Month: January 2026

Those of us who are speaking out are not people who make trouble. We are generally easy going, accepting and loving people. We are not generally prone to anger. We have proven our calmness in high stress jobs that demanded that we keep our heads cool. We are not agitators or members of organized groups wanting to overthrow the government. We are peaceful people who take care of people and understand that sometimes we have to speak up or watch others suffer because of our silence. 

The truth is that ICE is a very dangerous group of people who have not been trained in the normal ways of enforcing laws. They are hurting people as evidenced on one video after another. One among them murdered a woman in cold blood and tried to claim that he was in fear of his life when all of the evidence points to her keeping calm and doing her best to drive away from him, not toward him. Now our government is lying and blaming it all on her and even going so far as to investigate her spouse to determine if she belongs to a treasonous group. 

A young man lost his sight from ICE. He was attempting to help someone when ICE fired a rubber bullet into his eye. Now the twenty one year old will be permanently blind in one eye and once again the government is insisting that he brought it on himself because he was a lawless agitator. 

We keep hearing ICE and the president fomenting trouble, making up lies that we can prove wrong with our own eyes. We have not yet been blinded. We see what is going on and it flies in the face of everything that we have ever believed about our government. Telling us just to comply does not hold water because even people who cooperate are taken away and sometimes never seen again. Young people are being arrested at work even as they protest that they are American citizens. Old people are being shoved to the ground. Schools are being raided and ICE officers are invading homes. 

ICE is doing the kinds of things that the British soldiers were doing in the colonies when the American patriots revolted and let it be known that they had had enough. They knew that simply complying would only feed the king’s lust for power over them. So too are the protestors of today on the whole attempting to protect their neighbors and to shed light on the travesties that ICE is inflicting on immigrants and American citizens. 

When our president lies in the face of videos that clearly show that he is wrong it is disturbing. Dictators and fascists use such tactics. They lie to the people so often that many come to believe what they are saying while ignoring the evidence that leads to the truth. Tyrants turn innocent people into enemies. They use fear to control the populace. Anyone who thinks that the president is actually trying to do something to help us all is being fooled. It is beyond apparent that he only cares for the power and riches that his actions accumulate for him. He is not kind or loving or caring. He is a bitter man who bullies much of the population and pretends that he is only doing what is best for our nation.

I am weary of waking up each morning and wondering what terrible thing he will next do or condone. His vindictiveness is on a non-stop power trip. He shows his true colors when he pardons rioters who trashed Congress, killed and hurt police officers and attempted to stop the legal hand off of power. He calls them patriots, good people but when the harmless people attempt to protect their fellow citizens he turns them into monsters and sadly many of his followers continue to believe him. 

I am sick of hearing that we will all be okay if we just comply. Do we comply like the people did in Germany when their neighbors were loaded into boxcars and sent away? How did that work out? Should we comply when he murders people in boats based purely on theories about what they were doing? Should we comply when our Constitution is being trampled and when he says we just have to trust his morality? Should we comply with a man who thinks he can do anything and get away with it or do we voice our concern, our anger?

I will use the voice that I have that is guaranteed in the Bill of Rights. I will protest with others who like me understand the stakes. I will keep warning even those who do not agree with me. Mine is not hate. Mine is a deep and genuine love of my country. This I know,…if we do not find a way to stop the horror now we may reach a point of no return in which we no longer recognize our democracy and we no longer have our freedoms. 

What is happening now is WRONG! The good guys are the ones trying to help us see what is really happening. We should all do everything possible to save our nation. Rarely before have the stakes been so high. Those of us speaking out are not the trouble. We are the solution!

My mother and father had a reverence for the United States of America. My father was an engineer by trade but an historian by choice. He filled his library with countless books about the great moments in American history. He and my mother were both proud of the way that their generation fought against fascism to persevere the rights of humans around the world during World War II. They often spoke of our democracy with a kind of awe that I accepted without much thought. 

For much of my young life I took my freedoms for granted. It was only when I went to college at the age of seventeen that I began to understand that the best aspects of our nation are constantly in a state of evolution. I saw that we all must be protectors of the ideals of the United States even in times of peace. As I approached history and current events with a more adult point of view I saw that it was not just okay to critique the problems that seem to be a common thread of the continuing story of the United States of America but it is our duty to continually strive to reach the ideals that our forefathers outlined even as they themselves were unable to reach perfection.

I suppose that because I was raised by a widowed mother from the time that I was eight years old I saw the strength in her femininity. I became a kind of fangirl for women who historically worked for the rights of all of humankind even as they were sometimes ignored. I voraciously read about Abigail Adams admonishing her husband not to forget the women while crafting the constitution for our new nation. I adored the fact that Eleanor Roosevelt was often the conscience and force behind so many of her husbands bold moves in recognizing all people of our nation. I admired the courage of Rosa Parks in refusing to give up her seat on a bus leading to a movement that changed the course of history for the children and grandchildren of former slaves. These women and more gave me a deep appreciation of my country and showed me how to use my voice to protect it for all. 

I am not a wild eyed revolutionary. I tend to be more of an observer than someone who takes the lead in voicing concerns about our country, but I treasure the fact that I am free to speak my mind. That ability provided in the Bill of Rights was as important when it first became the law of the new government as it is today. Throughout our history it has allowed every citizen to point to problems that they see and to bring their critiques to public discourse. It is a core element of our democratic republic that even a common person can note problems and protest with impunity. 

When I see American citizens protesting my heart swells with pride because regardless of what point of view they have, they are exercising a right that makes them free people. That freedom is what makes us great, not obedience to one way of thinking. The fact that the people of our country care enough to point out problems and to act to bring them to our attention is a glorious thing. I fill with emotion when I remember the people marching to Washington DC with Martin Luther King Jr. in a grand celebration of their freedom to struggle for justice for people whose ancestors were brought here in chains. Those kind of moments are the most glorious times in our country. They are the ones that puff up my soul with pride.

I have participated in three “No Kings” events in my hometown. I have marched through the streets with fellow citizens to bring attention to our concerns about the present troubles. We have chanted joyfully and brought flowers to the police officers guarding us. I have felt so much gratitude that I can partake of the privilege that our forefathers created to provide to each of us. My thoughts matter in the United States and I can voice them because of the brilliance of our founders. We are already a great nation and have no need to return to times when only a handful of powerful men ran everything. If we want to honor the ideas of the Founding Fathers we will surely understand that they never wanted one person to see himself as the ruler of us all. We should all be unwilling to devolve to a return to treating some among us as being lesser than the rest of us. When I march I feel the full impact of the United States of America and its promises of freedom from tyranny. My heart swells with pride and I feel that I am a part of the long historical arc of justice.

My mother’s eyes used to fill with tears whenever she heard the national anthem. She was the child of immigrants who taught her to enjoy and protect the freedoms that we have here in the United States. She cherished those rights and encouraged me and my brothers to be critical thinkers when it came to how to cast our votes. She taught us to study the issues and to never forget how fragile and precious our freedoms are. Over time I have understood her emotional reaction to discussions of our nation. I too feel the love for this country that keeps me writing about the issues that need to be addressed and marching with my fellow citizens to bring attention to our concerns. 

I am a mother and a teacher and I know that even the best family encounters problems. Each of us have different personalities, different dreams and beliefs. A wise woman allows those differences to bloom and flourish. Just as my mother so carefully raised three children none of whom are exactly alike, so it is with our nation of over three hundred million people. We are a glorious tapestry of backgrounds and cultures that makes our nation ever stronger and more beautiful. Our differences keep us from becoming static and obedient to the whims of any group or person. It is the reason for our success as a nation and it is a glorious thing. 

I am a proud American who will never be silent when I see glaring problems that must be addressed. When I exercise my Constitutional rights I am acting as a patriot, not as a dangerous dissident. Our forefathers understood that we need all ideas, not just one. They divided power between the three branches of government and within the voices of the people. It is our honor and our obligation to strive toward a more and more perfect union in the nation that we love. It is not just possible but necessary to so appreciate the United States of America that we are never afraid to point to its troubling issues. The ideals of our nation are still evolving as we learn the calculus of freedom that gets us closer and closer to perfection. We are the people protecting liberty and justice for all.

A wise friend posted a New Year’s Day message about self care that resounded with me. It went something like this:

Be willing to accept limits.

Use that heating pad when you need it.

Build your schedule around your actual energy level, not some demand that you believe you must endure.

Let your body be whatever it is telling you it needs to be.

Be truthful about your feelings and uncertainties instead of attempting to be a silent stoic.

Hibernate when you feel it is necessary.

Let January be slow and maybe a bit strange.

On most first days of the new year I find myself critiquing my flaws from the previous year and pledging to be my best self in the coming days. I almost always feel that I could have done more, been a better person, a more wonderful version of myself. I am loathe to admit that I am human until I get reminders like the one that my friend presented to urge each of us to allow our humanness to be okay. As another friend has suggested to me perhaps it is time for me to join the club dedicated to slowing down and still feeling good about myself. I keep getting messages from people who care about me that it is not just okay but preferable that I do what I feel like doing even if my only desire is to spend a quiet day ignoring the dust and the pile of laundry that will wait while I treat myself to just being myself. 

I spent New Year’s Eve with my brother and sister-in-law. We had a glorious time but also know the the coming year will be challenging for each of us. My brother has Parkinson’s Disease that is slowly but surely progressing. My sister-in-law was injured a few years back when she fell without any kind of warning and awoke to find that she had endured many life changing injuries. She and I are both scheduled for orthopedic surgeries this year that will hopefully allow us to move around without the ever present limps or pains that have plagued us all through the last year. On New Year’s Eve time stood still for a few hours while we simply delighted in just sharing a very quiet and low key evening in each other’s company. 

My sister-in-law is as brilliant in her assessment of how to live gracefully as my friend who left the post that I quoted above and the classmate from my past who welcomed me to the club of reality. All of them maintain that we don’t have to be always striving to be perfect versions of ourselves all of the time. It really is okay to admit that all we want to do is be honest in admitting to the slowing simmer of our lives. If truth be told none of us we want to impose unrealistic demands and restrictions on ourselves. We ponder the possibility that maybe it’s time to hire a gardener instead of spending hours creating a perfect landscape in our yards. Maybe someone else should clean our windows and haul the Christmas decorations into the attic. 

The fact is that my sister-in-law has been willing to sit back out of the limelight that she once navigated so well. She has a wall filled with evidence of her achievements and awards that she earned as an engineer at NASA. Now she is content to sit in her easy chair reading or enjoying the delight of watching her grandchildren at play. She has scaled back her life in ways that allow her to admit the she has entered yet another phase of living and she does not pretend to be someone that she is not. Her honesty shines through and makes her the smartest woman in the room. She is content to find happiness in the slow pace that she and my brother have taken. Her joys and her needs are now as simple as having a day without aches and pains and having a good book to read. 

I remember when both my mother and my mother-in-law decided that it was time to be real. They announced that they would no longer be able to host large galas and gatherings in their homes. They humbly admitted that they needed help from time to time. They honored their children by showing how much they trusted us to carry on as leaders in the world. They embraced their limitations with finesse just as my sister-in-law has now done. 

I recently had a luncheon date with friends who are my contemporaries. Each of them has changed the pace of their lives. They have transitioned to mostly doing what they want to do and not what they think that other people expect them to do. They are slowing down and loving life. They are eliminating annoyances and superfluous tasks they no longer believe are critical. They are finding happiness in the smallest of things whether it be finally making the quilts that they enjoy creating or taking short trips on a whim. 

I’m watching my father-in-law wither away in this moment. His downfall happened in the blink of an eye. Before that he forced himself into a daily routine that allowed no deviation. He tried to be the man in charge even as his daily habits became unsafe. He insisted with an iron fist that there was no reason for him to use a cane when his gait was shaky. He stubbornly drove his car when his reflexes were slow. Unlike my sister-in-law who is twenty years younger than he is, he insisted on being in charge, not trusting others to take on tasks that he should no longer have been doing. Now he is bedridden and must rely on people to take care of his most basic needs.

I see now that my father-in-law and I are very much alike in our hard headed determination to keep a strong hand on our power even as I preach my personal belief that there is a time and a season for everyone. Perhaps I would do well in this first month of the year to practice letting my perfectionism go and giving the younger generations the honor of my confidence in them. The world will indeed keep turning without my involvement in everything. As a lifelong learner I need to be willing to evolve like my friends and my sister-in-law have done. It is the wise and generous thing to do. Perhaps therein lies the pathway of the coming months of this year.

I once worked in a school that had a rough tough reputation. It was a fact that some of our students were members of gangs even though they were only in the seventh and eighth grade. They mostly kept their affiliations with trouble out of the classrooms and did their not so nice deeds after school and off campus. Still, some of them could be a handful in terms of behavior. They were often facing unimaginable difficulties at home and now and again they would act out, mostly by talking back to teachers attempting to control their outbursts. The language that they used was not always appropriate for a classroom setting, but rather peppered with expletives and words that made us squirm. 

I had a few encounters with such situations that I was usually able to tone down by remaining calm rather than throwing gasoline on an already intense moment. I suppose that my soft voice and the fact that I truly loved and cared about even the most difficult students provided me with an uncanny ability to forestall the worst possible situations and get back to the job of teaching. Sadly I knew that not all educators had the kind of self control that I possessed so now and again a tense situation would arise. One such thing happened one day during the passing period when students were moving from one classroom to another. 

I was at my classroom door when I heard a student and a teacher yelling angrily at each other. The student did indeed throw around some foul language in his audacious retorts but then so did the teacher. I sensed that the moment was getting out of control so I made my way down the hallway to see if I might help to cool down the tension that was brewing. Before I reached the two who were getting more and more shrill chaos broke out. 

The teacher grabbed the student by the back of his collar and without hesitation slammed his head against one of the lockers with a bang that made the whole row rattle. It was a shocking thing to see because every teacher knows that we are supposed to keep our hands off of our students. The only justification for being physical would be to defend ourselves but this student had done nothing to indicate that he was going to hurt the teacher. Before I could rush over the teacher then threw the young man onto the floor face first and put his foot on the stunned student to keep him from popping back up. 

My reaction was to run to the office to tell the principal what was happening. By the time that we got back to the scene the boy was sitting up and crying while the teacher was directing all of the bystanders to go to their classrooms and get out of the hall. It was evident that the boy had been injured so the principal called for the nurse and then asked the teacher to accompany him to the office. 

Before an hour had passed other teachers and many students had gone to the office to report what they had seen. Every witness insisted that it had been the teacher who suddenly lost his cool and purposely inflicted physical pain on the student. In spite of whatever had started the foray, the teacher had been out of line. 

I expected the principal to ask the teacher to stay home for a couple of days and then accept a write up to be kept in his file indicating that he had not followed the protocols to which we had all agreed. Instead we never heard from the teacher again. It would be much later, when I became an administrator, that I would find out that the principal and the higher ups in the school district had decided to cancel the man’s contract fearing that he was a loose canon and a danger to his students.  

I have been thinking about that incident as I watch members of ICE forcing often brutish behavior on their victims. Sometimes they go after American citizens, sometimes their targets are actually illegals. Many times their actions are brutal and not justified as we have witnessed in real time. The truth is that they should be able in most situations to do their jobs without piling on individuals and physically harming them. They don’t seem to have the proper training for their jobs and their superiors don’t appear to be inclined to punish them when they step over the line of decency.

There was a time when ICE agents showed up wearing jackets with official identification and lettering emblazoned on them. They were not in military camo with boots and masks carrying an assortment of guns that seem more like something storm troopers would have. Their tactics tend to be brutal and often done without any kind of reasoning. They are taking people out of cars just because they look like they might be illegal. They are rushing into schools and terrorizing both the students and the teachers. They are going door to door looking for possible illegals. Their methods don’t align with how things should be done properly. 

Other presidents, and in particular President Obama, have managed to deport more illegals than the present group is doing without terrorizing the population. We are not a nation of lawlessness. We should not have citizens cowering in fear of being unjustly detained or even hurt by ICE and yet even a ninety seven year old man like my father-in-law is now living in fear that he will be mistaken for an illegal because he has a decidedly Spanish accent. In truth he was born and raised in Puerto Rico where he has been an American citizen from birth. He served in the Army and fought in Korea. He like far too many others are watching the tactics of ICE and worrying that somehow they might be mistaken and subjected to the ire of an untrained and irrational person who gets a high on hurting others. 

It’s time that we call out all of the members of ICE who have crossed the Rubicon into a lawless way of doing things. If a teacher unable to control his temper can be fired, then someone supposedly enforcing the law who turns to violence without aforethought should not be on the streets of America. I challenge our president to request the members of ICE to take off the military gear and the masks and report for proper training now!

There are times when it is so difficult to understand why some people seem to have to deal with tragedies for most of their lives while others appear to be living magical lives. I feel a kind of sadness at this time of year when I see those who are suffering while the rest of us are enjoying the love and the laughter of our good fortune. 

I have a dear friend who has seemingly been the victim of one tragedy after another in her lifetime. She not only had to watch her beautiful husband descend into the clutches of early onset Alzheimer’s, but also endured his untimely death. When she found new love in the most unexpected way I was thrilled for her because she is a gentle and generous soul who deserves all the best that life can offer. I delighted in the photos and stories that she shared with those of us who are her friends. I saw the glow of happiness light up her smile and bring her back to a state of joy. 

When she announced that her new husband was very sick I began to worry for her again. Since that moment she has struggled with the reality that he may not make it and that her world was tumbling around her once again. With her characteristic devotion to God and to the people around her she has dedicated her days to being at his side, selflessly giving her love and comfort to him and praying that somehow he will be saved and she will not be left alone once again. It has been difficult to watch what is happening to her. If ever there was someone who deserves a break from tragedy it is my friend and yet things do not seem to be going her way in spite of her great faith and compassion. 

Sometimes it feels as though life is unfair. The distribution of difficulties all too often falls on the same people over and over again while others appear to be dancing through life without any kind of realization of loss or want. This is when I become particularly angry at people who pronounce that God has chosen them for his favors simply because they believe in him and pray to him. I wonder if they realize how hurtful their proclamations might be for anyone like my friends who has the most beautiful kind of faith that I have ever witnessed in anyone. Surely she is one of God’s most favored individuals and yet she is challenged over and over again with difficulties that few of us would ever want to endure. The kind of thinking that some are blessed and others are not surely must confound her. It certainly confounds me. 

I have to believe that God is with us but he does not favor one person or group over another. Otherwise how would we be able to understand why so many good people suffer? It is truly audacious to suggest that innocents are somehow to blame for their own misfortunes. Belief in God is not a contest in which he grants special favors only to those who believe. If that were true my friend would be living a life of total comfort and bounty rather than enduring one horrific challenge after another. 

I suspect that many people lose their faith when they hear someone justifying suffering by insisting that it is part of a special plan that will lead to a better time if one only remains faithful. As a priest once told me, “God does not work like that.” 

Just as my friend is a paragon of loving God with all of her heart and soul, so too was my mother whose entire live was tinged with challenges that would have broken most people. Somehow she kept God at the center of her focus on life. She did not expect special favors nor did she believe that God was doling out goodies so randomly that she was somehow passed over again and again. Instead she simply saw God as a spiritual being who guided her life to goodness and love. She seemed to understand that her duty was to be as good as she might possibly be without expectations that she would be rewarded in the earthly realm. She found comfort in her prayers and in knowing that suffering has been a part of the human experience for all time. She felt neither unfairly targeted with challenges nor envious of other people’s good fortune. She simply lived her life as it unfolded. Such is the way of my friend who somehow finds courage and strength in the most difficult of times. 

I suppose that when we pray for the people that we love our focus should not so much be about providing them with miracles or special favors but mostly about helping them to rise to whatever occasion he or she is facing. Our prayers should convey the message that we are here to help them navigate the most horrific storms in their lives. The idea is that they are not alone no matter how horrific the circumstances are. 

I think my friend knows this but she is also very human. There are indeed times when she is so weary that she needs a kind of promise that she will be able to pull herself up so that she might endure another day. She will falter but somehow she finds her strength over and over again. It comes to her in her prayers and in her interactions with good people who do not make her wonder if her bad luck has come through some fault of her own. 

God keeps her oriented even when she is so dizzy that she feels as though she has lost her way. We can help the most when we admit that miracles are not just goodies that some receive and others never see. Miracles can come in the form of just enough support to make it through another horrific day. Still, it would be nice if my friend somehow got a break from the sorrows that seem to follow her through life. For this one time it would be so right for her to be a favored one but I will only pray that she finds peace and harmony no matter what happens.