Sometimes there are movies or television programs that find a niche in my heart and seem to stay there forever. Long after viewing I find myself thinking about what I learned from the characters or the story. Ted Lasso is one of those classic series that sticks with me, comes to mind at unexpected times during the day. I literally feel a connection to each of the characters that is so real. I see a bit of myself in each of them and I almost view the series in its entirety as a kind of parable about the human spirit that somehow muddles through even the deepest tragedies and disappointments.
We humans are both incredibly flexible and strong but also sometimes weak and uncertain. The totality of our experiences often lead us down destructive pathways in which we doubt ourselves or even dislike ourselves. We present protective faces to the world that may or may not comply with how we feel inside. Such are the characters of Ted Lasso, flawed individuals attempting to overcome the weight of stories that have prevented them from fully being themselves.
When Ted Lasso encounters this cast of characters he at first seems to be a rather naive and silly soul, but over the course of the series we learn that Ted is a classic caretaker. His role in life seems to be to shore up everyone but himself. When dealing with the other people he encounters he almost always presents the kind of wisdom that helps them to become better versions of themselves. He is an optimistic soul who sees the good and the potential in everyone. He accepts and loves people freely, always more focused on making their lives better than worrying about winning or advancing himself. He is a good man, but as often happens with really good people he has a tendency to hide his own suffering, to freely give so much that there is sometimes very little left for himself.
We all know someone like that, a seemingly saintly soul who ministers to others instinctively. My dear friend and colleague, Sharon Saunders, was such a person. She saved countless individuals from self destructive thoughts and behaviors and yet she more often than not hid her own trials. When she died people spoke of the miracles that she had performed for them but regretted that they had not really told her how important she had been to them while she was still alive.
It’s not unusual at all for any of us to know and love someone like the fictional Ted or the very real Sharon. In our hearts we feel such gratitude for that person but we allow time to slip away without acknowledging their incredible Impact on our lives. In the bustle of our daily routines there just does not seem to be enough time to genuinely thank people for always being so considerate.
As we go about the business of living it might be our hairdresser who becomes our therapist, the waiter at the Cracker Barrel who brings a smile to our faces every time we encounter him. Perhaps it is the neighbor who takes time to get to know everyone and then bring them together in celebration who is the Ted among us. The guy who manicures our yard in one hundred degree weather is a true hero, but how often do we tell him that? It is often in the seemingly insignificant areas of life that we find the greatest comfort and joy. We would do well to let those folks know how much we appreciate what they do because they may be carrying loads even heavier than our own.
I went to high school with a lovely girl named Bren. She grew up to become a beloved college professor at Loyola University in Chicago. During Covid, Bren was quietly reaching out to so many of us, sending little notes to cheer us, and even offering hospitality if we ever decided to visit Chicago. Bren was a very busy woman and yet she found the time to do the loveliest things for the people that she knew. I know that she inspired me beyond measure. I never really got to tell her how grateful I was for her kindness because she died rather suddenly. It was a grave loss to the world and many gathered to praise her at her funeral. It seems sadly to be what we most often do instead of loudly proclaiming the wonder of a person like Bren while she can still enjoy the praise.
Ted Lasso reminds us of the power of compassion, optimism and forgiveness. We would do well to fellow his lead in our interactions with the people that come our way. At the same time we need to honor the Ted Lassos that we know to be extraordinary. Sometimes they too have moments of self doubt. Let them know how wonderful they are just the way they are. Do it today!
All It Takes Is A Little Love 