Life often piles up on us to a point where we are weary and even a bit unworthy of praise. We begin to feel fake whenever anyone compliments our energy or even our efforts to be kind because we know that in truth we are tired and angry about the weight of the challenges that we face. That’s when we reach for solace in tiny moments that bring us a sense of balance and joy. 

It doesn’t take much for me to feel recentered. I learned the technique of relying on small moments of peace and happiness from my mother. I suppose that given the many challenges of her life she had to find a way to adapt that cost nothing but paid great dividends. Sometimes that meant sharing her nightly hugs. Other times it included the extravagance of licking on an ice cream cone. 

I have a photo of me, one of my daughters and a few of my grandchildren sitting on a bench in Estes Park, Colorado enjoying the small luxury of ice cream in the middle of a warm day. The picture is a treasure because it encapsulates my mother’s simple method for turning the small moments into the most memorable ones. She had a way of being totally present and aware of the beauty of the world that made her rich in what she most valued in life which was her love of people. I’ve tried to emulate the kind of zen that focusing on the most basic times in our lives can bring. 

I have traveled to many places and enjoyed some concerts that I will never forget but when I remember such things I always seem to associate the happiness that I felt with single moments that warmed my heart. It was in sharing with the people that I love that those times etched pure joy in my soul. It was great seeing the Rolling Stones but the smile on my husband’s face as he sang along and played his air guitar with Keith Richards was priceless. Getting goosebumps at a Hans Zimmer extravaganza was made even better when I saw that my grandson was as moved by the music as I was. Having Luciano Pavarotti turn and smile at my mother is a memory that I will take with me to my very last day. 

I will always be grateful that my Mama showed me how to navigate even the most unimaginable tragedies with seemingly tiny indulgences that took the edge off of the anxiety for a brief moment. When my father died it meant gathering together with my little brothers in her bed and knowing that it was a safe place to reveal my worries and to cry. Eating a special dessert on Saturday nights or piling into our car with a paper bag filled with popcorn to watch a double feature at the drive in theater was a treat beyond measure. She had a way of making our lives feel special and safe without grand expenditures of money. She taught me to even treasure the weak sugary cup of coffee that my grandmother always prepared for us with so much love. 

Once you learn how to notice those small moments that take your breath away you begin to realize how many of them there are in a single day. Just seeing the coming and going of the people in your neighborhood becomes a delightful adventure. Watching the birds gathering at the feeders in the backyard is entertainment of the highest value. Savoring a juicy read strawberry on a hot summer day is a delight that brings back the most pleasant memories. Laughing in unison with a loved one is a treasure. 

I have sometimes wondered how individuals are able to navigate through the horrific moments that seem unbearable. In speaking with them I realize that in addition to describing the tragedies that have befallen them they almost always add stories of love and great joy associated with their memories. They recall the times when their lives were routine and one moment felt almost the same as another and yet there was always something quite special about the sameness of it all. 

We are living in tumultuous times of uncertainty. Many of our fellow humans are enduring challenges that would stymy the most stalwart among us and yet we also see flashes of hope in the tiniest moments that somehow keep them going. It may be a comforting story, an unexpected smile, a joke that breaks the tension, a reason to hope for better days. Maybe it is only a warm hug and a well deserved cry that break the tension if only for a second. 

Any sign of love or hope etches itself into our memories. We can call upon it and learn from it. In remembering those small moments we begin to realize we will be okay even if we lose the accoutrements that are so often associated with success. When all is said and done the most valuable things in our lives are not things at all, but the times that we share with others.