Category: Commentary

The nineteen forty four movie Gaslight has become a kind of metaphor for our current times. The film starring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer is a journey into mental abuse using lies and psychological manipulation that cause a person to question his or her own sanity. In the story Ms. Bergman’s character begins seeing and hearing things that her husband insists are not happening. He suggests that she is not well and so she becomes more and more isolated until she struggles to determine what is real and what is not. The term gaslighting as it means today originated in the horror and abuse portrayed in that classic film.

So how can we detect when someone is gaslighting us and why would anyone want do such a thing? According to Prevention magazine there are six signs that something is amiss with the way a person or group of people are treating us. 1) The gaslighter tends to minimize actual feelings that people have. 2) He takes no responsibility for anything bad that is happening. 3) He lies so constantly that it becomes impossible to differentiate between reality and fraud. 4) When called out for his actions he denies any culpability and describes what has happened in a totally different way than others recall. 5) He often refers to those who express doubts about him as crazy, overly sensitive, overly dramatic, or paranoid. He creates an aura of self doubt in which up becomes down and down becomes up. 6) He is hyper defensive when he is questioned.

A masterful gaslighter finds joy in alienating people so that they soon find themselves withdrawing from each other. He gets excited whenever people choose him over friends and family. He insists that he is the only one who sees things the way that are while those who disagree with him see things in a totally inaccurate way. He accuses his doubters of being the bad persons, the actual manipulators. In fact he often describes his own thinking and actions as being the purview of anyone who points out his lies.

The accomplished gaslighter keeps the pressure on his victims until they are no longer believed. He turns the tables pretending to be the hero while destroying the person who is actually his victim. In a worst case scenario the person he is gaslighting becomes anxious and depressed. He increases the gaslighting to a point at which his targets are no longer able to handle the situation. They shutdown and avoid confrontation hoping that things will miraculously work out. Sometimes they even bow to his demands and lose all sense of self. 

If any of this sounds familiar to you then you must be like me in believing that Donald Trump has been relentlessly gaslighting our nation and the entire world for many years now. He is a fast talker who says whatever makes him look good whether or not it is true. More often than not his utterances are totally off the wall but if someone attempts to debate him he uses bullying tactics to shut them down. He has managed to make even other powerful people and institutions afraid of him. They cower in his presence often bowing to his demands for money or support. He has made our nation so sick that those of us who believe that we see through his web of lies often question ourselves when nobody seems willing to stop him. We wonder why good people that we know support him and many of his cruel demands. How is it possible that we are so wrong and why do we even question ourselves? Is it because we are all beaten down by this master manipulator?

I have done my best to stay abreast of the truth. It literally takes hours of my time each day to research every single thing that Trump says or does. He throws so much at as so quickly that it has become exhausting. There is a temptation to simply give up and just look away in the hopes that one day this will pass. The problem with that kind of attitude is that it denies us the opportunity to confront his abuse of every single person in the United States and in much of the world. The only way to deal with a gaslighter is to keep insisting on the truth every single time he tries to hide reality. 

Nonetheless I feel myself becoming more and more anxious, more and more depressed with the entire situation that is unfolding on a daily basis. I know that if I don’t engage in some self care that I will crack. I find solace in talking with others who have seen the truth and who are willing to stand up for what they believe is right. I helps me to know that I am not the crazy one. I am not the naive one. I do understand the danger of letting Trump run roughshod over our Constitution. I can’t simply accept his lawlessness so I join others who reassure me that I have not lost my mind.

My only hope is that one day the entire world will be willing to admit that Trump is dangerous and that each of has is wise is fearing what his power trip will bring to us. It will only be when something finally happens to alert the vast majority of Americans that he has been playing us that resolution will finally take place and we will be saved from his attempts to damage us. I just hope that it isn’t already too late for that to happen. 

It never ceases to amaze me how differently we each view the world around us. I learned a long time ago that the concept of one size fits all is way off base. You cannot assume that just because something works for one group of people that it will be embraced by another. Each of us come from differing backgrounds that make impressions on us as we evolve as adults. If our parents are strict but loving we may tend to also be strict and loving or we may decide that real love means giving children a bit more room to be themselves. 

Two people might be in the same family and still see things differently. I remember talking with a friend whose mother and father divorced. She saw it as inevitable and no fault of either parent. Her sister felt otherwise and was never able to accept her father when he married a new woman and doted on her in ways that seemed more loving than how he had treated their mother. My friend loved her new “mother” but her sister never accepted her.

We are all affected by our genes and every single experience of our lives. Each tiny event leads to the creation of a unique person with ideas and opinions that are deeply personal. In a healthy environment children are able to grow and flourish enough that hopefully they will be okay when the meet the world as adults. 

Personality tests abound and demonstrate over and over again how we differ from one another. We have a majority of extroverts in our midst but introverts are still there nonetheless. There are folks who prefer beaches to mountains, parties to quiet gatherings. Some of us read mysteries while others lean toward romance. We name different movies as our favorites. So it is with how we vote and which policies we like. In fact, even our Founding Fathers had conflicting views regarding how to create laws for the new nation. To this very day we argue about what is best for our democracy. 

I have to admit that I do not understand how anyone supports Donald Trump and his cabinet members. In my mind he is doing horrific things that are overtly racist and possibly illegal. He seems more intent on vengeance than working together to create a more perfect union. Just listening to him talk makes my skin crawl but he has eager supporters who continue to believe that he is one of the best presidents our nation has ever had. 

I listen to the people who agree with Trump because I want to know why they continue to support him. I mostly find that they see him as a brilliant businessman while I see him as a kind of buffoon who has endured multiple bankruptcies. To me a really good businessman is not someone who is a salesman but someone who understands how the world economy works and what our place in that sphere should be. Bullying is not a sign of making a good deal but there are people who would totally disagree with me and see Trump as the strong force that we need.

The people who speak with reverence about Trump truly see him as a godly man who believes that ours is a Christian nation that should reflect our belief in God. I’m a faith filled and spiritual person but I am of the mind that it is not my place to foist my religious beliefs on others. Relationships with God should not be made political. We should have room for people of all faiths and even those who are secular agnostics and atheists. I dislike using the name of God to justify the actions of our president and lawmakers, especially when they do things that seem a bit ungodly to me. Religion belongs in the home, not the government. 

I know that many with whom I speak believe that we have become too permissive. They want stronger rules with consequences for those who flaunt the law. Of course I understand the need for laws, rules, and even punishments but I learned as an educator that there has to be room for situations that don’t really fit into the norm. Sometimes it just isn’t right to send a nine year old girl to a detention center just because someone saw her brother’s cigarettes in her purse. So too, are there reasons for considering every case in which individuals appear to have broken laws. Sometimes that might lead to understanding that the law itself was bad end not the accused. 

People work hard and want to keep as much of the money they earn as possible. it bothers them that some among us seem to be taking more from society than they are giving. I too have sometimes felt that my tax burden is far too big given what I ultimately get from paying those bills. Our country was founded by people who were upset with excessive taxes so it is not unusual for us to want to control government spending even if it means taking from those who are poor. The problem with that kind of thinking is that it does not take into account why different souls need our help and the reasons are often many. I seriously do not mind spending the tax money that I give the government to fund education or to help a family feed their children. I am even in favor of a national healthcare program because I see far too many Americans avoiding doctors because even with high priced insurance they cannot afford the fees that they must pay. 

I try to be fair and nonjudgemental toward the people who vote differently than I do. I have lived through the presidential years of people that I never voted for and survived. Sadly, the Trump years are so different. I dislike him not because I am unwilling to see things the way his supporters do but because I think that he is destroying what is best about America for only three reasons. He does not want to go to jail even though he is a convicted felon. He wants revenge on Democrats who have not worshipped him. He craves the money and power that the office has provided him. I do not believe that he cares for anyone but himself, so I feel badly when I hear a very nice person lauding him. I believe that he will one day hurt his supporters as much as he has hurt immigrants, women, people of different races, education, and our standing in the world. I really do care about all of the people in this country and I long for leadership that feels the same way. For this reason I will always feel that Trump is a disaster whose policies will cause decades of damage.

My back regularly goes into spasms. My knees hurt 24/7. Pain is my constant companion but I will not give in to it nor will I give in to the authoritarian ideas of our president in silence, I am tough and feisty and far more determined and energetic than most people my age. I love the United States of America but I’m willing to admit that it has number of warts that need to be noticed and removed. I was born and grew up in Texas and was taught to raise hell when things are not fair and right now they are really not fair. I don’t know if anything that I think or say in public will make a hill of beans difference but I know for sure that if I and others say nothing we are going to get rolled over by people who care not a bit about those of us who are not in the upper echelons of income and power. 

I am one of the little people but I believe that I have accomplished more to help move our nation and my state forward than most of the elected officials. For the bulk of my adult life I have taught one child after another how to unravel the mysteries of mathematics and how to feel good about themselves.I have mentored teachers who became even better at doing the task of educating our youth than I have ever been. I have contributed greatly to the United States and Texas all for a rather meager income compared to the amount of time, energy and love I have put into my determination to enrich as many people’s lives as possible. 

I say these things not to brag but because I have grown weary of feeling beset upon by power hungry people in my state and on the federal level. I have lived a life of honoring the law, paying my taxes without complaining or attempting to get out of giving my fair share. I have tried to be as good a citizen and person as possible and yet at this moment the governor and attorney general of my state of Texas are doing everything they can think of to make my votes more and more meaningless with their audacious attempts to redraw the voting district lines to insure that at least five more Republicans will be elected for Congress. 

Only recently I was thrilled to finally have a representative in the United States Congress who genuinely listens to me. When I communicate with him I always receive a thoughtful response. He explains his thinking and mostly votes the way I myself would have done. This is how Congresspersons are supposed to be. The game should not be rigged so that even though I live in a city that is majority Democrat, most of our representatives will become Republicans just by changing the lines of the districts on a map. 

It feels as though I am in a game in which the rules change constantly to favor the other team. I have to run fifty yards to reach the goal post but the other guys have the governor moving the goal posts closer to where they are when it is their turn to seek a point. Their goal is moving closer and closer for them while men is moving farther and farther away. 

Texas is called a red state because years of Republicans at the state level have created districting maps that virtually guarantee that their people will win.I suspect that some Democrats have become so discouraged that they have just given up and no longer even bother to vote even though if they all did they might make upon our state government might look very different . The cities are demonized at the state level because they are filled with Democrats. The Republicans rarely mention that those cities also provide the bulk of funding for the state. God forbid that the people there would get a fair shot at having their voices heard.

I listened to a discussion about this on the radio and a person commented that the present apportionment of Texas Republicans and Democrats in Congress corresponds to the same ratio of those who voted for Trump or Harris in the 2024 election. In other words the present districts don’t need to be redrawn to provide Texas with five more representatives in Congress. Nonetheless a spokesperson for the Republican party argued that because some other states have more gerrymandered districts Texas must do the same to keep a national balance. I almost drove off of the road listening to his illogical drivel.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my state. It is big and beautiful and filled with good people. I can drive north, south, east or west and encounter a multitude of ecosystems that are stunning. There are green forests and sandy deserts, plains and mountains. Fifty miles from where I live there are beaches hugging the Gulf of Mexico. A couple hundred miles to the west the rolling hills are dotted with rivers that are sometimes lazy and other times perilous. Texas has whatever environment anyone may be looking for with a population that is friendly and diverse. Sadly our Republican governor and state representatives don’t value the idea of working together with Democrats to insure that our our state does not adopt a one size fits all attitude. We need to come together with the realization that each of us deserves to be heard, not bullied into accepting the will of one way of thinking. 

My roots run deeply into the Texas soil. I have spent my life loving this place and its people but in the past few years I have watched the majority of lawmakers in our capital city of Austin making laws that leave me and many members of my family out of consideration. In some instances they even hurt us. I get the icky feeling that the Texas Republicans want to silence my voice or at the very least simply ignore it. I sense that they are marching in unison toward a Texas that will no longer be as free as it once was all while doing everything possible to accept the will of Donald Trump.

I am clinging to hope that somehow, some way we will end this type of governing, but I feeling more and more discouraged. I  am approaching the last years of my seventies. I want to enjoy however much time I have left on this earth. This should be a restful time for me but instead I feel rattled by the chaos imposed by a Republican governor who is demanding that he have his way, a way that counts me out. In spite of how fragile and weary I am feeling I will continue to raise my voice to give notice that I am still here and that I and every single Texan deserve to be acknowledged. We are not just a red state. We are a grand state representing many colors, many thoughts, many philosophies, many divergent views. We are not just drones willing to curtsey on command. We want representation for all the people.  

Way back in 1989, there was an infamous investigation unfolding in New York City when a woman jogger was attacked, beaten and raped. Because crime was at a high point in that moment citizens demanded that the perpetrator or perpetrators be immediately found, arrested and sent to trial. In the hurry to make the streets safe again five young Black men were accused of the crime. They had been seen being rowdy in Central Park where the assault took place and even admitted that they had been there. After hours of being interviewed without their parents or an attorney the boys confessed one by one under pressure. Even though their stories did not match in many of the most important details they were arrested and tried and convicted.

The whole city of New York was in an uproar over the incident and one of its citizens, Donald Trump, took out ads in all four of the city’s newspapers under the headline, Bring Back the Death Penalty. Bring Our Police Back. His message to city leaders was clear: ”Many New York families – White, Black, Hispanic and Asian – have had to give up the pleasure of a leisurely stroll in the Park at dusk, the Saturday visit to the playground with their families, the bike ride at dawn, or just sitting on their stoops…. Mayor Koch has stated that hate and rancor should be removed from our hearts. I do not think so. I want to hate these muggers and murderers. They should be forced to suffer … Yes, Mayor Koch, I want to hate these murderers and I always will. … How can our great society tolerate the continued brutalization of its citizens by crazed misfits? Criminals must be told that their Civil Liberties End When an Attack On Our Safety Begins!”

The five young men who became known as The Central Park Five spent years in prison and fortunately were not killed by the state for their purported crimes. Later another imprisoned man admitted that he had been the individual who had attacked and raped the woman. DNA proved that his story was true and all five who had been falsely imprisoned were released, but the damage had already been done to their lives. 

I keep thinking of this event as Trump promises to take over the city of Washington D.C. His claim that crime is out of control is as bogus as the conviction of the young Black men in 1989. The truth is that crime in D.C. is at an all time low and there is no need from such a dramatic show of force. It appears that one of the young DOGE members was attacked and beaten over the weekend. He reported that some very young black kids who appeared to be around thirteen to sixteen years old were the guilty parties. So without actually consulting with the D.C. mayor or Chief of Police Trump has declared that he is taking over the city to protect the citizens by bringing in the National Guard, a move that is overkill given the circumstances. It is a tactic that he has already used in Los Angeles. 

In a press conference Trump suggested that D.C. is riddled with crime.”Our capital city has been overtaken by violent gangs and bloodthirsty criminals, roving mobs of wild youth, drugged-out maniacs and homeless people, and we’re not going to let it happen anymore. We’re not going to take it,” In the same moment he also said that he was going to remove the homeless people from the city as well. 

While it might appear to some that Trump is simply attempting to insure law and order and the safety of both citizens and visitors to Washington D.C., his hasty decision reflects a much darker side of his personality. If he had had his way in New York City back in 1989 those five innocent young man would have been put to death. He has a habit of shooting first and considering the implications of what he is doing later. He is playing a dangerous game only to impress his MAGA supporters by making them think that he has no patience with crime. The irony of it all is that he himself is a convicted felon and without safety mechanisms that have allowed him to have a fair trial and even time to appeal, he would not be in the White House now. His 34 felonies would have made him ineligible. The convicted felon is asserting his power mostly to take off the heat that is reflected in his low poll numbers. 

Trump seems to be reaching for anything that will take the concern over his tariffs and the revelations of the Epstein files from public discourse. Such maneuvers have worked for him in the past so he is playing a game of deflection that never seems to grow old with his supporters even when it should be totally apparent that he is running scared while attempting to play the tough guy. In truth he does not want us to know what is in the Epstein files. He does not want us to understand that he is not holding a peace talk in Alaska at the end of the week. He is meeting with Putin to look like he is doing the whole world a favor when instead he will likely try to sell out Ukraine. He does not want us to see his actions as cruelty or vindictiveness even as they are. He is small minded man who is undoing two hundred fifty years of our democracy and freedoms. We should all be adamant that we want his dangerous controls to stop now!

There are some who suggest that the takeover in Washington D.C. is only a trial run for the future that Trump envisions in city after city. We may all soon witness armed soldiers patrolling the streets of America. Will Trump evade any culpability that he may have in the Epstein case by throwing crumbs at the American people that he thinks will make us look away? These are things that worry me and they should worry every citizen who loves this nation. We can’t look away!

Most of us have heard the story of little George Washington chopping down the cherry tree and then admitting his guilt because he was unable to tell a lie. That tale actually inspired me when I was little girl. Even after learning that it is probably just a folktale I would like to think that Washington was a man of integrity even without made up stories.

Like most of us I doubt that George never fudgeed a bit with the truth here and there but on the whole he seems to have been a man of high character. A truly great person like Washington can be trusted to lead with honor and integrity. We all feel comfortable when someone has demonstrated their commitment to being forthright. Trust is essential in both interpersonal relationships and in our government.

There is no worse feeling than learning that someone has betrayed us with lies. Dishonesty destroys marriages, ruins careers, hurts the victims in profound ways. Who among us has not had that sick feeling of realizing that someone that we trusted has lied and cheated behind our backs? Most of the time when we discover extreme dishonesty we have a difficult time ever again believing in that individual.

Since we are human each of us may have fudged in small ways here and there. Maybe we withheld disclosure of a disobedient act from a parent. Perhaps we acted as though we liked a dish that was served to us in order to spare the feelings of the cook. At times we may have said we were feeling sick as an excuse for skipping a situation that we did not wish to endure. These are the kind of small lies that can usually be forgiven as long as they do not become a habit. 

When someone is continually dishonest most of us reach a point of seeing them as unwilling to tell the truth. The old Aesop fable The Boy Who Cried Wolf is a wonderful example of what happens when lies become so commonplace that nothing the person says is ever again viewed as plausible. We tend to tune such folks out and more often than not and sometimes remove them from our list of friends. 

Because turning our backs on chronic liars is generally how we react, I have yet to understand why millions of people continue to believe the constant stream of lies that flow from the mouth of Donald Trump. It’s easy enough to fact check what he says and doing so reveals that he all too often makes up things on the spot. He boasts about successes that do not exist. He blames others for things that he has done. He sees the world through a lens of anger, greed, cruelty and vengeance so he tells untruths to support his own sick visions. 

Donals Trump surely knows that he did not win the 2020 presidential election and yet he still peddles that falsehood as though he is a victim of unfairness. He pretends that the attack on the Capitol on January 6, 2021 was a travesty only imagined by people out to get him. He tells us that up is down and many believe him. He bullies the media when he does not like the facts that they present. He cloaks his every word in deep dark deception. 

I frankly will never comprehend why Donald Trump, a convicted felon, is not in prison. I do not understand how he was even allowed to run for president again after all of the lies that he has told. I am profoundly shocked that the Supreme Court would even consider giving such a dishonest person immunity for acts performed as part of his duties. Trump lied to us about Covid. He lied to us about his financial crimes. He lied to us about his sexual abuse of women. In spite of his dishonesty a significant number of voters saw him as being worthy of our trust by making him president one more time. Some of them even imagined that he was sent to us by God.

I weep for the Orwellian masking of truth that is rapidly making it more and more impossible to know what is really happening. Trump and his cult have gone so far beyond the traditional rails of honesty that he even fired a person who provided a true job report because he did not like the numbers. He wants to monitor CBS to make sure that they do not report anything about him that reveals truths that make him look bad. How did we get to this point and why are we not angry as hell and insisting that we are not going to take it anymore?

Richard Nixon was reviled and pressured to resign for far less dishonesty than Donald Trump inflicts on the American people every single day. Trump is a destroyer of worlds. He has turned the Oval Office into a mini throne room where he regularly insults good people seemingly for his personal enjoyment. He has torn out the lovely rose garden that was once designed by Jackie Kennedy and replaced it with a concrete slab that is symbolic of his coldness. Now he wants to build a ballroom that seems more compatible with Versailles than the People’s House. He lies when someone accuses him of wanting to be a king. His actions tell us the truth and that truth is a horror.   

I feel betrayed every single time Trump stands before a camera and makes up word salads that do not have an iota of truth. Mostly though I feel betrayed when most of the media goes along with him knowing that he is telling fib after fib. It’s way past time to hold him responsible every single time he utters a falsehood. We all have to have the courage to push for the truth. Ignoring him just gives him a wider berth. Fearing him insures that he will never be held accountable.