Wow! My father would have been one hundred years old last Saturday if he had lived instead of dying at the age of thirty three. Of course there is no reason to believe that he would have made it this far since he had a tendency to be a bit too daring and had more than one scrape with broken bones. Nonetheless his father lived to the ripe old age of one hundred eight and there was quite a streak of longevity among his ancestors. He just might have managed to witness some of the inventiveness of humankind that he had predicted would happen. I suspect that he would have enjoyed that, but a the same time I’ve never been one for “what ifs.” Things happen and we have to adjust to our realities in spite of how difficult that sometimes is. Still, I would have liked for my husband and my daughters and maybe even my grandchildren to have talked with him if only for an hour or so. 

We are all formed by people that we have never met. Their DNA resides within us. Their intellect and philosophies get passed down to us in small but meaningful ways. We all belong to a long and complicated strand of the past that shapes so much more than just the color of our eyes or the texture of our hair. We are the culmination of centuries and the purveyors of future generations. I like to think that some of my past features are already percolating in my grandchildren and will one day be evident in some person whom I will never meet.

Have you ever seen those striking photos of a young adult next to a photo or painting of a relative from many generations past? The nuances of similarity are strikingly uncanny. It is as though the individual from long ago has come alive in the modern world. We have such a family portrait in our home that features my husband Mike’s great great grandfather, great grandfather and a gathering of children one of whom bears an uncanny resemblance to my grandson, Ian. It appears to have been taken in Newcastle, Great Britain in the first decade of the twentieth century. If not for their dated clothing I would have actually believed that Ian was in the picture.

Everyone agrees that my brother, Pat, his son, Shawn, and my grandson, Andrew, look very much like my father. Since Shawn’s son, Lex, looks almost identical to his grandfather, Pat, at the same young age, it is a fair bet to assume that we have an idea of how my dad looked as a little boy even though we have no photos of him until he was in junior high. Some even say that I look more like my father than my mother, but it depends on which side of the family is studying my profile. If our physical characteristics can so clearly link us to our ancestors, just imagine how many unseen traits we carry. It is absolutely mind boggling. 

We already know that we may now connect ourselves to people we have never met simply by comparing our DNA to theirs. Often when we do, we find that the “perfect strangers” like the same kinds of things that we enjoy. They may even have identical idiosyncrasies. I marvel at the science that has demonstrated our interrelatedness, but even more at the phenomenon of similarities that have traveled down through the years. I like to think that even though my father has been gone for sixty seven of his “would have been” birthdays he is still alive and having an impact on the world through those of us who came after him and carry his traits. 

I know that Jack Little has been one of the strongest driving forces in my life, but I also marvel at how much my grandson, Andrew, is like him not just in appearance but temperament. The mix of other influences makes Andrew a bit different from my father, but there are times when I am talking with him that I catch glimpses of the same kind of intensity that Daddy felt for the people that he loved. 

I do not believe that our destinies are predetermined. Nor do I adhere to the philosophy that things happen for a reason. It would be difficult to accept that a divine being would be so cruel as to teach us lessons with the deaths of loved ones, serious illnesses, or wars. I think that we simply encounter random situations and it is in how we respond to them that the nature of our inheritances become surprisingly clear. All of the wisdom and DNA passed down through the ages influences our thinking and our beliefs. I already catch glimpses of long gone loved ones in the actions of the youngest members of our extended family. 

When answering the question of whom, living or dead, I would like to invite to dinner I never fail to include my father in the grouping. In fact I would prefer to just be alone with him on a bench overlooking the ocean. I’d like to share with him how much I have always loved him and how he guided the trajectory of my life even after he was gone. Then I would give him time to share his reactions to all that has happened since he left this earth. I suppose that everyone has a person or two that they would very much like to see just one more time. Instead I’ll just say Happy One Hundredth Birthday to my Daddy in heaven and tell him how much his influence lives on. Who could ask for any more wonderful gift than to know that we matter and always will!