There was a time when my brothers and I frequently gathered together for family birthdays and special holidays. Back then the celebrations included the three of us and our spouses and children. Since our numbers were somewhat small and comprised mostly of people who understood our quirks we were able to engage in lively discussions of just about any topic with no holds barred. It was great fun to debate everything from politics to evolution with the kind of fervor and open mindedness that always left us thinking about what we had heard. Often we studied the topics a bit more to ready ourselves for the next round of discourse.
The family has grown so much that it has become more and more difficult to engage everyone all at once in such an exchange of views. Now we are more likely to separate into smaller groups to discuss the hot topics of the moment. Moving around the room attempting to find a good parlay is so much more difficult and not nearly as much fun or as enlightening as our former discourse.
I suppose that our earlier family tradition lead me to be quite open about my personal views, but also more than happy to respectfully listen to ideas counter to my own. I find it exciting to hear conflicting theories about history and how to live. I enjoy the vibrancy of being with people who don’t mind honestly striving to make sense of the world in which we live. I rarely left those wonderful meetings with rancor. Instead I found it exhilarating to consider possibilities that had never before occurred to me.
Because of the intellectual integrity of our family discussions and the truths that emerged from them, I have to admit to being dumbfounded by those who find rhetorical battles to be intimidating. I seriously do not understand why hearing ideas that challenge our thinking can be so frightening for some people. I suppose that the most exciting moments of my life have been those when I learned about how things really worked or happened. It has never made me feel angry or guilty to gain deeper knowledge about controversial issues. I am a realist when it comes to human behavior. I understand quite well that we have different temperaments, cultures, backgrounds that influence how we act in the world. I find it fascinating to hear about the differing ways that humans have faced the challenges of existence. Sometimes that has meant that they made grave mistakes. Hiding those things only insures that we will not learn from the horrors of their past tragedies.
My daughter and her family recently returned from a trip to Europe that included a visit to the site of the Dachau interment camp. She felt that it was important to face the horrors that happened there rather than to look away and just have fun. She was deeply moved by what she saw and impressed by the willingness of Germany to be brutally honest about this egregious stain on its history. The words “never again” resonated through every exhibit that outlined the brutality of a time when all but the Nazi version of reality was quashed. What happened at Dachau demonstrates what happens when truth becomes twisted and propagandized.
As a long time educator and student I have seen firsthand the relief that comes from learning true stories about our world, not sugar coated ones. I have appreciated teachers who provided difficult lessons that encouraged me to realign my thinking. I have felt freed by honesty and so I have attempted to model that kind of behavior with my children and my students. They tell me that they feel stronger and more confident when they know that I will not lie to them even by omission of the facts. We have engaged in hard conversations and at every turn it has solidified our respect for one another.
Reality does bite at times. Inconvenient and uncomfortable truths force us to open our minds to possibilities that may never have otherwise occurred to us. Learning is sometimes uncomfortable just as real life is challenging. We can take vacations from the day to day stresses but ultimately we always have to return to the hard work and difficulties that follow everyone. If we take the lessons from the past and use them to alter our own behaviors to avoid the same pitfalls we are much more likely to find success and even happiness. Being able to trust that what we are being told has some basis in fact rather than fantasy is a gift to be treasured.
We humans are often cruel and devious but more times than not we are good and willing to change our ways for the betterment of those around us. We should be wary of those who want to ban us from learning unvarnished versions of reality. Attempting to protect our feelings by hiding the truth or by creating fears with lies is a tactic for controlling us. Ultimately such efforts always fail because it is in our natures to want to be able to trust that what we are hearing and learning is not a fairytale. Beauty is truth and truth is beauty. Beware of anyone attempting to alter facts, even those that are difficult to hear. They are not protecting us. They are dominating us.
All It Takes Is A Little Love 