Each morning people rise from their slumbers and begin the routines that are part and parcel of whom they seem to be. The millions and millions of individuals on this earth do the work that keeps us clothed, fed, entertained, healthy, educated. So much goes on around us that we sometimes do not notice the importance of each job until for some reason it is not done. Little wonder that so many feel not just unappreciated but unseen. It is as though they do not even exist even as they labor to keep our homes, neighborhoods, cities, nations running.
Today I began to think of the many times when I have rushed around hardly giving a thought to all of the activity buzzy around me. I don’t think of leaving a thank you card for the mailman when I find the letters and packages neatly placed in the box that is mine, but I should. I only passingly glance at the men digging a gigantic hole designed to hold who knows what. I have to remind myself not to become irritated when the line at the grocery store grows too long. I may as well be totally blind to the important contributions that are taking place all around me. Then someone comes along and reminds me to take time to notice and appreciate all the wonderful deeds by thanking me for the simple act of holding the door open for them.
I think of how nice it is to hear a pleasant voice congratulating me for something that so many take for granted. I feel sheepish when I hear that compliment, but also enjoy the flush of joy that it brings to me. Suddenly I know that someone has actually seen my efforts to be kind and helpful. Despite the fact that it is not necessary to hear nice words each time we provide what should be common courtesy, I like that I was not invisible if only for a moment.
Some people have a knack for taking note of the efforts of their fellow humans. They demonstrate their gratitude with a pat on the back, a note of thanks, a small gift, an “atta boy or girl.” it’s something that we should all do more often and not just for the obvious recipients like police officers or soldiers. The guy who comes to repair a clogged toilet may be getting paid, but believe me a bit of praise added to the tab will probably make his day.
As I type this blog I see the school bus bringing children home to our neighborhood. Whoever drives them is so very important. I think of how nice it might make her feel to know that I have noticed how carefully she drives and how on time she always is. There are people all around us that we should make an effort to see and appreciate. It takes only seconds to be openly grateful for them.
I have sadly spoken to people who are quick to shower influential or wealthy individuals with praise and gifts only to impress them and maybe earn some perks from them. I wonder how often they do the same for the yard guy that they order around and grade with an impossibly rigid rubric.
I’d like to challenge each of you who read this blog to choose two folks to receive a compliment or a thank you from you. Even better would be to begin a conscious effort to do this every single day of the year. It can be anyone with whom you have contact. Maybe it’s someone living in your home who is doing a load of laundry or making a shopping list to be certain that you will have what you need for a good day. The more ordinary the task, the greater the probability that the person sometimes feels unseen. Let them know explicitly that you do know what they are doing and you are truly thankful that they perform these tasks for you.
Positive reinforcement moves mountains, creates relationships, brings hope to the downtrodden. Every single one of us wants to know that the jobs we do are worth the efforts that we put into them. There is nothing more dreary and soul crushing than working hard only to be totally ignored as though you are expected to be someone’s work horse.
I know that what I am suggesting really does work to make life better. I’ve tried it even with someone who is being grumpy. Once I smile and vocalize what I like about their work, they soften and return the joy. Making someone feel good should become as commonplace in our daily actions as eating and sleeping.
I suspect that people who become seriously depressed are victims of more than just an imbalance in their brains. They are feeling unloved, unseen, unimportant. It is a horrible condition indeed. Look around. See what you can do to be a bright light in someone’s day. Spread some joy! Being nice will make you feel better as well.
All It Takes Is A Little Love 