“Everything has a way of coming back around, What seems unstoppable and inevitable never is.” — Jimmy Carter

As we embark on a new year and a new era in politics I am feeling a bit anxious as I have already indicated in several of my blogs. I don’t particularly like being a worry wart but it has always been part of my nature, spurred on mostly by unexpected events that rocked my world. 

I was a fairly happy go lucky child until the day that I awoke to learn that my father had died in a car accident. It was not something that I ever would have imagined much less fretted about and yet here was my little family locked in a kind of horror that would alter our lives in palatable ways. The old soul that had previously been locked somewhere in my DNA took center stage at that moment and I became serious and filled with a notion that I needed to take care of my mother and brothers. I altered the trajectory of my life to fulfill that obligation. 

Just when my brothers and I were entering our grown up years and I was feeling liberated from my task of watching over my younger siblings my mother showed the first signs of her bipolar disorder in all of its frightening behaviors. Suddenly I was thrown back into a caregiver roll that I never expected to so define my young adult life. I had to learn how to advocate for her and how to watch for signs that she was becoming sick again. That journey would last for more than forty years and it taught me that we can never get so comfortable with our lives that we might assume that nothing bad will happen to us. 

I suppose that my experiences have had both good and bad consequences. I had to draw on my observational and compassionate skills in dealing with my mother which also made me a much better teacher in my work life. I used my abilities to stay aware of underlying difficulties that my students might be experiencing. I understood the impact of life events on the ability to concentrate and learn. I tried to create a safe environment for my students that assisted them in balancing their school and home lives even when times were tough for them. 

I suppose that I am a person who delves more deeply into the pulse of the world around me because I know all too well that life can change in a second. I sometimes observe things that others do not see. I have taught myself to be ready for instantaneous changes that may rock my plans. I always have alternatives to steady even the worst situations, but my deliberate way of viewing the world can be exhausting. I often fantasize being able to just relax and look the other way when I see signs of trouble. Unfortunately I am an old dog and learning new tricks does not come as easily as it once did. Thus I worry, sometimes silently and sometimes with very trusted individuals. 

Right now my instincts are on high alert. I foresee much trouble in the coming months. I am not exactly sure what form they will take but the world is too uneasy for me to simply laugh away my vague fears. I wonder if another big test of my stamina and flexibility is on the horizon. Perhaps it will be quite personal or maybe it will instead involve all of the world. Maybe it will be a combination of both possibilities. 

I suppose that my greatest concern is that we as Americans remain so divided in an ugly way that I have not seen since I was a young woman in the late nineteen sixties. I wonder if we will be up the tasks that I fear will challenges us all in the coming times. Will our leaders finally be willing to work together or will we witness hardship, trauma and maybe even injury to our fellow humans? I will watch with a heightened sense that we all must be ready but I will also cling to the hope that I am just being silly and that all will be okay.

I am particularly calmed by the wisdom of Jimmy Carter. I believe that he is correct in noting that no matter what hardships my befall us we humans will correct them and return to a time when we were much more willing to work with each other. The turmoil never lasts forever. We grow weary of ugliness and offer olive branches to bring us together again when we have had enough of trouble. 

I suppose that even if the new year brings us a bit of hurt we will ultimately move beyond it. I still have faith that there is always more good in the world than bad. My life has shown me that again and again that I am right to rely on my faith in humanity and myself to find the right pathways into the future with the help of a God who urges us to remember to love.