I think that all of us have endured times when we had to move beyond tragedies and major challenges. We woke up, dressed up, showed up and refused to give up. Watching people keep going when the going is tough beyond all imagination always inspires me, but it also brings out my compassion for them.
My mother was a world class expert at pushing herself to overcome difficulties . She got knocked down so many times the it would be impossible to recount all of her setbacks. She lost a fiancee during World War II then lost my father when she was only thirty years old. She had three children under the age of nine to feed and raise and protect without any kind of income. Somehow she found her footing and her make believe “money tree” that kept our family going.
Just when all seemed to be falling into place for my mom she had a breakdown that would be devastating to see. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and would spend the next forty years of her life yo-yoing back and forth between health and mental illness. Though it all she managed to buy and pay for two houses, earn a college degree, get me and my brothers safely to adulthood, and maintain an optimism that belied all of the difficulties she had endured.
Of course my Mama is my role model when it comes to overcoming hard times but I have witnessed unbelievable courage from work colleagues and friends as well. Just recently a young mother that I know was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her journey to health involved surgeries, chemotherapy and radiation. She was sick for over six months but still managed to show up for work on most days. Given that she was also a great mom to her three young children I found myself in unadulterated awe of her courage. The good news is that she is now cancer free and enjoying life with new found gusto.
There is also the man whose son was killed in a road rage incident after a baseball game. What was supposed to be a fun evening turned into horror and he has struggled with his new reality quite openly in the hopes of using his story to help others to deal with restarting life after the death of a child. He has taught me so much about how to approach someone whose loved one has died from violence. I have learned how to face and discuss the reality of such situations with greater understanding. I no longer talk about speaking of how I have been blessed for my good fortune because he has made me aware that doing so insinuates that God took care of me but was not willing to take care of his son. I am much more careful with my words and much more willing to just let a person seethe when dealing with the unspeakable.
I have yet another friend who spent years caring for her husband who was afflicted with early onset Alzheimer’s disease. There were days when I could not imagine how she came to work and managed to keep her sorrows out of performing her duties. Those years alone would have branded her a saint in my eyes but there was more unexpected difficulty to come. After her husband died at a young age she found new love with a man that she had known in high school. The two of them had both lost their spouses prematurely. At first they were just good friends comforting each other, but before long they realized how wonderful it felt together. They began a new life that brought them much joy. Unfortunately he has been recently diagnosed with some very scary illnesses and once again my friend is navigating between caring for him and moving forward from day to day. Somehow she still has the optimism that took her through her previous tragedy. We are all cheering for her and for a full recovery for her husband. Somehow it seems only right that she should not have to lose the one she loves again.
Then there is a cousin of mine who has now been diagnosed with brain cancer twice and she is only in her forties. She has two youngsters in the sixth and fourth grades and her treatments have been mindbogglingly difficult. Nonetheless she has kept the children centered and happy as they begin a new year of school. It is beyond me how she keeps smiling and thinking only of her babies but she digs deeply and finds the fortitude she needs without complaint.
We all know such people and hope that when it is our turn to face difficult times what we will have the courage and wherewithal to wake up, dress up, show up and refuse to give up. The best among us somehow show us how it’s done. Still, we might take time to remember them and acknowledge how wonderful we know them to be. I think they would like knowing that we admire them. When the going gets tough, the tough keep going but we should be walking alongside them on their journeys.
All It Takes Is A Little Love 