Month: July 2023

Life on Anacortes Street with Mike, my two girls, and the most wonderful neighbors was delightful. In the seventies life there was a slice of Americana reminiscent of my own childhood days. My two daughters were definitely free range kids who played with neighborhood children all up and down our street. The doors to our home were rarely locked with kids coming in and out, sometimes even staying the night in unplanned celebrations for just about any reason. I was quite content with life but one serendipitous event after another made me more and more certain that I needed to complete my degree and become a full time teacher. 

By the end of the seventies I was working regularly at Do and Learn Preschool and loving every minute of my time there. I also had expanded my reach with children when a neighbor asked me to care for her daughter while she ran a business. Soon word of mouth gave me four more youngsters to entertain and feed while their mothers worked at various jobs. I was still teaching at my church as well. My days became incredibly busy and delightfully fun, but I wanted more than anything to return to the University of Houston to complete my degree and get started with my own full time job, Since my youngest was approaching kindergarten age, I would have time to attend classes and study without having to worry about daycare. Besides, everyone was finally in good health and I had learned from my many child centered gigs that I really did enjoy teaching and being around children. Every single day required me to be creative and I liked the challenge. 

I finally gave my regrets to all of the folks who had entrusted their children to me either in my home or at the preschool or at church. I selected my classes, paid the fees, and soon enough found myself hunting for a parking spot at the University of Houston, a feat that was even more daunting than any of my classes. I was enchanted from day one with each and everyone of my courses and approached them with a confidence and eagerness that had been missing in my younger days. I literally basked in the enlightenment from every professor and threw myself into the assignments with abandon. I was like a child in a candy shop who could not get enough of the fare that lay before me. Needless to say, the professors took note of my enthusiasm as well and became unofficial mentors who believed that I would surely thrive in a classroom. 

When I combined my natural abilities with the experiences I had gained in the years since I had last taken a class, I felt a sense that I would be able to tackle any challenge that came my way. I was juggling my home life with being a student and never missing a beat. I even managed to keep my mother on track with her doctors and medications. I welcomed new members of our ever growing extended family as my brothers and sisters-in-law made me an aunt over and over again with Daniel and Shawn and David and Ryan becoming my new nephews. I had rarely felt as excited about life as I did in those glorious years of balancing on one foot while spinning plates on my head. 

I was ready to tackle anything, so when the two nuns who had been running the religious education program at St. Frances Cabrini Catholic Church announced that they were moving, I accepted their offer to head the program for preschool through fifth grade. I was far enough along in earning my degree that I felt certain that I would be able to work full time, care for my family and finish my coursework without any difficulty. Somehow my insane belief that I was superwoman actually worked. So by the time I finally had my coveted degree and certification my resume was bursting with evidence that I was more than just a good student.

Unfortunately I began my job search at one the few times in the history of Houston when there was a glut of teachers. A noticeable dip in the oil boom that had made the city a behemoth left schools with more educators than they needed as people moved to greener pastures and took their children with them. The professors who had taught me even apologized for the lack of jobs for the graduating class. On the day of our commencement only one member of our corps had a job and she was the daughter of a local superintendent. They rest of us were still searching almost hopelessly for positions. it would be late in the summer before I had a contract in spite of my grades, awards and fully packed resume. 

I went to work in September of 1983, at St. Christopher Catholic School. The principal had called me for an interview on the pretense of looking for an English teacher for the junior high. When I arrived she admitted that she actually needed a mathematics teacher and had noticed that math was my unofficial minor. Since I had learned how to be incredibly flexible from the challenges I had already endured, i thought it would be fun to try my hand at teaching six different levels of math. Little did I know that it would become my forever fate because each time I made a move, every school always seemed to need someone to teach the math courses rather than English. 

I went to work as a mature and seasoned teacher. I understood my students and most of all understood myself. I dove into my lesson planning and even volunteered to sponsor the school newspaper and head the fledgling computer committee. I had already been in many trials by fire, so I found the many demands to just be all in a days work. Teaching six different courses would ready me for the future. Having exceedingly well behaved students would allow me to master my teaching skills rather than having to focus on classroom management. Working at St. Christopher’s ended up being a job made in heaven. My first official year as a bonafide teacher was a good as it gets. 

Meanwhile my own family was supportive of my dedication to my students. It would only be in retrospect that I sometimes wondered if it had been difficult for them to share so much of my time and attention with the hundreds of little souls who were to come. I had finally found my passion and it consumed me with unadulterated joy.   

When my grandfather first arrived in Texas from the Slovakian area of Hungary he rented a single room in downtown Houston near where Minute Maid Park, home of the Houston Astros now stands. A year later he sent for my grandmother and according to stories from one of my aunts the two of them lived and worked on a big farm in eastern Harris Country. They were seasonal workers moving around Texas wherever there were jobs back then, saving their money to buy a plot of land in Houston where they would ultimately build a house room by room. They paid cash for each addition until their home was finally completed. They would raise eight children in the impossibly tiny space and when the Great Depression came they would have no worries about losing the house because they owned it lock, stock and barrel. 

I was not even twenty when I married but by the time I was twenty five my husband and I were living in a very nice home near Hobby Airport in Houston. We paid on $19,000 for our house which had three bedrooms, a huge kitchen, a living and dining room, a den and a yard the size of a small park. While everything cost much less back then, we still appreciated the bargain price of our first home which left us with enough income to live a middle class life. 

Today’s young people are finding it much more difficult to find a place to live that does not stretch their budgets to a breaking point. In some parts of the country the housing prospects are even more dire due to a lack of available places to purchase. It is slowly becoming a kind of crisis as salaries don’t keep pace with rent or the purchase price of a home. Everywhere our youngest workers are wondering if they will ever be able to find a reasonable place to call their own. 

Back in 2005, my husband and I sold our first home with an incredible profit. We were able to trade up to a bigger house in a very nice neighborhood for not much more than the sale price of our old home. Today both our original home and the new one are valued at twice their worth in 2005. Our first house is valued at more than ten times what we first paid for it, while the income of those just starting out in their twenties is not equal to ten times what my husband and I had way back when we became proud purchasers of a house. 

The cost of living in Texas is definitely less than in many parts of the United States, but of late finding and affording decent housing has become a challenge for young adults even in the Lone Star state. It is estimated that someone earning the minimum wage of $7.50 in Texas would have to work three jobs just to afford a decent rental with one bedroom. Of course most individuals manage to gain skills or degrees to increase their earning capacity, but even those salaries can fall short of the needed funds to keep up with the inflationary costs of everyday necessities. 

In a city like Houston having a car is a must. That entails insurance, gasoline and maybe even payments for the vehicle. A one bedroom apartment can run over a thousand dollars a month or even more in a desirable location. Food, clothing, and student loans can stretch the income of someone with a bankable college major like computer engineering, so it is no doubt a challenge for anyone with less desired credentials. It takes a financial wizard to make ends meet and set aside savings for the future purchase of a home. 

I try to imagine what it must be like for someone in a place where homes are twice as expensive as comparable homes in the Houston area. Fulfilling the American dream of a house with a car is demanding two incomes and even then there may not be enough homes for sale to meet the demand. Cities and towns all over America are reporting housing shortages as our elder population lives much longer than they did even fifty years ago. They hold onto houses that they have owned for years. They pay a pittance in property taxes with homesteads. They have pensions and savings and few debts while young people are drowning in unbearably high costs for everything that they need just to get by. It is a situation that is forcing them to marry later and sometimes put off having families. 

My granddaughter is working for a small city government in Maine this summer. One of her projects is to research the housing crisis for the youngest wage earners. She has found that the problems in Maine mirror those in almost every state in the Union. The issues involve an imbalance between earning and costs as well as a shortage of housing that is available at any price. It is a trend that is growing but rarely mentioned until recently. 

A couple of summers ago my husband and I traveled to New Mexico in our trailer. While camping in an RV park I talked with a young man who worked in the office there. I mentioned how lovely the area was and opined that it would be a nice place to live. He quickly quashed my dreams, telling me that he was a thirty year old married man who worked two jobs along with his wife who also doubled up her working hours. Between the two of them housing was still unattainable so they paid his parents for a room in their house. They had been saving for years but the cost and availability of homes was so out of reach that they had never been able to finally get their own place or think about starting a family.

For decades there has always been an avenue for succeeding generations to do just a bit better than the ones that came before them. America was a place where families were able to own land and a house as long as they were willing to work hard like my grandfather did. Now that vision is vanishing for far too many young adults starting their careers and looking to their futures. Surely the housing issue is something that we must address much like the little town in Maine is attempting to do. In fairness to young people we need to be willing to find solutions and make it possible for them to fulfill the American dream of owning a home. 

it’s been a record summer for heat and I suppose that I am feeling cranky. I already have a condition that causes me to have flashes of extreme warmth flashing through my body even on wintery days. Adding one hundred degree temperatures to the mix does not help to keep me cool and calm. Since I like being outdoors the fact that I am stuck inside does little to alleviate my surliness as well. 

I’ve turned to reading to fill my time since travel is not on the agenda this year. I suppose that my mood is reflected in the choices of books that I are filling the hours of the long, slow days of summer. All of them seem to be political in nature, but then what is not pulled into the political spectrum these days?

I began with an optimistic memoir by Dan Rather and then turned to a biographic view of Jacqueline Bouvier before she married John Kennedy. The difference in the early lives of Jackie and Dan was striking. There was a certain irony that Dan’s childhood in Houston, Texas in a low income area of town was so much happier than Jackie’s life of wealth and opportunity. Parents really do make all the difference in a child’ life.

Off and on I have returned to a book about chemical dependency written by a minister with a long history of counseling people with addictions. It is essentially a critique of our nation’s idolatry of money, success, power, possessions, entertainment. In our quest for happiness we all too often turn to things when the real center of joy has to be found inside our very beings.

I thought of the contrast between the lives of Dan and Jackie while reading the advice from the good minister. Essentially we humans spend way too much time seeking things and pushing our feelings deeper and deeper inside our souls. We don’t really talk to each other the way Dan and his parents so obviously did. We do not share our feelings and attempt to understand those of the people around us who seem to be struggling. Our stiff upper lips and stoic natures keep us locked in toxic situations that steal our joy.

There is a great deal of talk these days about what it means to be “woke.” The reality is that wokeness is not a political stance as many attempt to claim. Instead it is a way of analyzing ourselves and the world around us. Done properly it teaches us that we are part of a daunting family history that does not have to remain the same. With truth and knowledge we have to power to become better versions of ourselves. To do so requires facing our weaknesses honestly. Doing so does not bring shame upon us, but rather helps us to change our bad habits and move forward. 

I have not yet begun the book about the two hundred seventy two slaves that were owned by Jesuit priests who had founded Georgetown University. I had grown up as a Catholic never imagining that religious people would have even thought of buying and selling humans for any reason whatsoever. It was a stunning revelation to learn that such was an absolute truth that points to our human tendencies to distort the parables and words of Jesus to fit our personal needs. Even priests are not immune to such frailties. Knowing what they have done over time in the pursuit of their mission of spreading the word of God is all too often heartbreaking, but because of my own weaknesses I know that I am not so sinless that I should begin casting stones. 

I am also reading a book that was written by a Jewish writer living in Germany when Hitler first came to power. It is a novel that follows the fate of a prominent family who owned a furniture store. it is not a book that I can continue reading for very long because I already know what is going to happen to them unlike those who read the book when it was written before and during the purge of Jews in Germany. Sometimes it becomes overwhelming to watch the slow demise of the once happy and too gullible characters marching so blindly to their doom.

I suppose that I analyze the world a bit too much. It is something that I have always done. My mother saw this trait in me and often opined that “ignorance is bliss.” I used to wish that I was more clueless and jovial. It seemed like an easier way to be, but then I would not have been a very good teacher. I would not have noticed students who were struggling and then felt compelled to help them. I have always needed to know more and more about the truth of the world. I have always tilted windmills and yelled that “the Emperor has no clothes.” It is a kind of self torture and self actualization at one and the same time. I watch and learn just as my mother often counseled me to do. I hunt for the truth, even within myself.

I think we would all do well to engage in soul searching and truth telling. Looking the other way when a stranger is lying injured on the side of a road is not how we are supposed to be. Plugging our ears when someone is attempting to explain who they are destroys the autonomy of all of us. We can’t live happily ever after in Cinderella’s castle in Disneyland. No trips or stimulants or possessions can make us whole. Only genuinely taking the time to understand ourselves and our histories can bring us together and help us to realize that in the end we all are equal and worthy regardless of where we live or how much wealth we own. There is no divine right that favors some and ignores others. Our role should be to first heal ourselves and then give that glory to anyone anywhere who is suffering. It’s our challenge in the heat of this summer.

I got a call from a friend of a friend of a friend that sounded like a great opportunity. It was shortly after my husband, Mike, had been declared free from blastomycosis and ready to return to work after a many months of absence getting chemotherapy. So much had happened that I needed to put my longing to return to college on hold once again. Still, I needed something more in my life and I had asked my friends to be on the lookout for any opportunities that I might try. Thus came the call that brightened my world. 

A local woman had put together a little pre-school program that was housed in the classrooms of a nearby church. She called it “Do and Learn Preschool.” It was a year long program for three and four year olds that took place on Tuesdays and Thursdays. One of her regular teachers had suddenly bowed out leaving her in a scramble to find a replacement before the new school year began. The call that I received was from a stranger who had heard that I was an almost degreed teacher. She provided me with information about the school and urged me to call its director. Uncharacteristically I did not hesitate.

My interview for the job was serious business. I had to bring a transcript of my classes and grades and a resume of any kind of work I had done. The director presented me with some pointed questions that demonstrated her intent to find someone who might be able and willing to maintain the quality of her school. At the conclusion of the discussion I was not so sure that I would land the job, but a few days later I was overjoyed to be employed as a teacher of four year olds. An additional perk was that Catherine would be a member of the three year old cadre. Best of all the school was only about three minutes away from our home. 

Planning meetings with the director were intense. She was quite serious about offering a high quality program that included regular lesson planning meetings and a structured curriculum. It would be incredibly important real world practice for my future and might even help me to hone in on the area of education that might be most appealing to me. It also involved a great deal of work outside of the classroom hours, a precursor to the realities of being a teacher. I threw my enthusiasm and skills into what I was doing with my entire heart and soul. It was incredibly fun and also helped a tiny bit with the payments for Mike’s medical care that were not covered by or insurance. I saw the job as a kind of godsend. 

In the meantime Pat had graduated from the University of Houston and was once again announcing his intent to apply for training with the City of Houston Fire Academy. He was also dating a beautiful young girl who lived just down the street from our childhood home. Her name was Kelly and Pat was totally smitten with her. We all saw that things were moving rather fast for him as he settled down into pursuit of the future he had always imagined. 

Mama’s family was growing at the same time that her home was becoming empty. My brothers and I were all involved in traveling down our own adult pathways. Even though our mother had a career that she really enjoyed, the direction and meaning of her life had changed dramatically. She had done a phenomenal job of guiding us to adulthood, but the prospect of being alone after so many years of serving as the center and guiding force of the family was bearing down on her. It became a constant topic of discussion between her and her doctor. Luckily she had two granddaughters on whom to focus her doting attention and there was good news that Becky and Michael would soon give her another grandchild to love. 

Time has a way of accelerating to the point where one month then one year begins to bleed into another. I literally began to lose track of the months and years as I threw myself into my teaching job and being a mom to my two girls. I was enjoying life and loving that my mothers and brothers seemed to also be doing so well. Mike was healthy and we were surrounded by good friends with whom we constantly celebrated life. Our weekends were filled with invitations that kept us quite happy. It was a moment in life that was filled with so much promise. Our cousins and our friends were finding love and having children just like we were. 

The seventies were a time for growing up, finding the compass of our lives. They were often bumpy, even a bit scary, but by nineteen seventy nine we were knew exactly where we wanted to go and how to get there. In July Mike and Becky’s daughter, Kim, was born, a beautiful child who would prove to be incredibly bright and sweet. In October, Pat and Kelly were married in the same church where Mike and I had pledge our love and devotion eleven years earlier. Joy was literally oozing out of our pores. 

I saw that or mother had done a remarkable job of being both mother and father to us, often with an impossibly low income. She had taught us what was most important in life and encouraged us to be the individuals we wanted to be. We knew how deeply she loved and devoted herself to us. Now it was time for each of us to pass down the beautiful lessons we had learned from her. We were each creating our own brand new circles of love concentric with the one in the center of our family that Mama had begun over thirty years before and that she would continue to maintain for the entirety of her life.  

My brother, Michael, was always considered the brilliant sibling. From the time he was a child his mathematical acumen was stunning. None of us were surprised when he graduated at the top of his high school class. When he was accepted at Rice University, one of the premier colleges in the country, we knew that he was on his way to fulfilling his dreams. After earning both an undergraduate and Master’s degree in Electrical Engineering he was courted by many companies but ultimately chose work with a NASA contractor to fulfill his childhood imaginings of being part of humankind’s journey into space. 

It was through his work that Michael met Becky Liu, a beautiful engineer originally from Taiwan. He knew her name from meetings and had only briefly spoken with her, but he wanted to get to know her better. One weekend he decided to call her. The only problem was that there were many Liu’s in the Houston phone book, and none of them were listed under the name Becky. He began his quest by calling each number on the list and asking if he might speak with Becky. It was a daunting task but he was determined to find her. After many attempts he finally reached someone who said that Becky was actually visiting his home. He would get her to talk to Michael. 

The rest was a beautiful story. The two of them clicked almost immediately. They were like a set of bookends that went together perfectly. Michael was somewhat shy and introverted while Becky was outgoing. Both were academically gifted but also enjoyed camping, hiking and being outdoors. They loved music and live performances of the symphony and opera company. It did not take long for them to fall in love. It was amazing how their two different cultures were so wonderfully enmeshed. 

Becky asked Maryellen and Catherine to be part of the wedding party. They were quite excited about the lovely yellow dresses that they would wear. Pat was going to be Michael’s best man and Mama was elated that Michael had found so much happiness. We all had roles in the wedding party so Mike was to be one of the groomsmen as well. Even though he looked like a skeleton he eagerly donned the formal wear and was quite happy to be doing something besides getting stuck with needles and enduring hours of infusing drugs into his body. Best of all I would finally officially have a sister. In fact, I would even be able to share her siblings as family. It was a glorious moment for all of us. 

The wedding was perfection, a meeting of east and west with great love. Becky looked like a princess and Michael was beside himself with happiness. The celebration at the reception was like the world’s best party. Becky was particularly respectful and effusive with Mama. The two of them got along so well. After a honeymoon in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado the happy couple settled down in a sweet house near NASA and all of our lives changed in a positive direction.

Mike was soon declared cured of his fungal disease. There would be no more hospital visits or infusions so we were more than glad to get back to normal or what we hoped would be normal. Sadly Mama had another episode of severe depression with some paranoid psychosis not long after. I had to finally face the probability that her illness was chronic and that her fate would be to battle its symptoms over and over again. This time she was not nearly as sick as in the beginning, but she did require regular visits for psychiatric care. Her doctor also requested that she stay in my home until she was better. He advised me to mostly allow her to rest, but to gradually increase her responsibilities so that she would ultimately be ready to return home and to work.

It was nice having her living with us for a time. She enjoyed cooking and playing with her granddaughters. She liked her doctor and promised to follow his directives. Her recovery was fairly quick so we all celebrated at Thanksgiving with our growing family and the assurance that Mama now had a plan for keeping her illness at bay. It was also great to see Mike regaining his own glow of health and to know that he was no longer in danger. We had weathered more storms and felt confident that we had learned how to endure any challenge that might come our way. 

With the dawn of nineteen seventy eight I was more assured myself than ever. I had conquered my fears and learned that I was capable of overcoming any challenge that might come my way. Better yet I realized once again how important family and friends were in centering and supporting me. I knew that some would only be there for a certain time and others would follow along with me for all of my days. I would never be alone and my family was bigger than ever.