We Need A Little Christmas Now

christmas-house-inside-decorations-e2-80-93-besthome_christmas-house-inside-decorations_home-decor_home-decorating-catalogs-theater-decor-shabby-chic-decorators-collection-coupon-diy-ideas-magazines-dI’m usually a stickler for tradition when it comes to October, November and December. I insist on proceeding through the holidays in an orderly fashion. Halloween must come first without even a hint of other celebrations to come. Next is my birthday which usually heralds sweater season and maybe even a few boot wearing days. After that is Thanksgiving and only the Friday after that feast should there be even the smallest sign of Christmas. This year I’m ready to throw up my tree, turn on some carols and enjoy a big mug of spiked eggnog and we haven’t even sat down for the annual turkey day dinner yet. Honestly I’m not sure what has gotten in to me but I don’t mind at all that some of my neighbors and friends have already decorated their trees and put lights on their houses. For whatever reason I just think we need a little Christmas and we need it now.

It’s been a tough year for anyone who has even remotely paid attention to politics. I had hoped that with the election all of the drama would be over and we would be able to just sit back and enjoy the holiday season. Unfortunately that little pipe dream is shattered. Instead I continue to hear barbs being traded between people who at one time were friends. Now we are all being cautioned not to even mention politics at the family gatherings that we will soon attend. I still harbor a fairly unrealistic hope that we will soon realize the folly of our ways and set aside the animosities that have built to a fever pitch.

It would be nice if we were to remember what the season is really all about. Thanksgiving should be a time of gratitude no matter how harsh the rest of the year has been. The fact that any of us are still standing and breathing should be enough for which to be thankful. We should not forget that we actually have a say in our government and the finalization of an election doesn’t change that. We have representatives with whom to communicate. We have the power of the pen. There are many many ways that we may live our freedoms. We sometimes forget that the pilgrims who are so much a part of the history of our annual celebration came to avoid persecution. They preferred risking their lives to submitting to the demands of a nation that outlawed their religious beliefs. Those who made it through the first year in a strange and dangerous land understood the import of their new found independence.

Christmas is all about the birth of a man who advocated a new and loving way of living. Whether we believe that He was the son of God or not, there is no denying that His words and teachings were revolutionary. His was a vision of peace, acceptance and unconditional love. We have commercialized Christmas to the point of burying His important message under a flood of consumerism instead of remembering the way that He taught us to live. Now more than ever we need His lessons to resonate with all people regardless of where they live, what they believe or how they look. Ultimately our hope lies in following the example of Jesus.

I have always loved this time of year because everyone seemed happy and ready to let bygones be bygones. It was a time for setting aside disagreements and beginning anew. The new year provided us with an opportunity to start over with a clean slate, a moment to try one more time to set things right. I find myself wondering and worrying that our natural tendencies to forgive and forget may not be as generous as in the past. There is a world of hurt out there and I don’t see it changing any time soon. Still I really hope that if we can just hurry Christmas along a bit we might find ourselves realizing that nothing is quite as important as our friendships and relations. Sure we might have that crazy uncle who has some strange ideas and there may be the long time friend who has gone a bit overboard with her newest cause but in the end we love them enough to overlook the irritating aspects of their personalities. We know in our hearts that none of us are perfect so we give the people about whom we care the benefit of the doubt as long as they seem to try.

Life is far shorter than we dare to admit. The nice thing about Christmas is that it gives us the perfect excuse to get together with family, friends and neighbors. We gather around the warmth of the tree and munch on cookies and worry about the diets next week. We feel the joy of lighting up someone’s eyes with a special gift. We finally take the time to pause from our labors long enough to laugh and relax and enjoy the company of people that we may not have seen for a long time. Somehow philosophies don’t seem to matter that much when we are exchanging hugs and remembering times spent together.

So I’m all for getting the Christmas show on the road as soon as possible. I may even put up my tree before Thanksgiving, something that has been akin to a mortal sin in the past. If hurrying Santa Claus elicits just one smile that might not otherwise have been there it will have been worth the effort. I want to go the the Nutcracker ballet and see the lights in the zoo. I plan to blast carols from my radio all day long for the next six weeks. I’m going to make cookies and fudge and have them ready to give to my neighbors. I can’t wait to hear the ringing bells of the Salvation Army and I plan to contribute to every red bucket that I see. I pledge to chase the Grinch and Scrooge out of town. It will be all Elf for me, sugary and sweet and happy as can be. “Away with predictions of doom and gloom,” I say. “We’ve got this!” I don’t intend to let anyone steal my joy. I’ll even don fur trimmed shorts if the weather stays warm.

It’s A Wonderful Life particularly speaks to me this year. We are all George. The world needs us. It is up to each one of us to be the change and the optimism that we wish to see. We can start by doing up Christmas in the very best way and then taking that spirit with us all throughout the new year. If there is anything that I have learned it is that we may get knocked down but there is always a way to get back up again. My challenge to everyone is to begin celebrating starting today. Do something that makes you or someone else feel good. Don’t limit yourself to twelve days or a month. Carry Christmas in your heart everyday.

The Rainbow Connection

400px-double-alaskan-rainbowIt’s my birthday today which is no doubt why I have been rather nostalgic this week. I’ve found my thoughts returning to my mother and father who taught me so many worthy lessons, sometimes just through their actions rather than their words. Truth be told I owe so much to them starting with my very existence. After all my story would never even have commenced were it not for their love and willingness to share it with one another and then with me and my brothers.

They were so very young when they decided to take on the world together. They were still kids who had only a vague idea of what they wanted their lives to be. When I was born couple of years after they married my mother was twenty two and my father twenty five. We lived in rented apartments while my father finished his education at Texas A&M. Both of them doted on me. I don’t exactly remember their attention but old black and white photographs confirm my belief that I was loved.

My mother kept track of my milestones in a baby book that bears her carefully crafted notations on my progress. She kept every card and photo from my early days in an album that I still have. I sense her joy on those pages and see that the love that surrounded me came not just from my parents but from a great big extended family and a host of friends. That love became the foundation on which my character was built brick by brick.

My father wasn’t around for very long. By the time I was eight years old he had died. I never forgot how much he enjoyed reading and those wonderful moments when he would sit on the couch sharing his favorite stories and poems with me while we snuggled. I suppose that my own love of books was born in those moments and it has been a way for me to keep his essence alive in my mind.

He was a man who did many things very well. He loved to fish like his mother and never came home from an expedition without a stringer full of catches that Mama would fry up for countless dinners. He was an artist with handwriting and printing that rivaled the monks of old who copied manuscripts. He built models of houses and buildings, miniature versions with tiny details. He was a student of history with a memory for facts and dates that was uncanny. He had many friends whom he entertained with an endless round of jokes. Most of all he loved his Texas Aggies with unquestioned loyalty. Weekends in the fall were devoted to following their football games on the radio with his best buddy, Lloyd.

He was a conscientious man who arose early each morning to go to work so that his family might enjoy a good life. In the evenings he loved to share stories while we ate. He was so in love with my mother and very proud of me and my brothers. Still he had a kind of adventurous itch that came from constantly moving when he was a boy as his father searched for construction work. Somehow he was never quite content with the idea of settling down. He always seemed to be dreaming of travel and the next move. I suppose that it was only fitting that he would be out and about on a summer evening driving aimlessly in his car when he went into a ditch and died instantly.

My mother had a childlike innocence about her. She was the youngest of eight children and had been adored by her entire family. She was a bit spoiled but in a good way. She was always self assured and certain of herself. She was a romantic who was madly in love with my father. She enjoyed her life as a homemaker and mother, never having any desire to venture from the home in search of work. She was fulfilled in the role that she had dreamed of living. She had already been an administrative assistant to a judge and a dean of engineering. She was proud of her work but did not need it to feel good about herself. She thought that she would always be a stay at home wife and mother and she did that job as well as she had done virtually everything that she had ever attempted. When my father died she was only thirty years old with three very young children. She was heartbroken in a way that would never completely heal. She dug deep inside her soul and found the strength that she needed to carry on. I know that from that point forward me and my brothers were the focus of her life. There was nothing else that mattered more to her.

She struggled financially and eventually realized that she would have to find a job. She earned a college degree and became a teacher all while somehow managing to run a household and insuring me and my brothers that we would still have a normal life. Her energy seemed boundless and her optimism was infectious. She was an angel in every possible way who was beloved by all who knew her. Our home was always brimming with friends and family who enjoyed her warmth and effervescence. Even though she worried incessantly about finances she never let on to us. She used to tell us that she had a money tree in the backyard and that Jesus loved widows and fatherless children so much that He would always make sure that we had what we needed.

Eventually the stress of being so many things to so many people caught up with her. She developed severe systems of mental illness and my role and hers switched places from time to time. I had to learn how to care for her whenever the depression and mania of that disease took hold. Somehow she never allowed her illness to change her always loving and hopeful spirit nor to steal her innocence. One of her favorite songs was Rainbow Connection from The Muppet Movie. Whenever she heard it tears would form in her eyes and she would smile. The song spoke to who she was as a person.

So as I celebrate on this anniversary of my entrance into this life I think of my parents and the gifts that they gave me that began the evolution of who I am as a person. I am a unique amalgam of each of them along with other traits that I picked up along the way. I am thankful that God chose those two people to create me. They both taught me how to love unconditionally, find strengths within and how to open my heart and my mind to the world. They gave me curiosity and optimism, joy and resilience. They showed me how to look forward and to trust in the goodness of the people who surround me. I’m so very glad that they gave me an opportunity to live and to celebrate the beauty of existence. They were lovers and dreamers who showed me how to find the rainbow connection.

The Front Porch

240cf7ec5246ce7b0d7688ceecbc3c92I recently drove past my grandparent’s home on Arlington Street in the Heights. My grandfather built the house and as far as I know it is the only stucco edifice in the area. Grandpa did all of the plastering himself. The feature that he most liked was a porch that ran all the way across the front. Back when he and my grandmother lived there it was screened in so that they might spend time relaxing and enjoying their neighbors. They had a glider the size of a couch out there and always kept a big box fan going, especially on hot summer days. Whenever we visited we were more than likely to be on that porch that was always much cooler than the inside because they had no air conditioning back then. 

My grandparents knew all of their neighbors. It wasn’t unusual at all for one or more of them to walk up to chat for a bit. It was great fun to watch the activity up and down the block. I especially enjoyed the smell of leaves burning in the ditches during the fall. Kids rode by on their bicycles and never failed to wave. Women walked with their babies in strollers and my grandparents would hop down the steps and across the yard to see how the little ones were doing. I felt as close to the people who lived there as I did to my friends on my own block. I suppose that I would never have met them had it not been for that front porch that Grandpa insisted on placing at the entrance to his home.

The screens that once kept insects from invading the sitting area are now gone. The porch still stands but I have never seen anyone out there. In fact the whole street is quiet and empty of human activity. The only signs of life come from the lights in the windows and the cars parked on the driveway. In the age of air conditioning it’s probably just too hot for people to sit outside visiting with their neighbors. It’s a lost art that I seldom see anymore.

Most of the older homes in Houston feature front porches. Sitting out front was at one time a way of life. Somewhere in time it became more popular to build patios out back to allow people more privacy. While I indeed enjoy my own little getaway in my backyard I have to admit to missing the joys of a big front porch. Once in a great while my neighbors will congregate on the sidewalk or in someone’s yard to exchange pleasantries but mostly the small town feel that was part of my grandparent’s world is gone. Most of the time I don’t even see children playing in their yards or riding their bicycles along the streets.

I suppose that we now operate from a certain level of fear. Parents worry that their children will be hurt or abducted if they are not safely protected. They prefer having the little ones inside or confined to the safety of the backyard with a fence to keep out trouble. My own house only has a small brick stoop not even large enough for a single chair. I might sit in my yard but I dare say that I would not see anybody for hours on end.

Back in my old neighborhood there were ladies who frequently congregated on lawn chairs in one of the front yards. I’d watch for them to get together and quickly grab my own seat so that I might join in with their daily block party. Our children frolicked within our sight as we shared news, recipes, and parenting tips. I so loved those times when I got to know the people who lived near me as well as if they were relatives. Over the years our acquaintance literally turned to love. As so often happens everything eventually changes and so did our lovely gatherings. People moved. The kids grew up. We met less and less. Eventually even I thought that it was time to leave for new pastures.

I sometimes believe that part of the divisiveness that we seem to be experiencing today comes from the isolation that so many of us feel in our air conditioned castles. Instead of friendly and inviting porches we seem to have built figurative moats designed to keep people at bay. I hear my neighbors talking and laughing in their backyards but I can’t see them. There is no way that I might walk over to ask them how they are doing because our fences block the view. I enjoy knowing that they are there and that they appear to be very nice people but I do miss the easy going feelings that were so much a part of the days of front porches.

There was an openness and innocence in the past that probably wouldn’t work anymore. As a child I slept with my bedroom windows wide open. Only the screens separated me from the outside. Our front door was rarely locked until night had fallen. We had little reason to believe that we were somehow unsafe. It was a different world and I suppose that today in our quest for security it is only natural that we hide behind walls and fences rather than being so open to the world. We put cameras at our front doors and peep through tiny holes when someone rings our doorbells. We worry and fret and close ourselves off.

I sometimes long for the days when we seemed to be a much friendlier society. We didn’t rush around so much and we entertained ourselves with conversations and games. We were trusting and open because there was little danger in being so. Experience has taught us to be wary and in the process we have lost the hometown spirit that once united us. I’m not sure that we will ever have that again but I think that having more front porches might be a step in the right direction, especially if we actually use them to get to know the people who live near us.

I have a nephew who moved his family to a neighborhood filled with young people who have taken the time to get to know each other. I love driving over to visit him because the whole place is literally bursting with activity just as all streets were back when I was a child. There are kids running up and down the sidewalks and adults sharing tools and helping one another with repairs and other tasks. It is like taking a step back in time to a world that hardly exists anymore. Each Christmas they light up entire blocks with arches that seem to shout a welcome to everyone. They take care of one another and celebrate together as though they are one great big happy family. That is how I think it should be all across the land. Perhaps we will learn how to be that way again if only we decide to try. It’s a nice possibility to imagine and something that I think many of us would truly enjoy.

A Very Thanksgiving Treat

elliott-pecansI always loved visiting my grandmother’s house in November. She was sure to have enamel bowls filled with tangerines and pecans. Usually it was just chilly enough to warrant using her ceramic gas heater to warm the living room. It always felt so cozy being there with my aunts and uncles and many cousins. I came to associate such things with the month of November. To this very day I have to have tangerines in my refrigerator and fresh pecans in my pantry when the eleventh month rolls around. It just doesn’t seem to feel right without them.

My Aunt Opal made pumpkin pie all year round but unless it was November we were never certain that she would have any available when we came to visit. Not so, in November. She never failed to have one ready for us whenever we chose to spend time with her then. Hers were absolutely the best that I have ever tasted. She didn’t even need a recipe to whip one up. The directions were all in her head. I used to love watching her roll out the pie dough and mix the ingredients for the filling. She always had some interesting story to tell us while her weathered hands did their work. I can still see her working the dough with her old rolling pin and stirring the creamy mixture that would gel into pure deliciousness. My mouth waters just thinking about it.

My mother liked to take the pecans that were so plentiful in November and bake them up into a pie. She transformed those nuts into a delectable southern delight. She was rather famous for her special recipe. I recall a time when she took one of her pies to a party and placed it next to a pecan pie that somebody else had prepared. When a friend of mine heard that one of Mama’s famous creations was there she rushed in to claim a piece before the dessert was gone. She took one bite and spit it back on the plate exclaiming, “This isn’t your mom’s pie! Where did this come from?” Luckily the baker of the less tasty treat wasn’t around to hear her insult but my mother had caught the gist of the conversation and quickly came to the rescue with a slice of her pie. From then on my friend always checked to be certain that she was getting nobody else’s pecan pie but Mama’s.

Yesterday after visiting with my in-laws my husband and I ventured over to the Airline farmer’s market. We were greeted by the sound of the nut cracking machine that was busy opening pounds and pounds of fresh pecans. It is a sound that I have heard each November for as long as I can remember. It tells me that my birthday is coming soon and that Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Its click clack is so comforting. It is much like hearing a train rumbling down the tracks in the dark of night. It is a link to some of the most wondrous times in my past.

While at the market I also saw a huge display of tangerines. I rushed over immediately to fill a bag. The aroma of citrus filled my senses and told me that I will be enjoying juicy fruit in the coming days. I feel content in knowing that I am able to find such delightful items so close to my home.

We really do live in a land of plenty. I had a friend who grew up in Germany at the same time that I was experiencing a childhood in the United States. He often spoke of playing in the rubble of his city of Bremen which had been bombed continuously during World War II. He developed scurvy because of the lack of vitamin C. For most of his lifetime fruits and vegetables were a luxury. He told of a time when an aunt had a single tomato to share with the family and how it was prized as a precious delicacy. Each person took a thin slice and ate it as though it was pure gold. When he eventually moved to the United States he was astounded by the abundance that we all enjoyed. He never lost his appreciation for our country and the wealth that it provided him.

My mother always told me that her parents saw themselves as being rich simply because they always had good food on the table. They turned their backyard into a garden and raised animals for milk and meat. Even during the Great Depression they always had good meals created by my grandmother. Nothing was ever wasted. Even bones and peelings were boiled for broth for soups and seasonings. When the family ate fish my grandmother would consume the head and give the more savory parts to her children.

We sometimes forget how precious food was for our ancestors and rarely think about people in other parts of the world who are starving even as we fill garbage trucks with mountains of food that might otherwise save a life. We take our food for granted and rarely realize our good fortune in having a lovely orange or a bowl of nuts. We don’t want to think about small children with bloated bellies who are wracked with pain because they do not have enough sustenance. Thanksgiving simply doesn’t have the same meaning when we have never known want as it might feel like to truly experience grinding hunger.

In November I am thankful that my mother like her mother always found a way to keep our stomachs full. Sometimes our dinner was little more than a bowl of pinto beans but there was something on our table to sustain us even when our cupboard seemed to be bare. I often took egg sandwiches to school for lunch. At the time it embarrassed me because there were often complaints about the smell. Sometimes I chose not to eat rather than reveal my strange repast. I now think of how silly I was, especially when I consider the millions of people who would have thought themselves most fortunate to have something so tasty and wholesome to eat. In so many ways I have been spoiled.

It is in the small things that we feel the most delight. For me the tangerines, pecans and pumpkins that were the treats of my childhood Novembers are still a special treasure. When I eat them they are more than just tasty. They are ways of tangibly remembering some of the most happy times of my childhood and the special people who made it so. I can see my grandmother’s smile as she watches me enjoy a tangerine with the juice running down my chin as I laugh with my cousins. I can hear my Aunt Opal telling us wondrous tales as she shoves a pumpkin pie into the oven. I recall my mother whispering her secret recipe for making the best pecan pies. The taste of the food on my tongue jogs my memory and releases happy feelings that tell me just how wonderful my life has always been. It really is a great time of year to be thankful as I remember and appreciate.

By the Light of the Moon

Belarus Supermoon Lunar EclipseI love gazing at the heavens. Unfortunately I live in the fourth largest city in the United States and the proliferation of lights has made it rather difficult to see the stars in the sky. Only the moon and a few very bright orbs are able to overcome the competition from manmade illumination. When I was a child ours was a small town by most standards, surrounded by a number of farming and ranching communities which have now become heavily inhabited suburbs. I now have to drive a rather long way to reach a place where the stars at night are actually big and bright. Luckily the moon somehow manages to maintain its dominance over the night even where I live. As long as the clouds do not shroud it I am able to watch its phases cycle through a routine that is as familiar to me as the passage of the sun. I have never grown weary of looking skyward to see how the man in the moon is doing.

On Sunday evening I stepped into my backyard to watch an event that has not occurred since January of 1948, the year in which I was born. There in the sky was a bright and brilliant super moon so called because it appears to be much larger than the average full moon. That is because on November 14, at 8:59 Eastern time the moon orbited closer to the earth than it has at any point in over six decades. At that precise moment it was also as full as it ever gets.

My time zone prevented me from seeing the full effect of the super moon but I certainly got the idea. I found myself wondering if my mother or father had watched the super moon of 1948. They would not yet have known on that January evening that I would become part of their lives eleven months later. The seed that made me had not yet been planted but perhaps the idea of having a child may have crossed their minds. My mother often spoke of her natural inclination to have as many children as possible. She was in love with the idea of taking care of babies. She was only twenty one years old then and had a lifetime ahead of her. She would not have realized how difficult her journey would eventually become. She would have been filled with optimism, promise and perhaps a bit of romance. The world had ended a war not long before. She and my father were building a future that must have seemed as bright as that moon. I’d like to believe that they stood together holding hands, gazing at the night sky with great hope.

Who knew sixty eight years ago that we humans would one day walk on that very moon? How might anyone have imagined the changes and the progress that we have wrought? The era of television was not yet upon us. The idea of computers was still the domain of scientists and engineers. Telephones were tethered to outlets on the wall. Cars were devoid of seat belts and air bags. College degrees were the exception rather than the rule. Women still mostly stayed at home tending the children and the house. On warm summer days homes were cooled by fans that stirred breezes from open windows.

I would experience the sixty eight years of rapid change. I knew about the before 1948 only from books. I lived all of the time after from day to day as I grew from an infant to a teenager to a young adult to my middle ages to a senior. The progression has not always been smooth. There were times when the world appeared to be on the verge of a seismic shift, particularly when I was in my high school and college years. Most of my childhood was spent in a Cold War with the Soviet Union. I observed my elders worrying that there might one day be a nuclear holocaust. I watched the end of segregation unfold and spied on heated conversations between the adults who were part of my life. I boldly formed my own opinions and almost dared anyone to contradict my beliefs. I became my own person just as children have been doing since the beginning of time and will continue to do long after I am gone.

The day came when I was a young twenty one year old holding the hand of the man that I loved. I have been more fortunate than my mother. I have had the joy of growing old with him. He has been by my side through every phase of my adult life. We have shared the joys and the disappointments of living. We raised our children and eventually greeted our grandchildren. We have said goodbye to family members and friends who have died. We have grown in wisdom and understand the importance of counting our blessings and cherishing the moments that we have because we know that life is uncertain. The moon will circle our globe and we will move around the sun with regularity but all else might change in the blink of an eye. There is no time for taking our joys for granted.

The moon is beautiful whether it is the smallest of crescents or full. We associate it with humankind’s emotions. It is the stuff of legends and lore. It may engender romance or lunacy. On nights when it is at its peak it signals time for tiny creatures to engage in rituals tied to survival. Some believe that more babies are born during the full moon. Others insist that crimes and wars are more likely to occur on moonlit nights. Complaints of insomnia seem to increase when the moon is full. There are beliefs that more natural disasters occur under a full moon. Stories of old tell us of people who walked the night as werewolves or vampires. We somehow have a sense that the moon affects people much as it does the ocean tides.

It will be 2034 when the next super moon makes an appearance. By that time I will be eighty six years old if I manage to make it that far. I will know how things turned out with President Trump. I will have enjoyed watching my grandchildren enter their adult years and may have a great grandchild or two. Undoubtedly the world will have changed even more. The young men and women of the millennial generation will be running things. There will be new wonders invented that I have not yet imagined. Perhaps we will have found ways to keep our planet healthy. Hopefully I will not have to recall horrors or wars that have rocked our sensibilities but history cautions me to be ready for the unthinkable. Just as with the sun and the moon I will join my fellow travelers in the daily routines and rituals that move us slowly but surely into the future. I have enough faith in all of us that I truly believe that things will ultimately be just fine. It will be fun to watch history unfold even as I live it under the light of the moon.