Day: April 16, 2025

Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. —-Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde was a witty man who used sarcasm to entertain. He was quite popular at the end of the nineteenth century until he was accused of having a homosexual relationship with the son of a wealthy and powerful man. He went to trial claiming that his alleged affair did not happen and he therefore attempted to sue his accuser for libel. Sadly his efforts backfired and he ended up being found guilty for gross indecency. He was sentenced to prison where he languished in a state of depression for the two years of his sentence. His reputation was ruined by the incident and he became an impoverished refugee in Paris. 

Of course in that era homosexuality was criminal and those who were gay or lesbian either attempted to deny their feelings or lived secretive lives in which the prospect of being caught was a dangerous reality. There is an irony that his most famous quote about being oneself was mostly impossible for him due to the dangerous nature of being gay. His somber end was often the fate of both men and women who had feelings and desires for same sex relationships. It would be another century before  homosexuality began to to be more accepted by society. Nonetheless there are still those who are unwilling to embrace gay and lesbian citizens as the good and normal people that they are.  

I grew up only hearing about homosexual people when I was teenager. Back in the late nineteen sixties the names for such people were grotesque and insulting. I assumed that I had never encountered anyone of that persuasion and had no idea what someone with those tendencies might be like. 

I remember my husband telling me when I was in my thirties in the late nineteen eighties that everyone knew someone who was homosexual and that there was nothing strange about them. I still was not certain that I had ever encountered such souls who were only beginning to publically embrace the title of being gay. 

Of course i was wrong. As society seemingly became more open friends, co-workers and even family members began to “come out.” It was a liberating time for them and a learning time for me. I realized that some of the finest people I have ever known were either gay or lesbian. Somehow it just seemed so natural to be able to openly support them as the wonderful people that I knew they were. 

I attended their weddings when society agreed to make their unions legal. Some of the most emotional moments I have ever experienced came from hearing their stories of being shunned or living in the shadows. As they became more and more open I began to wonder why they had ever been viewed as indecent people. I saw them as being kind, generous and incredibly understanding. I was happy that they were finally able to be themselves. 

The battles that gay and lesbians fought to find acceptance have been difficult. They were often spurned, becoming victims of violence. We have all heard the brutal stories of gay men and women being beaten and sometimes even murdered when they were never hurting anyone. History tells us of individuals who were castrated, imprisoned, spurned from society. it has been good to know that in recent times gay men can become governors and hold powerful positions in the arts, commerce and education. The shackles of secrecy have mostly been thrown aside but what seemed to me like a total reversal of the kind of ignorance that ruined the life of Oscar Wilde was not as universally celebrated as I had believed. There were still groups who found gays and lesbians to be unacceptable and of late they are threatening to restrict the freedoms of the gay and lesbian community once again. 

Even more troubling is the seemingly unmitigated hatefulness being aimed at the transsexual population. This group is so small that few people have ever encountered a trans person. They literally represent under one percent of the population and generally cause no trouble for others, but nonetheless have become the political pincushions of MAGAs. Just existing makes their lives difficult in some circles. There are groups that make no effort to understand them or to accept them even though there is strong evidence that their physical characteristics are out of sync with their brains because of hormonal events in utero or medically verifiable differences in their DNA. Instead of attempting to understand them, there are political efforts to deny the reality of their very existence. The kind of anger and hatred being hurled at them leaves them vulnerable and likely to endure hate and violence and poverty as they become outcasts in society.  

It is well known that people from the LGBTQ community have been around since the beginning of time and in all cultures and nationalities. In fact some Native American tribes have always viewed members of the LGBTQ community as being spiritually blessed. They honor such people for their uniqueness. So too did the ancient Greeks and other societies. Historically they have only been viewed as indecent or dangerous by hyper religious groups with strict rules of sexuality. 

I am hoping that my LGBQT friends and relatives will not be harmed or ostracized. I’d like to believe that we have moved past such judgmental behavior. Surely we can now see that they are more like us that they are different. They are good people who deserve to live in peace and harmony. I don’t want them to be hurt anymore. Surely we have moved past the ignorance that breeds fear of gender diversity. I for one have learned that those with unique sexuality are some the best people that I have ever known.