My father had an incredible impact on me in spite of dying when I was only eight years old. I remember so many moments in our short time together that influence me to this day. I’ve written about his love of history and books and music. Even after he was gone my brothers and I listened to the records he had purchased and played each evening on our Victrola. The many volumes he had purchased lined shelves in our hallway and as me I became more and more proficient and mature in my reading skills I would learn more about the kind of man he was.
I knew that my father was a sports enthusiast because he listened to ballgames on the radio on Saturdays and read about teams in the newspaper. He assumed that I shared his enthusiasm so he often filled me in on the latest scores and news. I don’t recall many specifics from his commentaries other than his devotion to the athletes of Texas A&M University. He would regale me with stories of coaches and players that seemed to be household names in our family. I wasn’t really interested in that kind of information but I liked that his mind was filled with so much information. I smiled at the way he seemed to charm and entertain the men who came to visit us.
While I was never particularly interested in the details of sports I reveled in watching his favorite comedy shows on our little black and white television encased in a beautiful mahogany cabinet. I suppose what I enjoyed the most was the way he laughed all the way down to his belly when a joke was particularly good. I liked that he had a sense of humor even when I didn’t always understand the jokes. I liked the happy sound of his reactions.
I vividly remember a few movies that I saw with my father and somehow they have guided me in my own viewing preferences to this very day. One of his favorites was High Noon with Gregory Peck. It was the story of a sheriff willing to stand up to a bad guy even when the citizens of his town were afraid to join him. The moral of that film has stuck with me to this very day. I could tell that my father believed in the kind of heroism that required the sheriff to find a high level of moral courage. He would talk about that story over and over again. I would end up rewatching the classis many times and seeing its value through the eyes of an adult. Later I would watch an older Gregory Peck portray a lawyer who went against his townspeople to defend a poor Black man accused of murder and I thought of my father.
Another of my father’s favorites was Shane with Alan Ladd. It too was a story of profound courage from a stranger who came to town during a time when the homesteaders were struggling brutality of wealthy cattle barons who were determined to dominate and steal. The main character helped a family struggling to keep their land and their honor and then he simply went away. My father sometimes opined that this was his favorite movie ever because it showed that common folk can and should stand up to powerful people who would attempt to curtail their freedoms.
Another movie that captured my father’s fancy was The Old Man And The Sea with Spencer Tracey. It was a slow moving film focused on the main character, Santiago, who was determined to do whatever it took to land a huge marlin and bring it back to shore. My father explained the importance of determination to me after watching the movie with him. He also suggested that I one day read the story by Ernest Hemingway whom he considered to be an incredible writer.
It’s funny how those three movies have stayed with me. I have watched each of them many times and I draw more and more insight from them with each viewing. I also find myself understanding my father from a more adult perspective even though I never had the opportunity to interact with him as an adult. The hints that he left me and my brothers have been more than enough to provide me with a sense of really knowing him. He was a man who admired courage and grit. I realized that some of the last words that he spoke to me were a challenge to be honorable and willing to push myself to be better than I might have thought I would be able to be. He gave me models of what it means to be strong and then he encouraged me to never stop learning. All the while I saw the importance of being able to laugh even in difficult times and situations.
I suppose that with all of the upheaval in our political environment I find myself understanding that sometimes I have to find the courage of being the change that I wish to see as the saying goes. There may not be a posse coming to save me so it will be up to me to persist in doing what I believe to be the right thing for me and my family and my country. It will be a challenge and I may want to quit, but that is not what we are sometimes called upon to do.
I love that my father was wise enough to share so many things with me and to constantly send me messages about how much he loved me and how much he expected me to be and do my best. It would have been nice to have him around a bit more but somehow he managed to give me all the information that I needed in only eight years of knowing him. My grandparents and my mother and friends and relatives would fill in the blanks for me along the way. I hope that I have done as much for my children as he did for me. His legacy lives in me to this very day.
All It Takes Is A Little Love 