My daughter’s children are grown and gone so her four bedroom home with a pool in the backyard suddenly seemed a bit too big for her and her husband. She had often dreamed of buying a townhome but never quite found one that suited her tastes. Nonetheless she kept looking because she had grown weary of keeping up a pool that nobody used anymore and all of those rooms that mostly sat empty. Then she stumbled upon townhomes that were not attached to one another, providing privacy while also creating the feel of “just enough” room for two people who will be heading into their senior years more quickly than any of us ever imagined.
It is a beautifully crafted house in a tiny cul-de-sac arrangement with three other homes. The clever architecture allows for a large great room/ kitchen combination that looks out on a field of trees that grow on a plot of land too small for building so it will always be as lovely as it is today. It features a quite adequate master bedroom and two smaller rooms that will work well as guest rooms for when the kids come home or an office for my daughter. The best aspect of the place is found in the early morning and late afternoon views of sunrise and sunset. Each day nature’s gift seems to become more and more stunning in the quiet neighborhood tucked away from the world.
My daughter had to carefully purge herself of excess furniture and belongings in order for the move to work. Suddenly she and those who helped her pack the essentials came to realize that over a lifetime we humans lucky enough to live a nice middle class life in the United States collect lots of things, much more than we ever need. Somehow at the time we think that we must have them but if forced to choose what is most important we realize the folly of many of our purchases. In truth we only require so much to live comfortably.
Watching my daughter’s process of carefully choosing what she will take to the new house has given me an opportunity to rethink all of the many items that seem to take up every available space in my own home. Much of my excess centers around rescuing things from my mother-in-law and my mother when they died. Some of what I collected has great meaning and will stay with me until the day that I die or have to move to a smaller place in a retirement home. Items like a picture that hung over my mom’s sofa from the time that I was a child is a treasure. The vase that once belonged to my great grandmother will always travel with me until I find the daughter or grandchild who will understand its value as a family heirloom. The china and silver that my father purchased for Mama one piece at a time is proudly on display but much beyond that is really just stuff that I am more than willing to part with one day.
When my father-in-law remarried I rescued so much that had belonged to my mother-in-law that my home is staining to contain it all. My daughter only recently remarked that I have too much furniture and it is true. I keep much of it with the idea that someone my want to take care of it one day but so far only a few pieces seem to attract any of the family members. There is a secretary that is the centerpiece of what I call my sitting room and an oak table that is well over one hundred years old. Some end tables might prove to be useful for someone one day but I’m not so sure about much of the rest, including multiple sets of china that I never use.
We collect this and that as our lives go by. Some of it is meaningful beyond measure and some would mean little if we hauled it away. My father-in-law’s attic is still filled from one end to the other with boxes and furniture that he has forgotten that he has. The job of cleaning it out when he is gone will be daunting and according to all of the stories that I hear few young people want the old things and many antique stores are having trouble selling some items that were once desired. Somehow we humans, especially in America, generally have homes and plots of land large enough to store things away. We get more and more and more but use only a small percent of it. When we are gone our descendants don’t know quite what to do with it all.
Sadly life is not filled with more than can ever be used for most people. While we are busy accumulating there are still people on this earth who are dying from hunger and want. If we were to whittle down our own needs and then set aside regular contributions to charitable causes our lives would be so much more meaningful.
Perhaps my daughter has stumbled upon the right idea. She was happy to sell her home to a young couple with children. They were overjoyed to be able to purchase a home with a pool and so many rooms. They plan to raise their family in a neighborhood with excellent schools. it seems like a wonderful way for an older generation to provide for a younger one.
An additional joy that was prompted by my daughter’s decision to keep only what she really needs or treasures came when she had to do something with the piano that has sat in her home unused for decades now. It had been given to her by her grandmother when she was only a child and she never quite took to learning how to play. Nonetheless she moved it from town to town, place to place where it sat like a relic, never making a sound. Because it would never have fit in the townhome she had to do something so she offered it for free online. A woman with two children who were learning to play with only a keyboard quickly asked to be rewarded the gift. When the lady came with her youngsters they sat on the bench and played the loveliest melodies that had come from the piano in years. The woman literally cried with joy at the realization that her budding pianists would have a wonderful instrument to refine their talent. My daughter cried with the joy of knowing that the piano would be loved. Everyone was happy
Giving all of that excess baggage away now rather than letting it turn to dust in attics and closets seems like an excellent idea. Even better is that my daughter will not leave her children with the enormous task of knowing what to do with all that she has left behind when her time on this earth arrives. We might all do well to consider what we really need and scale down now. We can donate it or have a gigantic garage sale or just give special pieces to those that we love. However we do it will make so much more sense than hoarding it until it becomes a nuisance rather than something that may bring great happiness to someone right now. It seems like a grand thing to do.
All It Takes Is A Little Love 