I met Shirley Hines in the early nineteen eighties. She was like the big sister that I never had but always wanted. It’s funny how we instantly clicked, but that would have been because of Shirley’s bigger than life personality and generosity. I knew that I had encountered an extraordinary women from the first time that we were brought together. We had been selected to be the first ever lay women to head the religious education program at St. Frances Cabrini Catholic Church and I had little idea how fun that would be with Shirley by my side.

Shirley was born in Missouri eleven years before I was and she possessed a Midwest charm that I would eventually come to know and love. She was an energetic woman, what most would call “a real go-getter.” She seemed unafraid of any challenges that life threw her way and she was on the forefront of independent women who knew how to make their own way in life. Thus she was an iconic role model for me and I reveled in all that I would learn from her in the forty odd years that we would be friends. 

Shirley had worked for the Federal Bureau of Investigation and travelled the world before I met her. She exuded confidence and knowledge but also a kind of openness that I admired and wanted to emulate. Through her travels she had learned how to cook exotic dishes that she enjoyed sharing with others. She also excelled at creating homespun goodies like strawberry jam and home baked banana bread. She was the Martha Stewart of my world who often invited me to family celebrations where I was treated royally to her hospitality and joy.

I like to talk and sometimes I have been accused of being a bit competitive in conversations, but when I was around Shirley I only wanted to listen. Her knowledge and wisdom and wit always left me almost breathless with admiration. She was a woman who overcame the difficult challenges that life throws at each of us with courage and ingenuity. She never seemed to falter and while she was dealing with issues that might have crushed mere mortals she never lost her giving nature. She was the kind of person who would offer her last dime to someone in need and then figure out how to take care of herself later. 

Shirley dubbed our working partnership at the church as “The Laverne and Shirley Show” and together we were indeed filled with laughter and closeness. I was difficult to leave my working relationship with Shirley to become a full time teacher. We pledged to keep our friendship alive and somehow we managed to do just that.

Over the years Shirley and I made it a habit of meeting during the Christmas season without fail. We gathered with a group of women with whom we had worked at the church in the long ago. Each woman was quite amazing but in many ways Shirley was our north star, the woman who demonstrated all of the best qualities that each of us hoped to cultivate in ourselves. She was fearless, funny, optimistic, determined, creative, kind, loving and always ready to tell a story about life that enchanted us and brought smiles to our faces. 

In the wake of the pandemic that so changed the world Shirley had a stroke that left her unable to talk, an unimaginable tragedy given how outgoing she was. She ended up spending the last many years in a nursing home where she received the daily care that she needed. Her devoted daughter, Cristel, visited as often as she was allowed and kept us updated on Shirley’s progress by way of posts on Facebook. It was apparent that Shirley’s stroke had stolen her vitality but we also saw the love and gratitude that she had for Cristel in the many photos that chronicled her journey in the final years of her life. 

Recently Shirley experienced a fall that led to a rapid decline in her health. Rather quickly she went to hospice care and died. For those of us who knew and loved her it was like a punch in the gut to know that the world the delightful sprite who never failed to put smiles on our faces. It was as though a bright light had suddenly away. 

Shirley was a faith filled woman who no doubt has an exalted place among the angels and saints. Her entire life was one of giving, helping, loving with all of her heart. Her pain is gone now. She overcame all of the tragedies and challenges that befell her with wisdom and grace. Shirley Hines is home and no doubt making everyone who is already there feel just a bit better than they were before they encountered her. 

I will miss Shirley. Her memory is truly a blessing to me. I have cried tears of loss but also tears of happiness that she has found her reward for a life well lived. She is still my icon, a role model who demonstrated through every day of her life an unselfish love and acceptance of every person she met. One of the best moments of my own life was the day when I was lucky enough to become Shirley’s friend. I will forever treasure our moments together and hope that I can be the kind of person that she showed me how to be. May Shirley Hines rest in peace and may her family feel the comfort of knowing that she is now resting in the arms of heaven. She was the best among us.