Lead by example with hope, never fear. —-Michelle Obama

I am a huge fan of Michelle Obama. I found myself identifying with her when I read her autobiography. I certainly cannot totally understand what it is like to be a Black person, but I do know a thing or two about the roadblocks associated with being a woman. Like Mrs. Obama I often found myself wondering if I truly had what it takes to be successful in a world that often convinced me to underestimate my own abilities. Even as I succeeded academically there was a part of me that felt as though I was not really being taken seriously. All too often I heard comments from teachers about my hard work being the source of my good grades rather than intelligence. They would remark that I fooled them into thinking that I was actually rather dull given my quiet demeanor and reluctance to assert myself. Their attempts to explain their surprise when I did well in their classes only fortified my own fears that perhaps I was somehow lacking and unworthy. 

Perhaps it was being thrown into the unexpected role of caretaker for my mother before I was even twenty one years old that provided me with the courage and conviction that I eventually developed. I became unafraid and unconcerned with other people’s opinions of me. I realized that I had what I needed to find navigate through life and it didn’t matter whether it was because of my determination or my I.Q. Like Michelle Obama I ultimately found myself and my destiny. 

I proudly became a teacher determined to help my students overcome the fears that they had. My goal was to increase their knowledge but also their understanding of their own capabilities. I wanted to give them hope, so I tried to push through the fears that they had. I especially wanted to do this for all of the students in my classroom because I knew what barriers they might one day face. While society has certainly advanced with regard to opportunities for everyone we have all seen and encountered people with old school prejudices. 

I remember having a discussion with a young girl who was doing poorly in all of her classes. She smiled and told me that she did not need schooling because her goal in life was to marry and become a mother. While I regard that as a noble vocation I worried about what might happen to her if for some reason her husband were to die or become abusive. I knew that she would be better off if she had skills that would make her strong and independent.

She argued that she would just go back home to her parents if things went awry with her marriage. I countered by pointing out that her parents might ultimately grow old and die leaving her without a plan to take care of herself and her children. Her response was that she would depend on her brother if that happened. When I asked her what she would do if her brother was unable to provide her with aid she suddenly paused as though she was thinking things through for the first time.

Eventually I convinced her that she was smart and able to take care of herself. I urged her to take advantage of building a foundation of education that would assure that she would always have backup goals for any emergency that might arise. She shook her head in agreement as though a light had just become illuminated in her mind. From that moment she went on to become one of my top students. She believed in herself and began to glow with confidence.

Teaching was almost a religious experience for me. I so often found children whose souls had been severely damaged. They were afraid of being found to be inadequate most especially in mathematics and so they adopted a false bravado or they disappeared into a protective shell. I knew that helping them to see their worth and how to use their abilities was just as important as demonstrating how to solve an equation. I was open to them about my own self doubts and spoke of how I discovered how to find the conviction that I needed. I tried to be patient with them as they tentatively made efforts to attempt to master concepts that were difficult. I urged then to enjoy the journey of learning rather than be afraid of it. We worked together. Everything I did was geared to make them stronger, not to tear them down. I never knew for certain if they had understood what I was attempting to accomplish with them until a few mornings ago. 

I went through my early in the day routines of playing all the word games in The New York Times then I went to Facebook to wish happy birthdays to anyone born on that day. After that I posted my blog for the day and began to scan the posts that showed up on my wall. Imagine my surprise when I saw that one of my former students had named me as the best math teacher that she ever had. Her reason for doing so was that I had patiently helped her to realize how competent she was as a student. Honestly I had thought of her as a brilliant young woman from the start. I literally cried upon realizing that I had change her feelings about herself because that it what I had always hoped to do for anyone wondering if they had the ability to grow in knowledge. When other students joined in on the post with stories of their own I realized that my students had reciprocated in helping me to understand that I had somehow accomplished my life’s goal. it was a moment of mutual admiration. I knew that my example had been positive for them and they in turn had bolstered my hopes that I had made a difference. 

I can never begin to express how much love I have for each and every one of my students. They are all my children and I love nothing more than hearing that they are doing well. I dream of them and worry about them, I hope that in every case I have been an example for them. I pray that they are as proud of themselves as I am of them.