We all know someone who draws our admiration like a beautiful flower whenever he or she enters a room. Often if we are totally objective we see that person as someone with rather ordinary looks who has somehow transformed themselves. They become pleasant to both see and be around. It is as though that individual has been able to transcend all of the worries and flaws that plague most of us and look outward to the needs of the people outside of themselves.
We all encounter bad situations in our lives. Sometimes our problems become chronic and threaten to steal our joy. We begin to second guess ourselves, wonder if we are to blame for all of our troubles. We play mind games that sap our energy and cause us to only see the mistakes we have made, the failures we have endured, We look in the mirror and see an anxious, weary unattractive person. We compare ourselves to others who appear to live in a chronic state of happiness and good fortune. We become our own worst enemies with our pessimism and self accusations.
The key to those beautiful souls who seem to embody all of the positive characteristics that we so desire is often a spirt of optimism and self love. They have learned the art of forgiving themselves for life’s mistakes. They literally begin each day with uplifting meditations that may include reading, journaling, praying or even just repeating a few compliments or encouragements to themselves.
I have a long time friend who has endured more than her fair share of tragedy and suffering but somehow she always makes it through such dark moments. She has a habit of keeping sticky notes nearby and jotting down inspiring quotes, prayers or self affirmations that she posts on the medicine cabinet in her bathroom. They are the first thing she sees each morning and by re-reading them she adjusts her attitude into the positive realm. Even though she has them memorized she keeps them visible lest she forget to message herself with encouragement every single day.
She is not always a burst of sunshine. Sometimes she cries and wonders aloud why her life has been so tough, but most days she is able to look past the negative and set a smile in her heart that radiates from her face. She is almost childlike in her innocent and nonjudgemental embrace of every person she encounters. In making them feel better, she uplifts herself. Those little scraps of paper are her secret weapon over all of the disturbances that constantly push their way into her world.
We know our inner selves better than anyone. We all have felt fear and anger and jealousy at one time or another. We soon learn that those kind of emotions are real but also destructive to our wellbeing. They cause us to question every aspect of our existence. They create a never ending circle of negativity unless we do something to break the cycle. The key is to begin the process of deliberately looking for the good that we have done. Self affirmation is not about being a narcissist, but about loving and understanding ourselves. A positive outlook about who we are helps us to move toward improvements in those areas that might need some adjustment. Constantly berating ourselves for past deeds that we cannot change is destructive. Self affirmation builds better character.
Every single person in the world is searching for meaning, wondering why he or she is in a certain place. We want our lives to have impact and we attempt to find our talents and develop them but that is not always as easy a task as it might sound. We are constantly interrupted by global events, problems at work, family crises, personal tragedies. Our efforts get sidetracked. We ignore our own needs in the hectic pace of living. We begin to dwell on everything that feels wrong about us even second guessing our relationships with others. We forget to exercise our minds with affirmations that make us stronger even in times of crisis.
Self affirmations can be as simple as looking in the mirror, smiling and saying, “I like you!” They can be reminders that we all make mistakes. They might include meditations in which we inspire ourselves to try, try again. Each person knows what personal aspects of their being is wonderful and what needs some repair. Focusing first on what is good provides the impetus to improve. A caveat should always be that in the history of the world no human has ever been perfect, so we have to learn to forgive the mistakes that we are bound to make.
As far as we know there is no time travel that would allow us to go back in time to change a moment that did not work out well. It’s up to each of us to somehow move beyond the messes that we have already made. We can learn from them and change from them even as it will be okay to grieve them as long as we do not remain in a rut that leads to self loathing. Be that person who always seems to be the light in the room. Embrace yourself and all that is good about you. Remind yourself what those things are every single day. Then greet the world with the love that begins in your own heart. Those positive thoughts really do make things better.
All It Takes Is A Little Love 