because both my mother and my father did. From the time that I was a small child my dad surrounded me with books and music and experiences that made me curious and eager to learn. He had once attempted to teach his mother how to read and write, but his efforts came too late in her life. He was determined that nobody in his family would ever again take the gift of education for granted. 

I used to tell my students who grumbled about having to attend school each day that they looked at the situation with the wrong attitude. I told them that they were not somehow being punished, but had indeed been provided with a right that they must never let anyone take away from them. I pointed out that despots throughout history have first destroyed the schools, persecuted the teachers and kept the population ignorant. I wanted my pupils to understand that they should challenge any person or any group who seems intent on dismantling schools. I argued that knowledge is more powerful than guns. 

I’m not sure how many of my students took heed of my commentaries on education, but I know for a fact that some of them did. As adults they came to realize that democracy really does die in darkness. They saw evidence that we become slaves to the powerful when we are denied the right to learn. 

When we take an apple to the teacher we should always remember that there was a time when we did not have schools open to everyone in every town. Those heroes of yore who were willing to work for a pittance were the pioneers one of the most important movements in the world, universal education. Today’s teachers continue the tradition of working to assure that every child receives the powerful rights of reading, writing, arithmetic and beyond. Nobody should have to be rich to possess such precious things.