Day: June 13, 2024

There were times when students that I loved did bad things. It was always difficult to mete out the punishments that they had earned. I hated their thoughtless choices, behavior that was wrong, but I never hated them. I continued to love them and encourage them to start anew to attempt to be better. 

I remember one of my favorite students stealing laptops computers from the school. He was expelled for his actions. As he waited for his mother to pick him up and take him home he sat in an anteroom sobbing. When I went to talk with him he exclaimed with red eyes that he knew that I could no longer think well of him or like him. He was shocked when I told him that I disliked what he had done and agreed that he had to be disciplined, but that I would never stop caring for him. I expressed my hope that somehow he would be able to learn from what had happened and make changes in his life that would help him to follow a pathway of honesty. I hugged him and wished him well with tears in my own eyes. 

A few years later I saw this young man once again at his brother’s graduation. He was smiling and rushed over to give me a hug. He told me that he had worked hard to undo the harm he had done to others. He went to counseling and concentrated more on his schooling. He even got a job to earn the funds that he had once attempted to garner illegal by theft. His mother and brother were as proud of him as I was. He had paid for his crime and was ready to move on and live a good life. 

Each of us has no doubt encountered a situation in which someone for whom we care is found to be guilty of behaviors that appall us. For some it may be addiction to drugs or alcohol or both. For others it may be theft or physical violence. It hurts to know of their deception and criminal actions. We may never be able to forgive them for what they have done, but if they are our child it is difficult to turn away completely. It is normal to feel the bond of love and the abhorrence of their actions at one and the same time.

We have a President who has led a life filled with tragedy. His first wife died in a car accident along with his daughter. As someone who lost a parent when I was eight I know the emotional rollercoaster that overtakes the emotions. I have lived the depression and uncertainty of a child feeling so suddenly unmoored. I somehow made it through the darkness and found the light but I have seen many students whose lives were overturned with the loss of a parent. They went from happy children to morose and tortured souls who sometimes struck out at the world in their confusion. I suspect that Hunter Biden is one of those souls. His response to the trauma was to rely on drugs, to shatter his own life those around him hoping to kill the pain. 

I do not condone all that Hunter Biden has done, but I believe that I understand some of the impetus for his out of control lifestyle. He obviously hit rock bottom and hurt lots of people before he was able to pull himself out of the pit he had created. He has managed to get sober and remain there even though he would certainly know that each day has the potential to toss him back into the maelstrom.

Hunter’s father has no doubt spent many nights anxiously praying for his son, hoping that somehow he will change. He is certain to have asked himself if he is to blame for how Hunter became. This is what any loving parent does in such a situation. It is to the President’s credit that he has refused to give up on Hunter. He rightfully hates the bad things that Hunter has done but loves him with the deepest kind of love that parents have for their children, good or bad.

Hunter committed a crime when he purchased a gun under the influence of drugs. He lied on a document that everyone who makes such a purchase must sign. A jury has determined that Hunter is guilty of breaking the law and his father accepts the verdict even as he show his love for his prodigal son. This is what good parents do. 

There are people who are using this very personal family tragedy as a political cudgel. They are mocking the President for loving his ‘criminal” son. They seem not to understand that to do otherwise would demonstrate a lack of humanity. They hurl insults at Hunter and his entire family knowing that their darts might pierce his resolve to stay drug free. They show a total lack of sensitivity to a situation that would be heartbreaking to any parent who possesses an ounce of feeling. 

I think of my students who were saved when they learned that people cared about them in spite of their sins. I wonder how any of us can dare to judge a father who openly demonstrates his love for his son in spite of his transgressions. Most of us have witnessed similar situations in our own lives or in the families of people that we know. Such moments are always intensely difficult but there is always a small grain of hope as long as love prevails. I dislike what Hunter did and I agree that he must pay a price but then we should all cheer him if he continues to work to be a better man and we should respect our President for showing us how to love.

When my eldest daughter was at the University of Texas she sent me a CD that featured the singer, Celine Dion. I had never heard of the performer before that moment but I instantly fell in love with her and played the CD over and over again. From about 1990 forward I closely followed Celine’s meteoric career and found myself loving any song that she performed. 

I had often considered traveling to Las Vegas for the sole purpose of seeing Celine in person but I somehow never got there nor was I able to see her when she toured. Nonetheless I considered her to be one of the most incredible singers in the world. She had a range and a sensitivity for delivering lyrics that was magical. I imagined that I would still have time to one day witness one of her shows in person. Little did I know that Celine was harboring a secret that was terrifying her and would stun those of us who are her fans. 

It seems that Celine Dion was noticing troubling things about her voice and even her body particularly after a performance. She began to experience spasms in her limbs and her voice would sometimes be uncharacteristically raspy. She took Valium to calm the skittishness of her body, often more than once during a live show. She admits now that it was a dangerous tactic that might have killed her if she had continued. Eventually she would begin cancelling performances instead, using excuses like having a sinus infection or a virus of some kind. Before long her symptoms became so severe that she had to pull the plug on touring at all and she announced that she was resting for a time. 

It seems that Celine Dion had been diagnosed with Stiff Person Syndrome or SDS, a rare autoimmune disease that affects one or two people in a million. It is a neurological disorder that causes spasms of the limbs and even of the lungs. As her illness progressed, Celine was unable to sing as wonderfully as she once had. Her octaves were set in the high range with little power to propel them. She began to experience dangerous episodes in which she lost control of her body. She had to seek treatments and spend her days in physical therapy sessions. For now she is mostly homebound, fighting with all of her will to become strong enough to return to the occupation that she feels defines her. 

Recently I watched a documentary on Amazon Prime called I Am Celine Dion. It was admittedly difficult to watch because Celine did not attempt to sugar coat her experience with SPS. In fact she was quite honest about how difficult her journey has been and how lost she now feels because the singing that represents her very being is no longer possible. She misses the excitement of the crowd and the exuberance of hitting the right notes. She has been passionate about singing since she was a child and she does not mince words about how tragic this turn of events has been for her. 

During the filming Celine goes into a frightening total body spasm. Seeing her contorted face and limbs which she cannot control in those moments brought me to tears. I viscerally felt her pain. I recently experience spasms in my back that were so strong that I felt as though I was literally going to fall to the ground. In the worst moments just moving from one position to another was excruciating. I cannot imagine enduring this kind of thing in the hands, feet, limbs, back and even in the very act of breathing. It has to be terrifying and debilitating. 

Celine Dion feels her loss. The gift of a magnificent voice has been cruelly taken away from her. For me it would be like being unable to see so that I can read, and write and teach. We each find our talents if we are lucky and having them struck down is perhaps the cruelest irony anyone might endure. For such a thing to happen to a person who is extraordinary is a nightmare. Nonetheless Celine Dion seems determined to return to performing one day even if she has to crawl back to the stage. 

During the documentary Celine sang a song with her new condition and quite obviously her voice has changed considerably, but she still sounded beautiful. I can imagine her doing like Frank Sinatra eventually did as he grew older. She might sit on a stool or a chair with only a spotlight while she croons in a raspy but still stunning voice. It would be different, but I believe that her fans would cheer her on and love her as much as always. We all like stories of courage and hers is certainly one for the ages. 

I’ll be thinking of Celine Dion from here on out. I’ll be cheering her hopeful progress. She deserves to be able to use the beautiful gift that is her voice. For now she has proven to once again be an inspiration with her humility and honesty about how she feels. There are surely others who are suffering who will find hope in her message. I know that she has had a deep effect on me. 

In the documentary Celine Dion attempts to consider who she is. She admits that singing has always defined her very existence. I hope she will learn that she is doing as much for the world by revealing her difficult journey as when she sang like an angel. I certainly wish her well and I truly believe that through this beautiful documentary her heart will go on.