All It Takes Is A Little Love

I have had the good fortune of being loved and cherished by the people in my life. Only one of my teachers was cruel and somehow even in my shyness and tendency to forgive people for their ugliness, I was able to see that she was broken. Because I grew up without physical or mental abuse I evolved into a confident woman who understood both her strengths and weaknesses. Nobody tore me down as a child or as an adult.

I met a kind man who whose mother and grandmother taught him how to love and cherish people. He understands that real male strength lies not in dominating others but in striving to understand and support them. He is a good man who became a great father for our two girls. He taught them how to honor themselves and encouraged them to be independent and courageous. 

In my profession as an educator I all too often encountered children being tortured by parents determined to mold them with punishments and insults designed to make them comply. Cruelty is all too often used as a cudgel to keep children towing the line. While physical abuse is always tragic, sometimes the mental abuse is even more damaging. 

I vividly recall a family conference with a young man and his parents that ultimately broke my heart. He was shy and unsure of himself even though he was extremely bright and creative. His father made it very clear in the discussion that he viewed his son as a “weirdo.” He complained that his son spent too much time locked in his room. Furthermore he believed that his son’s behavior was a sign of grave weakness and a lack of strong masculinity. He almost sneered as he addressed his indictment to the son who was hiding behind a mop of hair hanging over his eyes. 

I attempted to intervene as politely as possible, noting that the man’s son had become a leader in student government because of his ability to quietly listen to the needs of his classmates. I suggested that what the father was viewing as weakness was in fact an incredible ability to understand himself and the people around him. As I spoke the young man’s mother began to nod her head in agreement and at long last she came to the defense of her son by noting some remarkable qualities that he exhibited on a daily basis. She even suggested that her son was very much like herself. 

The father had become very quiet and I hoped that perhaps he was beginning to reconsider his estimation of his son. Instead he suddenly announced that he did not have time to discuss silliness any longer. Then he looked directly at his son and with a snarl announced, “By the way, I got rid of that damned dog that you brought into our house. I put him down today. He will be gone when you get home!” Then he stood up and walked out with a jubilant look on his face. He obviously believed that he had won a battle in a war that no doubt took place with even more horror inside the confines of their house. 

I felt gut punched in that moment. I had witnessed mental abuse at its worst. I would relate what had happened to the social worker in our school and I encouraged the student to be himself but I worried about what the ultimate effect of constant cruelty would have on him. It was something i had never known so even in that moment I doubt that I fully understood what being subjected to constant cruelty is like.

I have felt much like my student in the days, weeks and months since Donald Trump took office again. On a daily basis our president has done everything in his power to make those of us who disagree with him feel uncertain about who we are and what our future will be. He uses fear tactics to dominate us. We watch him being morally corrupt and getting by with it while we are trying to be fair and kind to our fellow humans. We watch him degrading innocents and seemingly enjoying the power of doing so. it is maddening and confusing because he is constantly messing with our minds. 

Whenever another person is devoted to gaslighting and manipulating others it can become difficult to carry on emotionally. His purpose is to beat us down just as the father of my student was doing. It is only in finding allies that we are able to see the truth and realize that we really are okay in spite of the attempts to portray us as somehow broken and even unAmerican. While we are determined to stay strong sometimes we literally have to shut down for a time, turn off his noise, pretend that he is not right outside our door chiding us for not being the automatons he wants us to be. When it sometimes seems as though nobody is calling him out for his outrageous behavior we now and again see heroes who clarify the existence of the cruelty that he is using to assuage his own weaknesses. 

I am at times overwhelmed with the ugliness that seems to have seeped into so many corners of our nation. I suppose that many groups of people look at me and want to remind me that feeling sidelined and demeaned is all that they have ever known. They are grateful for my support but tell me that I have come belatedly to the club that has always defined the uncertainty of their lives.

I know that I have been the fortunate one who must now find the fortitude to stand up to the immorality of it all even when the going gets tough. Together we must be the bulwark against the evil that Trump has made so commonplace. I know that I have an inner strength that came from the love and understanding that I have always known from the people around me. Now just as with that student of long ago who eventually overcame the cruelty if his father, I also must find the strength to push forward in saving our nation from a despot who wants to make us afraid.  

I grew from a child to an adult during an exciting time. The NASA space program was moving rapidly toward taking humans to the moon. President Johnson pushed through Civil Rights legislation that would upend the era of Jim Crow segregation. The women’s liberation movement was promising young women like me that I might be anything that that I wanted to be. Scientific research and discoveries were changing the world at a pace never before seen. We looked forward, not backward as we built safeguards like Medicare and Medicaid. Somehow the old rules of white male dominance seemed to be a thing of the past but if I had been a bit wiser I might have realized that not everyone was as excited about the changes as I was.

There have always been humans who envisioned a spherical world and those who insisted that the earth was flat. Even when we did successfully reach the moon and have photographs of our planet from space there would be people who thought that the whole thing was a hoax created in a Hollywood studio. Somehow there always seem to be skeptics who insist that pioneers in medicine and science belong in jail rather than in charge of our medical facilities and universities. They cannot envision the hard work and scientific methods that have pulled humans forward from the Dark Ages over time. 

Right now our government is being run by individuals more well versed in propaganda than scientific method. They question many of the advances that have led to longer healthier lives for humankind. Cancers that would have indicated a death sentence only a few years ago are now being treated successfully. Since World War II the United States has been at the forefront of scientific advancement and most of the work takes place in our world renowned universities. Sadly, the present administration is threatening much of the research that has been the mark of progress by removing funding for often frivolous reasons. 

I am very much a booster of forward progress. I am willing to pay more taxes to keep our discoveries coming. I remember children afflicted by polio. I saw my grandmother die of colon cancer in the most painful way. There was even a time when medications came without tamper proof packaging that led to a nationwide scare as Tylenol capsules were tainted with cyanide. 

So much that we now take for granted only came about because our government was willing to invest laws, time, and funding for important programs that moved us into the future. Of late we have become more and more attuned to the idea of reducing the taxes of even the wealthiest among us rather than attempting to pay for stronger better programs that we already know are providing better lives for most Americans. Somehow the fable of the tough individual who does not need the help of anyone else is very much alive and well even as it should be obvious that such a way of thinking might work for a few but rarely works for all. 

It saddens me to know that NASA’s budget has been cut to the lowest point since it came to be. All too often we think of space travel as a luxury that we might do without. We forget how much we have learned about our planet and others because of NASA. We don’t think about the many inventions that we use daily in our homes that came from the necessity of creating things that would work well in outer space. We have learned more about our geography and weather. We now use satellites for worldwide communication. The list goes on and on, reminding me of the old adage that sometimes we are pennywise and pound foolish when we randomly shut down some of the very best programs that help us all.

I find myself thinking of my favorite science teachers like Mrs. Colby and Father Bernard who opened my eyes to the possibilities of the world that scientific research creates. I remember the excitement that they forged in me by teaching me about the incredible inventiveness of humans and the power of our human brilliance. I find myself wondering what ideas will be overlooked if we continue to dismantle the genius of the past seventy five years. 

I wonder what will happen when we lose our best researchers to other nations because we destroy the programs that pay them to do their magic here. I worry that in our quest to cut this and cut that we will create a society that seems not to care whether or not we can all receive an adequate measure of care. How many cures will not be discovered? How many people will die because they do not have the means to pay for even minimal health services? Will people go hungry while the richest people in the world count their ever increasing piles of gold? Why have we decided that this is how we wish our nation to be? Why have we abandoned the progress that has defined our nation as one of the greatest places on earth?  Why are we moving backward rather than into the future? I simply do not understand. 

“The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil.” — Hannah Arendt

Hannah Arendt was a German philosopher and historian who eventually moved to America. She is most famous for her writings on the banality of evil. After witnessing the Nuremberg trials she noted that Adolf Eichmann, who was considered by some to be the architect of the Holocaust, was in fact a surprisingly ordinary man. She saw him as someone with little imagination who was intent on following orders no matter how immoral they might have seemed to be to most people. She wrote extensively on the lack of critical thinking that leads people to support toxic ideologies, noting that the majority of individuals who supported Adolf Hitler were generally devoid of the ability to analyze or assess situations to determine their rightness or wrongness.

As an educator I like to believe that I have influenced students to process information rather than blindly believing everything they hear or read. I have often warned them to research statements before standing behind them. I was taught by both my mother and my teachers to always take the time to analyze and evaluate ideas before following them wholeheartedly.

Firstly I want to get to truth which is often masked in propaganda. Then I need to know who is spreading information and what they may gain from having me follow them. Next I want to determine how certain beliefs will affect me and people that I may never meet. Only with much research will I be able to ascertain what should be the most appropriate way for me to either accept or deny the worth of what is being proclaimed. 

I am the first to admit that sometimes I fail to do my homework and all too quickly accept comments as facts without due diligence. Most of the time, however, I want to learn the truth and as such I do a great deal of reading and soul searching before arriving at a willingness to accept a particular way of thinking. I try to look at issues from many points of view, from an historical perspective and in how they conform to my moral code. Sometimes I find myself standing alone in defense of what I ultimately believe to be right. Often I advocate for groups being harmed even as there is no harm to myself. 

As a teacher and school administrator I learned that human nature is quite interesting. Some students and teachers thrive on rules and guidance. They prefer having clear cut instructions on how to always do things. They do not want a wide berth in determining how to proceed from one moment to the next. 

Others are inclined to sort out each situation individually, disliking the very notion of one size fitting all. They are not likely to automatically follow a leader or fall for trite ways of thinking. They are the folks who are always asking questions and demanding answers. 

I once worked in a school system that was filled with pithy sayings about learning and behavior. We were sent to conferences that flooded us with the beliefs of the leaders. Some of my colleagues followed with enthusiasm, some tended to just ignore the pressure to conform and others were loudly outspoken in their critiques. I remember a breathtaking moment when a brave woman ruined a presentation by questioning the school leader in front of everyone. I would learn over time that she was never one to follow orders blindly. She wanted to know why certain procedures had to be set in stone. Mostly she was the most morally grounded individual I have ever met. She was not someone who wanted to make trouble. Instead she insisted on knowing whether or not what she was being asked to do was actually good for the students or if it harmed them in some way. 

I have to say that I learned more from this woman than I ever taught her as I attempted to mentor her. She was steadfastly critical of canned thinking. She was as unlike Adolph Eichmann as anyone might ever be. She was unwilling to go with the popular flow. She had a code of goodness that never faltered. 

We are constantly being called upon these days to think critically before supporting particular points of view. It’s important that we do not become so banal in our lack of thinking that we become evil without even realizing it. If we are to have a political system that avoids the pitfalls and horror that have been perpetrated on humans throughout history we must take more time to ferret out the truth. That means that we cannot simply watch one news source or read the words of one person. We will only find truth when we are willing to consider that thinking in unison may actually be hiding evil and making us believe that those crying “wolf” are only trouble makers. The banality of evil is something that threatens us when we hear no evil, see no evil and do not take the time to determine who is actually speaking evil. It takes effort to go beyond just following orders, but the health of our nation and the world depends on all of us thinking critically. We have to actively make up our minds to choose good over evil. That will not happen without great care and thought.

When my grandmother was in her late eighties her beautiful blue eyes became cloudy from cataracts that she never bothered to remove. There was no Medicare back then and she and my grandfather lived on a rather small income, so I suppose she just learned to put up with diminished eyesight. Sadly it affected her ability to see when she was doing everyday tasks. We soon learned to be very careful when eating her food because sometimes things turned up in her dishes that were not supposed to be there. A stray bit of this and that found their way into what had before been her five star recipes. My mother showed me and my brothers how to be polite if we encountered something, but it made me sad to see her losing her sight. She was a culinary artist who also created incredible quilts, embroidered dainties and beautiful handmade dresses. Somehow all of that was lost for her in the last years of her life. 

My mother and her siblings never had cataracts but I knew that my chances of getting them might be affected by the fact that I seem to be quite genetically matched to my grandmother. Recently my doctor noted that I had cataracts forming on both eyes and before long one was ready to be removed. 

The process was incredibly quick under the steady hand of my ophthalmologist. It was the aftermath that required a bit more effort. I had to have four different kinds of drops put into my eye four times a day for a week. Then it tapered off until I was down to one medication once a week in the fourth week after the surgery. Additionally, I was not allowed to drive, bend over or pick up any objects heavier than ten pounds for at least two weeks. The doctor suggested that my best bet of a good recovery would be to spend my time reading and watching television. 

I certainly love to read and having an excuse to do so sounded wonderful, but I am also an energetic soul who was soon chomping at the bit to get back to my normal routines. It took a great deal of effort and patience on my part to just slow down and enjoy that fact that I would not be partially blind like my grandmother had been. I also had to learn how to chill and like it. 

I am admittedly concerned about the state of my nation, namely the United States, so I spent a great deal of time reading about the daily happenings. To say that it was depressing would be an understatement. I found myself uploading a great deal of anger as I learned more and more about the chaos that Donald Trump has inflicted on our nation. I began to worry if we will ever be able to stop his destruction and if we will be able to repair the damage he has done if and when his rule ever ends. 

I suspect that we are in for a season of hurt but there are also brave and patriotic souls risking their own safety by pushing back, launching legal actions and revealing truths. Among them is Stephen Colbert who has used his penchant for witty repartee to expose the weaknesses of our president. In the spirit of humorous individuals who have remarked on societies for all of human history, he found ways to unabashedly point out the crudity and hypocrisy of Trump and his minions. I have enjoyed his nightly monologues and admired both his brilliance and bravery. Accordingly I was quite sad to learn that his show will end soon and he will no longer be delighting us with his late night editorials. 

The bedrock of our freedom of speech has always been found in the wit and wisdom of authors, journalists and entertainers. Stephen Colbert is part of a long tradition of using humor to comment on society. Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, and George Carlin came before him and even in times past were not always given a wide berth to say whatever came to their minds. Nonetheless I had truly hoped that we had progressed enough that someone like Stephen Colbert would not be silenced out of fear of a president like Trump. Sadly, Donald Trump has shown over and over again how thin his skin is. He can’t take a joke or accept any kind of criticism. He hates Barack Obama because of a joke at a roast that made fun of him. He threatens over and over again to shut down people when they speak what is on their minds. He tells Republicans that he will come after them if they do not bow to his demands. He is an authoritarian whose playbook is filled with vengeance. 

I am incredibly disappointed with journalism and media today. Trump’s hold over what is said or published is unhealthy for our freedoms and our democracy. Whether he likes it or not we have the right to disagree openly with him. I would expect newspapers, media giants and individuals to stand up to him like Stephen Colbert has done. The temerity of our press and Republicans is frightening because if we do not all stand up for our rights, our nation is doomed. We cannot let this continue without protest and we should all know that. CBS can make whatever excuse they wish for ridding themselves of Stephen Colbert but we are not stupid. We understand what has really happened.

We’d better voice our disapproval now or regret our loss of freedoms in the future. This is how nations lose their moral compass and fall into an abyss of evil. History has shown us this time and again. Will we do what we can to make sure that it does not happen here or will we cower in fear while the country that we pass on to our children becomes forever changed.? Stephen Colbert showed us what to do. We cannot look away now. 

It’s difficult to describe why those of us who live in Texas treasure the Hill Country in the center of our state. Little wonder that President Lyndon Johnson enjoyed entertaining princes and potentates on his ranch in the area. The Hill Country is a wild and beautiful place that has enchanted those who visit or live there for decades. It has a haunting beauty but those of us who have grown old in Texas remember how rugged life can be there. It has historically been challenged by fires and floods, droughts and hardships. 

Many who live there have been living under a strict burn ban for years even as they understand that if the rains come in quick and heavy bursts flash floods may threaten the serenity that attracts so many visitors and settlers to the area. It is a little heaven on earth that can become hell in the blink of an eye.

A few years back there was a flash flood in a small town called Wimberly along the Blanco River that washed homes away from their foundations, killing multiple souls gathered there for a holiday. At a campground where my husband and I have enjoyed peaceful nights there are signs warning campers to leave immediately if a siren begins to blare. It never occurred to me that the peaceful little river running through the camp might be capable of becoming deadly but the reality is that it has done so more than once. 

I’ve also camped along the Guadelupe River which is usually known for its happy souls tubing on hot summer days. In some years he river is so shallow that there is hardly a trickle of water to move the bathers from one place to another. On July fourth in the middle of the night it became a deadly wall of rushing water that rose to historic heights in only a matter of minutes. The loss of lives and property has somehow put a sickening mark on the whole area that is traditionally a summer retreat. 

I’ll be heading to the Hill County in early August to do some dog sitting. My daughter’s home is located high in the neighborhood but whenever I go there I find myself listening for sirens proclaiming the danger of fire or flood. Both have happened nearby her place and sometimes I worry that one day her little parcel of paradise will feel the wrath of nature and climate change that seems to be getting ever more furious and dangerous with each passing year. 

If there are two things that frighten me more than anything it is being caught in a fire or a raging river. Either way would be terrifying to me and so I get a sick feeling when I think of the people young and old whose last moments were spent in such horror. Sadly climate disasters are becoming ever more commonplace and frightening. Areas that never before experienced devastation are feeling the wrath of storms and wildfires. Most of them are the truly beautiful places that have lured us to come rest for awhile.

I am one of those people who plans for difficult times. I was ready with masks and all kinds of supplies when Covid hit. Because I live in a town frequently plagued by hurricanes and storms I have a ladder that I can use to escape from the upstairs of my home if water inundates the downstairs. I have an axe in my attic in case we have to climb up there and get out by way of the roof. There was a flood in my area many years ago that forced people to sit on their rooftops waiting to be rescued. I learned from their stories that if they had not had something to create a hole in the roof they would have been trapped inside their homes. I got the supplies that I hope I never need after reading about that. 

I suppose that I may sound a bit neurotic worrying about such things especially by those who still seem to believe that climate change is neither real or a problem. I would say to them that we need to begin taking such issues seriously. Events of the present time are warnings for us all. We not only have the opportunity to prepare for massive weather events but we can also begin to do everything possible to stall the march of climate disasters. Our sacrifices might mean the difference between losing precious lives and saving them. 

Each year here in Texas I think of horrific events like hurricane Harvey that left Houston under water after five days of constant rain. I remember the tragedy of the 1900 storm in Galveston. Now the Fourth of July will be bittersweet as I recall the horror of the Guadelupe River’s impact on thousands of innocents. 

I don’t know what it is going to take for all of us to realize that we have to start investing in ways to prevent, predict and warn of the horrors that may come our way. Life is precious. Our land is precious. People don’t have to die unnecessarily if we make the sacrifices of taking precautions. The scarred terrain in what had once been a little Shangri-La should remind us of how fragile our earth and the people on it are. 

Meanwhile my heart is heavy for the good people who lost so much. We owe it to them to work to make certain that we will do everything possible to attempt to prevent a repeat of the horror they have endured.