Christmas Gumbo

(Note: This blog is a repeat from the past that is back by popular demand. This time it even includes the recipe that I use to make gumbo for my Christmas Day dinner. Enjoy!)

I still haven’t quite learned how to take it easy at Christmastime. I don’t get stressed out like I used to as much as tuckered out. I cling to so many traditions that I am not yet ready to eliminate. So far I am hanging in there but I secretly worry that the day will come when I just can’t do all of the things that I insist on accomplishing. My right knee keeps screaming at me to take it easy but I refuse to give in even though my doctor tells me to listen to my body. Besides, I’ve found a new weapon this year. I’ve taught Mike how to cook.

He is fascinated with the culinary arts anyway. I can visit Williams Sonoma with him anytime that I wish. He walks up and down the same aisles over and over again and never appears to tire of looking for new gadgets, cutlery, and cookware. If I put such items from the store on my wish list I’m almost certain to receive them. I have one of the best stocked kitchens in the city. I have literally reached a point where there is very little that is left to purchase and Mike is bursting with pride over the quality of my implements. On major occasions I have all the equipment that I need to prepare a feast for forty people. The only thing that has been lacking of late is the old energy that I used to possess.

I’ve experimented a great deal with the Christmas dinner that I prepare for my ever growing extended family and never really felt satisfied until last year. My brother roasts the best turkey ever on Thanksgiving so my attempts to go in that route always felt lackluster. I’ve tried roasts and hams and have concocted an assortment of sides. A few years back I think that I actually found the perfect combination but I had to spend days on end cooking and by the time my guests arrived I was too pooped to even care. So last year I made a major decision. I was going to create a new and crazy tradition unlike anything that I had ever before done.

I make a very good gumbo. I’ve slowly but surely perfected the technique and it’s all done from scratch. I have a great recipe that I have tweaked a bit here and there and I generally have incredible results. The only trouble is that I have to use certain pots or the brew doesn’t quite taste right. That means that I can’t double the recipe and I am actually a bit wary of doing that anyway lest it change the chemistry of my ingredients. All of that means that I must meticulously make the gumbo one batch at a time, something I did last season that nearly put me in bed on Christmas Day. I spent well over sixteen hours straight cooking my famous seafood and chicken stews on December 23, and by the end of my marathon I was limping to bed.

For all of this year I have tried to determine how to streamline my process and without warning it came to me that if I were to enlist Mike as my chef in training I would be able to concoct two batches of gumbo at a time and still maintain the integrity of the process. I was absolutely right in guessing that he would thoroughly enjoy the task. What I had dreaded turned into a most enjoyable day for the two of us.

Mike likes to create an atmosphere. He always has. When we were dating he devised a way to have a steady stream of music in his car by carrying a tape player in the backseat. He deftly changed from one prerecorded hour of music to another by reaching behind his seat. Eventually he caught up with modernity by installing an eight track tape player on the dashboard thus allowing him to hold my hand while he drove. I always thought that he was quite clever in finding ways to make ordinary evenings more special. So it didn’t surprise me at all when he found some Christmas in New Orleans music to accompany our cooking session yesterday.

We boiled two pots of shrimp shells and two of blue crabs while we sliced and diced fresh okra, onions, green pepper, celery and garlic. He is so much better with a knife than I am. I think it frustrated him to watch me fumbling with the blades and wearing a protective mesh glove to make sure that I didn’t cut my fingers. He used our chef’s knife like a pro and had his half of the chopping done in half of the time it took me. I think that he secretly enjoyed showing off his skills.

Once we had a steaming seafood broth we gently browned the okra until the ropiness was gone. It was finally time to make the roux. I gently instructed Mike in the process and was soon enough reminded that he is a quick learner. I tend to worry too much about burning the concoction and all too often I pull the plug before the mixture is dark enough. Mike, on the other hand, decided to risk it all by letting his roux turn an ever deeper brown color. The result was perfection. I have to admit that I was quite impressed.

We put in the vegetables and cooked them until they were soft and sticking to the bottom of our pans. We added the tomatoes and the spices to create an even more tantalizing base. Finally we added the broth from the crabs and shrimp and let our heavenly gumbos simmer for an hour. I checked on the progress every fifteen minutes and found that Mike had created a perfect dish on his very first try. All that was left was to add the crabs and the shrimp that we had set aside earlier. After a little more than three hours we had two steaming hot pots of gumbo fit for a king. Even better, we had enjoyed a day of laughter and silly conversation with some great Christmas jazz playing in the background. Somehow it felt perfect.

Mike and I will enjoy another cooking session this afternoon. I have some huge containers to hold the rich stew and I will freeze our creations until the big day. Best of all I will have some delicious fare to offer my guests without putting myself into an early grave. I’ve found the secret at last!

As Mike and I age I think that I will have pre-Christmas gumbo making parties with some of my children and grandchildren. They will learn how to make my most famous dish and I will get the help that I need. Besides we need to keep the recipe in the family. The ingredients are easy enough to find in a book but as with all cooking I tweak the process a bit here and there based on my experiences with perfecting the taste. I add a few little things that seem to enhance the flavors even more.

I’m excited that I now have a gumbo making intern. I can already tell that Mike is ready to try new cooking adventures. I’ve tapped into a side of him that I didn’t know was there. Maybe he will ultimately push me aside and take over the kitchen. I don’t know why it never occurred to me before to invite him into my domain. I suppose that I should have picked up on all of the hints that he was leaving me whenever we made those visits to cookware stores. He was always as intrigued by the implements there as he is when we go to Harbor Freight. I think that he has been longing to receive an invitation into the culinary world but my control freak personality had frightened him away. It’s taken me far too long to let things go but I am slowly but surely altering my personality to be more easy going.

We had a ton of fun working together. The hours passed so quickly and the job felt more like entertainment than toil. We ended our cooking marathon with a viewing of A Christmas Carol and felt a sense of wonder at our grand accomplishment. It feels good to finally have this thing called Christmas figured out. My next phase is going to be to farm out the cleanup duties. That may be a harder sell but I’m ready. I’ve put my white glove of perfection away and learned how to enjoy the moment.

For those of you who have been asking, here is the recipe for the Seafood Gumbo with a nod to The Gumbo Shop in New Orleans for the basic ideas. I’ll send out the Chicken and Sausage recipe tomorrow.

2 lbs of shrimp (I buy the frozen package from HEB that is always as good as fresh       shrimp and easier to keep on hand.)

2 or 3 small blue crabs (HEB has a package of frozen crabs that work well)

3 quarts water

2 Tbls. cooking oil

1 quart of okra (Again HEB comes to the rescue with frozen and cut okra)

2/3 cup cooking oil

1 medium onion

1 green bell pepper

1 stem of celery

2 cloves of garlic

16 ounces of diced tomatoes

2 bay leaves

2 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. black pepper

1/2 tsp. white pepper

1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper

small container of cooked crab meat

Peel and devein the the shrimp and set aside the raw shrimp in a bowl in the refrigerator. (If you purchase the frozen variety from HEB it will already be deveined.) Place the shrimp shells and heads in a stock pot with 2 quarts of water. (I add a 2 or 3 tablespoons of Louisiana powdered crab and shrimp boil just to give the broth an extra kick.) Bring the water to a boil and then simmer for 30 to 45 minutes. Once the broth is done drain the mixture into a bowl using a colander. Save the broth and discard the shells. Set aside for later use. At the same time as you are boiling the shrimp shells and heads place the crabs in a pot with one quart of water. (I add a tablespoon of crab and shrimp boil to this as well.) Bring to a boil and then simmer for 20 to 30 minutes. Strain being sure to save both the stock and the crabs. Set the cooked crabs aside along with the broth.

While the two broths are cooking chop all of the vegetables and line up the remaining ingredients so that you will be able to grab them quickly during the cooking process.

Heat 2 tablespoons of oil in a heavy skillet and saute the okra on medium heat until the ropiness is gone. This may take 10 to 15 minutes. Stir frequently to keep the okra from burning.

Now it’s time to make the roux. Put 2/3 cup of oil in a heavy pot and let it heat up just a bit then add the 1/2 cup of flour. Stir the mixture of oil and flour constantly. As the process continues bubbles will begin to form and the mixture will smell like popcorn. Keep stirring until a nice dark brown color is achieved. Be careful not to burn the roux.

Once you have a color that you like add the onions, green pepper, celery and garlic. Saute them in the mixture until they are tender. Scrape the bottom of the pan if the vegetables begin to stick.

When the vegetables are tender add the tomatoes and all of the spices. Cook this mixture for about 10 minutes continuing to stir and scrape the bottom of the pan. Add the sauteed okra and cook for 10 more minutes.

Now add all of the crab stock and one quart of the shrimp stock to the pot. (You should have about two quarts of liquid in the pot.) Bring the mixture to a boil while stirring constantly. Reduce the heat and simmer in a covered pot for one hour, checking the mixture frequently and stirring. You can add more spices during the cooking process according to your taste. After an hour add the crabs and let them cook for 10 minutes then put in the shrimp and let them cook for 5 minutes. I also add some crab meat from the small container to give the gumbo more texture and flavor.

Feel free to adjust the spices. My crew likes their gumbo hot so I don’t hold back but I sample the mixture throughout the cooking process until it seems just right.

The gumbo always tastes better if you allow it to sit in the pot in the refrigerator for a day before serving. I often freeze the gumbo to use later. I thaw it in the refrigerator the day before I intend to use it. It heats up nicely. Just be sure not to overcook the shrimp. I take out the crab bodies and legs because my grandchildren don’t like having to work around them but some people like to keep them in the gumbo for effect. You can remove the meat from the crab shells and put it in the pot if you wish.

Serve the gumbo over rice with a green salad and either French or garlic bread.   

     

All the World’s Her Stage

PhotoChooser-c7f39c0a-b770-463d-8651-e5bcb06a3271.jpgMaybe it’s the smile. Maybe it’s the twinkle in her eyes. Maybe it’s the genuineness of her personality. For whatever reason Andrea Castro, who prefers to be called Andy, stands out even in a crowd. There is something angelic and impish about her that draws people into her orbit. She is as lovely as the sun, the moon and the stars and I am one of the lucky people who gets to call her a friend.

Andy was one of the students at the high school where I spent my last years in education. Everyone loved her, mostly because she was so down to earth and genuine. She was talented in virtually every regard but it was music that most excited her. An instrument in her hands became a work of art and somehow we all knew that it was her destiny to pursue her talent as a lifelong career.

After high school she invited me to one of her recitals that was held at the University of St. Thomas. She played the violin that night and both my husband and I were enthralled, especially in knowing that she also had the capability of making music with other instruments as well. It was a lovely moment in which I felt a sense of pride and gratitude in being able to share in the essence of who Andy is.

Eventually Andy was accepted into the prestigious music therapy program at Texas Women’s University. She reveled in the creative atmosphere there that allowed her expansive personality to soar ever higher. It was as though she had found the perfect place in which to grow as an artist and a person. I followed her progress and sent good vibes her way each time she had a big concert or presentation. She worked hard and little by little moved forward in her knowledge of music and her quest to become a therapist.

This past fall she bravely entered the adult world by accepting an internship at a Veterans Administration Hospital in Augusta, Georgia. She loaded up her car and drove off to points unknown where she charmed a whole new group of people who fell under her lovely spell. She excelled in her work and felt particularly proud of her accomplishments and the impact that she was having on the patients with whom she interacted. It provided her with the perfect opportunity of combining her beautiful music with the joyfulness of her heart. I imagine that she brought smiles and hope to many a damaged soul, for the most incredible thing about Andy is her ability to love so sincerely.

Andy took great delight in all of her experiences as an intern. She made friends who will remember her for a lifetime but more importantly she made a difference in the lives of veterans suffering from PTSD, depression and other mind altering illnesses. I can’t think of anyone better suited for such work than Andy so I was not at all surprised to learn that her coworkers were saddened when she had to leave or that she had so impressed them that they felt comfortable putting her in charge of the program in their absence. Of course she earned an A for her participation but more important are the life lessons that she will likely draw upon as she enters the next phase of her life.

Andrea Castro is officially a graduate of Texas Women’s University with a major in Music Therapy. She has begun the process of searching for a job and to both her delight and surprise she has already had offers. I suspect that she will not be an unemployed college graduate for long and whoever lands her will be incredibly lucky.

Andy always makes me smile. She has an uncanny way of making everyone feel comfortable, relaxed. There is no need to put on airs with Andy, no reason to worry. She makes it clear that she is not just accepting but also that she enjoys and prefers the variety of the human experience. She faces the world with optimism and warmth that radiates from her beautiful face. She loves people and animals and somehow finds a spark of hope in even the most desperate situation. She seems to instinctively know what to say or do to help people feel better about themselves. I know that there have been moments when she helped me through a difficult day with her humor and her sweetness without even being aware of her influence on my mood.

I am particularly excited about Andy’s future as she tackles the world of adults. I have every confidence that she will have a spectacular life because of her love of music that she has used to tap into to the very soul of humanity to showcase her generous heart. I marvel that so many of us who know her have been touched by her magnanimous spirit and her warm smile. I’m happy to be part of her growing fan club and to have played a teeny tiny part in her development into a most remarkable woman. I wish her all the best as she launches her career.

Andrea Castro is someone to watch. I think that we will hear about her accomplishments again and again. She is indeed a very special person who oozes an understated and disarming charisma. The whole world will be her stage and she will be a super star as she heals hearts and souls.

A Most Extraordinary Woman

14469587_10154575770011967_2241016345344877148_n-1We worry as a society because there seems to be a noticeable lack of ethical behavior in today’s world. We’ve seen our fellow citizens gloss over lies when convenient and often make excuses for acts that might have been deemed unacceptable in the past. When individuals have the courage to speak up for their principles too often people chastise them for not going with the flow of modern day thinking. It is more and more difficult for someone to demonstrate moral courage because in doing so they may become the butt of insulting tweets or Facebook posts that demean them rather than celebrate them as the noble people that they are.

Joanna Rodriguez is my own personal hero. I watched this quiet and unassuming young woman become a warrior for justice at a moment in time when few of her peers were willing to step forward to do the right thing. There was an incident at the high school where I was the Dean of Faculty in which a group of students were caught attempting to make copies of an exam that had been stolen from one of the teachers. The principal gathered the members of the class together hoping that someone who had information on the culprits might acknowledge the truth. Instead there was a deadly conspiratorial silence in the room as the teacher emotionally urged his students to speak the truth.

Suddenly Joanna emerged from the back of the room and stood defiantly in front of her classmates. She spoke eloquently of the importance of providing information on anyone who may have been involved in the cheating. She was so moved in her search for the truth that her voice broke and she seemed to be on the verge of tears. Her classmates stared incredulously at her and for a time nobody spoke but they had indeed heard her words. Not long afterward several other highly respected members of the class secretly revealed who had been involved in the scandal.

I was in awe of Joanna Rodriguez for the depth of her character and for the bravery that she had exhibited. It was not in her nature to be the center of attention but it was very much like her to be a champion for what is right and just. I knew back then that our world was going to be a better place because it would have young people like her moving into positions of leadership in the future. Now Joanna is ready to assume the full mantle of adulthood as a graduate of the University of Houston Downtown with a degree in education.

Joanna has worked long and hard to reach this moment and she is more than prepared to become a teacher at KIPP Voyage Girls Academy this spring. She excelled in her classes and did an outstanding job as a student teacher. Little wonder that she was recruited by more than one school district. She has chosen to return to her roots in the KIPP Charter system to pay forward the lessons that she learned when she was young as well as those that she mastered in college.

Joanna will be an exceptional role model for the young ladies of KIPP Voyage. She carries herself with the kind of dignity and confidence that they need to see. She is bright and creative and most of all incredibly loving. I have little doubt that she will be successful at building lasting relationships with her students and that she will show them how to find their own paths to and through life. She is living proof that working hard and being nice pay huge dividends. 

Joanna Rodriguez and young women like her represent the best of our future. She has become exactly the kind of person that we hoped she and her classmates would one day be. She is the culmination of efforts from many dedicated people and now she will accept the mantle of responsibility to continue those efforts in guiding a new generation of students. She is so real and so ready to embark on the most important work that anyone might ever do.

Joanna has had an exhilarating couple of months. In addition to completing her university requirements and practicing her craft as a student teacher, she became engaged to a very fine young man. I suspect that the two of them will eventually build a family as strong and loving as the one in which she grew in her own wisdom and grace. Her parents worked in tandem with those of us who were her educators and demonstrated their devotion to raising her well. She has enjoyed a very fine example of parenting that will serve her both in the classroom with her students and later if she decides to have children of her own.

I feel a certain sense of pride that Joanna has chosen to be a teacher. It is one of the most noble professions but it is also difficult. Sadly our society does not always celebrate the importance of educating the young. It sometimes takes true grit to expend the long hours and to endure the criticisms of a society that is willing to pay college football coaches millions while neglecting to honor the men and women who toil unsung in our schools. If there is anyone who has what it takes to rise above the clamor and realize the joy and importance of teaching, it is Joanna Rodriguez.

I hope that she finds as much fulfillment in her career as I did and that she has the pleasure of meeting many young people like herself. I wish for her to find the daily pleasure that is the reward of working with our young. I wish her well as she begins a journey that will be filled with many adventures and blessings. Most of all I thank her for including me in the climb to the top of her mountain. From where I stand the view is beautiful and I see a most wonderful future for her.

Gleeful Sounds

music-notes-clip-art-png-139835101453My mother had so many natural talents, among them was an incredible ear for music. She had no idea what the notes on a sheet meant but she was able to clearly hear the nuances of melodies and harmonies. When she taught a group of fifth graders she became well known for the beautiful sounds of singing that wafted from her classroom. Other teachers would ask her to provide them with the music for her creations but she had no idea how to do so. She was untrained in the intricacies of composing but she had the ability to note even the tiniest change in the sounds that comprised the lovely arrangements of the musicians that she admired. Thus her choral direction lead her students to perform as beautifully as the Vienna Boys Choir.

Mama had a lovely alto voice and she knew the words to hundreds of songs. She and my father shared a love of music but he tended to favor only classical pieces whereas she was up to speed with all of the latest pop tunes as well. She rocked to the sounds of The Rolling Stones with as much enthusiasm as to the symphonies of Beethoven. She almost seemed to feel the music in some extraordinary way that traveled all the way through her body down to her feet. In addition to having a sixth sense about how to put voices together in perfect harmony she was an exceptional dancer who seemed to literally float above the floor when she performed her routines. When people complimented her grace and style and wondered where she had learned such skills she admitted that she was self trained. She carefully watched the best dancers of her era and imitated their moves.

My brothers and I liked to entertain ourselves and our neighborhood friends by putting on shows in the summertime. Our mother was our choreographer, teaching us how to tap dance in unison with our singing. As a vocal coach she designed intricate harmonies for us so that our performances seemed almost professional. While we loved the limelight when the audience of friends whooped and hollered in appreciation for our efforts what was most fun were the rehearsals with our mom. We were in awe of her ability to create such lovely renditions of the songs that we so loved. She made our little efforts seem so important and all of us recall those times with her with such joy.

Eventually we grew up and began families of our own. All of us had a definite love of music that felt as natural as the traits caused by our DNA. One brother tended toward my father’s way of thinking and preferred mostly classical pieces but he has a particular passion for popular female singers as well. The other brother went all the way with country songs, even developing a wonderful talent for two stepping in time with the tunes. My own interests in music run the gamut and I find myself discovering and enjoying new genres and artists even to this day.

When my children were young I encouraged them to appreciate music and dance as much as my mother did but I also went out of my way to provide them with formal lessons to help them along. I didn’t seem to have the talents that my mother did so I was of little use in providing them with guidance at home with one exception. Each Christmas I showed them how to sing White Christmas in four part harmony with me and my husband Mike. It worked out well because each of us had a different singing range. Mike took the baritone part, our eldest daughter was the alto, I did a low soprano and the youngest had a knack for hitting the high notes. We would sing our way to all of the Christmas Eve and Christmas day events with Bing Crosby crooning in the background. It became a tradition and for a time we were certain that if a talent scout were to hear our enchanting sounds we would immediately become super stars. Mostly though it was a fun time that bonded us with laughter and glee. It became as much a part of our holiday routine as finding oranges and nuts in our stockings. Somehow our rendition was especially spectacular in those years when the weather was rather frightful. It had the power to warm our hearts.

My grandchildren have all learned to play instruments and read music. They are quite good and appear to have a bit of the innate talent that my mother displayed. Jack has mastered the piano, guitar and French horn in addition to singing in musicals. Ian plays the cello like an angel. Eli took up the oboe like his mother did when she was his age and emits a sweet and haunting tone. Andrew did quite well with tenor saxophone but set it aside to study engineering. Abigail has an angelic voice but most enjoys creating lovely sounds with the clarinet. Ben plays the tuba with gusto and William makes the violin sing. They all have enjoyed the advantage of having well trained teachers to develop their talents and take them to ever more complex levels for learning the intricacies of music.

There is still something quite charming about the simple ditties that my brothers and I sang with the help of our mom. It was homespun fun of the kind that our ancestors probably enjoyed long ago when entertainment was beholden to imagination. After long days of work families were lucky to have anything more than the creativity that lived inside their heads to pass away the hours. The folk songs and handmade instruments that kept time with the tunes were all that they had and yet somehow in all cultures there were those who seemed to naturally understand how to use what they had to make music. Song and dance are part of our make up as human beings. It is something that we are drawn to do and enjoy.

These days my family choir has been reduced to just me and Mike. We still like to sing along with Bing and recall those times with our girls. It’s funny how we can’t remember all of the gifts that we have received for Christmas over the years but we do enjoy the fondest memories of our family choir. My brothers and I feel the same way about those show tunes and dances that we learned from our mother. They are bright spots in our minds that are more precious than possessions. There is something quite heartwarming about the simplicity of shared experiences that make us laugh and love together. Somehow they always seem to matter the most. 

  

Lessons From The Gang

ourgang4_xlargeBack when I was a child most of the local television stations filled the programming hours in the afternoon with old black and white movies usually of the B variety. I never saw many A listers in those films but some of them were surprisingly good and memorable. I grew to have a particular affection for the short Our Gang flicks featuring an adorably talented group of children known as The Little Rascals. I didn’t realize back then that the beloved characters and stories that I watched so eagerly were filmed back in the 1920’s and 30’s. Those kids were long grown up by the time that I was laughing at their antics. They represented life during very hard times for the world and overriding all of their mischief there was always a moral for how to live life to the fullest. Their tales and the lessons they taught were universal enough to the human experience that I still think about how much they influenced me.

For some reason one of the episodes of that long ago time has stuck in my mind throughout my lifetime. It featured a family of children trying desperately to find an extraordinary gift for their mother. The little ones did odd jobs to earn money but even when they put all of their savings together they were still shy of having enough to purchase the kinds of presents that they so desperately wanted to give her. Their prayers appeared to be answered when they encountered a big sale at their local department store. Even though there were limited styles and sizes being offered at the low prices they managed to find an entire outfit of clothing for their mom, including a hat and shoes. It was with great fanfare and joy that they presented their gift of love to her.

The final scene shows the elated mother walking proudly down the street ignoring the gaping stares and whispers as she greets her friends and neighbors with her head held high. The dress from her little ones is quite obviously several sizes too large and hangs dangerously from her shoulders ready to drop to the ground if she does not walk very carefully. The shoes are little better and the hat is quite ridiculous. Still the pride with which she carries herself and the smile on her face insures her children that she is enchanted by the outfit that they worked so hard to buy her. Her selflessness and gratitude radiates and the smiles on the kids’ faces tell a story all its own.

In this season of giving we have at times become all too expectant in our wants and desires. Madison Avenue has somehow convinced us that this should be a time for receiving a new car or very expensive jewelry or electronics. The spaces underneath our Christmas trees are often crammed with gifts that may or may not satisfy us or those to whom we give our offerings. Most of us would be unlikely to demonstrate the kind of appreciation for a misfit gift that the mom in that old production showed to her children. Instead of simply enjoying the thoughts behind the many gifts that we receive we all too often obsess over whatever may have been lacking.

My mother loved visiting friends and family at Christmastime. It was quite fun going from one house to another and viewing the Christmas decorations and presents under the trees. One lady that Mama knew always received professionally wrapped gifts from her husband. They were so lovely that I would have had a difficult time tearing the paper and bows apart to find out what was inside. There always seemed to be mountains of boxes just for her. I remember thinking how wonderful it would be if my widowed mom had someone to be so extravagant and thoughtful to her. She had to be satisfied with the small homemade things that my brothers and I gave her but her friend seemed to be feted like a queen. Ironically instead of being happy she complained every single year about how she would no doubt have to take everything back because her man had such poor taste. She insisted that it was a trial for her to even think of opening the presents because she was convinced that she would dislike them all. Somehow it never occurred to her how hard he was trying to please her. The attitude that she proclaimed seemed so wrong to me and I wanted to fuss at her but I was just a child and such lectures would have been wrong. Instead I told myself that I would never ever be so selfish.

A gift is far more than just the item inside a package. It is an outward sign that someone cares and has taken the time and the resources to show love. Regardless of how small, a present should never be taken for granted. Instead we should treasure the idea behind the offering. Someone in the busyness of the day has thought to make us happy. If we consider how powerful such an act is then we realize that it really is the thought that counts. 

My father read so many fairytales to me but the one that seemed to resonate the most was about a fisherman who caught a magic flounder. He was granted a wish if he agreed to throw the hapless fish back into the water. Knowing that his wife was saddened by the deplorable condition of the shanty in which they lived he asked that he receive a nice little home. When he returned from work that evening his wife was beaming as she emerged from a small but tidy cabin. When he told her how the miracle had come to pass she frowned and upbraided him for making such a small request. Instead of being satisfied by her improved condition she longed for more.

As luck would have it the fisherman once again caught the magical creature who offered yet another wish. This time he was more specific in requesting a mansion with lots of money to match the splendor of the house. By this time his wife was on to the game and she met him at the door railing that he still had not requested enough. She fretted that he might have done so much better and became ever more unhappy even in the midst of splendor. Of course as the tale proceeds the fisherman catches the fish again and again asking for more and more audacious gifts with each new opportunity. In the end the flounder decides to give the man what he needs rather than what he thinks he should have. The hapless fisherman returns home to find his wife standing in front of the shanty that had originally been their home.

In this season we would all do well to keep our desires within reason and teach our children to do the same. Learning how to appreciate the blessings that we have is crucial to finding the happiness that we all seek. The baby for whom the holiday was named was not a king or a man of power but a humble soul. We would all do well to follow His example and to remember the moral of the story of mankind that is repeated over and over again. It is in giving that we truly receive. It is in loving that we find the greatest joy.