Month: July 2021

Have you ever wondered who writes those little words of wisdom found inside fortune cookies? I suspect that there are old Chinese proverbs or stories that inspire some of them. Others are much like advice from Heloise or Ann Landers, little bits of wisdom for living. Then there are the cryptic ones that seem to make glorious predictions for a future that might actually apply to anyone. 

Where I live fortune cookies include a series of numbers that might be used to pick a winning lottery ticket. I’ve often found myself tempted to randomly use one of the suggested lists just to see if it is luckier than the ones that I sometimes use. Since the whole process is so random, the odds that the cookies will result in a win are about the same as just letting the computer spit out their choices. Think of how much more fun, though, it would be to boast that I became a millionaire from a little almond cookie that came with my take out from Pearl Dynasty.

I have to admit that some of the little messages in those cookies are quite clever, so I decided to try my hand at creating my own set of communications that embody my hopes and advice for anyone who actually enjoys such things. 

• When you leave the house looking horrible, you will see everyone that you ever knew.
• Don’t worry about picking the shortest line at the checkout. Whichever one you choose will take the longest.
• Work hard. Be nice. You’ll like yourself better.
• Never set up your Christmas tree until after Thanksgiving, except in a pandemic. Then you can have it all year long.
• A walk in the rain cleanses the soul.
• Learn something new every day of your life.
• Listen and think before you speak. Sometimes you will realize that saying nothing is best.
• Even behind a mask, people will see your smile in your eyes.
• Don’t wait till tomorrow to begin to follow your dreams.
• Make your bed each morning. You will be happy you did at night.
• Try something new. 
• Try not to worry. It rarely accomplishes a thing.
• Follow your own path, unless you realize you are lost.
• Wear clean socks and underwear when you leave the house. You never know…
• Be the change you wish to see in the world.
• Things fall apart. Be a person who helps put them back together.
• Call your mother. Make her day.
• The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Take the long scenic way.
• Save your money for trips, not things.
• This is more than a cookie. It’s part of your story.
• Watch and learn.
• It’s always more fun to share what you have than to hoard it.
• Take a walk on a beach at sunrise or sunset.
• Feel the sand between your toes.
• Never miss an opportunity to laugh.
• When you reach a fork in the road, take it.
• It isn’t over until it is over.
• Leave every place better than you found it.
• Simplify. Simplify. Simplify.
• Make someone smile today.
• Just get started.
• Keep calm and carry on.
• Life is a journey. Take it.
• Life is beautiful. Spend time enjoying it.
• Visiting a an old person is like spending time in a library if you ask the right questions.
• It may be trite, but live, laugh, love.

I just don’t get the whole hashtag thing! I’ve done my best to understand what they are all about, and just when I think I’ve got the idea, I realize that none of it makes much sense to me. I’m most likely out of the loop because I have never taken the time to get into the Instagram groove. I’ve watched a number of social media platforms come and go over the years, and it’s a pretty sure thing that by the time I decide to join, the popularity of the site will be on the wane. I like anything that is easy to use, whereas the younger media buffs appear to prefer a more challenging format that is less likely to include their parents and grandparents. 

I used to love Facebook because it allowed me to stay in touch with members of my extended family, friends from school and work, and my former students. Over time I found that the algorithms created for what I might see on my wall had limited my reach to the same small group of people over and over again. I now have to wade through advertisements that I care nothing about just to get the latest news from people that I know. After last year’s presidential election poisoned the Facebook well, there were many hurt feelings and shattered relationships. Many people who had once been regular contributors simply left forever. 

I have an account on Twitter but I rarely see a post from anyone that I actually know, and I have not once received a reply to any of my posts. If I were to measure my personal popularity by my following on Twitter, as some people do, I we have to count myself as friendless. Still, I enjoy some of the quick-witted humor and repartee that seems to be the hallmark of that site. 

Instagram seems to have become the choice of those in the know, but I’m just not up to adding another form of social media to my resume. I suppose that if I were to join, I would have to really study the power of the hashtag in keeping things organized. By the time I learned the ins and outs, everyone would probably be moving on to the next new thing anyway. Sometimes the whole world of social media feels like being on a real time Easter egg hunt with the Easter Bunny leaving mysterious clues in a series of hashtags. While I like a good mystery as much as anyone, I just don’t have much interest in mastering the quirky world of @s and #s.

I have a Snapchat account that I rarely use. It takes too much effort to learn its nuances, and find my friends. Usually their posts have already disappeared before I realize that they have reached out to me. I suppose I’m just not quick enough or motivated enough to keep up with the times. The clock is tick tocking away while I’m stuck in my Facebook rut. If I were actually sharp witted enough to master all of the various social media outlets, I’d be like one of those teens staring down at a phone screen all day long. 

Besides all of those hashtags and knowing whatsapp, I have to ask, “Whatsapp with all of the people ambidextrous enough to walk and operate their phones with a single hand?” I’m barely able to key in an intelligible post while seated and using both hands. With auto-correct I still end up with messages that I never intended to create. I’ve even ended up in Facebook prison for twenty four hours because I did not notice a subtle change in what I intended to type that made me sound like a raving lunatic.   

If you ask me, much of the trouble that stalks the world can be traced to the sometimes insanity of social media. What should be good, has broken down into hashtag hell. Too many people are dependent on memes and soundbites and hoaxes and outright lies for their information. The once friendly faces that only wanted to keep in touch are snapping at one another, tweeting ridiculousness like small brained birds, chatting in snapshots, and finding instant popularity in hundreds of photos that are cataloged by so many hashtags that most of us never find them. 

Don’t get me wrong. I like social media, but I just can’t keep up with the frenzy and I’m not so sure I would want to even if I had the time. I’d much rather take a walk or get lost in a really good book. I like sharing my story, but I surely don’t want to pretend that somehow I have such a perfect life that it makes others feel uncomfortable. I hope I don’t come across as a know it all either. I have been scarred by the divisiveness of the past year. Even my most innocent posts sometimes raised the ire of people that I know. Like J. Alfred Prufrock I am often declaring #notwhatImeantatall. I sometimes wonder if I am #toooldforthis. I just #wanttogetalong. #whothougtofthis? #thatdarneasterbunny! #needanap. 

Trying to stay woke is really hard work, especially since I no longer have the snap that I once did. I’m rather certain that I’ve already shown much ignorance about the way things work in everything that I have written. Try to be understanding. I’m just doing my best to follow the hashtag trail and hoping to find an Easter egg or two along the way. This is new territory for me. #doingmybest

Our smart phones are remarkable tools. In many ways they operate like something out of science fiction. I can use my phone to send emails, texts, and make phone calls. If I wish I can see the person with whom I am talking in real time. With voice commands I can get directions to any place I may be going. I watch movies and television programs on my phone and learn about virtually any topic on earth. Not even the great library of Alexandria housed the depth of knowledge that is available on the tiny instrument that I carry in my pocket or my purse. I use my phone for games and to keep track of what I eat and how much I exercise. It has a calendar that keeps me apprised of upcoming appointments. I can even use a hotspot on my phone to provide the same kind of coverage as the Internet for my laptop. Of course, my phone has a better camera than any I ever ever before owned, allowing me to snap photos and videos wherever I go. The slender block that fits in the palm of my hand is actually more powerful than the bank of computers the helped to send men to the moon. 

Years ago, when I was a teen I remember getting stranded on Main Street in downtown Houston in the evening when all of the department stores were closed. I walked for miles before I finally found a phone, and was able to call my mom to come rescue me. That situation worked out well, but it could have been horrific. I’ve had many moments in the past when my car broke down, or I got lost when I had no recourse but to hope that I would be able to get the help that I needed without endangering my life. Such occasions were so frightening. Now I always feel somewhat safe and secure when I am out and about on my own as long as I have my phone. 

Phones get better and better all of the time, so I often wonder what the creators of the software will think of next for improving what we already have. Honestly, I can’t think of a thing that I might need, although I do love the coordination of the iPhone with the Apple watch that provides health information like EKGs. Perhaps one day the mechanisms will be sensitive enough to send alerts to someone who is on the verge of a heart attack or a stroke. I know that right now if I fall and don’t get up, my phone and watch will work in tandem to call 911. 

I’m a true crime junkie, so I’ve listened to dozens of podcasts detailing stories of murders. Something I’ve learned from those programs is how much data can be traced from the phone of a missing person. Some people find such capabilities invasive. I find them remarkable. I’d like to think that if I were to one day become less mentally alert, that my whereabouts might be traced from my phone. 

A few years back one of my grandsons had just received a new phone as a gift from his parents. He proudly brought it with him on a trip to Colorado. At some point he realized that he was unable to find it. He had to reluctantly let his mother know that it appeared to be gone. She had put a tracking feature on the device and insisted that it was somewhere in or near the cabin where we were staying. With all of our efforts we were not able to find its whereabouts. He was crushed as we drove all the way back home. 

When we arrived at his house we sadly informed his mom that it must be back at the cabin somewhere and we hoped that the next person who went there might find it where we had been unsuccessful. His mother showed us her app and then scratched her head because it clearly showed that the phone was at her home. Still, we could not find it even after unpacking all of our bags, checking the dirty laundry and combing the inside of the truck. It was a mystery for sure. 

Because everyone was so dismayed I went back to the truck one more time and reached my hands as far down into the backs of the seats as possible. I found a kind of well under one of them. As I blindly probed, I felt something move. With a little effort I fished out the object and it was the phone. We later learned that we could actually tilt that particular seat and store things underneath it. We reasoned that somehow the phone had slipped through the crack and landed in the opening where it became lost. We might never have found it but for the tracker that my daughter kept insisting was accurate.

Some people fear the reach of technology, and I suppose that there is potential for trouble. I, however, marvel at how much better the smart phone has made life. I imagine a day when that little phone will make more and more things possible for the betterment of humankind. I wonder what they will think of next? I’m sure it will be wonderful.  

I suppose that back in 2019, when we were celebrating the end of that year and preparing for 2020, few of us had any idea how much would change in the next many months. Somehow the numbers 2020 foretold the insights into life that many of us would experience as we began to see the world more realistically. Things slowed down, kept us in a quiet state, allowed us to observe, contemplate, heal. 

I am one of those people who was always rushing from one activity to another. I planned trips, parties, activities that kept me so busy that I had little time for sitting in silence. I admit to having a mind racing so quickly in pursuit of accomplishing as much as possible in a single day, that I sometimes gave only cursory attention to conversations or even prayers. I was always thinking of my to do lists, and calendars. I potted and planned, and rushed from one thing to the next. 

Suddenly, in March of 2020, I had an empty planner save for the Zoom lessons that I held in my home. I was free to slow my pace because I was not going anywhere. One day was like another and it was difficult to cope with the silence. I threw myself into projects to stay entertained. Then I grew weary of even that, and along the way I learned how to meditate. I was able to sit quietly and listen to the sounds of my heart and my breathing. I heard to birds and insects and the whispering of the wind. I began to reassess what brought me the most joy and comfort. 

When the vaccines came I was overjoyed. I have been able to return to the outside world, but I have found that I no longer want to do many of the things that once entertained me. Eating out only entices me if it means being with family or friends. I’d just as soon pay for a movie through one of my online subscriptions as go to a theater. Shopping holds little interest, and I now tend to go straight to whatever I need and leave quickly. I mostly enjoy quiet, intimate gatherings rather than raucous parties. I prioritize my time for meditation and prayer. I feel more in tune with nature and all of the people of the world. Somehow the sacrifices and suffering of the pandemic have reminded me to focus more on people. 

I sometimes think that even those of us who did not catch the virus were still sick from the rapid pace of the world and its demands. Slowing down gave us an opportunity to reassess how to do things. Sadly, so many fought against introspection, and missed a rare moment in which to grow. They stuck with all of their old ways and refused to even consider that change comes to us in many ways. While it often challenges us, it can be just what we need to be healthier and happier versions of ourselves. 

I read that researchers are leaning more and more toward the idea that depression is a mechanism that the body uses instinctively to help with the healing process. It is a natural response to illnesses, losses, abusive situations that can actual protect us as long as it does not become too intense. Those who allow themselves to express their feelings of sorrow or lack of control often return more quickly to a state of strong mental health. Depression slows them down, alerts them to troubles, helps them to work through problems. Acknowledging difficulties is the first step to solving them. 

I suppose that in spite of the horrors and grave costs of life and income, the pandemic might have brought us closer together with all of the people of the world. Sadly, we seem to be more divided than ever. Too many insist on doing things their way, or doing nothing at all. They appear to want to turn back the clock and pretend that 2020 never happened. They missed the glorious joy of quieting their minds and viewing the world as they had never before seen it. They rejected the heeling moment that nature had provided them.

Each of us experienced loss. People that we dearly loved have left us for the next world. Some barely hung on to their security, their homes. It was a scary time, but if we do not see how many heroes rose to the occasion, then we have missed the point of it all. If we did not help in our own ways, then we do not yet understand how gloriously wonderful it feels to focus on others. Before we rush back into the race that once so consumed us, we would do well to ask ourselves how willing we have been to understand others, and change the ways that we all might live together. Have we heard the cries of injustice, inequality, need? Do we really want to continue to ignore them? Are we willing to face even ugly truths so that we might all move forward?

Our calendars are filling again. We are rushing around in pursuit of our own lives, liberties, and happiness. Our old habits are vying to overtake us again. Let us not ignore what we learned, not even if it requires us to change. I now have antibodies working inside my body to prevent the virus from harming me. Hopefully I also created antibodies in my mind that will prevent me from allowing the toxicity of neglect to continue to inflict pain and suffering on my brothers and sisters all over the world. We all can give a little so that everyone gains. 

Sometimes I tell people that I am not very lucky, but when I think about it, I realize that there have been times when I have won the jackpot. I’m a romantic at heart, someone who always believed that somewhere in the world the perfect person was searching for me. I worried that I might never encounter the man of my dreams, but I was hopeful. Somehow I literally stumbled on to meeting that person without any idea of how much my life was going to change. 

I did not even want to attend the party where it all happened. I was interested in someone else at the time, even though I don’t think that the feeling was mutual. I was hoping that somehow I might find a way to make the attraction go both ways, and the invitation to a birthday celebration was an interruption of my plans. My mom convinced me of my duty to family, and so it was with great reluctance that I fulfilled that role. 

The whole affair was rather dull for the greater part of the evening. I had already met most of those in attendance, and they felt like brothers rather than prospects for a relationship other than friendship. Without warning a new young man entered stylishly late, and I was almost immediately smitten even though he appeared to be more interested in my cousin. I felt almost giddy talking with him and later chided myself for acting like a school girl. I was both surprised and delighted when he called me later to ask me out on a date. It felt as though the heavens were acting in concert.

The date was even more wonderful than I had expected it to be. The two of us became inseparable from that time forward. I had never before felt so comfortable with being myself as when I was with him. We were two people who were totally in sync. We liked the same music, and enjoyed the same kind of conversations and activities. Soon he was pronouncing his love for me and I for him. He christened our romance with a lovely gold charm bracelet with a heart shaped charm on which he had engraved the date on which we met with the words, “Now and Forever.”

That promise is as strong as ever after fifty two years of marriage. We have had great fun together and weathered terrible storms. The comfort that we provide each other never changes. He is my best friend, my confidante, my rock. I sometimes pinch myself when I realize the tremendous odds of finding “the one” who was meant to be for me. I am forever grateful for that birthday party, and I shudder to think that I might have missed it if not for my mother. 

I received a challenge to write the first couple of stanzas of a love song that describes my love, so herewith is my lame attempt at becoming a lyricist. I call my song, “Now and Forever”

I dreamed of you before we met.

I knew you in my heart.

You came to me without warning,

And I sensed my life was set.

You are “the One”

You are “the One”

My “Now and Forever” 

You are “the One.”

We shared some fun.

We shared our dreams.

And the the heavens seemed to know 

Our heats would be as one.

You are “the One”

You are “the One”

My “Now and Forever”

You are “the One”

Challenge completed…but I think I’ll stick to writing prose.