Category: Commentary

My mother used to complain that I always wanted to fix things, situations, people. I suppose that I became a teacher because I have a personality that pushes me to repair hearts and minds. Most teachers are sensitive, compassionate souls who want to make the world a kinder gentler place. While this is not true of every educator, it is also a fact that many other people in our world also have what I call nurturing tendencies. When we see suffering, we want to somehow eliminate it. 

Most of the time the difficulties we encounter are spread out over time. Only once in a great while do we feel as though we are being bombarded by misery. I suppose that the present moment is one of those times. It seems as though good news is difficult to find under the constant threat of illness, death, natural disasters, wars, violence, crimes, injustice. It feels quite overwhelming just to read the headlines, and when we realize how divided we are in how to solve the world’s problems it becomes even more frustrating. It feels as though we first have to wade through lies, propaganda, and ugliness before we can even begin to help those whose very existences are reeling in disarray. 

I know that many of us have been feeling as though the world around us is in free fall, and our usual instincts to take charge are mired in confusion. No situation is as clear cut as solving a mathematical problem. There seem to be no totally right or wrong answers, or at least it is difficult to tell which is which. All of this leaves us with a feeling of being overwhelmed. 

I keep harking back to a time when a hurricane left our backyard looking as though a bomb had gone off. Our trees had been battered by the wind so badly that it was difficult to even walk through the jungle of huge limbs lying on the ground. The task of clearing and cleaning the area felt formidable until a wise person suggested that instead of making the entire project a goal, we should set forth to remove one tree limb at a time. I did not realize the wisdom and importance of that advice until I finally forced myself to begin. I ignored the enormity of the task at hand and simply chose one limb on which to work. I sawed it into manageable pieces and tied them together with twine. Then I moved my handiwork to the front curb for the garbage workers to carry away. I felt an enormous sense of accomplishment even though the damage had been so bad that nobody would have noticed that any work had been done at all.

I repeated this process over and over and over again for days and then weeks until one day only a single limb remained. I was amazed at how easy the task had actually been by breaking my labor down into manageable chunks. I realized that life often demands that we take just one step at a time until we ultimately achieve a goal. Sometimes I forget how powerful this process is, especially when it feels as though life is dumping all of its woes on us at once. 

Of late I hear about so many kind hearted people who feel overwhelmed by the sheer number and intensity of the problems that we face in the world. They want to do something to help to end the spread of Covid-19. They long to make a difference in the quest to heal our planet from the ravages of climate change. They grieve for the Afghan people and want to ensure that they will not become victims of barbaric vengeance. They see the suffering in Haiti and wonder how they might help in a meaningful way. They want to stamp out the ignorance, injustice and hate that they see sprouting everywhere, taking advantage of innocent people. It’s so much, too much, just like that huge pile of destroyed trees in my backyard. The tasks at hand feel impossibly daunting. 

I read an article yesterday from a woman who had a suggestion much like the one that I received years ago. She suggested that each person find the one thing that feels the most important to them, and then set small doable goals. Imagine the power of that process if each and every person were to do that starting today. All of that energy would surely begin to solve problems right and left. 

Instead of feeling angry, or stressed or hopeless we have to just begin somehow. Much like a friend whose son was murdered, we have to take tiny steps each day until one day the boulder that seemed to be blocking us from achieving a purpose has been lifted by all of the tiny pebbles that we balanced it with over time. 

This idea is not unique to me. I have heard such things before when things were difficult, and I have had success in following such wisdom.  How do you round up a herd of cats? The answer is by catching each cat one at a time. We may not be able to spoon out all of the water in the ocean alone, but we can accomplish more than we think if we just stay positive and greet each day with determination to spread the goodness in our hearts. Ignore the hateful chatter. Follow your heart, do small act regularly, and one day this too will have passed.

Two weeks ago I went to see a doctor about my torn rotator cuff. The Smith Tower medical building where he works was wide open and relaxed. We had to wear masks, but generally the anxious feeling that had pervaded the place during the summer and fall of a year ago was gone. Yesterday I went back to see another doctor for an annual checkup and the entire atmosphere had changed. 

Everyone was still wearing masks, but in addition we all had to complete a health survey to get an entrance pass to the offices. Everyone was distancing once again and many of the people working there were wearing the double protection of masks as well as face screens. The sense of anxiety was palatable from both the medical personnel and the patients. It was an icky feeling given the joy of freedom from the virus that the vaccines brought last spring. The doctor was once again urging me to be careful and insisting that I avoid certain situations including teaching in person this year as I have planned. 

I’ve now had two doctors insist that it is to the benefit of my students, in addition to myself, to have virtual classes. Last year they were more concerned with me given my age. Now they worry that there might be an outbreak in families if any of us accidentally brings the virus into our gatherings. I am saddened that we have come to this point once again. 

On the way home from my visit with the doctor I drove past an area where vaccines were being provided. For weeks there have only been a couple of cars in the vast parking lot. Today the line stretched way out into the street. The county is giving everyone who gets a vaccine $100 which may account for the sudden interest, but I really think that there is a kind of fear of the virus that has been resurrected in just the last two weeks as cases and deaths rise in our area. 

I signed up for a continuing education class in Victorian history at Rice University in June. At that time the sessions were going to be held on campus, and I was looking forward to getting out and about on those days. A couple of days ago I received an email announcing that all of the classes will now be virtual. I was saddened, but I also understood. I know that the courses I took last year were just as good on Zoom as they would have been in person, and since our professor is older like I am, I would not want him or anyone else to get sick even with a less serious case of Covid.

I worried about how the parents of my students would react when I told them that I was reverting to virtual learning again. I was concerned that they would be upset. Instead they appeared to be relieved that I had made the decision to be cautious. They expressed anxieties of their own that they did not have a year ago when children were not being affected by the virus. 

My doctor asked me if I had been anxious or depressed of late. I admitted that I was indeed feeling more out of sorts than ever because it feels as though someone has burst the balloon of freedom that had felt so great. When I received my last vaccine in February I literally cried tears of joy. I felt that I had just experienced a miracle and that by this time we would all be feeling free to enjoy a semblance of normalcy. I had assumed that more people would believe in the vaccine like I do, and race to get the free shot that would change their lives. I have been confused and disappointed that so many have decided that they will not get the vaccine either because of anxieties or religious beliefs or political ideology. I would never shame anyone for doing what seems right for him/her but some of their reasons for shunning this wonderful miracle have been difficult to understand. 

So here we are moving backward instead of forward in our progress in taming this virus. Now I am hearing that we may never reach the level of vaccination needed to stop Covid in its tracks, and so we may have to adjust to a new way of living and an acceptance of sickness and death as just part of our new way of life. So yes, I do feel a bit anxious and depressed when I think of such things, but I am still determined to enjoy each day. I’ve known all of my life that being flexible is the key happiness. I know how to shift gears in a flash.

Still, I worry about young people who are chomping at the bit to return to the way things once were. They are having to adjust to enjoying the important milestones of their lives in different ways. Some are even dealing with the untimely deaths of parents and friends due to Covid. Somehow it all seems the most unfair to them and I often pray that some of those sitting on the fence with the vaccine might do it for the youth of our world if for no other reason.

I still believe that we are going to ultimately get through all of the difficulties that are plaguing us. Things are bad, but people before us have gone through worse and still managed to move forward. We are going to survive but we will no doubt have to sacrifice. It would be nice if we can also be kind to one another along the way. That may require us to ignore some really bad behaviors, and try to just understand that not everyone deals with challenges well. 

For now I’ll busy myself with teaching my Zoom classes and taking the course from Rice that should be fabulous whether or not we are face to face. The fall will bring cooler weather which will mean that I will be able to work in my yard again. I’ll decorate my home and visit with vaccinated family members and friends in small groups with masks in place. I’ll do whatever I have to do, including taking one of those booster when it becomes my turn. Maybe by the spring things will be looking way better, especially if everyone, including our lawmakers, quits grinching and fighting, and starts thinking of one another rather than only about themselves. I think there are enough of us who want to do this that it will happen, and then things really will get better. 

Most of the time I have disagreed with a great deal of what Donald Trump has said and done, but I’m not of those people who refuses to acknowledge the good in the man. When he insisted over and over again that we needed to get out of Afghanistan I wholeheartedly supported him. He seemed to understand that twenty years of fighting a seemingly endless war was untenable, something that his predecessors had been unwilling to accept. Eventually President Trump, along with Mike Pompeo, brokered a deal with the Taliban to leave Afghanistan by May 1, 2021. While I felt a bit queasy about a peace treaty with a group known for terrorism, I once again believed that President Trump understood the Afghanistan way of operating better than most and so I actually celebrated his decision. 

It seemed to me that we had lost sight of our original reasons for invading Afghanistan in the first place. We had rendered the nests of terrorists less powerful and had even killed Osama bin Laden, but the war drug on in a belief that we might somehow create a democracy where warlords once ruled. Thus our involvement in Afghanistan continued through two different presidents for sixteen years. When Trump came to office he was as good as his word in finally achieving a set date for withdrawing from the region. 

President Biden would eventually announce that he was honoring the agreement but that he would mark September 11, 2021 as the day when Americans would be gone from that country. While I was a bit upset with the idea of providing an exact date, I was happy that our last two presidents had finally come to their senses as the other had not. Of course I had little idea how complex the logistics of such a maneuver would be, and I’m beginning to believe that those in charge may have been just as naive as I was. 

On Sunday, the government of Afghanistan completely collapsed in the most shocking way as Kabul fell to the the Taliban without resistance from the government. In fact, the president of the country had snuck out under cover of darkness. Chaos has ensued ever since and the opposing sides in the United States are standing in a circle pointing fingers at one another in hopes of placing blame. Thus far President Biden is bearing the brunt of the furor with even former President Trump insisting that Biden should resign from the presidency in shame. Meanwhile I am shaking my head in disbelief at the politicization of yet another issue in our country.

First of all, there is lots of blame to go around. It might be argued that President George W. Bush never should have gone to Afghanistan in the first place. If we had gone, then we should have left once the original mission was accomplished. President Obama first insisted that we needed to leave and then lost his nerve and created a surge in forces there. President Trump was able to get a deal and begin plans to leave but he was voted out of office before having the opportunity to meet the May 1, deadline he had created. We will never know if his plans would have gone any better than those of President Biden. Instead of all of the accusations and hypocrisy I think it would be best if we instead faced the reality of what is happening and worked together to get Americans and their allies out of Afghanistan as quickly as possible. 

Afghanistan has been a thorn in the sides of Britain, the USSR and the United States for over a hundred years. Part of the problem is that the country has a culture that is based on tribal and familial relationships rather than allegiance to the country. The people are more likely to respond to informal agreements with people like them whom they trust more than even well-meaning armies from foreign lands. The level of corruption among government leaders is difficult for us to imagine. Money and support that we send there does not always filter down to the places we intended it to be. The people are more likely to settle for relationships that preclude fighting when given the opportunity. It seems as though they are just as tired of the decades of war as we are.

The Taliban understands how things work in Afghanistan and so even before Donald Trump left office they began aligning with local Taliban chieftains who knew and understood who the elders were and which tribes to which they belonged. They did not suddenly overtake the country in a matter of days. They had been plotting and planning for over a year even while Trump was still president. I’m not sure why they did not choose to wait until the Americans were gone to execute their plans, but perhaps it was because they distrusted us as much as we distrust them that they took the initiative. At any rate the die had been cast already. The things that we are suddenly worried about happening to the women and girls of Afghanistan were inevitable as soon as Trump and the Taliban shook hands. What should have gone better was a process of getting key people out of the country sooner, but who knows if accelerating those logistics would have only made the Taliban react even more quickly?

What is certain is that the leaders of the government in Afghanistan, established with the help of the United States over twenty years and billions of dollars, was a cardboard sham. The fact that the president and the military surrendered so quickly is proof that none of the training and investments had worked the way we had hoped. The hearts of the people were not really in working with America to create a democracy. It would not have fallen apart so quickly if they had been willing to fight for it the way our troops have been doing. 

President Trump was right and so was Present Biden. It was time to end the war in Afghanistan as soon as possible. Five more years would not have made a difference nor would fifty or one hundred. I suspect that most of the people there just want us gone, and while I worry about how the women and girls will be treated I wonder if staying there would have made any real difference when we were not looking.

I am heartbroken by the scenes that I have watched unfold. I suspect that in our usual fashion we will direct our ire toward President Biden without thinking much about all of the others who have made horrific mistakes in Afghanistan that have led to loss of life. We won’t notice or mention that Donald Trump took down the messages on his website extolling the treaty that he had made with the Taliban. He and his supporters will conveniently forget about the photos of him with Taliban leaders at his home in Florida. They will hide the old tweets in which he chided President Biden for taking too long to retreat from the country. It will be more politically expedient for them to turn Biden into a villain than to suggest that they would like to help in speeding up the safe departure of those desperately attempting to leave the airport in Kabul. They will milk this event all the way through the next many elections rather than admitting that continuing our presence in Afghanistan for perpetuity would be a huge mistake. The only moral thing to do is to set aside the circular shooting match and help those who desperately want to leave. Those refugees must become our top priority, not making political hay.

I hope and pray that Afghanistan does not become a bloodbath. I pray for the people there. The Chinese and Pakistanis are already eyeing opportunities to bring their influence to the region. Even the Russians are considering another pass at using the country for their own purposes. Sadly the people have been pawns for centuries but we were never going to be the saviors that we wanted to be. Sometimes it’s important to know when to walk away, but not without protecting those who have helped us in the past.

I wonder if there will ever come a time when I no longer build the routines of my life around the school calendar. Each July visions of school supplies and planning sessions begin to dance in my head. I still clean my home every Saturday morning as though I will be busy teaching during the work week. I might go on a vacation any time of year, but I invariably schedule my escapes in June and July. I find myself searching for a comfortable pair of shoes that will sustain me when I’m on my feet for long stretches of time whenever the ringing of school bells echo in the distance. Teaching and learning are now baked into my very essence. It’s who I am, what I do.

Lazy summer days seem to have become shorter and shorter over time. Surely the classes only ended a few weeks ago, and yet many classrooms will be open for business starting this week. Some have already set routines and settled into the new year since early August. Along with the anticipation that usually goes with those new lunch boxes and freshly sharpened pencils is a kind of anxiety brought on by Covid-19. We’ve had enough of the virtual and hybrid classes of last year and desperately want a normal environment now. Sadly we can’t seem to agree on the best way to make that happen, and before we even begin there are worries added to all of the concerns that usually go with a brand new school year. 

We feel fairly certain that many of the students have fallen behind in their learning, but wonder if it really matters to keep up a pace that we artificially created in the past, or if we should just take each child wherever he or she is and continue building foundations from this moment forward without too much pressure on anyone to rush ahead. Somehow we have grown weary of testing and sequencing that often misses the realities of each individual. Is there actually a correct universal pace for learning that works for mostly everyone, or has the pandemic finally convinced us that we’ve too often rushed the process?

How do we protect our students this year and somehow ensure that we can keep moving forward without endangering the heart of our future that lies with our little ones? How complicated should we make the process of being cautious? Perhaps the simple idea of masking everyone is a perfect solution, but there are so many who are opposed to such things. How can we convince as many as possible to get the vaccinations when so many others are worried that the vaccine may be worse than the virus? Do we have the room or the energy to space our students apart? Is it just too complicated to perform contact tracing and keeping parents informed of outbreaks of the virus? Do we have the will to endure all of this once again, and what we will happen if we choose to take chances and be more relaxed? It’s mind boggling and the kind of thing that keeps teachers and administrators and parents lying awake at night in stark terror. If we don’t get this right, the consequences could be disastrous and we know it. Our educator instincts tell us to be prepared for just about anything.

I’ll be homeschooling and tutoring again this year. I know how to teach mathematics, and I somehow believe that as long as my mind is working and my health is good I have a certain duty to help as many students as possible until I am no longer able to do so. I’m mandating masks for my students and I will be wearing mine as well. If the situation with Covid becomes more dire we may switch to Zoom classes again until things improve. They were not perfect last year, but they worked, and my students and I know how to manage them. If anyone gets sick we may all have to stay home for a time until we can be reasonably certain that the virus is not going to spread. These seem to be good ways of being flexible and doing whatever may be dictated by circumstances. I have always operated inside the classroom with an eye toward adjusting to the way the winds are blowing. A wise principal taught me long ago to never create a situation that might paint me into a corner. I would hope that our lawmakers and school districts afford every teacher the same flexibility to address the situation that I will have. 

It often boggles my mind when I see how our teachers being taken for granted. Even with advanced degrees their salaries fall far below those of other professions. Substitutes often make only around eleven dollars an hour or less. Retired teachers find themselves working part-time to supplement their pensions, especially when they are single. In spite of these financial drawbacks dedicated educators come back year after year, not because they are incapable of doing anything else, but because they are devoted to the task of preparing our children for the future. In dire times like the ones we face for yet another school year they should be supported in every possible way, financially, emotionally and with the same kind of enthusiasm, that we afford other first responders because that is what they really are. They are the first response to one of the most critical needs of our children. 

Where are the freebies and universal discounts for them? Why isn’t there free college education for their children or at least interest free loans and grants? Surely we should be able to create thousands of little perks for our educators that provide them with the rewards that they so assuredly earn. Why should a teacher have to work a second job or live in a state of chronic worry about retirement or healthcare? If ever there was a time to recognize their enormous contribution to society it is surely now.

Best of luck to my fellow educators. Know that you are heroes upon whose shoulders the very foundation of society rests. My hope is that this school year will not be as stressful as last year. I wish you well and pray that everyone will value you the way you so surely deserve.

My husband, Mike, has always been on the forefront of technology. Decades ago we had one of the first home computers. It cost a fortune and did very little, but it did pave the way for better machines to come. I was the first person in my school to have an electronic grade book rather than a paper one. Mike created an individualized way for me to keep a running tab on student work and instantly know the most current average for each of my pupils. It was a great system that even created a weekly letter for parents with the current average and a list of missing work that I sent home every single Monday. I had to get permission to use my computerized grade book instead of the old handwritten one issued by the school district. Luckily my principal was intrigued by the program that Mike had designed, and liked that my students and their parents received a weekly update that seemed to motivate them to work to improve. 

Eventually all of the schools provided electronic grade books for the teachers, but none of them were ever as wonderful as the one that my husband had made for my specific needs. Still, he always insisted on having the most up to date equipment so that we might use the power of technology to do our work. When the pandemic came and learning became remote, I was able to transition into a homebound classroom with no effort thanks to his foresight. 

Mike has done his best to create a smart home for our enjoyment and comfort. He keeps up with all of the trends and gets a kick out of sharing ideas with others who have the same kind of leanings. He and my brother and a nephew seem to be in a constant state of upgrading and improving the smooth running of our homes through the power of technology. When it’s not raining once a day, like it has been of late, we have a regular watering schedule that keeps our lawn and plants looking green even when we are away from home. Alexa sets timers for lighting and sends us reminders of appointments on our calendars. Our Roomba, Reggie, keeps the house nice and clean with his regular schedule of vacuuming. We never miss a program that we want to watch with all of the recording and streaming services that we have. Our watches check our hearts and keep track of our daily exercise. Our phones map routes so that we no longer worry when traveling to unfamiliar places.

Mike is now obsessed with the possibilities of electric cars, solar panels, personal drones, flying cars. He predicts that our future will save energy while also making it easier for everyone to live independently. He’s already set up his father with multiple devices that allow him to feel more secure. He predicts that we have only seen the tip of iceberg when it comes to changes that will revolutionize our daily lives. 

I am not as excited about such things as my husband is, but I have experienced firsthand the joys of being on the cutting edge of innovation because of his interest in pioneering new ways of doing things. I’d like to believe that the day will come when even those who are unable to care for themselves will be able to safely continue to live in their homes with machines of all sorts doing the work to keep them secure. We can now vacuum and mop our floors and wash our clothes and our dishes, but what about having robots that will actually take dirty items to those appliances, and then return them to the places where they should be stored? Imagine always having clean clothes and linens without having to sort, clean, fold, and put away. I’d like to believe that it is possible to make such things happen. 

I dream of a smart kitchen with mechanisms that cook our meals while we are driving home from work. I’m not talking about a slow cooker or a timer on an oven. I’m going bigger than that, and thinking of a system that perhaps uses frozen ingredients in prepared containers, finds the correct ones that are somehow coded, combines the items, and then cooks them and has them waiting for us after our traffic battles on the freeways. 

Even better would be some type of smart machine that cleans up after we cook and eat. I think of no more dirty dishes sitting in the sink, or messes on the counters. Entertaining would be wonderful if we had a mechanical helper programed to tidy up while we sat enjoying our guests.

I used to scoff at the idea of some of the things that I now use on a daily basis to keep my household running almost effortlessly. I’ve become a believer in the power of inventiveness. Even though it was stressful, we were able to maintain the flow of the most essential services even during times of mandated shut downs through the amazing power of automation. People “saw” their doctors. Students still had classes. Necessities arrived at our doorsteps. We visited with one another through the power of video. None of it was perfect, but think of how much more difficult things would have been without the technology that kept us going. Now imagine what may lie ahead. I can’t wait to see the wonders that are coming our way.