John McCain was a great man. He was also an honorable man. While I did not always agree with his political views I saw him as the kind of person that I would trust and on whose wisdom I would be willing to rely. John McCain demonstrated the kind of values that I most admire while serving time in a prisoner of war camp in Vietnam, It was there that his courage and patriotism rose to the highest level. His behavior while under extreme torture should serve as a case study of the best qualities of humanity when under extreme pressure. 

John McCain impressed me again when he received the Republican party nomination for the presidency. In his acceptance speech at the convention he outlined the details of his moral compass claiming that they were developed because he was “blessed by misfortune.” He went on to describe how the horrors of his imprisonment gave him the gift of a new perspective about his fellow humans and about the world in general. From it he learned what it truly meant to sacrifice and maintain loyalty to the people and the values that would change the course of his life. 

I was particularly moved by John McCain’s life story. While he seemed to be destined to be a golden boy with advantages that most of us never enjoy, the time he spent in a prison camp changed his perspective. He realized the impact of suffering but also the alliances with others that must never be taken for granted. He was also aware of his own weaknesses and was fully prepared to admit to them throughout the rest of his life. He had every opportunity to take advantage of his family connections even while in the hands of his captors, but he chose to stand with his fellow prisoners rather than exert his power and influence. When his opponent in the presidential race was demeaned by a voter, McCain boldly asserted that Barack Obama was a good man. When given an opportunity to dismantle the ACA act known as Obama Care relied on his vote, McCain gave it a thumbs down to the chagrin of his fellow Republicans. 

I have been thinking about McCain’s assertion that he was “blessed by misfortune” and I have been contemplating my own life. I always tell people that I have been a changing, a person who has shifted from one pathway to another. When my father was alive I took our wealth for granted. I was probably even a bit pretentious when I compared our beautiful homes to those of other people that I knew. I had a kind of childish snobbery when I observed the differences between my family’s economic situation and theirs. I viewed my father’s college degree as some kind of proof of his superiority and by extension of mine. I was proud and tried to be kind but a certain internal haughtiness  tainted my kinship with others who seemed to come from a lower economic and educational state. 

The misfortune of losing my father was an horrific blow that I never really overcame, but in a strange kind of way it was also a blessing. My family’s reduced state of income and security taught me many lessons, the most important of which was to honor people without consideration of wealth or power or other superficial qualities. I became a far better and more understanding person than I might have otherwise been. 

When my mother first showed signs of her mental illness I was devastated. I wondered in my prayers why God had so abandoned her and our family. I had to put my anger aside and get her the care that she needed. I had no idea at the time that her mental health would become a lifetime project for me. In the process the “misfortune” strengthened me and helped me to feel more confident in my abilities to protect others. It also taught me to see the needs of others in ways that almost seemed uncanny. I became much more sympathetic to those who chronically suffer.

I have grown with every misfortune that has come my way and there have been many. Sometimes I am not so brave when I first realize that I am being challenged once again. I moan and complain that I have had more than my share of difficulties and then I roll up my sleeves and get back to work again just as John McCain always seemed to do. Even as life dealt him one tragedy after another he seemed to get stronger and more resolute. Misfortunes help us lean about ourselves and others. We better understand what was most important in this life because of the adverse experiences that we must endure. 

The world of social media has shown me that my own misfortunes are rather bland compared to others. I have never experienced homelessness or false imprisonment. I have never gone hungry or heard bombs blowing things apart in my neighborhood. Nobody has ever pushed me away because of the color of my skin or the religion that I have chosen to follow. There are so many more terrible experiences that my fellow humans are enduring that I have never known. I even realize that some misfortunes are so horrific that it would be almost impossible to find a blessing in them. I see that because my own misfortunes have been easy enough to overcome that they have blessed me with an awareness that I might otherwise have never known. It’s a hard way to learn and change but worth the pain. I must also remember to always be willing to help those whose misfortune is so overwhelming that they need assistance just to stay alive. My blessings require me to never turn my back on their needs.