Day: December 13, 2024

Once a teacher, always a teacher…

I laugh when I realize that the vast majority of my friends are either former colleagues at various schools or former students who are now adulting and living their lives into middle age. My personality has been honed and varnished by the duties that I performed in the classroom. Accordingly I am many things.

I was trained to first and foremost protect the young people placed in my care. That meant always making certain that they were safe. It also meant doing my very best to understand the individual needs of every person who trusted me to help them grow in wisdom and confidence. I had to be fully aware of who was soaring and who was struggling and then determine how I might best help them. 

While knowledge is of great importance for every teacher, it might be argued that forming an emotional connection is just as critical. I am not talking about getting personal or attempting to influence students either religiously or politically. Instead I am referring to making connections in understanding what barriers students are experiencing. It means showing compassion for those who are struggling for one reason or another. I means demonstrating to them that learning is a lifelong journey that requires a mindset of continual growth. 

We each learn in different ways and at different paces. Because someone can’t master the process of solving equations on the first try does not imply an intellectual deficit. Instead it simply shows that more time and perhaps a different kind of explanation is needed. Also, if students truly believe that a teacher is intent on helping them rather than hurting them, they are more likely to have a willingness to trust that the purpose of life and learning is beautiful and exciting. 

To accomplish my goals for my students I was sometimes a counselor, sometimes a disciplinarian, sometimes a nurse, sometimes an entertainer, sometimes a safe place to be. I had to know when to laugh, when to be serious, when to stop to take a breather. In my role I developed skills that would translate easily to many fields of endeavor. I was a manager, a communicator, an accountant, a writer, a general, a detective, a mathematician.  I had to learn how to change hats quickly according to whatever the occasion required. There was little time for rest from August to July. My days were filled with joy but also tragedies and sometimes even feelings of failure and defeat. Nonetheless I am filled with a kind of pride in what I accomplished during my working years. In many ways they define who I am and who I always wanted to be. 

At times people around me accuse me of always wanting to be in control of every situation and I have to plead guilty to that verdict. It is difficult not to notice what needs to be done in any environment. I can spot a dangerous situation when others are blind to it. I can feel sorrow and pain in people who are stoically suffering. I know when someone is struggling even when they are loathe to complain. I have a tendency to want to fix anything that seems to be broken even when I am pushed away. 

I have had to curb some of my tendencies and even admit that I am not as capable of solving problems as I once was. I have had to foster the same growth mindset that I have tried to teach others with a willingness to adapt to the changing world. I try to keep my mind open and willing to accept ideas that have evolved differently from my own. I do my best to practice what I once preached to my students.

Right now I find myself worrying most about my elderly father-in-law. He wants to have his independence but seems to know that he can no longer live alone so he stays with me and my husband. He appears sharp as a tack to anyone who only sees him now and again but because I am with him every single day I see the decline of his thinking and the ways that he attempts to hide it. I struggle with keeping him safe because he insists on doing some things that he should probably lay aside. I try to allow him to do as much as he can on his own because I know that he needs the dignity of feeling competent. Nonetheless I constantly watch and worry when I see him pushing the boundaries of his abilities. It is a challenge to know when to intercede and when to let things go, much like it would be with a student in a classroom. I have the knowledge and skills to work effectively with him but because he sees himself as my superior an added difficulty exists in our relationship. 

The greatest challenge in caring for someone who is aging is that the results are inverted from a teaching situation. The most likely outcome is going to be regression in abilities rather than forward progress. No doubt as he slowly loses his independence we will find ourselves engaged in uncomfortable battles for which I have much experience from my teaching days. I hope that I will be ready and able to do what must be done in the same spirit of love and kindness that I gave to my students. If all goes well I will know when and how to deal with whatever comes.