The Heat of Summer

pc7rKeqXisunThe political scene has heated up with Hillary attacking Trump and Trump attacking Hillary. The Supreme Court seems to be handing down one split decision after another in the wake of Justice Scalia’s death. Members of the House of Representatives are staging a sit-in to force a vote on gun control measures. As a country we seem to be as divided as ever even though the vast majority of us are stuck right in the middle. In the past I might have commented on all of these very important and pressing issues, presenting my ideas for solving them, but I have grown weary of the political battles and now all I want is for each question to be settled in the ballot box in November. I have every confidence in the citizenry. We will ultimately decide the outcome just as we have for more than two hundred years. What appears to be the most terrible time in our country is actually a situation that has repeated itself over and over again just as those our brilliant forefathers thought it might be.

Our Founding Fathers were rebelling against an authoritarian government led by a king who wielded absolute power. They wanted to be certain that no one person or single group would ever be able to force their beliefs on the nation and so they purposely set up a system that would almost insure gridlock from time to time. They believed that changes would be inevitable but that they should occur incrementally so that we never throw the baby out with the bath water so to speak. Right now their ingenious plan is working as it should but slow progress and infighting can be quite discomforting to some among us. I actually find the situation to be a sign that our government is working the way it was intended. I take comfort in the belief that at some point in the future we will work out compromises that will fix things but not create a revolution. It’s what we do in the United States of America and in spite of flaws along the way it continues to work. Some will be satisfied with the results and others will be angry but the point is that our votes are ultimately heard and then determine the course of our history.

I’ve noticed that we Americans tend to get hot headed in the summer months when the heat fries our brains and we just can’t take it anymore, whatever it may be. There are catalysts that spur us into action. We push our representatives to present our differing points of view. In the end one or the other side will win or if there is no clear consensus  it is a draw and nothing is done for the time being until we can rethink the options.

The biggest issues right now involve guns, abortion, sexual preferences and immigration. I actually think that with regard to each of the arguments both sides have valid points of view and both sides are erroneous in some ways. In other words there are good and bad ideas all the way around. If we were willing to consider the interests of both proponents of opposition we would come up with plans that might be deemed satisfactory to the largest number of citizens.

Lyndon Baines Johnson was masterful at creating cooperation among lawmakers from differing sides. Some historians believe that the Civil Rights Act of 1964 might never have passed without his political acumen. Bill Clinton and Ronald Reagan both had great talents in those areas as well. Perhaps that is why we tend to see the eras of their governing as great times for our country. They knew how to bring the differing sides together and make everyone feel as though they had been heard. It’s difficult to imagine our current leaders or those now running for office having the ability to create majorities using members of both parties. We seem to be in the phase of “my way or the highway” politics. When we citizens have had enough we will vote for more moderate individuals who will agree to work together. Until then we’ll just have to sit back and watch the battles.

I have to laugh a bit because the men and women of Congress who are staging the sit-in and creating filibusters are being heralded by the media as great heroes and I tend to agree that that is so. Nonetheless, I seem to recall that when Ted Cruz convinced a cohort to do something similar he were accused of a being treasonous traitor. I guess it all depends on which side of the political fence one sits on but I believe that we need to be fair.

Insofar as most of the issues that arrive on Capitol Hill, I believe that everyone is a little bit right and a little bit wrong. Any thinking person has to admit that there are never quick and tidy fixes for anything. As an administrator I always found it wise to listen to the naysayers before producing school policy. They often saw problems that I had missed. Including them in the discussions and respecting their ideas generally led to buy-in from a greater number of people and a more positive state of morale. It is when managers not only ignore but also demonize their opponents that a kind of civil war ensues.

We have too many people right now craving power, legacies, history-making status. We seem to want what we want when we want it. The world generally has never worked that way. We have to think things through. I see the Middle East as a great example of what happens when a group of people overthrow the power structure without thinking of what to put in its place. Chaos reigns and nobody is happy.

It’s doubtful that we are going to witness a change in the political environment anytime soon. I’ll be patiently waiting for that to happen as I am sure that it will. We have some great men and women on both sides of the aisle and it is only when the majority of us are able to understand that compromise is the answer to our problems that we will once again enter a more serene phase of history. We humans can only take so much excitement before we demand peace.

In the meantime, I’m going to visit the holy grail of Texas politicians today, the Lyndon Baines Johnson Library. He was a President who was loved and loathed but he sure managed to accomplish much of his agenda. I suspect that had he not been saddled with the War in Vietnam he might have gone down in history as one of the greatest of our presidents. Sadly he chose the wrong pathway in handling that conflict which no doubt would have been the fate of anyone tasked with that onerous duty.

It’s going to be a hot summer for sure and the heat will continue all the way into November. God only knows what the outcome will be but each of us should remember that we do indeed have a voice. It might also behoove us to begin the process of healing wounds by respecting the fact that every man and woman has a valid right to his or her opinion. That is the greatness of this country and we need to be certain that we never let it go away. No one should ever be silenced. The most dangerous situation that we might encounter is a government in which we must all agree all of the time and where those in power punish those who dissent. We may want serenity now but we should place more value on rational discussions and efforts to compromise. That is the way our founders intended our government to be.

Unforgettable

1537701-1024x783-BLUE-MAN-GROUP-21aad0I went to see Finding Dory yesterday and I loved it. Of course it may be because I’m a huge Ellen Degeneres fan. Somehow she manages to make her character so real that I laughed and cried throughout the movie. I also happen to think that Pixar is one of the most magical places on earth and makes some of the best movies there are. I was lucky enough to get a behind the scenes tour of the headquarters in Emmeryville about four years ago from one of the programmers. He was kind enough to show us how a film is made from beginning to end. I nearly applaud each time I see his name in the credits. I feel as though I personally know a celebrity.

The story of Finding Dory is so wonderful on a number of levels. I won’t give anything away because I hate spoilers, but I love its central theme of family. We each have many families in life. There is the one into which we are born which is where hopefully we first learn the meaning of love and acceptance. I’ve been quite fortunate in that regard. Both my mom and dad made me feel quite special. They gave me a foundation of confidence and a sense of security but there have been so many others who have been important in making me the person that I am.

My extended family of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins always made me feel exceptionally safe, especially after a girl at school reminded me that if my mother ever died I would be an orphan. She asserted that I would have to go away to a foster home and maybe even be split up from my brothers. I had no doubt that someone among my relatives would rescue the three of us and provide us with a home. I never once worried about being lost and alone. I have always been grateful for them and I have hundreds of memories of great times with them.

Over the years I have developed such strong relationships with certain friends that they have come to feel like family as well. I often joke that I have a couple of extra daughters, little girls who spent so much time inside my home when they were growing up that I know them almost as well as my own children. I love them and I believe that they love me back. I would run to help them if they were ever in need and I know from experience that they will be around for me. In fact, they already have done incredible thing for me on numerous occasions.

I also have a huge family of former students who make me feel as though I am the real-life old woman who lives in a shoe. I have so many children, all of whom are now adults and doing well. I’d like to think that I had at least a small part in helping them to become the exceptional people that they are. I’m lucky enough to get to see many of them from time to time and share in the milestones of their lives. I’ve enjoyed graduations, weddings and births. Since life is never without its sorrows I’ve also experienced times of intense sorrow when they have been hurt and I’ve been devastated when they died far too soon. I worry about them and celebrate when they find love or success just as a mom would with her own brood.

I’ve also made developed close friendships along the way with people who are so wonderful that they have become as important to me as blood relatives. They often say that the beauty of friends is that we get to choose them. They are the people who are our kindred spirits. We feel as though we were meant to be with them through some cosmic force. No matter how often we see them we seem to be able to read their minds. We pick up our relationship again and again as though we had been together only minutes before. They make us laugh and listen patiently as we voice our cares and woes. Whatever we need they seem to be willing to give at just the right moment when.

Finding Dory is also about the special talents that each of us possess. It demonstrates that it is not our in our flaws that we are defined but by our unique characteristics. Each of us has something wonderful to offer the world. By joining together and respecting one another we become capable of accomplishing anything.

Again and again I have found that I am never alone even when I am in the most despair. There is always someone somewhere who will answer my cries for help. The world can seem frightening and cold hearted at times but I find that there is much more good than evil, much more love than hate.

I think that we are in a particularly difficult moment in history and it would be easy to feel alone, isolated and angry. Instead Dory, a little blue fish with a short term memory problem, shows us that we have many friends and different kinds of family who will be with us as we find our way. Because of them life is unforgettably wonderful and full of many happy surprises. 

On the Road Again

2016-KZ-RV-Vision-Travel-Trailer-ExteriorI have a friend who spends most of his time on the road, God bless him. I can’t imagine constantly being on the move. Whether waiting in lines at an airport and staying in posh hotels or road tripping in a car with a trailer on the back, it’s just not the same as being at home. It’s fun for a time but I soon grows weary of the surprises that inevitably come from continuous travel. I suspect that I am just not adventurous enough for such a lifestyle.

I’m sitting in my comfy, cozy trailer right now and worrying about dual problems that have developed. The park doesn’t have sewer services so I have to be very careful about how much water I put down the drain. I’ve done that before and it isn’t so bad but the second difficulty is more concerning. For some reason the refrigerator is barely working. Nothing is turning to ice in the freezer and the food in the lower compartment is sitting at a steady fifty eight degrees. Instead of doing the town, Mike and I have been trouble shooting all morning long and watching videos to see if we might perhaps discover a way to alleviate the problem. I have confidence in his abilities but in the meantime it is putting a crimp in our plans to have some fun.

This week’s camping experience was supposed to be rather uneventful since we are only three hours from home. Now I find myself worrying about another vacation that we have planned for next month. We are leaving on July 5, for a marathon trip through the southwest with Los Angeles and San Diego as our ultimate destinations. I suppose that it is best to find out before that excursion if anything is not working properly but it’s still a bummer. We have learned that owning a travel trailer is wrought with continuous repairs. The jiggling loosens parts and makes all of the appliances less effective from time to time. Think of what your home would be like if it were subjected to an earthquake every single day. Before long you would most certainly fall behind in the process of keeping everything operating properly. The last thing that we need on our future adventure is to spend time fixing things.

I’m also a bit concerned that the entire route that we have planned to travel appears to be on fire at the moment. I can honestly say that I am not a fan of one hundred plus degree temperatures. I find myself thinking that perhaps a change in plans that includes a journey to Maine might be preferable. Of course, there is the possibility that Mike and I will bring rain just as we always seem to do and thereby make things more pleasant for ourselves and the good folks of New Mexico, Arizona and California. I’m just a bit concerned because we are presently in Austin and the sun is burning without any sign of precipitation. I worry that our mojo may be gone. I made the mistake of wishing that the recent floods in Houston would go away and I eventually got what I wanted but I fear that the price I paid is that I am no longer a rainmaker.

I have to wonder why anyone travels in the south in the summer. I just spent several days in Boston where the weather was picture perfect. The days were moderate and at night all I needed was a light weight jacket. We spent our time outdoors along with everyone else who was taking advantage of the beautiful season. We didn’t mind waiting in lines to see the U.S.S. Constitution or to ride the swan boats in the park. The baseball game at Fenway Park was way better than watching the boys of summer in an air conditioned building. Somehow it all felt just exactly the way it should. Of course, the tour guide who drove the trolley that we rode through the town reminded us that winters can sometimes be brutal. I suppose that just as the Bible says there is a time and a season for everything.

Mike seems to have solved the mystery of the barely working refrigerator and it’s not so bad inside our air conditioned home away from home. At least the view is lovely and we know that at dusk it will be bearable down by McKinney Falls. Last night the area was filled with families enjoying the cool water of one of the best swimming holes in the country. Big signs warn of the dangers of jumping or diving into the water but that didn’t seem to deter anyone. I suppose that such admonitions don’t work until someone gets hurt but my grandchildren are a bit angry with me because I have told them that we will follow the rules. I’ve seen a few too many accidents with gorillas and alligators of late to ignore clearly posted warnings.

We’ll be off in a bit and as soon as we do something fun I’m certain that I’ll forget about the cares and woes of traveling. It’s funny how much one will endure for a chance to view something amazing and there are so many wonderful sights around Austin. I’ll set my crotchety mood aside for a good adventure any day. Still I wonder how my friend stays sane when being continually on the road. I guess it becomes a way of life but for me it would be a terrible cross to bear. I have become way too spoiled by all of the modern conveniences that are at my fingertips at home. Living out of suitcases and continually moving is just not my cup of tea.

Mike is draining the sewer tank into our auxiliary container so I suppose that my fears of having the toilet back up are unwarranted. I’m feeling a bit better. At least I don’t have members of the new Confederacy camping next door as I have in the past. The neighbors are pleasant, the flies are few and the cicadas are singing a lovely summer song. I guess that all in all life is good even far from home.

Our Fathers

father-son11.jpgI read so many beautiful tributes to fathers yesterday. I looked at photos and videos of the men who tirelessly dedicate themselves to their families. I must admit that Father’s Day has been a bittersweet event for me ever since my own daddy was killed in a car crash back in 1957, so when I saw a post from a young woman whose father died only weeks ago I empathized with the grief that she is still feeling. I viscerally understood her sense of loss. It is something that never completely goes away. Fathers are an important part of who each of us is and who we eventually become.

After my father died our family struggled to determine how to celebrate Father’s Day. There was a huge void in our lives that my mother tried desperately to fill for us but which she never quite accomplished. We had other male role models like uncles and my grandfather who were wonderful in their own right and did their best to watch over us. From them we learned how good men behave. We felt secure because of them and our mom. We used to joke that our mama was both our mother and our father and we often gave her a little gift on Father’s Day. Still in the back of our minds was a sense of regret that we would never really know our father in an adult way. He would be forever young and we would only know him in an immature way.

I loved fairytales and I identified with characters who had lost their fathers. I suppose that I idealized my father. Over time I only remembered the most wonderful and remarkable things about him. I often fantasized about how different life would have been if he had never been killed. Mostly though my brothers and I adapted to the reality of our situation. We learned that growing up in a single parent home didn’t have to be sad and dreary. Our mother was wonderful and she kept memories of our father alive by telling stories about him and boasting of his brilliance and love.

When I became a teacher I encountered so many young people who like me had no fathers. Some of them were children of divorce who divided their time between their parents. Others had never known their dads. All of them longed to know more about the man who had helped to create their lives. It seems to be human nature to want knowledge of both our mothers and our fathers and their families as well.

I watched the new version of Roots that was shown on several channels a few weeks ago. Perhaps the strongest theme of that series was the importance of family. We cling to the lessons that our parents teach us and even when they are no longer with us we remember and appreciate what they have done for us. In the story of Kunta Kente we follow his life from the time that he is a young man living happily with his family in Africa to his capture and imprisonment as a slave when he was forced to adapt to a new world without freedom. He kept his dignity because he felt the spirit of his father inside his very soul. He passed those feelings down to his children even when they too were ripped from the people who most loved them. From one generation to the next the lessons that Kunta Kente had learned were a treasured part of the family lore.

All of us want and need the steadying hands of our parents. It is of course most ideal when we have both of them but many of us have to be content with only one parent. Some of us even have parents who did not birth us but who love us nonetheless. It is in the care and comfort that they provide that we grow into capable adults.

Fathers form the bedrock of our existences. President Barack Obama longed to understand his own father and journeyed around the world attempting to understand the man with whom his mother created a life. Like me he grew up with males who were surrogate role models. He loved them and appreciated the support that they gave him but he needed to learn the roots of who he was by reflecting on the life of his dad.

Mike and I spent Father’s Day with my father-in-law. Julio Gonzales who is as good a father as there ever was. He married Mike’s mom when Mike was five years old. He became the papa who was there for every milestone. He provided Mike with a home, food, an education. He taught him how to be a good and loving man. He is Mike’s real father in every sense of the word and the grandfather of our daughters. He is the patriarch of our family, the steadying force who stands at the center of our lives. He worries and frets over us just as he did when Mike was still a boy. He never stops being a dad.

The funeral for my son-in-law’s grandfather was held on Saturday. He was 101 years old and beloved by a huge extended family that will miss his storytelling, wit and wisdom. Like other fathers he spent a lifetime protecting and caring for his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. They were all the focal point of his life. He worked hard and played hard with them. He was willing to sit down in the dirt with a child to play with a doodle bug. He enjoyed entertaining his family with legendary jokes and smiles.

There are many kinds of fathers and sometimes there are no fathers. We all seem to need them or at least a substitute for them. They teach us how to live and love and laugh.

I still remember my own father reading voraciously and loving sports and politics. I can see him fishing and laugh when I think of how he carried his pole in the trunk of his car just in case he found a body of water and a few minutes of leisure time. He was an historian, an artist and an engineer. He loved his friends and our mother and me and my brothers. He was a man of culture who played classical music and recited poetry. He was an adventurer who wanted to see the world. Even though he was only with me for eight years he taught me all that I needed to know. He showed me how to be my very best. He lives in me and my brothers to this very day.

I hope that all of the wonderful fathers that I know enjoyed themselves yesterday. I hope that they realize just how much they will always be loved by their children. We don’t always take the time to convey our feelings to our fathers and the men who substitute for our fathers but the thoughts are always there in our hearts.

A Noisy World

platform-in-a-noisy-worldSometimes I feel like being a turtle and hiding inside my shell. Thinking about the complexities of the world can be exhausting and trying to ignore all of the furor seems almost impossible given the 24/7 instantaneous and nonstop coverage of the news in all of its forms. We can’t even get away from politics when we attempt to escape by watching television or movies. The propaganda both extreme and subtle always appears to be ever present. It’s little wonder that we have gone a bit overboard in our reactions to differences of opinion, even to the point of violence in some cases. Perhaps the worst reaction is to suggest that some ideas are so horrible that they should be banned or even found to be illegal. I shudder to think that we are dancing so dangerously toward the idea of any kind of censorship and I am appalled that there are so many who would willingly end friendships over differing convictions. I have to wonder if we simply need to tone down the rhetoric and return to a less bombastic era.

I watched a stunning two part documentary about Afghanistan on Netflix last week. It was thought provoking to say the least. I found myself wondering why I had never heard much about this country before we invaded after 9/11. Its history is so rich and yet so tragic. I never really understood its true significance nor did I realize that it has been an embattled nation since the nineteenth century when the British sent troops there in the guise of supporting its people and its government. The reality was that Great Britain was concerned that Russia might use Afghanistan as a pathway to India and so in a series of ill conceived plans the Brits built fortifications and sent soldiers and their families to keep an eye on things. The maneuvers resulted in rebellions and the slaughter of thousands of British soldiers in some of the worst losses in history. Even back then it became apparent that the Afghan people neither appreciated nor tolerated interference from an outside nation. The same bitter defeats that plagued Great Britain would later become the fate of The Soviet Union in the nineteen seventies and eighties and the United States more recently. History demonstrates over and over that it is easy enough to get into Afghanistan but tragically difficult to get out.

I was stunned by all of the knowledge that I gained during the course of this documentary and determined to learn more. I realized that I was all too unaware of geopolitics and probably only thought that life in the eighties when I experienced the peak of my happiness was as perfect as it had seemed. It was my ignorance of terrible events that protected me from reality. While it was a nice state of mind to have I wonder whether it is better to be unaware of all of the tragedy and injustice or to be knowledgable and capable of rational dialogue. My innocence felt nice but was it the way I should have been?

Perhaps there is a happy medium. While I was raising my daughters, watching “The Golden Girls,” having fun with my friends, enjoying my job and living in what I thought to be the world’s greatest neighborhood I was in a kind of blissful bubble. It didn’t occur to me to think that trouble was brewing in parts of my own country and exotic locales in the world. I was fine and so I somewhat selfishly assumed that everyone else was as well. I had no interest in learning about the Middle East and only thought of its existence when Iran held some Americans hostage or I was only able to get gasoline on a certain day of the week. Perhaps instead I should have been more engaged with the slow progression of events that were moving toward the future that is now. History is always much easier to understand and to predict in the long view rather than the moment.

One of the things that I most appreciated about the documentary that I watched was that it was not particularly political in nature. It was filled with more facts than opinions, unlike most of what is supposed to be news today. The journalist did not insert himself into the discussions. The questions that he asked were more informative than challenging. He admitted to having a particular bias but generally left it to the viewers to draw their own conclusions. I don’t see much of that in the media today. Virtually every form of journalism seems to be slanted toward a particular philosophy, making it more difficult to determine the truth. I suspect that the anger that is so rampant in our society is a byproduct of the ratings game. We are more likely to watch a ninety second spot that is audacious and inflammatory than one that simply outlines information. We would rather see film of riots in the streets than hear outlines of legitimate concerns. We are baited by soundbites rather than encouraged to delve more deeply into research. I believe that these are the kinds of things that make us a bit crazy.

I remember a time when Walter Cronkite was the face of the nightly news. He showed us what was really happening and then left it to each of us to form our own opinions. Movie stars were just that, people who played roles in fictional stories. Television was a means of escaping the stresses of daily living. The stories were funny, inspirational, adventurous. The whole family could watch until a certain hour at night when the programming became a bit more adult. People often spent evenings sitting outside, enjoying the sounds of nature and their neighbors. Children played on lawns up and down the street. There were no video games to distract them from running and using their imaginations. People interacted and life in general was very informal, unplanned. We didn’t rush around the way people do today. We had time to linger over a nice meal, laugh at stories of the day’s happenings, pause to check on a person who was not doing so well. Perhaps we fooled ourselves into thinking that our little islands of bliss represented the rest of the world but it made for much more contentment and far fewer disagreements. Maybe the silence that we had in abundance back then was a very good thing. It may be that the old bard nailed it when he spoke of sound and fury signifying nothing.

We rushed into this complex state of instant and non-stop information and sensory overload without really knowing the consequences. I suspect that we are still experimenting with our brave new world. We don’t quite yet know what we should hear and what we should ignore. We have to learn how to balance what is good about our cyber universe and what only serves to make us weary. Just as with overindulging in food or drink we sometimes have a tendency to allow the commentaries and pundits to shape our thinking without unplugging long enough to reflect on what we have seen and heard. Most of all we each need to remember that we have erected systems, norms and customs that prevent our society from descending into anarchy. There are ways to address problems and concerns without violence and self righteous anger. I am optimistic that we will eventually adapt to the ever changing ways of receiving and reacting to information. Hopefully we will never forget to respect the freedoms that are the foundations of our society. It is better to learn how to quietly analyze conflicting voices than to try to silence them. It is in our diversity of thought and our pursuit of knowledge and truth that we are strong.