Yesterday was Mother’s Day and I found myself thinking about my mother and grandmothers as I often do. All three women led unbelievably difficult lives but they were strong and resourceful and loving in spite of the the many tragedies and difficulties that beset them. I count them among the saints and angels in heaven. They were good women devoted to family who asked for little for themselves. They were the kind of ladies who would skip a meal to feed a family member, stay awake all night to nurse a sick child. They had few possessions but they never complained. Instead they celebrated what they saw as their good fortune.
You have often read the stories about the three women who most impacted my life but today it is time to move forward not just to the present but to the future. I want to talk about my two daughters, Maryellen and Catherine, who are consummate mothers in the modern sense of that word. Both of them are college educated, well read, and attuned to today’s technology and political environment. Much like my mother and grandmother’s they have focused their time and talents on their children, my seven grandchildren. From the time that those young men and one woman were babies Maryellen and Catherine went full throttle nurture, reading to them, taking them to museums, musical events, and watching them learn to swim, play soccer, run track and cultivate their artistic and acting talents.
My daughters’ mothering days began early and their nights went late. They encouraged their young ones to develop their talents and their personal identities. They served as tutors when the kids were little and hired tutors when they grew older. They were always teaching their children something new, explaining how things work, how we humans act and create. Their little ones were naming the planets and their moons before they had even entered kindergarten They travelled to exciting places where they learned to cherish nature and how to live frugally. They all grew strong and bright and filled with kindness and compassion because they knew that they were valued and loved by their mothers. They worked hard and excelled because their mothers helped them to develop themselves and fulfill their dreams.
Now all of my grandchildren are adults, each a bit different than the other. Two have graduated from college with engineering degrees. Four are moving into their junior and senior years of college with majors in political science, communications, aerospace engineering, and accounting. The young one will embark on his college journey in the fall majoring in computer science. They are a sweet and loving bunch who care deeply about the political issues of the day. They revere nature and understand that we humans must change if we are to continue to thrive and survive. They are thinkers and activists who live according to their deepest beliefs. Their mothers have taught them to be good citizens who take time to speak out for those who are underserved. They represent the very best kind of hope for the future of this fragile planet on which we live.
Sometimes I look and my daughters and wonder how they became so strong, so thoughtful, so willing to sacrifice like my mother and grandmothers did. I marvel at the many hours that they have devoted to their children, the hard work that they have done to provide them with a place to call home no matter how old they may become. I watched them giving of themselves over and over again not with things but with experiences. All seven of my grandchildren have always known unconditional love.
Every human knows in our hearts how important mothers are and yet all too often we underestimate the influence of mothers on their children. It is in the simplest of moments that they shine the most. It’s when they sit in the hot sun tallying scores at a swim meet or spend an evening mending a broken heart. It is when they drive two thousand miles to minister to a child in need or check texts every morning to be sure that everything is okay. It is ib mostly listening without offering unwanted advice, giving better hugs than it seems possible to exist.
I learned how to be a mother from three special women. I never felt that I filled their shoes. Perhaps this is the way all mothers are. We wonder if we have given enough or if our efforts were too much. We analyze every interaction and think of ways that we might have said or done things better. All we can really do is hope that somehow the message that we most want our children to know is as clear as it needs to be. We love them with all our souls. We think of them every hour of the day and night. We help them fly away from our nest but they are never far from our hearts. Being a mother is at once the most difficult and the most rewarding role we women ever have the honor to fill.
I hope everyone had a happy Mother’s Day! I know some of you without children are nonetheless like mothers to people that you have encountered. Know that each of you is cherished by someone who knows that he or she owes so much to you. Smile in knowing how important you are and enjoy a special moment. You have earned the joy! Each of you have awed me.
All It Takes Is A Little Love 