Day: November 19, 2024

If the wind will not serve, take to the oars. —-Latin proverb

I tend to be a determined person. I try not to let any situation overtake me. My instinct is to keep trying even when my efforts seem to be in vain. At times it can be daunting to be that way but I have a good cry or maybe even a fit of anger. Then I take a deep breath and resume my efforts once again.

I remember a summer when I was attempting to learn how to do a twirling routine that involved throwing my baton into the air, spinning around and catching it behind my back just as it floated down to earth. I must have felt the pain of the baton hitting me on the head so many times that I am still in wonder that I did not sustain some kind of brain injury. My brothers would probably maintain that I actually did some damage to myself because only a crazy person would have kept doing the same action over and over again without much change. While it did in fact seem bizarre, I eventually perfected my technique so that I was able to perform that trick with grace. 

That was perhaps a small and somewhat insignificant example of my resolve. Since those days of my youth my can do attitude has allowed me to learn and understand difficult concepts in school that at first were like gibberish to me. I have overcome my innate shyness so that I might speak naturally in front of a crowded audience. I’ve managed to do things that were so frightening to me that I thought I would surely faint as I pushed myself to overcome my lack of courage. Nevertheless I still struggle to face death and suffering head on. Tragedies crush me to the point of wanting to hide away in my home with the blinds and curtains drawn, pretending that such sorrows do not exist. What I know for certain, however, is that most times there is no looking the other way. 

This month has placed me squarely in the cross hairs of my most dreaded challenges. Every single week I have learned of someone that I have known who has died or who is dealing with a scary illness or a personal situation that is daunting. On a wider level it is so difficult to read the news of death by wars, violence by sick individuals, poverty and starvation of innocents. I have to remind myself that I have a certain duty to do what I can to comfort them. I have to view their difficulties as graver than my own reluctance to let go of the feelings that tempt me to run away from sorrow. I have to remember the special people who have made themselves available for me when I needed them. I have to take a deep breath, wipe my own tears away and keep working to bring a bit of solace to the world around me. 

I have been so fortunate in almost every aspect of my life. I learned from my mother that sharing good fortune is something we must always do. I have been the recipient of cupcakes from a neighbor after I had surgery, soup from a friend when I was sick, flowers from a coworker when my mother died, a sweet card from an acquaintance for no reason other than to make me feel good. I know what great empathy and compassion are. I have witnessed kind acts from the very best people at such things. Sometimes I have to push myself to set aside my own tears and frustrations at what I witness and become the person who brings a moment of succor to the people whose tragedies are bringing me down. It is not a time to selfishly wallow in an emotional state, but rather to keep practicing the good works that have been shown to me. Even if I feel like I am being hit over the head with an object hurling erratically toward me, I have to keep going, keep trying to be unselfish and caring. 

Death is an inevitable visitor to all of us. Sickness comes our way whether we try our best to avoid it or not. Tragedies are happening even when we sleep. They are a part of life but not to be ignored because whatever is happening makes us feel uncomfortable. We often have to find courage that we do not believe that we have when things get tough for others.

We innately know that no man is an island. We live in a family, a community, a society, the world. We owe it to others to demonstrate our concern for them other even when that is difficult and requires sacrifices that we don’t want to have to make. It takes practice to know how to be. It takes determination to set aside our fears.

I have a wonderful cousin named Leonard who has spent his entire life doing unto others as he would have them do unto him. We always knew that Leonard would show up for every graduation, wedding, birth, funeral. No RSVP was needed. He was going to be wherever any phase of life was taking place among his acquaintances, friends and family. These days he does it with a walker since breaking a hip has left him hobbling along. He’s always present whether the life event is pleasant or difficult. He brings with a great big loving smile a lots of encouragement wherever he goes. 

I suppose that I need to practice being more like Leonard. I must learn how to set aside my personal aversion of being in a sorrowful place. I must remind myself that such times are never about me. If I truly love, then I cannot run away. I know I have it in me to practice until I get it right every single time. All those people who are experiencing difficulties are counting on someone like me to help them through the worst moments of their lives. I have to be determined to do what is right. I have to take to the oars! I suppose that it is something that we all must do.