It’s okay if all you did today was survive   Unknown Author

Life is full of surprises. Some of them are good and others are a disaster. When we arise each morning we never quite know how things will pan out even if we have made careful plans. Things happen. The car won’t start to get you to an appointment on times. A family member is burning with a high fever that precludes attending the big event that you have been looking forward to enjoying. You put your feet on the floor and there is an inch of water caused by a pipe that broke during the night. The notice from your doctor that you thought would be just fine contains scary news. The phone rings with word of the death of a best friend. 

We mostly do our best not to fall apart when such things happen but sometimes it really is okay to feel the bitter disappointment or rage and total sorrow that sweeps over our bodies and minds. We don’t have to smile all the time because some situations are frankly awful. Nothing is more natural than reacting to bad news with a bit of negativity. Who says that we always have to have a stiff upper lip? We would not have the ability to shed tears if doing so was never supposed to happen. There are very legitimate reasons for allowing our emotions to escape into the light of day as long as they are not focused on hurting someone. 

My husband and I often joke that we are both stoics. Those who know us tend to classify us as strong souls who manage to navigate whatever is thrown at us. While we indeed find ways to deal with each situation as it arises we have also been known to actually react in not so positive ways whenever the art of living seems to be pounding us unrelenting. Some times too much is just too much!

I have a friend who has endured quite a bit of bad luck over the decades. She is mostly able to joke about the things that happen to her but now and again she wonders if she has some kind of target on her head that attracts trouble and difficult situations. I have to admit that she really does have more than her fair share of difficulties even as she does her best to gut through the trials that come her way. When she was caring for her late husband whose stroke kept him bedridden and unable to speak she did a yeomen’s job until her hip broke one day and she had to cry for help. Being brave in that moment was not on her Bingo card so she let all of her pent up emotions flow like water from her mind. It was something that she really needed to do before she would be able to keep on keeping on. 

There is a very fine line between someone who is always complaining about being a victim and someone who always attempts to be courageous even when a situation is becoming unbearable. We owe it to ourselves to be honest when the pressures we are experiencing become too much. It is important to know how to shift into survival mode even if that means closing the blinds and going to bed for the day. There is a time to ignore all of the looming deadlines and simply rest from the pressures that we are experiencing. 

I know people who are experts at following the messages that their minds and their bodies are sending them. They know when to step back for a time and pamper themselves with whatever will make them feel a bit better. They are perfectly willing to accept that none of us are super human and they feel no guilt in caring for themselves. 

My mother literally broke from the pressures that pounded at her. Through medications and counseling she learned to change her perfectionist tendencies and slow down the pace of her life. Her home became no longer spotless. She began to accept simple pleasures rather than striving for major events. She found joy in the smallest moments and understood that a good cry now and again is better than any medicinal tonic. There were many days when she celebrated just getting from morning to night. 

We all need buddies who will listen to our rants without judging us, people who will understand that sometimes all we can to do is get the poisonous thinking that is out of our systems is to let our thought run free. Those special people who will love us even when we are not so cheery are our true friends. They do not require us to always be perfect or to say and do all the right things. They are our refuges on stormy days and we know that we can trust them with the truths of how we are feeling. 

Get up each morning with resolve but also be ready to back peddle when the unexpected moments of life become overwhelming. Call yourself okay if all you manage to do on a really bad day is survive. Life is a marathon and sometimes the goal is is not to win but just to regain enough stamina to keep going.