Goodness

aaeaaqaaaaaaaaitaaaajdzjzdrkywrilwjlngqtngrmoc1hyzrmlwi4ndk0mjzjymjmzqHe always seemed to have a smile on his face, an impish grin. He was a perpetual teller of jokes that made us laugh. He even filled our email accounts with hilarity that made even the most difficult day seem brighter. He rarely missed a special event and went out of his way to let us know that he cared. We all enjoyed his company and knew that he loved us and we loved him. What we did not know was how complex he actually was. We had little idea of the depth of his influence on the lives of people all across the city. We did not truly understand how genuine his faith actually was. He was exceedingly humble and rarely spoke of his good deeds or his beliefs. He was not just the same person as his words, but more.

He had been suffering for years but did not complain about his pain. His only goal was always to make each of us feel happy and loved. We did not know that he had been given a deadly prognosis many months ago. When his time here on the earth was drawing to an end he spent most of his last moments attempting to make us feel better about losing him. Then he was gone and we all felt adrift. We spent Monday and Tuesday laying him to rest but mostly learning how truly awesome he had actually been.  It seems that he had busied himself for decades making life just a bit more pleasant for virtually every person that he met.

He was enchanted by the Christmas season, his favorite time of year. Each December he donned a red suit and invoked the persona of Santa Claus for the children at his church. He took his role quite seriously, becoming the incarnation of the jolly old soul. His smile and his generosity was magical. It was as if Father Christmas had come down from the North Pole to visit with the kids but it was his giving spirit that lit up the room and it did not ever end there.

He was always only a phone call away from anyone who needed help. He responded to an SOS regardless of the time of day or the difficulty of the task. He made things happen with a determination that was unfailing. There were many souls who felt a debt of gratitude to him but he never asked for anything in return for his favors. He preferred the cloak of anonymity to glory.

He loved his family and His God above all things. He worked hard at his job bringing the same enthusiasm to his work that he gave to each minute of his day. His routine never failed to include prayers and devotions. He had a second sense about who might need the comfort of his unending belief in the Lord. Just the right words for an occasion would pop up on a Facebook wall or an email post. His sensitivity matched his sense of fun. He loved every breath of his life and inhaled his blessings with gusto while giving back even to those who did not return his favors.

When he knew that he was dying he did not falter. He believed that the very best was yet to come, the paradise of eternity. He smiled at the thought of the reward that surely awaited him. He was unafraid and even inspired the priest who anointed him for the last time. He was surrounded by family and friends to whom he had meant so much. He knew without hesitation that God was waiting for him.

The church was packed for his funeral. Those who had known him from childhood and those who had only recently had the honor of calling him friend spoke of his optimism and goodness. They remembered laughing with him and were able to recall times when he went out of his way to help them. The outpouring of love and appreciation for who he had been was remarkable. It almost seemed as if a king or potentate were being honored, or perhaps a saint.

We left his body under the shade of a tree not far from where my own parents’ remains now rest. We all believed that his beautiful soul was already luxuriating in heaven, a place for which he had longed. We were sad, not because we did not appreciate the reality that he was no longer suffering, but because we knew how much we would miss him. We had learned just how real he truly was. We worried a bit that our lives would never be quite the same without having him around to enchant us. We suspect that our gatherings will be just a bit bleaker and yet even in death he has somehow made us feel good. He taught us how to truly live and we are certain that he wants each of us to take a chance on opening our hearts to everyone that we meet.

We all know of individuals who appear to be good Samaritans but are actually hypocrites. They put on a face of virtue but their character is only skin deep. Finding someone who never wavers from the path of righteousness is not an easy task and yet in this man we found someone who was the genuine article. For that we will always be grateful even as our hearts ache just a bit today. I know that I am the better for knowing him. I suspect that he wants me to remember his family for they are surely hurting. It will be difficult for them in the coming days, weeks, months. There will be moments when they think of him and long for him. They will need our support and sometimes just a friendly ear.

They say a good man is hard to find and yet so many of us realize that we knew one in knowing him. I suspect that he will continue to watch over us just as he did while he was still on this earth. He will be a heavenly guardian angel now instead of an earthly one. One day perhaps the heavy feelings that now envelop us will be gone. I can only pray that we will never forget his example and the message of hope that he gave us.

This man taught us that a good life has little to do with possessions. Those things are fleeting and of little worth. All we need embrace are the people that we encounter as we go about the living of each day. If we truly and faithfully trust in God just as he did we will receive the best possible rewards and our impact will have been immeasurable.

The Letter

aid1022005-728px-mail-a-letter-step-1Many years ago I wrote a letter to the pastor of my church to lodge a complaint. There is nothing unusual about doing such a thing. I suspect that parishioners do so all of the time. Still I felt a bit uncomfortable about what I had done on the spur of the moment after attending services one Sunday. If I’d been able to climb into the mailbox to retrieve the note I would have. With the damage already done I stewed for days over how the kind priest would take my comments and worried that I would never again be able to face him without a strong tinge of embarrassment. When my phone rang one afternoon and the good Father greeted me on the other end of the line I was breathless. I thought that he had surely telephoned to upbraid me for my audacious remarks.

The content of my letter derived from many weeks of listening to one of the church deacons harangue those of us in attendance at the Sunday gathering for being sinners. I realize that such tongue lashings are actually commonplace in many Christian sects but I am a Catholic and had grown up hearing kinder, gentler sermons that were positive and up-lifting. I had explained that I often came to church weary from the challenges of daily living and expected to feel renewed at the end of the experience, not beaten down even more. I complained that the constant guilt trips coming from the deacon were disheartening and that if they continued I would be forced to seek another church. I had recorded my thoughts after a bruising account of just how sin-filled we humans are. Somehow when I heard the kind and soothing voice of the priest asking if he might come to my home to talk with me I was certain that I wouldn’t have to take the initiative of finding another place of worship. I began to mentally anticipate the excommunication from the parish which he was sure to deliver to me.

I was a nervous wreck by the time that my doorbell rang at the time that Father and I had agreed upon. I had made a pot of coffee and baked some cookies hoping to dispel some of the anger that I believed was about to descend upon my house. I did my best to cover my nervousness with a weak smile as I let the pastor inside.

We sat in my living room chatting about the weather and other such trivial things for a time and then the priest took the paper with my handwriting on it from inside his coat pocket. My heart was beating so quickly that I was certain that I was going to have a heart attack and he would to have to administer the last rites before I died right then and there. Instead he rather quietly smiled at me and said that he had been taken by the courage that writing such a thoughtful piece must have taken. He noted that he had felt and understood the honesty of my critique and actually agreed with the majority of my thoughts. He congratulated me for alerting him to my feelings rather than silently stewing in anger. He even noted that he had prayed over how to respond and realized that my concerns deserved a personal response.

I felt completely disarmed and relaxed as the pastor insisted that he was proud of me rather than being angry at my audacity. Then he told me how much he also loved and admired the deacon about whom I had complained. He laughed and explained that a great majority of the parishioners actually enjoyed the fire and brimstone sermons that the feisty speaker delivered and that he had letters from them to prove his contention. He told me that just as Jesus had loved everyone so unconditionally, so too should the church make room for all points of view. He had spoken with the deacon who was the subject of my ire and they had already agreed that perhaps he needed to balance his focus on sin with an equal note of the goodness that surely resides in our human hearts. He told me that I should expect to see a bit of a change in the homilies but that the essence of who the deacon was as a Christian would still be there. After all, he noted St. Paul was a firebrand and his letters to the people are still read today.

Somehow the explanation coming so wisely from our church community’s leader made sense to me. My fears evaporated and we spent the next many minutes just talking about my viewpoints and his. To my surprise the priest suggested that I become more involved in the life of our parish. He point out that the best way for me to bring about some of the changes that I sought was to counterbalance what I did not like by accepting a leadership role. He gave me a list of the organizations that he thought I might enjoy hinting that becoming a teacher of religious education seemed to fit me perfectly. He noted he liked the idea of having me influence the children with my more positive approach to religion. Then he walked from room to room in my home blessing the place where I lived.

I soon joined the teaching corps at my church and within a couple of years I was tapped to be one of the directors of religious education. I had learned a valuable lesson from the pastor that I have followed in all of my endeavors through the years. Namely, I realized that each of us has different ways of seeing the same situation and most of the time both points of view are valuable. I also came to understand that expressing our differences in a constructive way actually leads to the growth of an organization, not its destruction. I learned that staying inside a group that seemed quite different from myself was actually the very best way to begin the change process that I desired. The pastor had shown me how to lead effectively, how to maintain my personal code of ethics, how to be flexible, and how to make my own voice heard.

The deacon whom I had once disliked intensely became one of my dearest friends. I found him to be an remarkably sincere soul who actually believed much as I did but had a very different way of approaching the realization of our mutual goals. He was one of the kindest people I have ever known and it didn’t take long for me to understand why our pastor allowed him to do his sermonizing thing. There was great wisdom tucked inside his seeming madness. We worked together for years and tended to laugh whenever we reached a point of contention. We somehow managed to compromise just enough to both feel comfortable.

The election of Donald Trump to the presidency has reminded me of my own story and the priest who so beautifully included me and my way of thinking into the parish family. He might have ignored my soulful plea or even been angered by the thoughts that were so heavy handed and written in a heated moment. Instead he took the time to assure me that he served all of his parishioners and loved them as well. I still prefer pleasantries at church and in my diversions. I don’t like to be lectured in places where I expect to find comfort and escape from the stresses of my life but I understand the we each have a right to the ways that we feel. The priest taught me to open my mind and have just enough empathy to understand what prompts alternative ways of thinking. I can track the leadership style that I developed all the way back to that meeting. I would recommend that all of us, including our new POTUS elect, take a moment amid all of the sound and fury to at least attempt to work with one another.

Like Trump I would have been upset by being singled out for a critique by the cast of Hamilton but I also admire Pence for being more like the priest of my story in suggesting that democracy is enhanced, not threatened, by such moments. Now it is time for those of us whose platforms differ from Mr. Trump’s to find the areas of agreement and work from there. When he makes a move that worries us it is valid to voice our concern but we must also applaud him when he does something positive. If our only approach to his presidency is a continual barrage of negativity he will soon quit listening to our pleas. We have an opportunity to impact the trajectory of our nation. Will we leave? Will we incessantly complain? Will we search for common ground and move forward from there? The choice is ours. How we respond will either keep us at arms length or lead to compromises that will positively impact all of us. 

Be What You Want Them To Be

nature-vs-nurture-or-bothEach of us is a product of nature and nurture. Our genes determine the color of our eyes, the texture of our hair, our proclivities toward disease and illnesses. It is our environment from which our points of view and beliefs derive. Day after day we are exposed to people and ideas who influence our thinking. We pick and choose from the many philosophies that are presented to us. None of us are born being hateful or racist. Babies are as innocent as anyone might ever be. They love unconditionally. They are sweet and pure. Those of us who are parents, teachers, friends place our marks on a growing child until one day an adult emerges with a set of values that are an amalgam of many experiences.

I am not and have ever been an exact duplicate of my parents in the way that I see the world because I not only heard their thinking but also that of others who impressed me with their wisdom. I weighed what I heard with what I already knew and either accepted or rejected ideas. Thus it is with everyone which makes each of us a kind of change maker even when we may not even realize that we are making a difference in someone’s mind.

Little things affect us. For example I had a broken chair and I set about attempting to find someone to repair it. One person suggested that I simply purchase a new chair from him all for the low price of $375. Another took the time to track down the original manufacturer of the broken chair and in the process learned that it had a lifetime warranty. All I would have to pay to make it like new again was $20 for shipping. The first man was highly refined and worked in a prestigious store. The second man was decorated with tattoos and appeared to be less than elegant. Nonetheless he was the one who most impressed me and taught me once again to never judge a book by its cover. His honesty was inspiring and when I purchase two more chairs which I have long intended to do, I will buy them from him rather than the man who had little time or patience with my dilemma.

My simple encounter with the two men reinforced a particular way of thinking in my mind. It reminded me that character is something that can’t be measured by outward appearances, something that I learned long ago when I was still a fairly young bride. I was living in an apartment project when I met a woman from New York state who cussed like a sailor and trotted around barefooted most of the time with a cigarette dangling from her lips. She had a rather colorful background and was not like most of the people that I had previously known. I was fascinated with her and made an effort to get to know her better. I learned that she had a generous heart and she was a gifted artist. I know that some of my friends and relatives wondered why I hung out with such a seemingly rough person but they did not know her like I did. She was literally someone who would have done anything for someone for whom she cared. She taught me to have the courage to be myself and to think out of the box. She also showed me how to love and support my friends and family.

I have picked up nuances from many people all along the road of my life. My friend Pat opened up my eyes to the world and pushed me to enjoy experiences that I had never even imagined. To this day many of the routines that I follow come from the things that she taught me. Most importantly she demonstrated the importance of always putting people before things. Her door was always open to me whether I called ahead or simply dropped in for a chat. She would sit me down at her table and brew some tea and then give me her undivided attention.

I have another friend who is a real life Heloise. I can ask her how to do or fix anything and she has an answer. Her knowledge is encyclopedic and even includes having recipes at her fingertips. I often tell her that she should write a book or a blog. She has a very small income and still manages to live large with her ability to transform virtually anything from broken to a treasure. I can’t tell you how many times her homey advice has saved me from an expensive repair or parting with something that I love.

I have enjoyed listening to political discussions since I was a child. My relatives were rarely in lockstep with each other so I heard many different philosophies and have found pearls of wisdom in all of them which has turned me into a very independent voter who has never been tied to a single party or individual. Most people have difficulty deciding how to classify me because I don’t fit into any category.

I was raised in the Catholic Church and that upbringing had a profound effect on me but I do not believe every single teaching that I have heard. I have to politely disagree with admonitions against contraception, homosexuality and in vitro fertilization. I seriously can’t see Jesus worrying about such things given His tendency to repeat His commandments of love as the proper way to live. I suspect that my thinking was heavily influenced by liberal priests who focused more on how to treat people than worrying about judgements. As a result I am comfortable thinking for myself while still adhering to a faith in God and His role in my life.

I have no doubt that I behave and think the way I do because of millions of interactions with thousands of people, some of whom I don’t even consciously recall. All along the way I was cataloging the things that I liked and discarding what didn’t seem to fit my comfort level. I remember a humorous moment when my mother noted that she didn’t raise me the way I actually turned out. She was referring to my tendency to use rather colorful language when I am upset and I reassured her that indeed I had never heard such words from her.

Long ago I visited Chicago with my parents. While we were there I saw African Americans dining and co-mingling with whites, something that I had never observed in then segregated Houston. It struck me even at the age of seven that the people of Chicago were right and those in Houston were wrong. I even confronted my parents on this issue. It made me angry when they didn’t take my concerns seriously and only reinforced my belief that we must one day live together in harmony rather than in separate parts of town. I’m not sure from whence came my ability to think for myself but there it was.

I suppose the point that I am attempting to deliver is that we are quietly influencing others all of the time. They remember our kindnesses and our hurts. They hang on to our wisdom or shun our ignorance. We are molding others with the way that we behave toward them. It is not a purposeful thing, just something that happens in our everyday interactions. For that reason we should all be more careful of the impressions that we are making. Our children are learning more from what we do than what we say. If we want healthy happy individuals to evolve from their youth then we must act the way we want them to be.

Just One More

HacksawRidge_D33-15263.jpgFor centuries we have been sending young men into the abyss of war. Sometimes the causes have been noble but mostly the reasons for fighting have centered around politics that the average person found difficult to comprehend. History is stained with the very life blood of our youth. It takes great courage to volunteer to represent a country on a battlefield and even more to actually participate in a battle. It is something that most of us pray that we never have to endure and yet it has been a fact of history. Over and over again the treasure of our youth has had to bear arms against an enemy that they did not know for reasons that they may not have understood. We can almost all agree that war has and always will be hell and should be a last resort.

I am against all forms of violence. I think it morally wrong to abort babies, execute criminals and fight enemies and yet I understand that there are times when killing is the only choice to protect the innocent from danger. I am a conscientious objector up to a point. My faith tells me that if I have to choose between simply watching a despot like Adolf Hitler bullying his way across a continent or taking action to stop him with gunfire and bombs then I have every right to defend all that is good and just. I think that I might be able to set aside my gentle ways to stop such hate from spreading and I certainly commend those who put their very lives on the line in the call of duty. It is a sign of nobility to defend the innocent against aggressive tyrants and I often wonder if I would be capable of rising to such an occasion. I am in awe of those who find the grit within themselves to do so.

World War II was a nasty affair as are all wars but it bore the patina of being a just cause. Here in the United States virtually everyone in the country rallied to fight the despots from Germany, Italy and Japan. Young men joined the military at a fever pitch. High schools, universities and factories were emptied out as our youth eagerly volunteered to join the fight. Among them were my father, my uncles, and a young man from Virginia named Desmond Doss. What made Desmond a bit more unusual than most of his peers is that he was a Seventh Day Adventist who believed that it would be against God’s will to kill. Rather than registering as a conscientious objector and sitting out the war at home he decided to join with the intent of becoming a medic. With a kind of naive belief he actually thought that he would be allowed to accompany his unit without bearing arms.

His training for battle went well up until the time that he was instructed to choose a rifle and learn how to use it. When he refused to do so he became a pariah and the focus of a concerted effort to get him to simply quit. Somehow in spite of the bullying, insults and persecution that he had to endure he continued to insist that he wanted to be of service but simply could not and would not use a weapon. His conviction sent him to a military court where it was eventually ruled that he might be trained as a medic without bearing arms.

Doss’s battalion was sent to the war in the Pacific, a brutal theater where very different cultures clashed in some of the most horrific battles of that era. Their objective was to take a ridge known by the name of Hacksaw. When they arrived the fighting had already decimated entire units. The Japanese soldiers were relentless in their attacks and it seemed as though there would be no stopping them. Over a hundred and fifty thousand Japanese troops had been sent to keep possession of the area and so the battles were fierce. Doss followed his fellow soldiers as they attacked according to their orders. He provided medical aide to the wounded in the middle of a battle so bloody that it was almost overwhelming. Even after his group left to recoup for the night Doss stayed and rescued over seventy five men including some Japanese soldiers who had also been wounded. It was a miraculous and unbelievably heroic feat that earned him the respect of his brothers in arms. For the rest of his life he would tell of how he kept asking God to allow him to help just one more man to safety throughout that long and treacherous night.

Desmond Doss’s story is depicted in the movie Hacksaw Ridge, a brilliant film that brings us face to face with the sheer humanity of war. It is an homage not just to Doss but to all who risk their lives in battle. It slams the viewer into the visceral horror of fighting and asks us to imagine what soldiers have endured from the beginning of time. It forces us to consider questions of faith and to ponder our own beliefs. It is a brilliant work of art and a metaphor for both mankind’s brutality and its humanity. Through the eyes of a Godly man we see the chaos, fear and complexities of wars and those who participate in them.

I left the movie understanding that I had just seen something important. I was shaken and emotional. I thought of all of the people that I had ever known who had gone to war. I wondered what terrible and courageous things they must have seen that changed them forevermore. I realized just how fragile and strong each of us truly is. I was moved to tears as I pondered the importance of treasuring every life as a gift from God Himself. I worried that we humans have yet to find ways of resolving our differences without rancor and hate. The threat of war still looms in our hearts as long as we are unable to set aside our arms and our ugliness, as long as there is evil lurking on our planet. I contemplated our goodness as people as well. It occurred to me that there are individuals like Desmond Doss all around us, those who stand for something bigger than themselves. They quietly and peacefully work to serve us because it is right and just, not for glory or compensation. They are truly exceptional and they far outnumber those who would harm us.

Ours is a world of contradictions and uncertainty. We quietly wonder from one day to the next if we are truly living our best lives. We search for answers amidst noise and distractions. In the end we must do as Desmond Doss did in the middle of chaos. We must listen for the voice inside our souls that allows us to do just one more good thing, just one more.     

The Good Times We Had

65-yearbookIn a valley near the east shore of Texas

‘Neath the vast and the clear Texas sky

Stands a monument to honor Our Lady:

It’s our own Mt. Carmel High.

Though it’s walls echo cheers and much laughter,

It’s for knowledge and culture we fight:

For with each passing year,

Our love grows more dear,

For we’re led by that great Carmel might.

While we sing of the praises of Carmel

We are loyal to the old brown and white:

Though our mem’ries dim

We’ll be true to Him

And to Her of the great Carmel might!

By the 1964-1965 school year those of us in the Class of 1966 were coming into our own. Gone were our childish expressions, replaced by the conviction that we were at long last on our way to adulthood and positions of leadership. Our resolve was reflected in our eyes and in the way we began to take charge and work together for the betterment of the school and the community. It was a year of learning about the history of our country and understanding the chemistry of life. Algebra II introduced us to our first inklings of higher mathematics and in our Religion classes we began to discuss very adult topics along with learning more about the Bible. Some of us came early in the morning to take Latin III in addition to being introduced to German. We expanded our horizons with Art, Mechanical Drawing, Choral, Clothing, and Home Economics. We had learned how to balance the rigor of academics with the growing number of activities in which we engaged.

I finally turned sixteen in November but still didn’t get to drive a car. That would have to wait for a later time when the burden of paying for insurance didn’t fall on my mom. It didn’t really matter because so many of my friends were willing to chauffeur me to all of the wonderful events that we would enjoy that year. Father Shane still insisted that we attend plays at the Alley Theater and concerts at the Music Hall. Of course I loved going to those special presentations that were making me the citizen of the world that he promised we would become. I remember how he taught us to wait for the signal from the conductor before clapping and we always felt a bit smug when students from the other schools brought their hands together at inappropriate moments.

So many of us were now officers in the various clubs and organizations. I was the Vice President of the ever growing Medical Careers Club. Paul Colby and Harry Butler were winning first place trophies in Debate. Sixteen of us became eligible for induction into the National Honor Society. Our junior representatives on the Student Council were Jeannine Mandola, Margaret Rae, Mike Bole, Judy Loisey, David Patton, Janis Lowe, Johnny McAughan and somehow even I earned a spot with that illustrious group. A large contingency of juniors worked as Library Assistants and became members of the Texas Association of German Students. Interest in The CarmeLight newspaper grew by leaps and bounds with the sports section becoming particularly popular under the guidance of Richard Powers. Father Franz asked a few of us to become members of the Chroniclers Club to maintain the history of our school. (To this day I wonder what happened to the work that we did.)  Linda Derks and Judy Loisey were installed as officers in the Future Teachers Club while the Choral Club grew large enough to fill a set of bleachers. The Dance Committee planed events for Halloween, Christmas, New Year’s Eve and Easter. The Mission club quietly performed good works for people in difficult situations. MIke Petru was one of the leaders of the Science Club. The Cadettes continued their pursuit of excellence with Margaret Rae, Judy Loisey, Janis Lowe,Ruth Hoesel, Jeanette Mikeska, and Kit Lyle earning officer positions. There was bowling and a Camera Club and even a swim team. A number of juniors posted wins in the annual Science Fair. Ruth Hoesel and Janis Lowe were All Stars of the first place basketball team. Janis Repsdorph and Margaret Rae served as captains of the volleyball teams. Of course we all loved watching our classmates on the football field, the baseball diamond and the basketball court. Everyone was busy and having fun.

Two events that I always recall from that year involved community service. Each homeroom collected food and gifts for a needy family at Christmas time. The students in my group were beyond generous and I loved shopping for the turkey with all of the fixings that we would eventually present to our family. We had enough funds to purchase lovely gifts for every member of the family and sharing our own good fortune with those who had less made Christmas all the more meaningful.

The other big project was collecting enough contributions to purchase an International Scout for missionaries who came to visit our school. They mentioned that their old auto had fallen apart from long and hazardous drives in the mountains of South America. They needed reliable transportation to get from one village to another. Somehow we managed to collect enough donations to provide them with a brand new vehicle designed for rugged terrain. It felt wonderful knowing that we had done something so remarkable.

Lyndon Baines Johnson was inaugurated as the 36th President of the United States in 1965. There were violent outbreaks in Selma Alabama as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. led a procession of 4,000 from Selma to the state capitol of Montgomery. The Beatles and The Rolling Stones started a music invasion from England that would change the direction of music. Dr. Zhivago, The Sound of Music and Help were box office hits at the movies.

In the spring the Class of 1966 honored the seniors of 1965 with Davy Jones Locker a roast and a toast for the soon to be graduates. The nautical theme was spectacular particularly with the wit of Harry Butler who had a surprisingly humorous way with words. We were decked out as sailors and pirates as we gave our nods to each of the members of the class that had come before us. We also began tryouts for cheerleader with a huge group of students performing before the student body. There were even elections for Student Body offices.

I decided to run for Student Body Secretary. I wasn’t as well known as my opponents, Janis Lowe and Judy Loisey but I felt the need to push myself out of my comfort zone. I remember thinking that I was surely going to collapse from fear as I gave my speech to the entire school. My right leg was shaking so hard that I had to lean on the podium to stay upright. Once it was over I was relieved and proud of myself for doing something that had been so painful. I wasn’t elected but I do believe that giving that speech became in many ways the first day of the rest of my life because I was never again afraid to stand before a crowd and speak my mind.

We ended that school year knowing that we would return at the top of the student pecking order to begin our final year at Mt. Carmel High School. The time had flown by so quickly and we were poised to enjoy one of the best years of our lives.