I have led a very busy life, even after retirement I have continued to teach young people and mentor some of my former students. I keep quite busy continuing to learn, even to the point of investing in continuing education classes at Rice University. I read constantly and try to keep up with local, state, national and world events. I don’t consider myself to be a radical of any kind and I have always believed that I was a fairly good observer of human nature. In my work life I had a pulse on both my students and my fellow teachers. Somehow over the last decade or so I seem to have missed realizing the power of the MAGA movement. Furthermore I am totally confused by the ardor of those who support it. In my mind it is a frenzy led by ethically dubious political hacks, and yet instead of fading away the movement only appears to have gained steam. 

I have watched a man who shows no signs of ever attending church become an icon of evangelistic adoration. In the meantime a man who attends mass weekly and prays daily is often portrayed as an agent of the devil. I have no doubt that our former president encouraged his followers and his fellow Republicans to overturn the election of 2020. The attempted coup of January 6, 2021 was one of the most shocking events of my lifetime. I was certain that every patriotic American would turn on the people who helped to create the furor and treason of that moment, but instead large swaths of citizens have turned on the victims of that melee rather than the perpetrators. All of which has left me dumbfounded. 

Way back in 2016, I had a friend predict much of what has happened. I pushed back on what I saw as his hysterical hyperbole. I argued with him that the American people would never stand for the kinds of things that he predicted would happen. Since our discussions I have had to apologize to him again and again as I have watched the unbelievable happen in our country. Now I have come to believe that there is nothing that is off of the table with the power hungry elements of today’s Republican party. They make Richard Nixon appear to be an altar boy and Eagle Scout all rolled up in one. Why Donald Trump is still holding rallies and still considered the leading candidate for the Republican nomination for the presidency is beyond my ability to grasp. 

I understand that there are people who are hurting who see Trump as a someone who actually hears their pleas for help, but to me supporting him amounts to being the same as suggesting that Al Capone would have made a great president. It feels as though the sense of honor and respect and decorum that a president should possess is being set aside. Instead of ostracizing Trump for the crimes that I have witnessed, he is lionized by a large majority of the Republican party and even those who dislike him are afraid to speak out. They simply retire from public office or whisper in private but are unwilling to challenge a man that they surely must despise. 

I often wondered how evil individuals managed to rise to power and somehow I feel that I am watching that happen in our country right now. It is indeed frightening to me that any person or group can be so adept at spreading fear and alterations of the truth. The fact that so little of that is being questioned tells me how desperate people can befin to hear what they want to hear, not what is actually being said and done. 

At the moment we seem to be regressing into a longing for a time that no longer exists and actually should never exist again. We have moved to a better time than the days of my youth but too many want to take us back to the era when women had little or no voice and gays and lesbians were derided and forced to live in fear. Some of us may have felt just fine in the nineteen fifties, but Blacks and other minorities were pushed out of our sight, hidden and shunned. Seeing the light and being more just has been a good thing, not something that we should fear or condemn. The progress of moving toward living together in harmony was right and fair. We cannot allow despots to use fear and anger to set back the years of progress that we have made in understanding and accepting one another. 

I’ve revealed much about my life. It has been riddled with tragedies and losses and many challenges. I have not become wealthy because I chose to be a teacher, a career of service to my fellow humans. I have dealt with the same kinds of difficulties as almost anyone else, but I have never blamed my troubles on others. I have not lost anything by integrating our society, sharing my good fortune with those who have less, embracing same sex marriage or welcoming immigrants to our country. In fact I am so much better. The scales on my eyes have been removed as surely as if I had once had cataracts. I see so clearly how the diversity of race, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, religious beliefs have made life so much more beautiful than in the days when I rarely had opportunities to interact with anyone who was not mostly just like me. Going back is a profoundly horrid idea, especially if it is led by an individual or party who is unwilling to admit to their transgressions in the pursuit of power. 

I suspect that one day this time will be judged rather poorly by history. In the future people will wonder how we allowed things to get so out of control. I wish I knew how to stall the backward regression that seems to be barreling back to a darker time. All I can do is use my voice while I still can. After all, Trump has promised retribution for those who have not supported him. I used to believe that he would never bother to come after insignificant people like me. Now I am not so sure. Things are already so unbelievably out of control that anything might happen. It is a frightening and confusing time.