Month: August 2020

It does not seem remotely possible that our times might get even crazier, but here we go. Derecho winds have flattened crops and destroyed or damaged homes in Iowa. Lightning fires are raging across northern California. Now two storms will be entering the Gulf of Mexico to wreak some form of havoc. Two big storms at once are almost as unprecedented as Covid-19 and both our resources and our strength have already been stretched to the limit. Right now we have little that we might do other than to prepare for the worst and take a big sigh to hope for the best. 

As strange as it may sound I’ve been thinking about trees during all of this. Those magnificent redwoods in northern California have withstood centuries of assaults from nature and humans and yet somehow they still stand. Sadly they have been attacked by insects of late that have made them more vulnerable much like Covid-19 has done to humans. As the fires rage in redwood forests some of them are burning to the ground even as there is a fight to quench the flames and save as much as possible. Trees that were once thought invulnerable are succumbing the natures demands.

Here along the Gulf Coast it has long been known that the hardiest kind of trees in the event of a tropical storm or a hurricane are palm trees. With their feathered fronds the winds blow through them and around them. They flexibly bend and adapt to the conditions. Not even hurricane Katrina took down the palms that line the avenues in New Orleans. They were adaptable and so they survived.

I suppose that we humans sometimes attempt to exude a kind of false strength even as we are being eaten away by invisible cares and woes. Like those redwoods we were already in emotional trouble even before 2020. The events of this year have exposed our wounds and the fires raging around us are threatening to consume us. Instead we need to be like those palm trees swaying in unison with the winds that buffet us. We have to let go of our need to be totally in control. We have to be willing to adapt to whatever comes our way and change as needed. 

So far we have not handled the virus very well. It feels as though half of us are treating it seriously and the other half is convinced that all of our efforts are much ado about nothing. The numbers climb in spite of the naysayers and many medical experts now believe that we have created a kind of conundrum. Those who have conscientiously worn masks, socially distanced and refrained from a need to be one hundred percent normal have actually helped to keep the situation from being even worse than it now is. Those who still insist that it is all a hoax on the other hand keep the virus moving from one human to another so that we have never gained control. The medical community predicts that if we continue with this kind of behavior there may be 300,000 deaths by Christmas Day. For those who may think that their data analysis is fear mongering these same people accurately predicted at least 170,000 deaths by August when we were still hunkering down in April thinking that by the summer it would all be a distant memory. 

Storms and fires and destructive winds are a routine part of life and yet we have also been warned that their devastating forces will grow stronger and more frequent if we do not attempt to mend our ways with regard to how we mistreat the environment. At some point the landscape of the world may be drastically altered by our continued insistence on ignoring the data from experts who understand the negative effect we are having on the planet. Whether we agree to adapt to new ways now or wait until our selfishness has impacted us with untold damage it is rather certain that we can no longer insist on the habits that are slowly killing the wonderful world of nature around us. Like the virus that stalks us, so too does the warming of our planet lead to suffering and death.

We humans are rather brilliant, or at least we have brilliant souls among us. For the entirety of history there have been geniuses who explained how things work, creating methods for improving life. This is not the first time that some have chosen to ignore the very people who understand science best. Galileo was persecuted for speaking the truth about the heavens. There are still people who actually believe that the world is flat. For some it is difficult to accept ideas that are frightening or difficult. They prefer not to upset routines and long held beliefs. They are suspicious of anyone who expresses contrary theories that would change the course of how they live. 

Nature is speaking to us, not so gently. She is shouting that we must adapt and change our ways or suffer the consequences. She cares nothing about our freedoms. She is demanding that we hear her. We humans are still capable of healing her and healing ourselves as well. We have the skills. We have the people who know what to do. The question is whether or not we have the will. 

I’m back in the saddle again. Each Tuesday, Thursday and Friday I do a bit of remote teaching. I admittedly have the brightest most well behaved students imaginable. They are always ready for the challenges of mathematics and it is quite fun to be around them, especially in these days when I am still reluctant to take many chances of being infected by Covid-19. I give all the kudos to their devoted parents who dedicate their attention to homeschooling them. It is delightful to be able to help these delightful young people move forward with their education.

In many ways my students and their families  are ahead of the curve that Covid-19 has inflicted on so many learners accustomed to public school education. They already know how to operate from their homes and they do so quite efficiently and effectively. They already had dedicated classroom space with whiteboards, computers and school supplies long before I came along. The students belong to different coop programs that provide enrichment in art, languages, writing, problem solving as such. This is where they have contact with other kids their age and develop knowledge in their special interests. They often end up taking dual credit classes at one of the junior or community colleges when they reach the high school level. They lead emotionally healthy and busy lives while managing to get the acquisition of knowledge done far more quickly than would happen in a traditional classroom.

Right now I am teaching a variety of mathematics classes. My youngest students are at the fourth grade level and the older ones are now in Algebra II. They are so attentive that I am often able to cover what would be a week’s worth of curriculum in a large classroom in one or two hours each week. We have no interruptions or difficulties with classroom management. It is easy to keep moving forward while also checking regularly for understanding. We even have time for a bit of conversation to catch up on how everyone is doing and of course I try to bring laughter into the lessons as well. 

I used to hold my sessions in the homes of the students but due to the virus I now use Zoom to work with them remotely. It is definitely not as much fun but we were able to finish out the spring semester with no problems and now we are beginning a new school year with hardly a blip. One family even installed a big screen television in their home classroom and connected the computer to it so that I am bigger than life as I go through the lessons.

Preparation for remote teaching is far more time consuming that being face to face. I have to be certain that my students will have all of the supplies that they need and I still want to assess their work regularly to determine where any problems may be. For that reason I have developed a system of rotating baskets each week. One contains everything the students will need for the coming  lessons and  the other contains completed work from the students. I have provided each student with a white board and dry erase pens as a way to get rapid responses as we learn various concepts. Putting all of those things together and driving them back and forth actually provides me with an excuse for getting out of the house so I am not complaining at all.

I have learned to live with Covid-19. Like anyone else I would love to be free to do all of the traveling and enjoying retired life that was once my routine but I’m willing to hang loose until there is a green light alerting us to an all clear. I really can’t complain because my home is comfortable. I have been able to procure anything that I have needed. I’ve learned to travel at a social distance in my trailer. I still write each day and I am almost finished with a final edit of my book. I keep quite busy and now I have my students back to provide me with a worthy purpose during the interim.

I know that students are returning to school all over the country and I genuinely hope that they and their teachers will have a healthy and happy school year. I would hate to think that things will begin to fall apart because I sense that many are beginning to unravel from the stress of the pandemic so far. As a nation and even the world we are all anxious to resume our normal lives and our children are feeling the uneasiness no matter how much we attempt to hide it from them. I know that most of the kids will be okay because young people are quite flexible, but it’s up to each and everyone of us to communicate with them and be certain that their fears and disappointments are being addressed. Perhaps this is a great opportunity to slow things down for them instead of attempting to keep all of those appointments that they might otherwise have had. I think we all have to be good to ourselves and everyone around us. Self care is not just for adults. Children and teens need it as well.

I know how uncertain all of this is. It is not possible for everyone to have special classrooms in their houses or even to keep children home for schooling. We long to get our young people back to a semblance of normalcy but normal may look very different for a time. Be patient with the teachers. They are already exhausted from learning new ways of delivering lessons and planning them for them. They have an infinite number of worries for which they have designed plans B through Z. Their world is as upside down as yours with changes happening continually in real time. They want the best for your children as much as you do. Be ready to support them as they travel through shark laden waters. 

We may be psychologically done with Covid-19 and but I fear that it is not yet done with us. Be ready to help in the effort to keep our nation’s students moving forward with as much positivity as possible. Stay optimistic even if it is just an act. We’ve got this but it may end up looking a bit strange. That is alright. Flexibility is as important to learn as the three Rs. This our the modern day school house one way or another for now.

I have a gentle nature. I am not prone to anger or violence. I tend to be a quiet person who melts into a crowd. My level of empathy is so strong that I sometimes cry over the difficulties of strangers. I worry about people, and not just those that I know. I have a sixth sense when it comes to noticing someone who is in pain, either physically or mentally. I am an observer of human nature. People are always more important to me than money or things. I would gladly give away my possessions for the sake of helping someone in need. I have a strong relationship with God who has helped me through difficult challenges again and again. 

I grew up with only memories of a father and while they were pleasant I hid an internal sadness in knowing that I would never see him again. I watched my mother bravely struggle with finances. Somehow she always found ways to keep us housed and fed but we made untold sacrifices that we rarely mentioned. I know that we never had health insurance of any kind. I don’t think I visited our family physician at all from the time my father died when I was eight until I was a teen needing a physical exam for college. We got our vaccinations from the Canal Clinic for free. I recall sitting there on hard wooden chairs for hours waiting for our number to be called. 

I did not drive until I was married because my mother was unable to afford the insurance for me. I had to rely on the kindness of friends to get around and I often used my bicycle to travel rather long distances when none of them were available. My family led a rather spartan life but it was always filled with love and gratitude for what we had. My mother always told us to be thankful for our blessings. She reminded us that if we had a roof over our heads and a bed for sleeping that we were indeed fortunate. She often boasted that we had never missed a meal and that was certainly true. I learned to enjoy a big bowl of pinto beans for dinner and a fried egg sandwich for lunch. My closet looked almost bare with my five school blouses, two skirts, a blazer and the four dress up outfits that hung there. I had just what I needed and no more. 

I suppose that my childhood experiences prepared me well for teaching underserved minority populations. So many of my students lived in poverty and were often misunderstood by the middle class population. I knew what it was like to live on the edge, to worry as much about my family’s situation as my studies. I knew that many of my students were faking it from day to day much as I had. I opened my heart to them and somehow they realized that I would be an ally because I had once walked in their shoes. 

I suppose that my background explains my political leanings. My mother would speak of the Great Depression with a kind of reverence. She told me of the hardships that most of society endured. She described how her mother saved cardboard to put in the bottom of shoes when the leather soles became so thin that there was a hole. Mama was the queen of hand me downs. Everything she wore had once belonged to her three older sisters. It was not until she was a teen that she learned to sew and how to earn money for fabric that she ever wore a brand new outfit. 

Mama often spoke of the profound prejudice aimed and her and her family members. Neighbors and classmates threw rocks at her and her siblings as they walked to school. They cursed them with epithets and urged them to go back to wherever they had come from. They didn’t seem to realize that my mother and her brothers and sisters had all been born in the United States. On one occasion my mom’s best friend had to rescind an invitation to a sweet sixteen tea party because her parents feared that the “dirty immigrant girl” would be an embarrassment. That immigrant girl was my mother. 

Mama used to boast that her family had always been Democrats. It was not until Ronald Reagan that she ever changed from that affiliation. She like Reagan because she had idolized him in movies when she was young and because he seemed to be a truly nice individual. After that she went back and forth with her vote. 

I am disturbed by the nasty tone of the most recent elections. I do not like the references to minorities, immigrants, women that sound so much like the kind of abuse that my mother had to endure when she was a young girl. I am saddened by comments that assume that poverty is a result of ignorance and laziness. I cringe when I hear people telling those that they do not like to go back to wherever they came from. When I observe such things I remember the look of hurt in my sweet and guileless mother when she told me of the treatment she had received. I cannot imagine what drives people to accept such behavior in anyone much less a leader. 

I was taught that America’s greatness lies in the goodness of its people and I still believe that, but when I get attacked for simply stating my own beliefs I worry that we are going down a dangerous pathway. Each of us have differing backgrounds and needs that often color how we decide to vote. It’s important that we have those choices. A one size fits all way of thinking is the very last thing we need. Diversity of citizens and philosophies makes our nation vibrant, not an insistence that we must join a certain team or face rejection. 

In the coming months we will continue to deal with Covid-19 and we will be contemplating how to cast our votes in November. The most American and patriotic thing that we might do is embrace our differences. We should all insist that there is no place for insults or stereotyping. American democracy is not going to end one way or another when the votes are counted. Our nation has endured many trials and somehow comes out stronger each time, but that requires the realization that the vast majority of our 300,000,000 people have good hearts. I vote the way I do based on my personal experiences. Others choose based on theirs. We need to save our attacks for Covid-19 and not for political thoughts. 

We hear a great deal about breathing these days. Those who contract Covid-19 often speak of having difficulty catching a breath. Some end up needing the assistance of a ventilator just to send oxygen into their lungs. We watched in horror as George Floyd pleaded for his mother’s help as he struggled to breathe under the constricting knee of a police officer. Each day lovely images appear on Facebook under the title Just Breathe. Sometimes we become almost breathless in our debates with one another over the coming presidential election. 

One thing for certain is that calming our souls and drawing deep breaths of oxygen into our lungs is good for both our physical and mental health. Sadly we often take this simple act for granted and sometimes we even put ourselves into a harmful state by neglecting to take the very measures that will ensure that we are modulating this life giving gift.

Of late we have politicized breathing on many different levels. Some follow the guidelines of wearing masks, keeping distances and staying away from crowded places in an attempt to save themselves and others from contracting Covid-19. Others see such actions as an assault on their individual freedoms, insisting that they owe nothing to others and should not have to endure the discomfort and indignity of wearing a covering over their mouths. Many saw the death of George Floyd as a clear indication of the level of disregard for the lives of our Black citizens while others saw it only as an excuse for violence and looting. We engage in debates that often become so heated and personally offensive that we literally find ourselves gasping for calm. 

I remember presidential elections from as far back as the year that Dwight Eisenhower was running for that office. I was a very young  girl back then who knew little or nothing about the issues but I had heard the slogan I like Ike and I was drawn to the idea of supporting the general who in my mind had helped to save the world. I remember riding my bicycle around the neighborhood with my friend, Lynda, shouting I like Ike to no one in particular. The only other memory of that campaign is the anger that I felt when political convention coverage preempted The Mickey Mouse Club. Nonetheless I was thrilled when Eisenhower won without ever really knowing what party he represented or what ideas he espoused. 

The next time I recall a presidential election was when John Kennedy ran for that office. I was not yet a teen but I had a great deal of interest in that contest mostly because Kennedy was a Catholic like me and I thought he was quite handsome. I also felt that his wife was quite lovely and would grace the White House well. I knew little of his actual politics until he was already acting as our Commander in Chief and the Cuban missile crisis ensued. I thought he handled that incident  well and I was inspired by his speeches, his support for the space program and his smile. 

I had much more skin in the game when Lyndon Johnson ran against Barry Goldwater. By then I had studied the issues and realized that I leaned more toward Johnson’s thinking. Mostly though my motivations were rather shallow. I wanted someone from Texas to be in charge of managing the country. I felt a certain obligation to demonstrate loyalty to a fellow Texan even as I disagreed with many of his ideas.

Over the years I became more and more attuned to what each presidential candidate believed. I never found someone who perfectly fit my own philosophies nor did I agree implicitly with one party. For that reason I remained staunchly independent and voted based on hopes that my choices would be leaders who worked for all of the people all of the time. I went back and forth between Republicans and Democrats over the years attempting to determine who approximated the greatest number of my beliefs. As I matured I realized that every single candidate who ran for president was flawed in one way or another so my vote became more and more of a selection of the lesser of two evils or, to be more positive, the one who seemed more likely to be a good shepherd of democracy. 

I won some and lost some. From time to time I voted differently from my husband and other relatives and friends. There were occasions when I regretted my choices or came to realize the value of a president for whom I had not voted. Above all I greatly appreciated that I lived in a country where I was free to openly agree to disagree and still keep my relationships with my fellow citizens strong and loving. We all seemed to be alike in our earnest desire to keep our nation strong even when we differed in how to achieve that goal. There was a kind of mutual respect that we saw in the friendships of both political allies and those who battled one another. It was not just okay for us to support divergent ideas but actually something that we all seemed to know was necessary for the health and continuation of our political system.

I do not know the exact moment when things began to change. I suspect that the roots may have found a hold  in the atmosphere of Richard Nixon’s dirty tricks. They festered like a virus until they raged again during Bill Clinton’s time in office. The great downfall from grace came with the hanging chads of the 2000 election and the terrorist attacks of 9/11. A kind of hysteria overtook politics and became louder and more filled with suspicions and hoaxes and anger than it had been in decades. Political discussions were polluted with demeaning language and anger. People began to become evangelists for their specific issues, preaching a kind of doomsday scenario for the future of our country if we did not join them in their crusade. 

Then there was Donald J. Trump who took the populist idea of preying on fears to a level not seen for more than fifty years. He spoke with a venomous passion of foreign and domestic enemies. He hearkened to a time that may or may not have actually ever existed. He insulted those who disagreed with him in language that we had never seen a president use so publicly. He was a street fighter who appealed to our lesser instincts. He demanded loyalty from his followers and as he gained more and more power even members of his own political party who spoke against some of his actions became victims of his bombast. His supporters explained away his flaws and elevated him to a level of adoration unseen during my lifetime. 

Now we cannot seem to simply express our own feelings about various issues without fear of having someone argue with us, put down our ideas, sometimes even reject us. Friendships are lost. Families are divided. We feel as though we cannot breathe in the toxic atmosphere. 

It does not and should not be that way. Each of us should be free to choose a political stance and still maintain close and loving feelings for those who have decided otherwise. We should not be turning each other into opponents nor should we be judgmental or self righteous. Why are we making people so anxious that they feel as though they are gasping for breath? Why can’t we simply accept other points of view and maybe even learn from them? 

The real danger in our country is not from Russians or Chinese but from ourselves. We have interjected far too much emotion and not nearly enough rationality into our discourse. We have forgotten the ideals upon which our country was somewhat imperfectly founded. We can be better than we have most recently been. We can sit quietly and discuss our beliefs like my father and grandfather often did, like my mother-in-law and I used to do. Let’s get back to dignity and respect. Let’s demonstrate empathy. Let’s all just breathe.