Category: Commentary

It is now easier than ever before to gain knowledge about the world around us. The Internet is filled with information that rivals the greatest libraries of all time. With a quick search it is possible to find and read books of every sort and academic tracts and studies from the most enlightened minds of history. Ignorance is steadily on the decline as more and more of the world’s people learn to read, understand the scientific world and use numbers. The ability to use our minds is our most precious human gift and yet sadly far too many are still kept from reaching their highest potential due to cultural barriers, poverty, wars, and political indifference. Even among the educated there is often a tendency to blindly accept ideas without researching and critically analyzing them. Sometimes it is also true that there is such an abundance of knowledge that it is virtually impossible to know everything. 

We tend to get tiny slices of information during our youth. There is only time to expose our students to the very basics of science, mathematics, literature, philosophy, history. Unless a person continues to pursue learning after high school and dig deeply into a particular aspect of interest he/she misses so many remarkable ideas. Lifelong learning should be our goal but life itself often gets in the way of being able to continue our education. We get busy, set aside our books, lose interest in anything other than surviving from one day to the next. We close the windows of our minds and rely on others to keep us informed on an as needed basis. We often believe what we hear without taking the time to verify. We become more and more susceptible to manipulation because what we know is dreadfully incomplete. 

History is long and filled with contradictions. In the grand scheme of things our current situation is but a blip. The arc will continue after we are gone and it won’t take long for those left on this earth to move forward and forget the past. Sadly it is human nature to measure the merit of traditions based on the present rather than an understanding of history. Few of us know or care to know how things came to be, what prompted changes, why we are where we are. Yet sometimes deeply understanding the past allows us to make proper decisions in the present. If we learn what was really happening in the times before us we are able to critically assess the actions that have led us to where we now are. Unfortunately most of us have only a tiny slice of historical knowledge that is often sugar coated for presentation to the young. The truth is sometimes difficult to bear. 

Humans like to be happy. Life is difficult enough without stewing over former transgressions. We tend to want to ignore such things, just keep moving forward. We don’t want to worry too much about the future either. It feels better to just enjoy each day and muddle through any problems that appear along the way. The quicker we can shove difficulties out sight, the better. Life seems too short to spend time lamenting and yet there are moments when we humans cannot ignore what is happening around us. There are times when we know that we have to roll up our sleeves and become involved in the global connections that we all share as people whether we wish to or not. 

We appear to be in such a moment. We are facing two epidemics and if we are to survive either one we need leadership to unite us, not purposely pull us apart. We must accept that Covid-19 is a threat to all of us and that if we are to defeat it we need honesty and a united effort. As long as any of us are being falsely lead to believe that there is no danger, no need for precautions, everyone of us is at risk as well as the foundations of our economic and educational institutions. Wise leaders would tell us the truth and demonstrate a concern for both our physical and economic health. They would understand the need for unity and a willingness to sacrifice. They would work together, not with disdain. History has demonstrated time and again that ineffective leadership in a time of upheaval leads to unspeakable horrors. It is up to us to demand that our elected officials think first about the well being of the citizenry and do what is right with total transparency. 

We also have much civil unrest in our society. In truth our journey from a nation that embraced slavery to one in which justice for all is a given is not yet complete. We are still wandering in a desert  of sometimes overt and sometimes subtle racism. Even when we feel certain that we have never judged any other person on the basis of skin color or nationality or religious affiliation our indifference to their cries is an indication that we have not yet completed our obligation to set that original sin of our nation right. When hundreds of thousands of our fellow citizens tell us that they are still hurting, our response should be to believe them instead of attempting to silence them. We cannot and should not just turn out backs in righteous indignation. If we truly care about law and order then we should want to make it equitable for all. Instead so many shake their heads and click their tongues while our president daily attempts to make us fearful of those exercising their right to speak of their concerns. 

We are living in a modern day version of Alice in Wonderland. We are being led to believe that we need not fear Covid-19 when we should indeed be taking strict precautions. We are being told that rioters and looters are coming to destroy our nation and our neighborhoods when we have yet to truly learn what they need and we should not fear them. We are so busy attempting to drown out reality that we barely even take note of fires destroying people’s lives and hurricanes that level cities. We have enough real problems that we cannot afford to live in a land of make believe. People matter and many, including our president, are making things worse. None of us can afford to cower inside our homes quietly ignoring what we see happening before our very eyes. We have to speak up no matter how painful that may be. History demonstrates that the future depends on us. Do some research. Think without prejudice or self interest about what you are seeing unfold then use your voice, cast your vote.   

We tend to rock along in life tending to our basic needs, going to work, caring for our families, seeking diversions, creating comfortable routines. It’s easy to take things for granted and sometimes even become a bit bored with how our lives normally are. Then something happens that rocks the world, the death of a special person, a worrisome diagnosis from a doctor, a terrible accident, a betrayal of trust, a cataclysmic event. We have an instantaneous reaction that is often emotional and filled with fear. After a time we learn to deal with our new reality and if we are fortunate we learn truths about ourselves and the world around us. 

A conundrum of being human is that we want order and a sense of normality in our lives while also desiring surprise and excitement to spice things up. Of course there is good change and bad change and we never want the latter, but unexpected events come to every human as surely as days become colder and shorter as winter arrives. There are periods of darkness for every person. They are as much a part of the cycle of life as happiness and light. Sometimes we have to endure challenges to fully appreciate our blessings.

My father’s death when I was eight years old changed me. First it sucked the joy out of my heart and I became a frightened and sad little child. Then it prompted me to be more aware of the importance of my connections with people. I began to make choices based on how they would affect my relationships with family and friends rather than how they would enrich my bank account or endow me with honors or titles. I understood with every fiber of my being that there is nothing on this earth more important than the people that we encounter as we pass through this life. I found both purpose and joy in dedicating my talents to helping my fellow humans.

Wars, terrorist attacks, natural disasters destroy things and also sadly take lives. For most of us the loss of any person is a million times more horrific than losing possessions. We can rebuild the inanimate but we are never able to bring back the people who so suddenly left the world under horrific circumstances. When they are so quickly taken from us we long for just one more moment with them, one more opportunity to tell them how we actually feel about them, one more beautiful gift of embracing them. When we remember them it is always about the simplest of times, a smile, a laugh, a story, a shared experience. 

Autumn and winter are coming in a time of pandemic. The leaves will fall from the trees and days will grow short. Our most festive holidays will come and we will approach a new year, a new beginning but somehow no matter how hard we try we cannot make any of our traditions feel the same way they did before Covid-19 invaded our lives. It is like the dreary times after a loved one dies. That first Thanksgiving without them is punctuated by the empty chair where they should be sitting. The first Christmas feels like walking through a bad dream because no matter how hard we try to be merry, we know that there is a huge hole in our hearts. So too will it undoubtedly be during the coming months. 

The virus is still stalking us and we won’t be able to just wish it away but we can carry on in a different manner if we are willing to make some sacrifices. The number of cases of Covid-19 appear to be slowing. We have to be careful not to ascribe this good news to some idea that the virus has simply gone away when in fact our good fortune is more the result of the enforced precautions we have been recently taking. More people than ever are wearing masks in public. Distancing is being enforced at work, in schools, in churches, in stores and almost every aspect of our lives. We are avoiding crowds when possible and canceling events that might become super spreaders. Our actions have made it more and more difficult for the virus to find hosts, but it is still out there just waiting for us to become weary of the new routines and throw our caution to the wind. 

The count of deaths in our country and even the world are also decreasing, not because the virus is any less dangerous than it initially seemed to be but because the medical community has shared observations and best  practices from all over the world. Our scientists and doctors are learning more and more about Covid-19 and using that knowledge to save lives. They are like soldiers engaged in a military offense and we would do well to follow their advice and instructions. They are not traders in fear but rather dedicated individuals whose oaths insure that they do us no harm. We would do well to heed their cautions rather than placing our lives in the hands of politics. The medical community tell us to carry on with our masks and our distances and our hand washing. We would do well to listen because the virus is just waiting for our hubris to make us think that we are immune to its reach. 

Those of us who are older like myself have a certain obligation to curtail risky behaviors so that the adult workforce may carry on with the business of life and the children will be able to continue their schooling. The Bible tells us that there is a time and season for everything. Now is the time and season to do whatever possible to keep the virus at bay. It does not mean totally shutting down life as we know it but it does entail making changes and sacrifices in the way we do things. It is the story of living. Nothing ever stays the same and perhaps it is best that it does not. The only constant is our capacity to care and to love enough to protect one another.

As winter comes do not fear but take charge of life by continuing to be cautious. That is the way forward. That is the way to take control. Wear masks. Keep a safe distance. Stay away from crowds. Wash your hands. Stay warm and find happiness in the quiet moments of life. Do your part to help us all.

Most teachers have heard of the Pygmalion Effect. It is a psychological term that refers to the art of setting high expectations for individuals. It has been found that people will generally respond to positive thinking. If an environment seeks the best in all individuals and then nourishes those traits people and organizations tend to excel. On the other hand the Golem Effect is tied to negativity and self fulfilling prophecies. Assuming the worst in people is defeating and often leads to failure, mistrust, anger and possibly violence. It is an abusive tactic that tears people and organizations apart and should be avoided in all relationships. 

In my years in education most of my fellow teachers used the Pygmalion Effect to promote success for their students. Now and again someone would be guilty of either wittingly or unwittingly falling prey to the Golem Effect. I would hear such teachers exclaiming that all of the students in the school were lazy gang members and thugs or that an individual student would never amount to anything or even be capable of graduating from high school. Those who expressed such negative ideas tended to have management problems inside their classrooms. Their students were unmotivated and generally expended the lowest common denominator of effort. In other words they felt beaten down and defeated from the outset so they usually just gave up. 

On the other hand there were teachers who were inspiring the very same students to reach incredible levels of excellence simply by continually reinforcing the idea that they had everything they needed to succeed. With positive feedback the students enjoyed a feeling of accomplishment that drove them to work harder and harder. 

I have seen the Pygmalion Effect in all its glory over and over again but unfortunately the Golem Effect still reigns in many corners of education, business, family dynamics and politics. When we demean or demonize people or entire groups with broad generalizations the Golem Effect takes hold. This tendency leads to all manner of “isms” that unfairly categorize people. It creates misunderstandings, divisions, and injustice all derived from a kind of misguided self righteousness.

Those teachers who proclaimed the defects of students as though they were indicators of permanently flawed character may have believed that they were helping but in truth they were unfairly creating a kind of doomsday scenario for those who were victims of their words. Perhaps they believed that it was a waste of time to bother to even attempt to help people who appeared to be unsalvageable. In turn their students felt that they had already been why tossed on a trash heap of judgement that precluded any chance of redemption. They felt that any efforts to improve were fruitless and not worth the effort. The self fulfilling prophecy was an infinite loop that almost ensured that there would never be positive change. In fact it often lead to escalation of the very behaviors that were troublesome in the first place. 

We should all be wary of anyone who hurls generalized accusations or whose expectations for a particular person or group are all negative. When the President of the United States automatically assumes that using mass mail in ballots will lead to hundreds of thousands of fraudulent votes he is deftly using the Golem Effect. He is implying before the fact that if he loses the election it must have been because of voter fraud. On the other hand if he wins he will claim that it is because he was able to keep the voting criminals at bay. An entire swath of American voters who vote by mail is judged to be defective and they lose whether they are honest or not. 

The growing anger in our country today is the result of the Golem Effect silently eroding trust in our systems. If we hear that many of our Muslim immigrants are terrorists often enough we become fearful of all Muslims. If we are told that many of the Hispanics coming across our borders are gang members, rapists and criminals we become wary of all Hispanic immigrants. If we hear the BLM protests and demonstrations described as the domain of rioters and looters often enough we begin to fear and denounce even those that have been peaceful. If we only hear about the bad police officers who are rogues and racists we begin to fear all police officers. If we hear an individual being constantly denounced with innuendo and propaganda we may lose all trust in him/her. 

The Golem Effect breaks down trust and may even lead to dire consequences for all parties. Lenin and his allies slowly eroded the Russian peasants’ trust in the Czar that led to a dictatorial government. Hitler and his henchmen created a state of fear and envy in Germany that led to war and genocide. The Golem Effect is negative in all regards and is so abusive that it can tear down individuals, organizations and entire nations. It has the capacity to create so much desperation that people do unspeakable things that would not ordinarily occur to them. 

Golem was a fictional creature who had such a dire effect on the world that he had to be defeated. As humans we surely know that abusive behaviors never lead to positive outcomes. It should be apparent that we need to defend ourselves and our society from anyone who appears to be using the Golem Effect either purposely or unwittingly. It has always been an exceedingly unhealthy way of keeping order and it makes little sense to use it when we have seen over and over again how much better it is to bring out the best in people. 

Of course we sometimes have to punish evil deeds but in the process of doing so we must also be fair. We must take care to judge individuals on the merits of specific situations and when possible work to reshape bad behavior by encouraging the goodness that lies in most people’s souls. Unless there is some underlying defect most people will respond in positive ways to those who assume the best. Embracing high expectations and believing that they are possible should always be the foundation for solving problems.  

B.C. used to refer to the era Before Christ. Eventually historians changed that to B.C.E. to represent history Before the Common Era. I think that some of us might begin to see B.C. in a new light that stands for Before Covid. In many ways there has been an almost tectonic shift in the way everyone in the world is doing things at the same time that we are attempting to cling to our traditions. 

One of the boys little in our neighborhood was playing with a water table in his front yard while his mom watched him. I was returning from an errand so I was already wearing a mask. I decided to walk over to see how they were doing because I had not seen them much since Christmas when the family across the street had a big party. We spoke of ourselves and our families and discussed how everyone was fairing during the pandemic, noting that we had essentially been staying at home since about February. 

My neighbor mentioned that she had not been inside any building other than her own home in six months and I remarked that with the exception of walking through my daughter’s house to get to her backyard where we visited eight feet apart, I too had been mostly in my digs. She remarked that her sister-in-law had been wary of even venturing outside because of the virus. We both shook our heads in understanding because we agreed that if anything were to happen to any of our friends or family members because we became careless we might never forgive ourselves. Nonetheless we have both been gradually regaining more and more freedom. 

Our brief visit in the yard was a grand moment of triumph. It was nice to feel a bit normal even if it happened behind masks and from a distance. Human contact is so important and it is the very thing that Covid 19 has stolen away from everyone to some extent. Those of us who are older like me hope that one day in the near future we will once again feel free to hug and show our smiles, such little things that we mostly took for granted B.C.

I cut my husband’s hair today. It had begun to curl around his ears and on his neck. He invested in a set of hair clippers and had me watch an instruction video in how to trim a man’s locks. I suppose I did fairly well for a first timer. Admittedly he looks a bit like a character from Peaky Blinders but his hair is now still better than his old hippie look. I have some ideas for improving when I try again in a month. Who knows it might become a thing for me to cut his hair but he spent a great deal of time talking about the talent of his barber B.C.

My own locks have grown and grown. I needed a touch up on my highlights so I purchased a home kit from Amazon. I did something wrong because I ended up with two tone hair that was so brassy that I glowed like a lightbulb. I had to wait five weeks before I applied a solid color that was somewhat better. I could certainly use some styling but I won’t let anyone but a professional touch my hair. If the numbers of cases and deaths in the Houston area continue to stay down I’ll make an appointment with my stylist. She has a blank canvas with which to work. I think I want something quite different from the way my hair looked B.C. People appear to like me better without bangs and with a bit of length.

I haven’t been to the gym since February. I exercise daily but I need those weight lifting machines. My arms are flabby and I even have a semi-frozen shoulder. I’ve gained about five pounds and my mid section really needs some toning. I’d hate to think how bad I would be if I did not watch what I eat and walk every single day. It saddens me to think of how much ground I’ve lost from when I was really looking good B.C.

On the other hand it’s not all bad news. I’ve enjoyed the slower pace of my life. My calendar is rather empty save for the remote teaching sessions that I am doing. Helping my growing number of students has given me a sense of purpose and a feeling of doing something positive that has put a lilt in my step these days. I’ve become a small time essential worker and I’ve renewed that wonderful feeling that was so routine back when I was a full time educator. Retirement is nice but one can only do so much traveling and reading and gardening before wondering what’s next. I was beginning to feel a bit bored and useless B.C.

I have no idea how long all of this will last. I don’t think anyone really does. I do know that it has at times felt like a new era of history. I think of all of those lives that are so unexpectedly gone and I feel a great sadness, especially since we are all so eager to go back to the way things were B.C. I think that we would do well to use this moment to survey our individual lives and the trajectory of society and ask ourselves if it would not be better to make a few changes. I think that many of us have begun to rethink what is most important and we are reluctant to return to a duplication of life B.C. 

I came of age during the late sixties. It was a tumultuous time on multiple fronts. The Vietnam War was controversial, dividing the nation into those who believed that it was important to fight the spread of communism in Asia and those who saw the conflict as a waste of resources and American lives. While civil rights legislation had become law racism was still rampant as efforts to integrate neighborhoods and schools often led to anger and violence. A series of assassinations that included Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Bobby Kennedy had rocked our nation and made many of us wonder if our democracy was finally falling apart. The nightly news programs were filled with unspeakable horrors and there was a collective feeling that we were all clinging to the edge of a precipice with fingers that were broken.

I married my husband Mike in October of 1968. On that evening the priest who spoke the homily noted that it took a leap of faith and a dash of optimism to plan a future life in the midst of all the chaos of the moment. He offered hope but admitted that our journey would probably not be easy. He noted that love finds a way to overcome even the most horrific experiences and urged us to always embrace God and each other in the days to come. 

It has been almost fifty two years since that evening. Many personal and national trials lay ahead but somehow the priest was right that love gave us power over pain and sorrow and loss. Our family, our country and our world continued forward on a pathway that was sometimes glorious and sometimes bumpy and uncomfortable. I suppose that in those fifty two years nothing that we experienced was all that unusual in the grand scheme of things. We grew and changed and so too did the world around us. 

Life will be grand for a time and then we find ourselves facing uncomfortable challenges. Sickness, death, economic struggles, and world problems have invaded our solace time and again, but we always seem to find our way back to a sense of direction and peace. We never know what may come next but we have learned how to navigate with patience and grit. Some days we barely make progress and others we are able to run like the wind. It is all just part of the act of living. 

These days we hear so much hyperbole from the peddlers of fear. To hear them and fall for their rhetoric is to believe that our country and our world has finally been pushed from the precipice and is hurtling toward certain destruction. We are led to believe that our democracy is crumbling and that only one very flawed man is able and willing to save us. Meanwhile political power struggles are crushing the love between friends and family members that had been the glue holding things together. We have been manipulated and pushed to choose sides and adopt a zero sum attitude toward those who dare to disagree with us. We waste our precious time on this earth allowing ourselves to be tricked by incitements that have little to do with caring and everything to do with gaining power. Winning has become an obsessive pastime that destroys relationships and wastes the precious few moments that we have between birth and death.

I try to remember the wisdom of the priest who reminded us on my wedding day that the history of humankind has always flourished best when we love and work together. For that reason I am wary of anyone or any group that would attempt to pull us apart rather than to understand. Back in the late sixties we needed to hear and support those who bravely went to war in Vietnam as well as those who sincerely wanted to help by finding a route to peace. When the civil rights of a whole class of Americans were being denied we should have all come together in love to welcome them into our national family. Progress requires warmth and empathy and sacrifice in the bigger world just as it does in a family. 

In these days of Covid-19, isolation, and unrest I worry about our unwillingness to consider differing points of view. I try to understand how frighteningly difficult it must be to perform the duties of a police officer. I also put myself into the perspective of Black Americans and I hear the pain in their voices when they speak of injustices they continue to endure. I understand those who are horrified when they see a protest turning into destruction of property and livelihoods. What I do not understand is why we seem so incapable of bringing all of our divergent fears to a rational discussion in the spirit of finding real solutions to each concern. 

What is missing in our reactions is love. We cannot even express our true feelings without being personally browbeaten with arguments and judgements rather than efforts to understand. We ignore the complexities of situations and individuals and attempt to apply simplistic remedies rather than lasting and meaningful answers. The sound and the fury is so distracting that we are doing little more than shouting over one another.

In a loving family we do not simply berate a member who is acting out. We realize that this person needs our attention and we listen compassionately to their needs. We discuss how to work things out as a family, making uncomfortable changes or asking everyone to give a little. It’s what loving demands from us. It carries us through upheavals and helps our connections grow even stronger. So too might we approach the concerns of one another in our suffering nation. Flags and boats and parades and unending violence and destruction and snarky memes only pull us apart. There comes a moment even in a nation when we need someone with enough love to bring us all together again. That is what I learned from coming of age in the sixties. I hope that we will be able to find the will to just love.