A Gentle Warrior

13071824_10154767868523858_4628322278963228627_oAs we travel through life each of us builds special relationships. Sometimes we are surprised at the people with whom we become the closest. We have those unexpected moments when an unbreakable bond is created and we just know that a particular person is a kindred spirit whom we will love and treasure for all time. Thus it is with Johnnathan Lopez.

Johnnathan and I started off with a rather unpromising beginning. He was a student in a class that seemed hell-bent on giving me and all of their teachers a hard time. They traveled together all day long like marauders filled with mischief. They seemed more intent on being funny than learning. A few of the students saddled with the group struggled to behave, but serious was always a challenge. Somehow I just barely kept the crew progressing through the curriculum in Algebra I.

They were a bright and likable bunch in spite of their behavior and if the luxury of time had been mine I would have enjoyed their jokes and their contagious laughter. Unfortunately the clock was ticking and I had endless numbers of skills and knowledge to convey to them. I barely managed to tame them just enough to give them the basics but I always felt as though I was standing on a volcano that was about to erupt.

Right in the big middle of this raucous group was Johnnathan Lopez. He always bore a big, inviting grin and a likable personality that only encouraged his classmates to find new ways of playing with me. Somehow it was impossible not to enjoy him, or the others for that matter, even when they were pushing all of us to our limits. My only worry for Johnnathan and his classmates was that their lack of seriousness might one day land them in big trouble and it wasn’t long that very thing happened.

The students had been working on projects for the annual science fair for many weeks. The day before the event their teacher asked them to bring their completed three panel boards for inspection. She was using my classroom to house the overflow of work. Johnnathan was among the students waiting for her critique in a corner not far from where I was tutoring. When it came time for the teacher’s commentary on Johnnathan’s efforts he and I were both stunned. Essentially she informed him that he had not followed directions for the task and thus would receive a failing grade unless he made revisions. He had one night to correct his mistakes or accept the low mark.

Johnnathan’s shocked expression said it all. He saw little hope for changing the outcome and was about to toss his project into the trash when I stopped him and suggested that with a bit of imagination he might yet create an acceptable display. I gave him access to my computer, my printer and the different letters and colored papers that I always kept in my classroom. He worked until late into the evening and I stayed with him, offering suggestions and editing here and there. Eventually his project had been transformed and appeared to meet all of the requirements of the science teacher’s rubric. The next day Johnnathan presented his improvements to a teacher who was greatly impressed that he had made such an effort to make things right.

From that moment forward Johnnathan became more than just another student of mine. He and I had bonded over the anxious hours when he worked to resurrect what had seemed to be a worthless project. I had learned during that time what a delightful person he truly is and I also listened to the dreams that he had for himself. I decided that I would do everything in my power to help him to achieve.

Over the next four years Johnnathan and I would only grow closer. I was proud when he became the president of his class and when he landed a summer internship at a major law firm. He was blossoming into a young man on the move and a leader, sharing his goals with me as he ticked each of them off. He began to call me “Mama” and I in turn thought of him as a son.

Johnnathan headed to Manhattanville College after graduating from high school. It turned out to be a bad fit for his personality and the ultimate path that he hoped to follow. He came home after his first year feeling a bit defeated, especially when he realized that many of the courses he had taken would not transfer to other universities. He sought out my counsel and I encouraged him to find a university more to his liking and then just keep plugging along, reminding him that earning a degree is not a race.

My husband and I took Johnnathan to Texas A&M University for a tour. He was enchanted with the place and seemed determined to one day be a student there. He learned what they expected him to do to earn a spot in the student body and began taking the classes that they had recommended at Wharton Junior College. He listened and learned from his professors there and made exceptional grades. Before long he had not only received an acceptance letter from A&M but the University of Houston as well. When UH offered him financial assistance his decision was made. He became a Cougar and never looked back.

Today Johnnathan Lopez will graduate from the University of Houston Hilton School of Hotel and Restaurant Management. While attending college he started and ran his own business and interned with a major beverage company. He worked hard and with the same positive attitude that has always been his trademark. Along the way he and I met often so that he might keep me apprised of his progress. Of course, everyone that he encountered in his collegiate journey was as impressed with him as I have always been.

Johnnathan is someone who is good to the very core of his being. He is a loving son, brother and friend. When he sets his sights on a goal he goes all the way until he has achieved it. He has a heart that is courageous, generous and bold. I fully expect him to set the world on fire.

When Johnnathan worked at the law offices way back in the day, he was surrounded by outstanding classmates who were also there. At the end of the summer he was nonetheless the one with whom the attorneys were the most impressed. Several of them told me that they felt that he had a particular charisma that would always serve him well. I have to agree with their assessment. Johnnathan Lopez will soon be off and running and I dare anyone to attempt to hold him back. He is a gentle warrior with a determined grit that will not be discouraged.

My heart is bursting with pride today. Johnnathan overcame all of the obstacles that were thrown in his path and emerged victorious. He is the real deal. Watch out world because here he comes!

Watch and Learn

HappyFamilies_1920x856_article_image My mother used to instruct me to “watch and learn.” I took her words to heart and began observing people from the time that I was quite young. Sometimes I became so intensely involved in this endeavor that my mom would caution me not to stare. Others noted that I sometimes appeared to be in a kind of trance as I gazed at the passing parade around me and took mental notes inside my head. My tendency to be always alert to the actions and feelings of people has served me well. I have indeed learned much simply by carefully contemplating the images before me as I explore the world. It is a habit that both entertains and informs me.

I have learned over more than six decades that as people we are all generally the same. When it comes to our families, our longings, our needs it matters little what superficial external qualities identify us. Instead our true natures lie within. We are all made of cells, organs, blood, muscles, bones but our thoughts are what make us unique individuals. There are more aspects of our humanity that unite us than divide us. Underneath the color of our skin and eyes and hair is an innate desire to to love and care for one another. We somehow understand even from the youngest age that we cannot survive alone.

We all require the loving touch and concern that almost always begins with a parent. There are of course many different ways that families are formed and not all of them are healthy, but in the main our mothers love us from the very moment that we are conceived. They excitedly plan for our arrival and decide how we shall be named. They nourish us and follow all of the necessary guidelines to insure our health. They may talk to us or sing when they feel us kicking. We grow inside the comfort of their wombs until we are ready to enter the world. For many reasons we do not always have both a mother and a father and there are even occasions when our natural parents choose not to raise us. If we are very lucky we find ourselves in homes where we will be cherished and encouraged to grow into the adults that we were meant to be. Our families provide us with the safety, security and experiences that help us to flourish. We in turn may eventually become parents or caretakers of children and we unconsciously apply the lessons that we have learned from our own childhoods to the process of building new generations of strong and caring individuals.

While I have seen grave evil up close and personal as I have studied the passing parade of life, I have also noted that we humans are mostly good. This was confirmed for me once again at three different events that I attended this weekend. The first was an end of year band concert featuring sixth graders who had just completed their first year of musical training. There was an air of unmitigated joy in the atmosphere from the moment that I drove into the parking area where parents and their youngsters were excitedly making their way to the school cafeteria where the venue was held. Everyone was dressed in celebratory fashion and many people carried cameras to record the moment for posterity. There was an abundance of smiles and laughter lighting up the festivities. The love and pride that the audience felt for the young performers was palatable. I felt a sense of great comfort in knowing that family ties remain one of the most important forces in our society.

I saw a young mother wearing a uniform of the United States Army. She was beaming as she listened to the symphonic sounds of the band. I noted parents of many ethnicities who were all spellbound by the unifying force of feelings that make all of the hard work of parenting seem insignificant. It gave me a sense of great hope to know that the world is still a wonderful place where our babies enjoy so much love.

The following day I went to an Astros baseball game because my twin grandsons were going to perform the national anthem with their school band. Once again I was struck by the number of parents and grandparents who had come just to encourage their kids. The area where we sat was a joyful place, not just because the Astros actually won the game, but mostly because the families were so supportive of one another. Again there were cameras capturing the beautiful sounds of the young musicians and big smiles of pride lighting up all of the faces.

Yesterday on Mother’s Day I saw an effusive outpouring of love for the mamas. Everywhere I went and everything that I did convinced me how much we universally treasure our moms. There were so many visitors at the cemetery that it was as congested as the freeway on a workday morning. Entire families were meeting and placing flowers and balloons on the grave sites of mothers and grandmothers. While these were somber reminders of the impact that our mamas have on us even after they are gone, they said something about just how much we love the women who care for us when we are not able to do so ourselves. It also tells me that our society has not yet gone to rot as so many seem to believe. Our family values are still quite strong.

The makeup of familial groups may appear different from the traditional ways of old but the bonds are as unbreakable as ever. We understand that the people who devote themselves to our upbringing are the ones who contribute mightily to making us who we are. Each hug, assist, lesson, sacrifice, encouragement and bit of wisdom molds us and stays with us for all time. We remember the one who brings us medicine in the dark of night. We will never forget the person who consoled us when we thought we had utterly failed. We have an entire library of memories of our parents and the many times that they gave up their own pleasures so that we might have ours. So often the real best friend and angel that we will ever know is our mother.

Being a mother is very hard work. It’s filled with worries and fears of making terrible mistakes. It requires long hours and uncomfortable moments. Mostly though it is the most rewarding pursuit on this earth. When we raise up our children to the point where we watch them fly away, our momentary feeling of sadness is instantly replaced with the knowledge that we have done something very important. We have given them roots to keep them steady and wings to set them free.

In spite of the headlines that seem to predict the end of life as we know it, the reality is that the vast majority of the world is filled with good and wonderful people. I have watched and what I have learned is that our future is bright. It lies in the millions upon millions who still believe in our children. As long as such people are around things will ultimately turn out to be just fine.

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

teacher-apple-clipart-KijzBd5iqI would be remiss if I were to finish this week without acknowledging the many teachers who devote their time and talents each day to educating the adults of the future. Teachers have impacted my life from the time in first grade when Sister Camilla saw that I was a frightened and confused child. She took me under her wing and taught me how to read with love and genuine concern for my well being. Along the way I had a host of wonderful people who nurtured me and developed my interests. Mrs. Powers, Mrs. Loisey, Mrs. Colby, Mrs. Getz, Sister Wanda, Father Shane, Father Bernard, Mr. Maroney and Father Hilarion were among those who created a love for learning in me and left a lasting impression on my soul. I remember their lessons and the joy that I felt in their classes. So much of the person that I am today was carefully molded with their care.

As a mother I worried about the schooling of my own children. There were wonderful souls who shepherded them just as I had been. I needn’t have had any anxieties because my girls were given an excellent knowledge base from which they ultimately built their careers. As a family we all loved Mr. Beeson, Mr. Montgomery, Mrs. Wilson, Dr. Warner, Mrs. Pirtle, Mrs. Weston, Mrs. Stringer and Mrs. Thompson. I watched my girls bloom and grow at Jessup Elementary, South Houston Intermediate and South Houston High School. Their teachers were dedicated to making them strong writers, curious scientists and competent mathematicians. I rarely had anything but deep respect for each and every one of the educators who helped them to grow and mature.

Eventually I too became a teacher, spending the bulk of my adult life working with pre-schoolers, fourth graders, middle schoolers, and finally high school students. I loved every single minute of that experience and carry fond memories of my kids and their willingness to put up with me even on days when I had somehow lost my groove. It was hard work, but always rewarding. I made far less money than I might have in another occupation but it is doubtful that I would ever have felt as important to the grand scheme of the universe doing anything else. I always felt humbled and grateful to be allowed to work in perhaps the most influential profession that there is. For most of my teaching time I was a rather isolated soul. My days were spent inside a classroom over which I had domain. Both successes and failures were all on me. Sometimes it was a lonely existence. I often beat myself up, thinking that I could have or should have done better. I imagined that my colleagues were immune from the doubts that so haunted me. I sometimes became discouraged. When it became the vogue to create teams of teachers who met regularly I finally realized that most of the frustrations that I had experienced were shared by the others as well. We helped one another and in the process everyone was all the better.

Eventually I became a Peer Facilitator and then a Dean of Faculty. I missed the students but I greatly enjoyed watching the teachers as they worked to instill knowledge, skills, and thinking capabilities in their charges. I had never realized how many remarkable things were happening inside all those classrooms. I was supposed to be helping the educators but I found that every single time that I witnessed a lesson it was I who walked away with new ideas and information. I realized firsthand the extent to which teachers literally put their hearts, their souls and their passion into what they do. They worried incessantly about the extent to which they were making a positive difference with their pupils. They hungered to improve and to reach closer and closer approximations of perfection.

If all citizens were to witness the level of dedication that I saw they would end their negative critiques of schools. They would understand just how much the teachers care. It was rare for me to see someone who was lazy or who only worked for a pay check. That certainly happened here and there but for the most part teaching literally consumed the lives of the people with whom I worked. Not even the summer brought them total freedom from thinking about their jobs. Most of them enrolled in classes, taught children in need of remediation or created ever more exciting lessons for the next school year. Even on vacations they were constantly searching for new resources and ideas.

If you’ve ever been in a social setting with teachers you will have realized the intensity with which their students dominate their thinking. They literally focus entire conversations on speaking of ways to improve their craft. They are obsessive in their search for the best practices. Teachers think of their students when they first awake in the morning and as they are closing their eyes at night. Always it is with a sense of love and concern that they worry about whether or not they are doing everything possible.

I can’t name all of the wonderful teachers with whom I have worked. The list would be far too long. All I can do is remind them that they know who they are. We have walked together, cried together and laughed together. We have wished with all our being to be able to reach every student who sits before us. We have experienced days when we have been so weary that we wondered if we were going to be able to continue in this incredibly difficult career. Mostly though we have celebrated one tiny victory at a time. We have enjoyed those very precious moments when our efforts have brought a smile to a young person’s face. We have reveled in meeting our former students years after they have left us and seeing what successful human beings they have become.

Many argue over what the most important professions are. We certainly need our doctors and there are times when we would be lost without a lawyer. Our engineers create remarkable things and business persons keep our economic world running smoothly. When our cars break down we need a mechanic right away. So too is a plumber the person we wish to see most when our faucet springs a leak. Virtually none of these professions would be possible without teachers. Everyone who has a successful life has a number of teachers to thank.

This is Teacher Appreciation Week. I have a cousin who has showered her daughter’s teacher with adorable gifts all week long. I suspect that the lucky recipient is feeling quite loved. If you haven’t yet let one of your teachers or one of your children’s teachers know how thankful you are for the work that they do, it is not too late. I can attest to the fact that a quick email,a handwritten note or a sweet card will be treasured forevermore. Every teacher has a box of such trinkets and they mean the world. Take the time to thank your teachers. They need to hear the positive things that you have to say. Give them the gift of knowing that they have indeed made a very important difference.

A Modern Day Samaritan

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On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

“What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’;and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.” Continue reading “A Modern Day Samaritan”

A Wealth of Friendship

image001I am not among the wealthiest people that I know but if I compare myself to the entire population of the world I am indeed rich. I never achieved fame for the work that I did and none of my blogs have gone viral. Mine has been a rather quiet life, mostly routine and average. On the other hand if I were to consider the quality of the friends whose company I have enjoyed I would have to admit to being blessed beyond measure. It is in the people who have crossed my path and stopped to share extraordinary moments with me that I have become a woman of distinction. Perhaps there is no more interesting and accomplished person among those with whom I have shared a cup of tea than Seng-Dao Keo. Continue reading “A Wealth of Friendship”