Day: August 15, 2025

Do your little bit of good where you are. It’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world. — Desmond Tutu

When I think back on my life I recall moments when it seemed as if the whole world was busy doing little bits of good. One of those times was in the immediate aftermath of the destruction of the Twin Towers in New York City. There was certainly a kind of nationwide sorrow and grieving in the United States, but at the same time people from everywhere made kind gestures to express their support. There were school children who wrote letters to the people of the city of New York and to the families who lost loved ones. Folks came from far and wide to help with the cleanup. Donations poured in. On the local front citizens of towns and neighborhoods pitched in the help each other. I often remember how my neighbors helped me clear debris from trees that fell down without even being asked. They saw me lugging bundles of sticks to the curb and silently joined in until the work was done. They asked for nothing in return but of course I understood my moral duty to be ready to do good for them.

The same kind of thing happened when Hurricane Harvey ravaged the city of Houston with historic floods. The Cajun Navy came with rescue boats. People used their fishing craft to bring people out of inundated neighborhoods. Food, water, and  household necessities arrived by the truckload. A group of celebrities from Los Angeles even held a telethon. When it came time to clean out the mud and muck that laid ruin to homes, complete strangers came in droves to work in ninety degree heat taking down soggy sheetrock and water soaked carpet. Schools received bundles of supplies to replace the once that were ruined in the rising water. It felt as though our city would make it back to normal with all of the love showered on us.

For a time the whole world rallied around the medical communities guiding us through the Covid 19 pandemic. Parades of cars drove through medical centers with signs signifying gratitude for the doctors and nurses. People rose to the occasion with videos of dancing and singing and music that lifted our spirits. Individuals delivered food to those who had to stay home. In most cases people wore their masks without too much complaint. It was wonderful while it lasted but it did not always stay that way. Once the whole virus and the way it was being handled was politicized a yawning gap opened up between people that has only grown wider and uglier over time.

I love it whenever people set aside their differences and come together for anyone who needs help. I revel in the idea of simply doing the right thing at the right time without judgement or irritation. We are at our best as people when we don’t take notice of race, religion, culture or sexual preferences in offering our little bits of good. We have more often than not understood that there are times when we must offer our time, our talents and our treasure to help those in need no matter who they are or where they may be. Such generosity has been a hallmark of my city and state and country for all of my life but somehow now I hear too many grinching that we should only have to take care of our own. Some seem to believe that it is not up to us to be the saviors of the entire world. They claim that we have enough to do in our own backyards and need not be concerned with the difficulties of strangers. 

I still believe that people are mostly good and that they will help those in need without questions. I live on a wonderful cul-de-sac in which we celebrate each other regularly. I know nothing about the political views of my neighbors but I do know that when a hurricane came through last summer we helped each other. I know that we check on each other, do little bits of good for each other. We have a blast on Halloween night handing out candy to kids who seem to come to our street from everywhere. We make cookies and goodies for each other at Christmastime. We don’t discuss our religious beliefs or worry about the color of each other’s skin or sexual preferences. We live in blissful harmony the way it should always be. 

I have grown weary of the constant bickering that is stirred up by our president. I dislike the idea of choosing one political power or way of thinking over another. This nation was built oncompromise. George Washington did not even want political parties. He feared what the concept might do to the freedoms of whichever group was not voted into office. He did not believe in the idea of pushing through legislation that did not consider all of the people. He hoped for a president who would be humble and wise and be open to differing ideas. He was adamant about  keeping clear divisions between the legislature, the Supreme Court and the executive branch. He envisioned a nation of people working for the common good of all citizens in pursuit of the ideals of the democratic republic. Such a government is dependent on little bits of good here and there coming together to make a difference in the world. 

I hope that we will get over our tendency as a voting public to elect people who are so one sided that they take delight in crushing those who do not walk in tandem with him. I long for a leader who will daily demonstrate a dedication to being good to everyone. We’ve had that before. Perhaps we will get sick enough of the chaos that is exhausting us and become a nation of generosity for everyone once again. 

The nineteen forty four movie Gaslight has become a kind of metaphor for our current times. The film starring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer is a journey into mental abuse using lies and psychological manipulation that cause a person to question his or her own sanity. In the story Ms. Bergman’s character begins seeing and hearing things that her husband insists are not happening. He suggests that she is not well and so she becomes more and more isolated until she struggles to determine what is real and what is not. The term gaslighting as it means today originated in the horror and abuse portrayed in that classic film.

So how can we detect when someone is gaslighting us and why would anyone want do such a thing? According to Prevention magazine there are six signs that something is amiss with the way a person or group of people are treating us. 1) The gaslighter tends to minimize actual feelings that people have. 2) He takes no responsibility for anything bad that is happening. 3) He lies so constantly that it becomes impossible to differentiate between reality and fraud. 4) When called out for his actions he denies any culpability and describes what has happened in a totally different way than others recall. 5) He often refers to those who express doubts about him as crazy, overly sensitive, overly dramatic, or paranoid. He creates an aura of self doubt in which up becomes down and down becomes up. 6) He is hyper defensive when he is questioned.

A masterful gaslighter finds joy in alienating people so that they soon find themselves withdrawing from each other. He gets excited whenever people choose him over friends and family. He insists that he is the only one who sees things the way that are while those who disagree with him see things in a totally inaccurate way. He accuses his doubters of being the bad persons, the actual manipulators. In fact he often describes his own thinking and actions as being the purview of anyone who points out his lies.

The accomplished gaslighter keeps the pressure on his victims until they are no longer believed. He turns the tables pretending to be the hero while destroying the person who is actually his victim. In a worst case scenario the person he is gaslighting becomes anxious and depressed. He increases the gaslighting to a point at which his targets are no longer able to handle the situation. They shutdown and avoid confrontation hoping that things will miraculously work out. Sometimes they even bow to his demands and lose all sense of self. 

If any of this sounds familiar to you then you must be like me in believing that Donald Trump has been relentlessly gaslighting our nation and the entire world for many years now. He is a fast talker who says whatever makes him look good whether or not it is true. More often than not his utterances are totally off the wall but if someone attempts to debate him he uses bullying tactics to shut them down. He has managed to make even other powerful people and institutions afraid of him. They cower in his presence often bowing to his demands for money or support. He has made our nation so sick that those of us who believe that we see through his web of lies often question ourselves when nobody seems willing to stop him. We wonder why good people that we know support him and many of his cruel demands. How is it possible that we are so wrong and why do we even question ourselves? Is it because we are all beaten down by this master manipulator?

I have done my best to stay abreast of the truth. It literally takes hours of my time each day to research every single thing that Trump says or does. He throws so much at as so quickly that it has become exhausting. There is a temptation to simply give up and just look away in the hopes that one day this will pass. The problem with that kind of attitude is that it denies us the opportunity to confront his abuse of every single person in the United States and in much of the world. The only way to deal with a gaslighter is to keep insisting on the truth every single time he tries to hide reality. 

Nonetheless I feel myself becoming more and more anxious, more and more depressed with the entire situation that is unfolding on a daily basis. I know that if I don’t engage in some self care that I will crack. I find solace in talking with others who have seen the truth and who are willing to stand up for what they believe is right. I helps me to know that I am not the crazy one. I am not the naive one. I do understand the danger of letting Trump run roughshod over our Constitution. I can’t simply accept his lawlessness so I join others who reassure me that I have not lost my mind.

My only hope is that one day the entire world will be willing to admit that Trump is dangerous and that each of has is wise is fearing what his power trip will bring to us. It will only be when something finally happens to alert the vast majority of Americans that he has been playing us that resolution will finally take place and we will be saved from his attempts to damage us. I just hope that it isn’t already too late for that to happen.