My dear friend, Zerin, now lives in India. It seems so far away and yet I follow the progress of her life on Facebook. Now and again she gives me a call and I always think that I should return the favor but I can’t seem to get into sync with the time difference between us. Still, I need to make a better effort because when I hear her lovely voice my blood pressure lowers, my anxieties fade into the background and I feel more capable. She has always had that effect on me. 

When I first met Zerin at Revere Middle School I felt an instant connection. It was as though we had been meant to come together. We quickly settled into a deep and easy friendship in spite of, or perhaps because of, the many different journeys our lives had already enjoyed. We truly understood each other and always felt comfortable voicing both our joys and our worries to each other. There were times when we retreated to a tiny room to pour out the contents of our hearts, always leaving refreshed and certain that everything was going to work out and it mostly did.

Life sent us in different directions. I accepted a job at another school and eventually Zerin and her husband moved back to India. I thought I might never hear from her again with the exception of reading her posts on Facebook but Zerin as thoughtfully as ever made sure to call me now and again. In those brief chats I felt the full force of our kinship. We were two women talking of our families and our travels. 

Over the years that seemed to pass too quickly we kept in touch or at least Zerin did. Now we have found a way to communicate even more often with chats and texts. It seems a modern way of doing something old fashioned. As with letters of correspondence of old we express ourselves with printed words hoping that without the inflections of our voices we will still understand the feelings behind them. 

Our children are grown now, the same ages as we were when we first met. Our grandchildren have become young adults preparing for the future. While our lives have changed the bond that we feel with each other remains unbroken and I sense that it may even become stronger than ever before. 

We all need true friends who stay with us in spite of our flaws and gaffes. Friends allow each other to grow and change and even be imperfect. It is said that if you can never see anything that is a bit amiss with another person then that is an acquaintance. True friends see the good the bad and the ugly and still love each other. Nothing tears them apart. 

With Zerin I can be myself and she is patient. I can express my concerns and she somehow knows how to calm me. She seems to intuitively know when I need to hear her voice. I have often called her my angel because she is so gentle. I sometimes wonder how I was lucky enough to have her in my life. 

I have other friends who have been faithful over the span of many years. Cappy and Carol and Nancy put up with my tendency to talk far too long and with too much animation. They may not agree with all that I do and say but we are able to laugh about our differences and carry on. Somehow, just as with Zerin, our relationships grow ever more wonderful even when we are not at our best. 

There are people who enter our lives for a time and have a great impact on us but do not stay for the long term. They are important as well. They help through difficult moments or amuse us when we need to laugh. I am grateful for so many such individuals who influenced my thinking and facilitated changes that I needed to make. I have never forgotten them.

We humans are social creatures, even those of us who claim to be introverts. Each of us seeks the company of others who enrich our souls and with whom we feel as comfortable as a soft pair of slippers. We need relationships both deep and momentary. 

In today’s world it is all too easy to become immersed in a pace so fast that we lose the connections that bind us together. As we age we experience the loss of people who were important to our lives. We move forward and sometimes our friends become younger than we are, offering us alternative points of view that help us to keep growing and accepting the way of the world. People are essential to our lives and when we find the people who fit perfectly with who we are we should treasure and nurture them with all of our hearts.