I love the settled nature of my neighborhood and the routines that repeat themselves day after day, season after season, and year after year. The familiar is a soothing contrast to the uncertainties of the world, but I have learned that constancy is rarely life long. Instead changes are constantly occurring all around us. Some are life changing and others simply push us forward on the pathway of progress. Often the variances in our lives are difficult, especially when they come in the form of loss. We are constantly challenged to adapt to the realities of the personal and more universal events that make it almost impossible to simply carry on the way we always have.
Some among us actually thrive on the adventure of change. Others constantly look back over their shoulders hoping to retrieve the lives that they once had. Fortunately most of the revisions in our lives happen so slowly that we barely notice the evolution of our ways of living. The cycle of life is often both linear and circular, inching forward and repeating history as we all simply do our best to tackle whatever life throws at us. How we will respond to tragedies or just the everyday matters of surviving one more day is often determined by the models that we have used to structure our lives.
I spent the first eight years of my life moving from place to place. My father had grown up being a rolling stone as his own father took the family from town to town while he worked on constructing buildings. For my daddy, moving was an exciting adventure that allowed him to see the country and its people. For me it was an uprooting from family and friends. I never really adapted to the cultural differences that I encountered as we lived like vagabonds who got infected with wanderlust almost as soon as we had established ourselves in a new place. I found it taxing to reintroduce myself again and again and longed for the comfort of staying put.
Sadly I got my wish when my father died and my mother moved us back to one of the neighborhoods where we had once lived. We quickly rebuilt our relationships with friends there and with our extended family. While it felt more comforting to me than constantly moving I missed my father and often imagined that I would have a much better attitude about moving around with him if only I might get him back. The important lesson that I learned with his death is how fragile our lives and our customs actually are. Life can be turned upside down in an instant and most of us will experience such daunting events all too often in a lifetime.
The proper response to the vagaries of living seems to be to find joy in each moment while understanding that the very people that we cherish and ways of doing things may change. The only real constant in the equations of life all lie inside of ourselves. We all experience loss and tragedy and feelings of being unmoored. Sometimes such times are so distressing that we seem to lose our way and with a world of media all around us it can feel as though everyone else is having a good time while we suffer.
The truth is that we can’t always get exactly what we want, but we can adjust to celebrating what we have and then regroup to create a new path for our dreams. In the process we will no doubt find ourselves in new situations with new people, and if we are patient enough, we may no learn to embrace and enjoy them as much as we did the old. The happiest people are not free from times of sorrow, but they learn how to grieve for a time and then get back into the world as it is even when they are frightened to do so. Along the way they may find new allies, new and unexpected joys, adventures that they may have never before dared to discover.
The complexity of life is with us all and always has been in the history of humankind. No matter whether we are kings or part of the faceless crowd each of us experiences victories and disappointments. Nobody gets through this world without change. Each new day holds both wonderful possibilities and potential dangers. We would do well to seize the moments of joy with gratitude and remembrance. They will be of great comfort when difficulties come our way.
When I look back on my childhood I remember my father dreaming big. He loved moving about, going where the work was interesting and the world was progressing. He was not ready to put down roots when there was still so much more to experience. Even though his life was cut short he had crammed so much into it that he could not be said to have wasted even a single minute. Somehow I now realize how wonderful it was to accompany him on his journey and to learn how to find the beauty in every place and person that we encounter. I chide myself for not realizing this simple idea until I looked back and saw what a wonderful adventure he planned for our family.
Embrace each day. Use the past only for inspiration and understanding, not in longing. May the memories of your life be a blessing and may the remainder of your life be open to the newness that will surely come. Change is sometimes exciting and sometimes scary. Know that you have come this far and will know doubt have what it takes to complete the journey. If you look around you will find people just waiting to walk with you for part of the way or to the very end.
All It Takes Is A Little Love 