I like my food and my people to be salty. I prefer chips and crackers and people who are willing to express themselves just as they are. My mother was salty and I loved that aspect of her behavior. Most of the time she was refined and sweetly kind but she knew exactly when and how to let her frisky side rein free. I love women like that who manage to maintain control of every situation even in a world traditionally dominated by men. When my father died she skillfully used her saltiness to raise my brothers and me in a secure yet adventurous environment. It was only when she became ill that she seemed to lose herself and I truly missed the feisty woman that I knew she was.

I’ve had cats and loved them but once my little girl proved to be allergic to them I became totally enamored with team dog. I found out how truly faithful and protective those critters are. Living with a dog is like having an instant true friend every hour of every day. Dogs sidle up and hug with their entire bodies and we all know that nothing beats a good hug. I am petless now because I have an elderly man living in our home. He takes up a great deal of my extra time. Having a dog would only complicate our situation and besides my ninety five year old father-in-law might trip over a pet who is just trying to be friendly. 

Perhaps I’ll get a furry companion later in my life when all I really have to do is read and pen stories and blogs while sipping on tea. I think perhaps a Golden Retriever will be my choice because I have found them to be such a loving breed. We will cuddle together on the couch while I enjoy fiction books or she will be by my side when I sit on my back porch gazing at the stars on a cool night. Whatever I choose to do will be just fine for that dog. She will adapt to me and I to her. Our silent friendship will be strong because that’s just the nature of a good dog. 

I’m not much of a game player. I prefer Scrabble or crossword puzzles to checkers or chess. I enjoy some card games and remember a time when my mother held Canasta tournaments in our kitchen on hot summer days before we had air conditioning. Neighbors would gather to play hotly competitive games while cooling themselves with Mama’s homemade lemonade. Those lazy days were so much fun and sometimes I think that it would be fun to gather people for game days now and again. 

Of course I really love to spend my free time watching movies. When I was teaching and my daughters were young we often had movie days in July when the temperatures made being outside almost impossible. I’d gather our favorite foods and snacks and we would wile away the hours in our pajamas watching movies that we rented from Blockbuster. Of course there is no Blockbuster anymore and my daughters are long gone with families of their own. Somehow it’s not as much fun to set aside a day of streaming one show after the next but there are times when I would love to watch an entire series uninterrupted if I could find a day with nothing else to do.

These days my time is structured almost as much as it was when I was a working mom. I have to keep things in order so that my father-in-law won’t become confused by the constant changes that I actually prefer. I’m an early bird who rises before the sun peeks over the horizon. I like getting a jump on the day. I give myself time to clear the fuzziness in my brain and luckily I don’t have to do that on the fly to join the daily commutes on the road. as was once my fate. Instead I play a number of word games, acquaint myself with the morning news, make lists of tasks I need to complete or items I must soon purchase at the store.

 It is my creative time of day as well as when I meditate and write my blogs. Sometimes I picture myself in peaceful faraway places like the mountains that I so love. My imagination quickly takes me there and I feel a kind of contentment that flows throughout my body and my mind. Then the house and the neighborhood begin to come alive. I hear children laughing, workers driving to their jobs, my father-in-law shuffling to the kitchen. I know it’s time to get serious about the day. My golden moments of being silent will come again tomorrow. I have to muster my enthusiasm for more practical endeavors. 

The rapid firing of duties begins and I have always been a GOAT when it comes to getting things done. I confer with my calendar and lay out plans for the week and the month. I am ready for a smooth reckoning of the day’s demands even if a surprise comes way. That book about vampires that I purchased at the bookstore will have to wait. I am on the clock ticking off the tasks that keep things moving just as they should do. Somehow it feels good to be in control. I think of how maybe my salty mom was right in suggesting that I actually take delight in being a control freak. I guess it’s just the way that I am.

it has taken decades for me to reach this point and I actually like who I am. I know I am still imperfect, but who isn’t? I try to keep a growth mindset and hope that I will continue to evolve. Maybe one day I might actually achieve my secret goal of being salty.