The One

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I remember a family member once asking me if I thought that the man that she was dating was “the one” for her. She had experienced real heartbreak before and she wanted to be certain that she was indeed with someone who truly loved her before she agreed to a lifetime commitment with him. 

I was flattered that she thought that I might be wise enough to distinguish real feelings of caring from those that are often induced by runaway emotions. I also felt a bit inadequate to decide something so important for her. I chose to ask her a series of questions. The first being, “How do you feel when you are with him?”

Without hesitation she smiled and said that he made her feel like the most important person in the world. She has a very stressful job and he understood her need to relax and laugh once in awhile. She said that he seemed to like her and think of her as being beautiful whether she was all decked out in her best hairdo and outfit or she was scraggly and in sweats. All in all she insisted that time spent with him always made her happy.  Continue reading “The One”

All the King’s Men

i282600889617322816._szw1280h1280_I took down my Christmas tree today. All signs of the season are mostly gone from my home. I have a few stray gifts that have not yet been delivered and I need to pack away a few more linens until next December. I always feel somewhat dreary when I convert my rooms back to their normal state. I know from experience that January is often filled with cold wet days and that there are few celebrations. Everyone is ready to get back to work and move on from all of the jocularity. 

In other parts of the world January 6 is the climax of the holiday season. Three Kings Day brings parties and more gift giving. When I visited Austria several years back children dressed like the Magi visited one house after another singing and gathering treats much like children do for Halloween here. Adults wrote the initials of the three famous gentlemen, Caspar, Balthazar and Melchior over their thresholds along with the date of the new year. It was a joyous day filled with festivities. In fact it was a legal holiday called the Epiphany and everyone joined in the fun. I have heard from my father-in-law that similar rituals take place on this date in Puerto Rico and other Hispanic countries. 

One of my favorite Three Kings Day stories came from a trip with Papa´to visit his family in Puerto Rico. His brother told of a little boy who refused to give up the habit of sucking his thumb and nibbling on a pacifier long after he should have outgrown such tendencies. His parents told him that Three Kings Day was a time for making some kind of sacrifice to show the Baby Jesus just how much he loved Him just as the kings from the east had done so long ago. The toddler listened attentively and later sneaked out of his bed on the night before the big occasion to leave his Binky in the manger right in front of the figurine of Jesus. He never again sucked his thumb or asked for an appliance to appease his oral fixation. 

I have always thought that extending the holiday season just a bit more was a lovely idea. Our family honored this day because it just so happened to be my brother Michael’s birthday. Still the celebration felt more like an afterthought than a true occasion. It was often difficult to find gifts for him because the stores were often emptied from the Christmas rush. It was generally our first day back at school as well, or at least very close to it. The weather quite often resembled the grey skies that we have seen so much of recently. All in all I always felt a bit sorry for my brother but he never seemed to mind. In fact he has always been rather easy going about almost everything in life. 

I suppose that I am a bit too sentimental. As I think back over the past few weeks I remember just how much fun I have had. The parties, dinners, lunches, graduations, programs, and visits with friends and family filled up my calendar and I was admittedly very tired but I guess that I am just one of those people who takes a brief rest and is quickly ready to get back in the party groove again. The truth is that sometimes we do in fact need a time to quiet ourselves and just enjoy a slower pace. It allows us to be more reflective and to take stock of where we have been and where we still need to go. It’s no doubt good for the body and the soul to hibernate just a bit. Staying in tune with nature and the seasons is not a bad idea at all.

When I was a teacher I often found January and February to be the longest stretch of time for the entire year. The routine seemed endless and it often felt as though the sun were never going to shine again. Now that I am retired I find that I actually enjoy days when I may stay inside with a good book or binge watch a great television series. Today I discovered the Netflix program that everyone seems to be talking about, Making a Murderer. Needless to say I am absolutely enthralled. I have been a fan of mysteries and detective programs since I was a child. I cut my teeth on the Nancy Drew books and moved on from there to all of the classic “who done it” stories. I’ll watch a police program before even considering a romantic comedy. I’ve devoured enough true crime tales to garner a doctorate. My mother used to joke that I should have been a detective or perhaps a lawyer. 

I’ve always said that I am the ideal juror for the defense but I don’t really want that information to get out too far. I tend to be quite skeptical of evidence unless it is of the very hardcore physical kind. I don’t believe that anyone should ever be found guilty based solely on theoretical stories invented by the prosecution. When in doubt I tend to favor the suspect. There are a large number of people in jail who might have been set free had it been up to me. Naturally I’m quite intrigued by the fascinating case in Making a Murderer.

Part of my mother’s mental illness led to paranoia. She often believed that someone was attempting to frame her. Of course it was all in her mind but I suspect that in reality there are poor souls who are often put away simply because they do not have the money or influence to mount a good defense of themselves. The reality of our justice system is that certain individuals are almost doomed to a life of incarceration simply because of poverty, ignorance or race. 

I’m anxious to keep watching this incredible series but I’m reluctant to surrender my entire day. I have other things to do but setting my chores aside is so very tempting because I’m dying to learn what finally happens to the individuals featured in this real life drama. I think that I may have already determined the outcome but I don’t want to volunteer my ideas just yet. I’ve still got six hours of viewing ahead of me and the story has already taken so many twists and turns that I am a bit uncertain as to what may yet happen. 

Happy Three Kings Day to all of you. For those of you who actually celebrate this special day I wish you lots of fun. Happy Birthday to my brother Michael. We’ll have the actual party this weekend. Finally if you are looking for something to fill your time on this rather dreary day I highly recommend that you try watching Making a Murderer on Netflix. We’ll have a conversation about it once we’ve all seen it. In the meantime stay warm and dry. We’ve got a long year ahead and the days may not always be so quiet. 

My Winter Sabbatical

i282600889616914856._szw1280h1280_My life was determined by work and traditions for so long that I have continued even long after retiring. I have always rushed from one task or event to another from my birthday in mid November all the way through Christmas Day. This year was no different. I have my regular round of cherished activities to uphold and they make me very happy indeed. The days in between Christmas and New Years Day have generally been a quiet sojourn for me. Mike was a retail banker by trade and he had little time away from work at this time of year. He was lucky if he got off early on Christmas Eve and unless Christmas landed on a weekend he was right back at work the day after the big holiday. Of course I was an educator and I had a nice long winter break so I was able to wish him well as he scurried back to work and then roll back under the covers to steal a bit of extra rest. 

I suppose that I should have felt a bit guilty that I had such a long vacation and Mike did not but somehow I always believed that Mike would see through my fake sympathy and know that I was far too happy about my own free time to worry about his lack of it. Besides, he was one of those people who never even came close to using his sick leave and vacation time. If he had worked for a business that paid for all of those accumulated hours at the time of retirement he would have had a nest egg worth at least two years or more of income. Instead he was quite dedicated to his work and understood that his customers, employees, and employers depended on his being in the trenches with them. Thus I was free to determine my own fate during the days leading up to the new year and I always chose the ways of a hibernating bear.   Continue reading “My Winter Sabbatical”

God’s Bounty

i282600889616707130._szw1280h1280_God’s bounty is all around us. We sometimes think of it as being sustenance or material possessions but in reality the plenty that truly sustains us comes in the form of the people who pass through our lives. If we have lived well and been willing to open our hearts He blesses us with family and friends who make us better for having known them. Lizette Coronado is one of those young women who slowly but surely burrows into people’s hearts. 

Lizette is small and delicate looking, almost like an elegant porcelain doll but beneath that exterior is a warrior, someone willing to fight for herself and the people that she loves. Like all of us Lizette is sometimes afraid such as when she first left the comfort and familiarity of her home and her friends to attend Trinity University. She is quiet and  shy by nature. Grappling with new situations is not easy for her but she possesses a kind of strength and courage that propels her forward even when she is uncomfortable. Thus it was when she first arrived at Trinity. In her own words it was a “scary’ time, one that she would both like to forget but also remembers with a touch of pride. Just as she says, “It is no secret that “scary” does not have to be a tiger chasing you in the jungle; “scary” can be spending the night in a dorm room in an unknown city with unknown people.  Scary can be getting lower grades than you’ve ever seen before. Scary can be wanting to give up before really starting but knowing that doing so is not a option. Scary can be setting your fears aside and pushing yourself just because it is the right thing to do. Scary is what everything about college was for me in the beginning!” Continue reading “God’s Bounty”

Gumbo Christmas

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I still haven’t quite figured out how to take it easy at Christmastime but I am working on getting better. I don’t get stressed out like I used to as much as tuckered out. I cling to so many traditions that I am not yet ready to eliminate. So far I am hanging in there but I secretly worry that the day will come when I just can’t do all of the things that I insist on accomplishing. My right knee keeps screaming at me to take it easy but I refuse to give in even though my doctor tells me to listen to my body. Besides, I’ve found a new weapon this year. I’ve taught Mike how to cook.   Continue reading “Gumbo Christmas”