Life is a funny thing. We are as innocent as can be when we are born. We are curious and willing to explore. We see no difference between ourselves and others. We simply enjoy each day just as it comes. Sadly the world too often teaches us that there are winners and losers and that nothing is worse than being a loser. Instead of just enjoying the play of a game, we begin to strive to be champions. When we are successful we feel the joy of adulation. When we fail we sense the disappointment of the people around us. We begin to compete and compare ourselves, sometimes winning, sometimes losing and almost always wondering if we are good enough. We are somehow taught to believe that we are unworthy in one way or another.
We may begin to look in the mirror and focus more on what seem to be flaws in our appearance. Perhaps our hair is too thin or too curly. Maybe our eyes don’t look quite right. We do our best to be presentable but watch someone born with beautiful features being touted for good looks.
We may be quite good at quickly learning but awkward on a field of sports or maybe it is the reverse. We feel ourselves being studied and measured by people who don’t know us at all and we feel discomfort. Maybe we are the ones who are judging others with superficial eyes. We begin to be our own worst critics wondering why our hard work doses not provide us with a bigger home, a nicer car, more money in the bank. We see the world through the eyes of competition and rank people and things based on some invented criteria. We are never quite satisfied. Enough is never enough.
Such has been the struggle for humans for centuries. There always seem to be the haves and the have nots. Life can seem unfair unless we stop the cycles of pitting ourselves against each other rather than simply enjoying the persons that we are just as we are. The key to a good life lies in loving ourselves, not in a narcissistic way, but in appreciating the unique features and talents that we each have.
My guess is that everyone has known a beautiful person who was miserable and a homely one who has found the keys to happiness. We’ve seen wealthy and powerful people who never seemed able to get enough and people with low incomes who generously share what little they have. Those who are self assured no longer worry about appearances or titles. They possess the inner power of finding joy in simplicity. They do not view other people as competitors, but as partners in a journey that will have a lifetime of ups and downs, wins and losses. They manage to keep going because they have found the secrets of the silver lining playbook. They look past the artificial and see the beauty in the ordinary.
We would all do well to consider the role of perspective in our lives. The job that we have may be a bit dreary at times and we may even feel underpaid. To the individual who is desperately seeking work and a paycheck our employment may seem to be a source of great happiness. Our home may feel small and cramped but someone whose house has been ravaged by the floods of a hurricane might be quite content with a solid roof and a warm refuge no matter how tiny it may be.
We complain about our nation and our politics but we have the strongest economy in the world. So far at least, we are not engaged in war but we run the risk of getting there if we become so disgruntled that we insist on demanding everyone to think alike. We become judge and jury of people’s thoughts and blithely toss away old friendships in a silly belief that there is only one way of doing things and those who resist must be punished. We choose sides, teams, tribes, races and harshly compare all to satisfy our lust for power and wealth.
I often quote my mother because she was indeed a very wise woman. She had her moments of mental illness when her mind was not working at its best but in between was a person who had most brilliantly learned how to live life well. The key to the joy that she both felt and gave away was in loving herself and then spreading that love to others regardless of who they were, how they looked, what status or rank they had in life. She was able to marvel at the tallest tree or the tiniest flower.
Life is much shorter than it may seem when we are busy living it. There is nothing wrong with striving to be our best at anything as long as we remember that when we make it a comparative struggle we steal away our own joy and that of the people around us. Life is so much better when we enjoy our victories and learn from our failures but don’t measure worth like a competitive sport. We can make our lives full and meaningful wherever we are as long as we see the beauty all around us and share whatever bounty comes our way. If we learn to do that we will smile when the end comes, confident that we made a mark on the world however small simply because we were kind and we loved.
All It Takes Is A Little Love 