I have been spending my mornings accompanying my husband to radiation treatments for his cancer. The process goes rather quickly as long as the machines are working properly and he has done the work to prepare himself. It’s been a long haul from start to finish but everything has mostly gone well and so as we near the end I find myself reflecting on the many people that we have encountered all along the way.
Of course the doctors, nurses and technicians have been incredible. Even the greeter at the front of the building and the receptionist behind the desk smile with encouragement. Frankly I don’t now how all of them they stay so calm and compassionate day after day. They are definitely angels among us who deserve nothing but praise for the long hours that they dedicate to returning their many patients to good health.
I have seen a full spectrum of individuals and their families on the same journey that has filled days, weeks and months for my husband and me. We each have a role in the recovery process and we come from many places hoping for success. I have listened to the conversations and the stories and read the faces of those just beginning the treatments as well as those joyfully ringing the bell to mark the end of the process. We quietly become like family even as we represent the full spectrum of humanity.
I have witnessed elderly folks in wheelchairs and young people who look too healthy to be stalked by cancer. I hear conversations in Spanish and smile each day at the joyful Black woman who fills the room with hope even as she herself is enduring the treatments. There is the man who drives miles from east Texas to be with the best doctors. He entertains us with his Texas twang and stories of hunting and cooking. There are people who sit quietly and those who tell us their life stories. Nobody in the place thinks that anyone does not belong. We are equals as people all anxious for news that the cancer will be gone. We celebrate the victories and listen to the worries. We are all in the same boat and feeling fortunate to even have a boat.
The last many weeks have made me wonder why we humans so often have a difficult time just getting along with each other. There is unity and understanding in the room where we gather five times a week for eight weeks or more. We don’t judge each other or consider anyone to be either greater or less than. Why can’t such a spirit permeate over the entire planet? Why can’t we truly welcome each other with our differences and even our warts? What makes us judgmental and angry and so competitive? Why is power and money all too often more important that just loving each other? Don’t we know that in the long run of our lives none of those things will mean nearly as much as hearing the words, “You are cured. Go forth and have a good life!”
I have lost so many people for so many reasons and I never really get over missing them. I suppose that it is that way for each of us. We think about the friends and family members who have left us to navigate life on our own. We know that not one possession that we have can ever replace the important role that each of them played in our lives. Because we know this, how can we not know that this is not unique to our nation or any nation. Humans have the same feelings whether they are from Europe or Africa or the Middle East. Our differences are superficial. We make different choices about how to live and what to believe but when the rubber meets the road we all bleed and feel frightened when someone tells us that we have a disease. We also rejoice when the purveyors of medicine make us well. We cry when life ends for someone who has been part of our lives. These things are universal, beyond language and they should serve to unite us as humans.
Life can be difficult for everyone so why do we so often decide to make it worse for some? What in our personalities makes us immune to the feelings and tragedies of people who only appear to be different. Why don’t we want to hear their stories, share their joys, help them through their difficulties. What makes us judgmental rather than understanding?
These are questions that have become ever more important to me during the past many weeks. Somehow I have come to see even more clearly than ever how important it is for each of us to just accept each other. It is not up to us to demand how people should be or believe. Our only purpose should be to love, an idea preached long ago by a man named Jesus who inspired a religion that has done much good in the world but sometimes ends up doing harm when we lose the central message of his teaching.
I doubt that I will ever forget this experience. It has been difficult for me but even harder for my husband and the people who have the cancers growing in their bodies. It has humbled me and made me ever more determined to embrace my fellow humans. I have seen their beauty shining forth and hope that others will as well.
All It Takes Is A Little Love 