Category: Beauty

Celebrate Difference

Published on by Sharron BurnettLeave a comment
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I remember having a discussion about beauty and what is really is. From century to century, place to place the definition of what is pleasing to the eye often changes, and is indeed in the eye of the beholder. That being said, we are continuously bombarded with images designed to show us what is most attractive and how to achieve such distinction on our own by honing our bodies and purchasing products designed to bring out our best. We are made to feel that there is a particular kind of appearance that is lovely, and if we work hard enough we too might recreate ourselves in such likenesses. Billions of dollars are made by the purveyors of the world of beauty.

I do not wish to demean those who offer us the chance of enhancing our natural state. I partake of cosmetics, lotions, exercise, healthy choices, hair products, vitamins perfumes and all sorts of aids. I enjoy how they make me feel and I am happy that that they are available for they surely add a bit of joy to my life, but I worry sometimes that our emphasis on such things also contributes to making many people feel less than. I’m old enough and have enough confidence to find my own skin to be quite comfortable. I am long past the days of worrying that I do not measure up or impress. I don’t mind being seen without makeup, but I my skin enjoys the lotions that I feed it each day so I indulge in pampering myself. Still I worry that there are people both young and old who somehow have been made to feel not so beautiful by a society obsessed with pulchritude.

I love the movie The Greatest Showman because its theme of the variety of loveliness resonates so beautifully in the songs and the scenes. The circus acts are peopled with unique individuals who are beautiful in their own right simply because they are alive. The anthem This Is Me shouts the gloriousness and importance of every life, something that we don’t impress on our young nearly enough. I suppose that if we were to teach our everyone to see that there is no one way of being or appearing we would all be a bit happier.

So many of our problems occur simply because of appearance. The color of skin, texture of hair, height, weight, composition of features often tell us stories before we even have the opportunity of knowing someone. Even when we don’t mean to be that way our biases sometimes cause us to judge. There are those who laugh and make fun of shoppers at Walmart as though their choice of merchants tells us all we need to know of them. We see someone and begin making all sorts of unconscious assumptions about them often without even realizing we are doing so. Our eyes lead us to draw conclusions when instead we should be reserving our thoughts until we have had time to truly understand the person we are seeing.

I think of times when I was guilty of reacting to appearance and later realizing how incredible the person that I judged actually was. When we truly get to know an individual it is amazing how much more beautiful he/she becomes to us. We cease to focus on flaws and instead notice the kindness, the smile, the determination, things that are far more meaningful than looks.

So how do we better appreciate the uniqueness of each of us? I believe that it begins with easing out of our comfort zones. It’s important that we make efforts to be with people unlike ourselves. We must learn more about those who appear to be strange, for in the process we may learn that they are not so different as we may have thought. We all love our children and want the best for them. Much of what motivates us revolves around providing them with better lives. Sometimes we simply need to remind ourselves of that simple fact whenever we react negatively to someone based only on looks.

In times of distress when we are all in the same sinking boat we are more likely to set aside our biases and prejudices. With the common cause of survival we are not so concerned with appearance, particularly with the good soul who is saving us. Why should we have to wait for tragedy to set aside superficialities?

One of my all time favorite photographs is a famous image from the dustbowl era. It shows a woman of indeterminate age who is suffering from the poverty inflicted on her by climate and economic depression. She sits with her hand on her face in a gesture of hopelessness. Her eyes are blank with a faraway look perhaps of fear or remembrance of better times. Her hair hangs lifelessly without over her furrowed brow, and yet she is so beautiful to me. No movie star or royal personage might be as lovely. She seems to represent a part of each of us that fights to be heard and seen and survive. I want to reach out to her and take her hand and tell her that I understand. I want her to know that she is pretty and important and that she will see better days.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be celebrated by the people around us. It’s fun to paint our toes, style our hair, brighten our faces. We just need to always be aware that these things do not represent our souls or those of others. Inside each of us are hopes and dreams and needs. The packaging of them should never prevent us from seeing and realizing them. Look beyond the exterior. Celebrate difference.   

When Love Is the Way

Published on by Sharron BurnettLeave a comment

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I used to sit next to my father listening to him read fairytales to me from the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen. It’s such a warm memory for me and I suppose that it is part of the reason that I am somewhat of a cockeyed optimist. Still, reality has a way of rearing its ugly head all too often. I put those books away for a very long time after my father’s death when I was only eight. Somehow it was too painful to see the stories that had been so much a part of the most wonderful times with him. It was not until I grew older that I realized that having those books and reading the tales inside of them actually brought me to a very peaceful place in which I was able to recall how wonderful it was to have those very special moments with my father. Instead of making me sad, the books now represent something very beautiful in my life and I cherish them and the feelings that they bring to me.

My own life has been punctuated with many trials and tribulations, but I have been mostly blessed. I have a family that has helped me through the most difficult times and friends who have been like brothers and sisters. I enjoy my own fairytale with my husband Mike. We’ve managed to be the best of friends for almost fifty years and I can’t even begin to imagine being with anyone else but him. We laugh and cry together and even find a bit of fun on the most ordinary of days. I suppose that I’ve had two Prince Charmings in my life, my father and my husband.

The world can be cruel and ugly sometimes, just as it is in some of those old stories that fascinated me. In most of them, however, there are happy endings that provide hope for humanity. The good guys win and the bad guys lose. It’s a simple formula, but one to which we all want to cling even when it seems a bit too easy compared to real life. Particularly these days its far easier to be cynical than positive when it feels as though we are surrounded by hatefulness and violence. It’s funny though how life sometimes imitates art, and we find ourselves watching a real fairytale coming true before our eyes.

The love story of Prince Harry Windsor and Meghan Markle has enchanted much of the world, and this past weekend the two became one in a magical ceremony that left us feeling more elated than when Cinderella and her prince lived happily ever after. These two have given us all reason to hope that there will be a triumphant victory over the evils that plague us. In their union there is so much love and the explicit understanding that we are all one people who need not be separated by the kinds of artificial barriers that create misunderstandings and sometimes even hate. All Harry and Meghan see when they gaze at one another is another loving heart. Their romance is the stuff of the imagination or the Hallmark Channel, and yet it is so real and inspiring.

Who would ever have believed that a member of the royal family would fall in love with an American, an actress, a woman of mixed race who had once been divorced? There were so many barriers to overcome, and yet true love won the day. None of those things mattered because their souls are in unison. They complete each other, and their feelings were on full display this past weekend in a ceremony so lovely that few of us who watched will ever forget it. Undoubtedly it was better than even the best fairytale because it was real and we all got to share it.

Harry was dashing in his military uniform with his older brother who will one day be king standing by his side. Meghan was simply gorgeous in the simplicity of her dress. Her beauty literally radiated in her smile and her eyes each time she looked at her prince. Her mother was as regal as the queen, and there was something quite breathtaking about seeing an African American woman whose ancestors had been slaves walking so grandly among royalty.

I always cry at weddings, but this one was extraordinarily emotional for me. It seemed to be joining nations and cultures, not in a political way, but through the very pure power of love. I found myself thinking of Harry’s mom, Diana, and feeling as though he had remembered her lessons just as I had always cherished the teachings that my own father had left in my heart. She had changed the royal worldview even in death, and she would have been so very proud of her son. He has become the man that I am certain she wanted him to be. I felt that she was there in every song, every word, every aspect of the ceremony right down to the Forget Me Nots in Meghan’s bouquet. She would have surely smiled as openly as Meaghan and embraced the spirit of what was happening with unabashed joy.

The union of traditions was particularly touching. Bishop Curry’s address was a stirring homage of the power of love, and a challenge to all of us to embrace it. It is true that when love is the way the world becomes a better place. That was the theme at the heart of the most romantic fairytales and it is more important today than ever. If only we were able to start a powerful domino effect that would lead to loving solutions to all of our problems, the world would be so much the better. Perhaps Harry and Meghan will be a catalyst to remind us of what is truly important.

I went to a fairytale wedding all because two people fell in love. I left understanding the power of that love and believing that there really is hope for our world. I saw my father’s smile in my mind and heard his voice reading to me. I remembered the giving nature and grace of Diana. I listened to the words of Bishop Curry and the angelic voices of the choirs. There was redemption and courage and most of all comfort in all of it. I believe in happy endings once again. We will overcome the strife that now so burdens us. Love will lead the way. 

Running

Published on by Sharron BurnettLeave a comment
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There is nothing as stunningly lovely as watching a human or an animal in the act of running, particularly when the form and the speed are nearing perfection. The mechanics of moving fast display bodies at their utmost acheivement of beauty and adaptation to the environment around them. Runners unleash energy and power that seems to overcome the very forces of gravity. We may never be able to fly without a machine, but like gazelles and cheetahs we humans have the ability to push ourselves to move like the wind. When that skill is honed to its highest level it is no less inspiring than a symphony.

Even with our best efforts those who stand erect and run on two legs have never quite found a way to outrun some of the creatures that live around us, but we have bonded with one that has carried us from place to place and in and out of life’s events. That animal is of course the horse, and it is the one creature that I find to be the most strikingly handsome in all of the animal kingdom. Of course that is just an opinion, but one to which I have returned again and again, based solely on the feeling of elation that I always experience whenever I see a horse running wild and free. It is a sight that never fails to take my breath away.

If I seek a friend, I will get a dog, but if I want aesthetic satisfaction I must watch a horse or a group of them doing the things that are so natural to them. They are indeed among God’s most incredible creations, and even though I have never had opportunities to own one or ride one more than passingly, I have had a secret adoration of them. I have been especially envious of  those whose lives have intersected with horses, because I suspect that there is a kind of spiritual union between humans and horses that must be experienced to be understood.

Growing up in Texas I have had ample time to view horses, and I have known many people who owned such animals and enjoyed a kind of oneness with them. Horses became a kind of passion for them that has enriched their lives with a bond between themselves and their animals that releases them from the stresses of daily living. Their horses do not disappoint or become disloyal. Human and horse share a kind of friendship that belies the differences between them. I have seen the faces of those lucky enough to be with horses when they speak of their steeds and the delighted light in their eyes tells me how wondrous it must be to know what they know.

I have two grandsons who are talented runners. When they are moving down the track they leave me breathless both from the realization of how fast they are moving and the loveliness of the mechanics of their bodies. So it is for me with horses, which makes me particularly happy for my granddaughter who is now learning how to ride. She hopes to one day be a veterinarian and hers is not just a childish dream. She is already studying and planning and creating goals to realize her ambition. Learning to ride a horse is part of that objective. She understands that she must become familiar and relaxed with animals if she is to one day care for them. She must know them with all of their tendencies and traits. I admire her so for following through on her passion just as my grandsons do with their running, but I am also secretly thrilled that she will ride horses regularly as I have always wished to do.

It’s too late for me to join my granddaughter on the back of a stallion. My bones are brittle and easily broken. I have been warned by my doctors to stay away from sport that may result in a fall, so have put away my skates and sold my bicycle. I have to keep my feet as firmly planted on the ground as possible, but nothing can keep me from watching and observing. I can still enjoy the sight of my grandsons running with so much grace. Nothing is stopping me from enjoying the image of a horse running with or without a rider. It is such a glorious sight that I am able to picture it in my mind, and it always makes me smile.

We humans dominate nature and its creatures. We should always remind ourselves to be stewards of the abundant blessings that have been bestowed upon us. It is incumbent that we care for what we have and never forget to appreciate what we have been given. Life is precious whether it be a a flowering garden, an animal living beside us, or a baby in a womb. We have been tasked to make the most of all of earth’s treasures, and just as we care for our own health we must be conscious of the health of our planet and all that exists on it. I would hate to think that we might one day awake to find that the trees and flowers have turned brown or the waters are clouded with debris. Even worse would be losing our animals. Like many native Americans I believe that the horses and dogs and bears and bees are our brothers and sisters. They were meant to be as much a part of our earth as are we, and so we must remind ourselves to honor them as best we can.

I can imagine the sight of powerful horses running with precision, but I don’t want to imagine a world without them. I don’t believe that any of us are on the brink of extinction, but I do believe that without curbing our own hungers we might destroy far too much of our world. Our rule should be to find moderation in all things. Waste not want not is a very good motto. Turn out a light. Walk more. Eat less. Repair rather than throw away. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Keep the horses running. Keep humankind at its best.

Our Foundation

Published on by Sharron BurnettLeave a comment

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It’s the day after Mother’s Day and I find myself thinking about what it means to be a mom. I learned all that I needed to know from my mama who was exceptionally good at the task. I always marvel at the fact that she somehow managed to raise three children each of whom is totally different from the others. She allowed us to be ourselves and ultimately it made us into very happy adults. She loved and guided us, teaching us right from wrong, but then let us develop our own passions. She parented us all alone because our father had died when we were eight, five and three respectively.

A truly good mother like her is able to provide everything that children need, but it is a challenging  job that requires full time devotion, and my mom was always ready to give us her all. She admittedly spoiled us but only with love, not things. We appreciated her, but nonetheless I don’t think that we ever really knew how important she was to us until she had died Now we remember all of the little things that she did that once seemed so insignificant. In fact I find myself calling upon her wisdom and generous spirit more and more as time goes by.

My mother-in-law was another model of motherhood who was only able to bear a single child which was quite dangerous for her. She had a congenital heart defect that doctors felt would shorten her life, and so when she became pregnant they were certain that having a baby would kill her. Not to be bullied into terminating the pregnancy, she insisted on taking the risk. The delivery was complex but ultimately successful, and one of the proudest moments of her life. After my husband was born she the proceeded to love him so much that she turned him into one of the sweetest people to ever walk the earth. Her parenting style proved that some good things are never too much.

I was a young mother who still resembled a child when I first became a mom. I made the kind of mistakes that come from immaturity, but I know without reservation that my girls were the most wonderful gift that I had ever received. I literally thought about them almost every waking moment. More than anything I wanted them to grow to be great women like their grandmothers, and my dreams have very much come true. They are not just good moms. They are extraordinary.

Mothers are the foundation of society, the first teachers of the young. They quietly sacrifice for their children, rarely drawing attention to the many things that they do. They awake in the middle of the night to feed a hungry infant or to console a feverish body. They juggle routines and schedules to get their little ones to lessons and activities. They slowly help them to develop their talents and interests, sometimes adjusting their budgets to provide opportunities for their hard work to take hold. Their own responsibilities and worries grow, but they rarely share the concerns and stresses that rattle around in their heads. The children’s joys are their joys, just as the pain becomes theirs as well.

Sometimes we grow up and look back at photographs of our mothers and marvel at how lovely they were before we were born. We forget that they were once young themselves, dreaming of lives that may or may not have turned out the way they had imagined. We find ourselves one day looking at their graying hair and wrinkled skin and we remember when they ran and played with us. We think of those times when they tucked us into bed, or just smiled at us from across a room. They seemed to love us for no particular reason, but simply because we existed. We gained and lost friends, but our moms were ever faithful, ready to hug and comfort us even without being asked, even when we had ignored them or hurt their feelings.

Moms come in so many different versions. Like snowflakes no two are exactly the same and yet they are all similar. Some moms carry us in their wombs, and others choose us when we have no other place to go, loving us as much as they would have if we were their very own. Some moms dedicate themselves to the home and others balance their care of us with careers. All of them are beautiful.

This past weekend I attended a lovely graduation party for one of my former students. She spoke to us about the things that her mother had done to help her to earn her degree. There were nights when she was up in the middle of the night studying, nearly exhausted. Her mom would arise from her own sleep and bring coffee and encouragement. When she was frustrated her mother would cheer her onward. The young woman believes that her achievement is just as much her mother’s as her own. She understands that without the sacrifices that her mom made her great day might never have come. She rightly credited both of her parents for the wondrous things they had done from the time that she was born, and realizes that they will continue to walk beside her in her journey through life.

We sometimes forget how remarkable and demanding a job being a mom actually is. Sadly the day eventually comes when she is gone. Still her spirit somehow lives on inside our hearts. We see her in the things that we say and do. Her face in forever etched in our minds. We know that she is with us, guiding and consoling us through time and space.

God bless all of the mothers of the world and those who use their maternal instincts to help all children to grow in wisdom and grace.

Grace

Published on by Sharron BurnettLeave a comment

Nancy

I have always loved the name Nancy. I called one of my favorite dolls Nancy, and when I grew older I read every single Nancy Drew mystery that I was able to find. One of my all time favorite friends is named Nancy as well, so it was only natural that I would instantly like Nancy Marquina when she was a student in my Algebra I class. Her easy going nature and ever present generosity became immediately apparent, and so I truly enjoyed being in her presence.

Like me, Nancy was new to the world of KIPP charter schools, but she had adjusted to the academic rigors and steadfast rules rather easily. I would learn that her flexible attitude is one of her greatest strengths, but she is also a very determined sort. Each afternoon she attended my tutorials even though I sometimes suspected that she had already mastered the concepts. I think that she enjoyed the review time, but mostly she came to encourage friends who struggled a bit more with mathematics than she did. She became a kind of assistant to me, helping other students who were struggling to learn different ideas.

My favorite moment with Nancy came one afternoon when I was doing my best to once again explain the Distributive Property. I had tried arrows and pictures and all sorts of examples and there were still students who were confused by the concept. Nancy very politely suggested that I use a chant that she had learned from one of her former teachers. She drew a little bunny next to the problem that we were solving and then said, “Hippity hoppity, Distributive Property” as she sketched little footprint tracks as though the rabbit had come to the rescue. She patiently explained that the little creature needed to multiply both of the numbers inside the parentheses, not just one.

I was about to thank her and note that this was a high school class and using bunnies probably would not be appropriate when I saw the smiles of understanding on the faces of the students who had seemed hopelessly lost only minutes earlier. A few examples later proved that they had indeed finally caught on to the process. Since that time I’ve shared Nancy’s cute little idea with many students, and each time they respond positively and with utter delight. I always tell them that it was not my notion, but one from a favorite student. 

I have been fortunate enough to stay in touch with Nancy Marquina as she progressed through high school and later entered college. What I know is that she is someone who is humble and loyal and kind, bringing joy into the lives of the people that she meets with no expectations of having her kindnesses returned. It seems so appropriate that the name Nancy means grace because that is what she brings to people, and with her natural beauty both inside and out she is the very image of grace.

Shortly after I retired form education my nephew asked me to help tutor some of his students in preparation for a high stakes mathematics test. I readily agreed because I still enjoy being able to unlock the understanding of the world of numbers in those who see them as a mystery. I soon learned that so many students had signed up for the Saturday morning sessions that there was a need for one more person to work with them. I made an appeal to some of my former students who had been especially good in math, and Nancy responded almost immediately. She was eager to do her part and I knew from my own experiences with her that she would be great.

Not surprisingly the students fell in love with Nancy. She arrived each Saturday with a big smile and tons of encouragement for her charges. She often stopped to purchase donuts for her crew which only sweetened her relationship with the kids. Mostly she used her caring and empathetic nature to instill the kind of confidence in them that had been missing before she came into their lives. That’s just how Nancy is, someone who is always thinking of others more than herself, quietly making a difference without asking for credit for her good deeds.

Nancy eventually enrolled in the Mechanical Engineering Department at the University of Houston. She took more and more difficult engineering and mathematics classes with a sense of purpose that drove her to be unafraid of the challenges that lay ahead. Over time she felt that something was missing in her major, so she did some research and spoke with some experts to see if there was another line of study that might better suit her interests. That’s when she found the world of Geophysics and it took little time for her to be hooked.

There was nothing easy about majoring in Geophysics, but Nancy has rarely avoided difficult situations. She dove into the task, taking science, mathematics and engineering courses one after another. With a kind of grit that motivates the most adventurous among us, Nancy moved closer and closer to achieving goals that she had quietly set for herself long ago. Today she will graduate from the University of Houston with a major in Geophysics and a minor in Mathematics.

I am so happy and proud for Nancy Marquina. I always knew that she is a remarkable woman. I have admired her spunk and her concern for others for many years. I have little doubt that she will enjoy many more successes in her life. She is one of those people who perseveres when others have quit. She is an unafraid warrior who pushes herself and helps others along the way. She has reinforced my belief that Nancy is a name for very special people. She is grace incarnate.