Lately I keep encountering stories about “highly sensitive people.” They describers persons who are hyper connected to the sensory aspects of being human. Being a highly sensitive person can be both a phenomenal way of viewing the world and an exhausting way of connecting with sights, sounds and people at one and the same time.
Highly sensitive people react more deeply to sounds, lights and other sensory phenomena. They are often moved deeply by music and paintings, sometimes to the point of becoming highly emotional. They might cry over a great work of art or think about the implications of words long after encountering a passage in a book. They are also the kind of people who are able to look into the souls of the people they encounter. They have an uncanny ability to know when someone is feeling uncomfortable or sad or anxious. They are often more than willing to stop whatever they are doing to console those that they perceive to be hurting. They make wonderful teachers and counselors because of the compassion that is so much a part of their makeup.
On the other hand, activities that are fun and exciting for most people can be physically and psychologically draining for highly sensitive people. They can endure loud music and strobing lights for only so long before they have to leave. They will attend big parties but are often the first to retire for the night. They literally have to be alone after too much immersion into sights, sounds, chaos. They get anxious when forced to perform too many tasks at once or when their routines are changed without warning. Most of them have a quiet place where they go to heal from too much stimulation.
Psychologists use the abbreviation HSP to denote those who demonstrate the characteristics of highly sensitive people. As with anything there is a continuum of just how sensitive these people are. Some only exhibit a few traits and others are almost always feeling stressed by the demands of being so attuned to sights, sounds, smells, tastes and even the texture of things. The vast majority of those who are HSP are also introverts and many are often made to feel weird because of their needs to turn off the constantly running reactions that are an integral part of their interaction with the environment.
As long as those who are HSP are fee to recharge their batteries they tend to be some of the most empathetic people they anyone encounters. They really do see and hear the people they are with. They are the artists and philosophers who continually think about issues and how to confront them.
As I read about this interesting group of people I could not resist noting the similarities between me and highly sensitive people. I have always felt deep connections between both the people that I know and complete strangers. I can simply pass by someone and feel that I know what they are thinking just from body language and facial expressions. I do indeed notice when someone is struggling. My awareness of the pulse of my classroom served me well as a teacher. I was able to literally see and feel pain and suffering among my students and my fellow teachers. I never quite understood why there were times when nobody else was able to be as observant as I was. I thought that everyone felt things as deeply as I do, but learned that some actually think that I am strange and even a bit naive or silly because of the deep level of my empathy. I’m that person who cries in a movie theater or becomes breathless at a concert.
I have always preferred a quiet mountain retreat hidden in the woods to a sojourn at the beach. I love to dance, eat good food and drink wine with friends, but always become Cinderella needing to leave before midnight. Then I want to spend time in the quiet on the following day.
Many members of my family are like me as well. I’d say that it was product of our DNA but for the fact that some of those people married into our family. I have a nephew who in an incredible cook and a dynamic interior designer. He has been an actor as well. Nonetheless he eschews the big family parties, preferring instead to have small dinners with no more than four guests. He also has an uncanny ability to know when someone needs to have his friendly ear. Many times he has called me when I was feeling blue. It is as though he possesses some special form of ESP.
Both of my daughters tend to find quiet rooms at raucous parties. They are literally exhausted by noise and too many people talking at once. Now I know that there is nothing wrong with any of us. We are simply different from the average soul. Our minds are filled with deep thoughts. We think everyone wants to solve the problems of the world. It’s okay with us if they don’t because we are busy attempting to make the world a calm and happy place that accepts everyone.
I suppose that each of us has felt a bit different from others from time to time. It’s really difficult not to think that we are somehow defective when we fall into a category of people who only represent a small slice of humanity. It’s good to know that i’m okay and you are okay. Each one of is simply our own special kind of persons with traits meant to serve society in a special way. We need those who quietly contemplate and those who make the world fun with their joyful sounds. We are all quite wonderful.
All It Takes Is A Little Love 