I am now mostly retired so any advice that I offer about finding ways to shed anxiety may seem moot to those who don’t know me well. I still teach and tutor mathematics two days each week. It takes time to assess student progress and create meaningful lessons beyond the actual hours of face time that I have with each of the young people with whom I work. I seem to fret and worry over them as much as I ever did with the students that I taught and counseled in public and private schools. 

I also run a household filled with aging individuals including myself. My father-in-law just turned ninety six and while we celebrate that he is still functioning well given his age, he is mostly dependent on me and my husband for just about everything. We have to sort his medications, prepare foods that keep him healthy, drive him to appointments, keep his environment clean and even do small tasks like addressing envelopes for him because his writing has become illegible. Aside from the added duties associated with his presence there is the concern over his well being. We have learned that his overall state of mind and body can change overnight landing him back in the hospital again. 

I also worry about my husband who has so many afflictions that we joke about visiting his doctors in the medical center as one of our forms of entertainment. Loved ones are also aging and encountering health issues that are worrisome. For now I’m still following an energetic schedule even as I have had to learn how to pace myself in ways that are foreign to my go getter personality. 

Then there is the general state of uncertainty in the United States. Each and every day since the inauguration of Donald Trump has brought chaos and worries affecting both loved ones and strangers. My tendency to observe and deeply feel the difficulties of others has left me drained from one day to the next. I have had to remember to engage in self care just to stay abreast to all of the duties and feelings that demand my attention. 

I have little doubt that everyone is feeling a bit anxious if they are paying attention to the troubles of the world or even just the concerns of the people around them. While I don’t advocate ignoring the realities of our lives or pretending that all is well when troubles are lurking at our doors, I do think that time outs are not just helpful but necessary. We each need moments to steal away from our troubles.

Over the decades of my life I have learned how to find solace if only for a few moments. For me silence is calming so I rise so early in the morning when it is unlikely that anyone will be awake to steal my moment of serenity. I have a daily routine that I perform just for myself. The homes around me are still dark when I open the blinds to let the rising sun slowly creep inside my haven. I prepare a small repast and ensconce myself on a lounger with my laptop perched on my knees. I play word games and then greet friends and family on Facebook. I listen as my neighborhood slowly comes alive and smile at the sound of children gathering at the bus stop just across the street from my home. I write my blog and and meditate until I feel strong enough to face whatever may come in the day ahead. 

When I am particularly run down in body and mind I retreat to my garden or my books. I lose myself in the beauty of nature or the wisdom of writers far better than myself. I feel part of something bigger when I do such things. I realize that people have endured far greater difficulties than my own. I gain perspective and feel a calmness sweep over my psyche. I’m ready to gird my loins and do battle again. 

Sometimes I just go off alone in my truck. I might drive around or stop to indulge myself in a chai tea latte. I might choose to walk through a park or wander around one of my favorite stores. I smile at people but mostly quietly observe them. When I return home I feel more inclined to continue to carry on as needed. 

I find exercise to be both a drudgery and an energizing activity. I force myself to begin and once I do so I find that I don’t want to stop. Everything about me gets stronger and I remember again how important it is to be kind to both my body and my mind. 

I often make quick phone calls to my family members and friends. I remember my mother reaching out to people every single day. I have found that a few moments thinking about someone other than myself is refreshing. I am reminded of what is really important and in doing so find great joy. 

I urge everyone to create a routine that allows “me” time no matter how busy your schedule may otherwise be. Keep a balance between your work and responsibilities but don’t just run away or attempt to drown the feelings that overcome you. Your emotional state is as important as your physical being. You must feed and exercise both your body and your mind. Find what works for you and then do your best to be your best when the good, the bad and the ugly come your way.