Month: October 2020

This is still my favorite time of year in spite of all of the changes wrought by Covid-19. I usually have a constant routine of attending events and preparing for the many holidays that abound. This year has changed so many things which I don’t mind at all, but I have to admit that I am becoming quite angry that we are not more uniformly bearing the sacrifices of enduring the pandemic. I realize that some don’t get as sick as others and that we need to continue to move forward insofar as possible, but if I hear one more person suggesting that the virus isn’t all that much because it really only hurts old people and anyone with underlying health issues I think I will scream. 

I’ve also grown weary of the people who suggest that we just need to open everything back up and forget all of the silliness of masks and social distancing. They flaunt their “courage” and freedom by boldly eschewing their masks and shooting the proverbial finger at such measures. They point to the fact that things appear to be getting better, ignoring the growing numbers that include thousands of new cases every single day in the United States alone. They don’t seem to understand the rules of cause and effect that they should have learned in elementary school. If we are doing better at all it is because about half of the people in this country are religiously wearing their masks and continually taking precautions. If we all tossed our masks in the trash bin I suspect that our situation would be dire. 

I have no problem with mostly staying home. I don’t mind attending my Rice University continuing education class remotely. I missed walking among the lovely plants at the Houston Garden Club Bulb Mart this year but I drove through to pick up the items that I ordered online and had fun planting them in my garden. I’m sad that I won’t get to visit the extravaganza of the Nutcracker Market in person but maybe the virtual version will provide me with a fun shopping experience in the comfort of my home. I’ll miss my brother’s big family gathering at Thanksgiving but I’ll use that day to decorate for Christmas and order gifts from the online Black Friday sales. Christmas Day won’t include forty plus guests this year so I’ll see what it is like to quietly do my own thing. I can live with change if it means keeping the virus at bay.

I can make for one year to keep myself and others healthy, but please don’t act as though people like me should be the only ones playing it safe. Do not insinuate that if it were not for the old folks life would be so much better. Please remember that when the less vulnerable people flaunt the rules it makes it that much less likely that those of us who have been precautious will be able to be back in the swing of things for quite some time. 

There are older citizens languishing in their houses or nursing homes who might be able to reenter the world if they know that everyone else is creating a safe environment for them. Sadly all too often there are individuals who think that their rights are more important than the common good. If I see half of the people in Buccee’s or my HEB grocery store tossing their masks in their pockets I don’t feel comfortable being out in public again. I worry that I may bring the virus to my husband or my father-in-law. I feel that I have to stay put. The precautions should based only on the condition of each person, but on the general condition of the country. We have to do this for each other, not just for ourselves. 

I sense that we are in grave danger of being held hostage by widespread selfishness when a militia group plots to kidnap and possibly even murder a governor only because she has instituted strict guidelines for dealing with Covid-19. When the response to such an horrific attempt is to suggest that the governor brought the potential violence on herself, I worry that we have lost our common decency and morality as a nation. Even our president seemed more amused by the incident than concerned about its implications and he has yet to send his support to the governor. 

This is not the time to throw caution to the wind. Our political leaders need to call out anyone who would suggest that only older and unhealthy people need to be careful. They should be modeling compassion and seriousness about Covid-19. They should always remember the over 210,000 people who have already died. When they compare this virus and its consequences to the flu they are slapping the faces of all of the families that have already lost a loved one. They are insulting the professionalism and concerns of the medical community. They are telling those who have been advised to stay home that they do not matter. It’s time to stop such disregard and insensitivity.

We are entering the months of the year when illnesses grow like wildfire. We have little idea how Covid-19 will act in the coming weeks. Stop the bravado. Put on the masks without complaint. Indicate your empathy for the vulnerable. Get a flu shot. Stand back from strangers. Quit insisting on being totally normal for now. Adapt, adjust and think about the good of everyone. Above all be kind.

She began her life as an adult working in a hospital as a member of the cleaning crew. Day after day she arrived early and worked twelve hour shifts mopping floors, scrubbing toilets, sweeping hallways. She was proud of her contribution to the health of the thousands of people who came to the medical center in the hopes of becoming well again. She put extra effort into making the environment spotless and safe but as she watched the nurses interacting with the patients she found herself wanting to be more like them. 

She had not been a particularly outstanding student in high school. For many reasons learning had not been a priority so college had seemed to be out of reach, but now she thought about becoming a nurse more and more often. She found a program that was flexible enough to allow her to keep her job and take courses step by step. 

It was difficult laboring for long hours and then spending her free time attending lectures, reading and studying but she was as determined and dedicated as she had been with her modest job. Bit by bit she moved closer and closer to earning a degree until one day she had completed all of the coursework and the rotations through different aspects of nursing. She had passed the state licensing exam and she was a registered nurse, hired for a position in the same hospital where she had once cleaned. 

She loved her work. She had quietly watched the nurses that she most admired. She had learned as much from them as she had from her books. She found great joy in working with the patients. It felt as though she was a natural, someone destined to be a nurse for all time. She worked those twelve hour shifts with passion. 

Her supervisors told her that she was a rock star. They recommended her for advancement but she knew that she needed more education. Her desire to learn became insatiable and so she once again spent her days and nights and weekends juggling work with studying to become a nurse practitioner. It was challenging and exhausting but she had long ago learned that her grit would serve her well. She knew how to sacrifice to become the person that she really wanted to be. Once again she persisted and earned the coveted degrees and certifications that she needed. Now in that same hospital where she once scrubbed toilets she is a revered nurse practitioner, still an essential worker, still on the front line of healthcare, still passionate about her work, still a hero. 

She is proud of her entire body of work. She knows the importance of having a clean and sterile environment inside a hospital. The workers who provide that service are unsung heroes dealing with germs and waste that potentially carry disease if not eliminated properly. She understands the importance of having nurses on continuous call to immediately administer to the needs of patients. She now has a body of medical knowledge that some first year residents do not yet have. She has worked hard to get to where she now is. She would tell people of any circumstances or ages never to simply give up and settle for anything less than the best of their dreams. She would also remind us to honor anyone who is part of the chain of responsibilities that make us well. Any job done well and with love is of great value. 

There is a competitiveness in schools today that often discourages young people. They are ranked and tested in ways that sometimes undervalue their true worth. They are led to believe that they are unworthy of elite universities or difficult majors. In fact they are sometimes told that they just do not have what it takes. Such systems don’t have a measurement for grit, determination, persistence, hard work. An SAT score or class standing does not always tell the true tale of an individual’s character. There is so much more to becoming a successful adult than just appearing to be smart. Life is not a race. 

The woman in my story is real. She overcame barriers that would have discouraged most people. She might have been a cleaning lady for the rest of her days if she had only listened to the naysayers who did not believe in her. Instead there was a voice in her head that told her that if she just worked a bit harder she would overcome the challenges that seemed to be blocking her pathway forward. She understood that her only competition was with herself. She patiently and quietly made progress without comparing herself to anyone else. 

In an effort to be data driven rather than anecdotal our school systems use testing and numbers to theoretically be fair. What should have been a method for creating individualized and self paced learning opportunities instead became a game of determining the worth of every teacher and student. The problem is that the numbers often lie to us and sometimes in the process they also change the trajectory of potential. It is something that we need to change. We should instead be looking for that person who never gives up, the one who keeps fighting against the tide, the one with a special talent that can’t be measured. If we did that we would find many more people like the cleaning woman turned nurse practitioner.

She is now an officer in the battle against Covid-19. She dons her battle gear each day and leads her battalion to save lives. As she does she has full understanding that somewhere among the lower ranks is an earnest person like herself with the potential to be a hero. Hers is a story that we need to share with our children. She is the kind of person we all should hope to be. 

As I write this a hurricane is moving toward Louisiana in a path that threatens cities and towns that are still reeling from hurricane Laura during the summer. We are feeling outer bands of wind and getting some rain where I am in Texas. The sky is dark and dreary. I’m making soup and feeling rather safe and cozy but my mind keeps drifting to those whose lives will be upended by the impending storm. It’s also on something even more somber, a message from a dear friend who has learned that a young man in the senior class of her son’s high school has died from suicide. Meanwhile my husband Mike received an email today with news that one of his high school classmates has died. 

This has been an incredibly difficult year for so many. There are millions of distressing stories that we have not even heard. People have been sick. People have died. Homes have burned. Winds have destroyed houses and businesses. Millions are still out of work and wondering how much longer they will be able to hold on without losing everything. Teachers and students are struggling to keep schooling going in very difficult circumstances. We have witnessed injustice and protests. The F.B.I. uncovered an incredible plot to kidnap the governor of Michigan. The political environment is filled with venom and division. Nothing feels right. We are no longer surprised by anything. We feel battered and numb.

We do our best to be as normal as possible. We explore ways to relax and to laugh and to celebrate small victories. Sometimes we find a quiet corner to meditate or even to shed a few tears. We may not have contracted Covid-19 or suffered from other health problems but we are mentally fragile and so are our children. They are quietly absorbing the stress that they feel, perhaps without really understanding their own emotions. 

I am teaching mathematics to eleven different students during the course of each week. They vary in age from about fourth grade to high school. They delight me and fill me with joy each time that I see their beautiful faces on the screen of my laptop. We try to laugh and forget about the world around us during our time together but sometimes reality creeps into our discussion. We digress from math for a few minutes to talk of something that matters more. 

Recently one of my kids quietly mentioned that someone in his school had Covid-19. It was apparent that he was a bit worried so we talked about the virus and how it is spread. I mentioned precautions that he might take and he assured me that he was following the protocols. I tried to be honest without frightening him because he was already quite nervous about what is happening. He thanked me for talking with him and said that his father had told him similar things. He greatly admires his father and views him as one of the smartest men in the world. I liked that he is able to talk about his feelings with his dad. 

It is unlikely that our difficulties will all be solved anytime soon. Winter is coming and with it will be bouts with colds and the flu as well as a possible resurgence of Covid 19. There will  be an election that will bring who knows what kind of reactions. Our holidays may look different. There will still be deaths and unexpected events. We have to find ways to keep hope alive, ways to laugh, ways to care for ourselves. We also have to protect our children whether they be toddlers or teens or twenty somethings. They are watching and being affected by everything that happens. Talk with them just as that father so lovingly spoke with his son. Help with their fears without making light of them. Talk with them no matter how tired you may be or how grouchy they may be. Make certain with every fiber of your being that they fully understand how much they are loved. 

Make the most of small things. A walk around the neighborhood can be more comforting than an elaborate outing. Making cookies together and talking about feelings keeps helps our young people to know that their concerns are normal. Sometimes a hug is worth a thousand words. It only takes a few minutes to show how much you care.

I think of the young man who took his life and it tears out my heart. I would urge every parent, every adult to watch for signs that someone in your circle is not doing well. Watch for the cries for help, remembering that sometimes they are so very subtle. Depression manifests itself in countless ways. Many times the person who is laughing the most is dying inside. Communicate, communicate, communicate. Somebody you know may be sending signals even now. Be aware of them and then reach out to comfort them or even urge them to seek professional guidance. 

Be kind in every way. That person who seems so angry or lazy or insulting may actually be dealing with issues that are all consuming. If you are a teacher watch for these things in yourself and in your students. If you are a parent keep the love and the communication flowing. If you are a friend reach out to anyone who appears to be lonely or hurting. We need each other and nothing, absolutely nothing, should be more important than taking that extra moment to reach out a hand in a spirit of love.

Three years ago I embarked on a journey with my husband Mike to become fit and trim. I ended up losing close to twenty pounds over a period of about nine months. I was working out at the gym five days a week and feeling really good about my health and my appearance. I never had cookies or chips or bread or ice cream or any of those things inside my home. I was living a clean life even though I admittedly missed some of the goodies that I had omitted from my diet. I kept track of what I ate and created a notebook filled with great recipes that included no pasta or rice or salt. I even gave up the diet Coke that had become my go to medication for migraine headaches. I was dedicated to doing the right thing for both me and Mike.

Then came Covid-19 and time stuck at home for weeks and then months on end. At first I thought that I’d get into the baking mode like so many of my friends were doing. I made banana bread and lemon pound cake. I bought some cream cheese to spread on it. I decided that it would not hurt to have some spaghetti or chicken and dumplings. Before long I caved and brought it some bread. After all we needed a diversion from the monotony of isolation and there were so many wonderful recipes being shared on Facebook. I figured a little treat here and there would not hurt a thing. 

Of course I have not been able to go to the gym so I substituted my exercise routine with long walks on my treadmill. They were refreshing but I missed the weight machines and so did my arms. Slowly the little bulges of muscle became flabby as did my waistline. No matter how vigilant I was in closing all of the rings on my Apple watch it just wasn’t the same as a good workout at the gym. I tried a few online exercise programs but found myself getting easily bored and sweaty. 

I haven’t worn nice clothing in forever. I switch from pajamas to baggy pants and t-shirts each morning and pad around the house in my bare feet. My hair has grown to a length that I haven’t seen since I was in my twenties and I have not put on makeup since February. My fingers and toes are au natural, no manis or pedis. In other words I have become an absolute mess. Worst of all I have gained back half of the weight that I worked so hard to lose. Perhaps the only positive about that is the fact that when I recently lost my footing on a slick wet bathroom floor and banged my jaw and arm against the vanity I did not break a bone. In that moment I thought of my mother’s theory that women with a bit of padding on their bodies are less likely to be fragile. I doubt she was right about that but at least owning her idea made my fall from health a little easier to accept.

I suppose that it is time to get back to work again before there is a vaccine for the virus and I am able to go back into society again. I would like to be in better shape when that happens. It means that I will have to forego cookies and ice cream and all forms of pasta and rice. There can be no more crackers or bread. I have to eat vegetables and fish and drink lots and lots of water. Mostly I have to find a more aggressive form of exercise than just walking.

Sometimes it just does not feel fair that there are so many wonderful things to eat in this world that are bad for us. I often think of one of my aunts who used to note that when she was young and fit she could not afford any dietary luxuries and once she had the income to purchase them they were hazardous to her health. Wouldn’t it be nice if cheesecake was good for us and we had to avoid kale?

The doctors seem to think that winter will be difficult this year in terms of Covid 19 which probably means that I won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. Instead I’ll try to get back to a regimen of self care. It’s been fun being a slouch but I’ll have to purchase all new clothing if I don’t pull back on my ingestion of things that really taste good. I’m proud to announce that at least I have not been guilty of returning to my Diet Coke addiction even though I still crave one whenever I have a hamburger or watch a movie with a bowl of popcorn. 

I find myself being a bit jealous of the younger women that I know who post images of the yummy meals that they are preparing that I must once again try to avoid. I suppose that my metabolism is about as fast as a snail these days so I would have to exercise for hours to continue eating like I have been of late and not turn into a chubby little woman 

Wish me well. I’ll be taking out the old notebook of saltless, fatless, pasta less, somewhat tasteless recipes to go along with long walks around the neighborhood and doing aerobics with weights. Now if I can just convince myself that it is going to be great it may turn into a worthy project.

I know I’m an older person, two years younger than Donald Trump to be exact, but still classified as a senior citizen in spite of my energy and general good health. My mind is quick but now and again I find myself searching for a word that I know is stored in my memory. Sometimes I even use the wrong word even though I know what I meant. I suppose that almost everyone regardless of age is prone to such things now and again. I like to think of myself as still being young at heart and willing to accept change as needed. We humans need to evolve over time and I do my best to stay up to date. I am not one of the old people who longs for the days of my youth nor do I think that I am somehow wiser than the young men and women of today. 

I have great regard for the generations that have come after mine. I find all of them, the Gen Xers, the Millennials, and Gen Zers, to be thoughtful about the future and what needs to be done to insure that life will continue to improve. Sadly I see far too many from my Baby Boomer group acting as though all common sense and intelligence ended when the last boomer came out of the womb. I read and hear horrific comments from them about the laziness, ignorance and disrespectfulness of succeeding generations. It infuriates me because I know that it is simply not true. In fact it is ridiculous to stereotype any group of people and if ever there was a group that should know this, it is the Baby Boomers. We’ve been typecast since the nineteen sixties.

I have taught all of the generations since the nineteen seventies and I have been impressed with their earnest desires to be good productive citizens. They may go through some rough stages as teenagers but they always become quite serious as adults. They have genuine concerns about what the world may be like long after I am gone and they are tasked with solving the problems. They have lots of grand ideas but feel frustrated that so many from my time are fearful of viewing things from a different perspective. They are anxious to get started moving toward more equity and working on the environment. They worry that if we wait much longer they will spend most of their future cleaning up messes that might have been avoided if only we had acted sooner.

They realize that just as the Industrial Revolution created a world unlike anything ever before seen, so too the time will come for using science and technology to change the way we live and work. They realize that we will have to move away from habits that are endangering our planet and our own existence. They rightly believe that new ways of doing things will create new opportunities and jobs. They take heart in the inventiveness of humans that has driven societies forward for centuries but they also realize that it will require flexibility and a willingness to give up old habits that are harmful. We have done this before so surely we can do it again.

They are looking for new modes of transportation, new ways of educating our young, new kinds of diets, new ways of living together. They see transitions as a positive thing, not as a denial of the past. We don’t use horses and buggies anymore but some of our grandparents did. We have embraced progress before but of late so many of us seem reluctant to move forward rather than clinging to the past. We are leery of taking risks even as we should surely realize that not taking them will hold us back from the possibilities that will make life better for everyone.

Those younger than I am are willing to look at our history with eyes wide open, not just to complain, but to try new more just ways of living together. They are less inclined to see the world in nationalistic ways or to want to isolate themselves from new ideas. They are not nearly as concerned with possessions as with people. They imagine a kind and open world and while they in fact know that idealism is almost always impossible they would at least like to move closer to a truly peaceful cooperation with the entirety of humanity.

In spite of some generally held beliefs these generations have been well educated. They have explored mathematics more deeply than most Boomers ever did. They have embraced science more fully. They have been exposed to literature and cultures of the entire world, not just that of their own little corners. They have studied history with honesty. They make decisions based on information that they have learned in twelve or more years of longer times in school than Boomers ever had.

The world is not the same as it was when the Boomers were young and it should not be. Just as we would think it ludicrous to go back to medieval times, so too is it silly to long for the days of our youth. We move forward and hopefully we adapt. The clock keeps ticking. The earth keeps revolving around the sun. There is no turning back so we would do well to demonstrate some respect for the younger people who are already taking their places as the next leaders in the halls of power. Let’s not leave them an outdated mess because we are always looking backward.