All It Takes Is A Little Love

Everyone likes the idea of being free to be themselves. Sometimes we balk at laws and rules that seem to impinge on our ability to express ourselves. Teens in particular are notorious for questioning the purpose and legitimacy of rules. So it has been throughout our human history that individuals and groups push back whenever they believe that their rights are being curtailed. 

As a mother and teacher I often encountered situations in which the youngsters in my care pushed the envelope to determine just how far I would allow them to challenge the standards that I had set in place for my family and my classroom. I learned the importance of allowing them to ask questions and I was always willing to explain why I had certain guardrails in place. 

I often joked that if nobody ever did anything bad or disruptive we would not need the guidance of commandments or laws or classroom rules. I explained that they would do well to ask what might have led people to outline behavioral directives in the first place. I gave them examples and let them delineate the reasons why we specify which behaviors are unacceptable in certain situations. In particular through the discussions they began to realize that history and experience show us that people all too often take advantage of situations that seem to be free for alls.

I have been watching our president tossing aside watchdogs, agencies and rules that were designed to insure fairness in our society. He and many of those who support him seem to believe that many of the guardrails enshrined in our Constitution and in our laws are no longer needed to protect the people for whom they were originally designed. There may be some merit to the idea that certain laws outgrow their usefulness in some situations. We would do well to inspect and adjust the ways that we do things now again as needed, but I question the wholesale destruction of protections for people who are still all too often easily abused when there are no consequences. 

The first time I interviewed for a teaching position occurred in a time when there were few specific rules for protecting individuals from offensive and prejudicial assessments of their worth in the workplace. When I describe my unbelievable interview to people today they are appalled by my story and even wonder if it was just an horrific exception. Sadly if I had complained nobody at the time would have thought that I had been subjected to unfairness. Even I went along with the intrusive and insulting questions because that’s just the way things were and I wanted a job. 

I remember walking nervously into the office of the head of hiring for the school district. I was nervous just as most people are in such situations. I smiled meekly as I took a seat across from the man who would determine my fate and hoped that I would impress him with my answers to his interrogation. 

He began by noting that he liked the scent of my perfume and the way I had done my makeup and hair. He complimented me on my choice of clothing and expounded a bit on how appearance was of utmost importance to him. I mentally squirmed a bit when he told me that he had chosen to interview me based on the photo that I was required to include with my application. He said nothing about my academic success or the key points of my resume. Everything centered on the fact that he thought that I was attractive enough to  meet his standards.

The next subject of his assessment of me revolved around the fact that I was a Catholic. Amazingly in that time one of the questions on the applications asked about my religious beliefs. As he babbled on he admitted that there had been a time when the school district would not hire Catholics because most of the families living in that area were Christians. I hoped that he did not notice my inner eye roll as I realized that he did seem to believe that Catholics are indeed Christians. 

He went on the explain that one school year there was an extreme shortage of teachers and he had been forced to hire a former nun with many years of experience teaching in a Catholic school. When she proved to be one of the best educators he had ever sent approved for hire he decided that maybe it was time to set aside his concerns about Catholic teachers. Then he let me in on a bit of history by talking about a nearby Catholic church that had been burned down several times by citizens who did not want that influence in their neighborhood. 

Eventually he got down to the nitty gritty of determining my worth with a couple of easy questions about teaching that I fielded with no difficulty. Surprisingly he ended the interview by exclaiming that he knew the minute that I had walked into his office that I was a winner and that he would proudly send my resume around to the principals in his district. 

I indeed got a job with a fabulous female principal who seemed much more attuned to my educational and job oriented chops. I enjoyed a wonderful time working under her guidance but I would always look back on that incredibly discomfiting interview with the head of human resources. When I later took a labor law class while earning my Master’s degree. I fully understood why Congress had passed so many laws designed to protect workers. Those pertaining to prejudices felt particularly important to me. I related my story to the professor and my classmates all of whom were astounded that such practices had actually existed. 

We should all be alarmed when any of our laws are tossed aside without much thought. Ours should be a detailed process of determining why the law was created in the first place and whether or not the reasons for doing so have changed enough to insure that nobody would dare to creep back into a modus operandi that would impinge on the rights and safety of any person or group. 

Right now so much work designed for very real reasons is being tossed aside under the assumption that it was simply a “woke”attempt to give minorities a bigger advantage than they either deserved or needed. I worry that we are undoing so many programs that have kept the workplace and our society in general from falling back into atrocious habits. 

I was lucky enough to maintain my composure in that long ago interview even as I felt humiliated and unseen for who I was. The stereotyping of my worth based on appearances and my religion passed muster for me but I have always wondered what happened to the women whose choice of clothing and perfume did not meet the interviewer’s standards. I was happy that our nation actively served as a guardian. Now we seem to have let the dogs out leaving so many unprotected from prejudices. I suspect that unless we halt the wholesale destruction of rules we will eventually rue the day that we quietly allowed this to happen. 

We carry within us the wonders we seek around us. —-Sir Thomas Browne

I suppose that I developed my sense of wonder from my parents and my grandmother Minnie Belle. My father seemed to make a habit of learning something new each day. He pored over the books that brought him so much joy while listening to recordings of the classical music that he so loved. He had so many interests that it would be difficult to name what fascinated him the most. I suppose one might say that he was curious about all aspects of the world around him. He transferred his excitement to me and to my middle brother. Sadly the younger of our family was too young to really remember him after he died so young. The wonder of it, is that my younger brother is the reincarnation of our father.

I find myself thinking of my father each time I collect yet another book. From time to time I run out of room for storing all of my treasures and cull the ones that have impressed me less than the others. I suppose that I might do better just putting them on my Kindle but I enjoy the feel of the paper, the illustrations on the cover and the smell of the ink almost as much as the content presented in the words. Reading is a tactile process for me just as it was for my father. Like him I am willing to try both fiction and nonfiction, poetry and prose. I tend to be happiest when I am browsing the aisles in a bookstore. Somehow I always find something that intrigues me and I can’t leave without bringing it home. I often read multiple volumes at once much like studying different subjects in school. The written word when well crafted is beautiful and I glory in discovering the best of it. 

My mother found wonder in the most ordinary places and moments. I suppose it was because she was a joyful person unless she was sick. We always knew when her bipolar disorder was interrupting her happiness because she was suddenly so sad and dissatisfied with everything. Most of the time thankfully she offered cheerfulness wherever she went. It took so little to bring a smile to her face. A really good cup of coffee with a bit of cake was a special treat. Sitting on the Galveston seawall watching the ocean tides gave her a thrill. She never had to spend money or travel to faraway places to see the glory in the world around her and I miss her gentle optimism to this very day. I have known no other person who was as content with so little. She felt blessed if she simply had just enough to have a roof over her head, pay her bills and feed her hunger. Anything beyond that was gravy in her mind and tiny luxuries made her laugh with unmitigated joy. 

I have told countless stories of my grandmother Minnie Bell. Oh, how I loved her and so it seems did everyone. She was like the pioneer women that I read about in my favorite childhood books. She communicated with the birds with calls that sounded authentic. She hunted and fished and made clothing and quilts out of fabric from the bags of flour that she purchased to make biscuits, bread, pies and cakes with recipes that she filed in her head. She told me about the “old days” when she washed clothes in a river and beat out the dirt on rocks. She described how people used corncobs to clean themselves in the outhouses. She showed me how to crochet and embroider and sew. To this day I think that if everything broke down in an apocalypse I would want to have Grandma Minnie by my side. She would be able to survive in any situation. 

Because of these remarkable people there has never been a time when I did not see and hear and feel the wonder around me. Even as I know that there are serious troubles in the world I notice the love and compassion and ingenuity of humans striving to set things right. Sometimes music is so glorious that it brings tears to my eyes. A beautiful line of perfectly selected words makes me breathless with awe. I see workers preparing roads in one hundred degree weather and I want to roll down the window of my car and shout thanks to them for doing a job that most of us would never want to try. I see beautiful babies with their loving families and I feel certain that we are going to be okay. I stare out my windows at the mischievous squirrel trying to steal the food that I have left for the birds and I chuckle with delight. I wave at my neighbors and feel such gratitude for being around really nice people. I work my puzzles and enjoy finding words that express my feelings almost magically. 

I carry many wonders inside my soul. They come from many people, many places, many experiences. They are representations of who I have become. it has been my good fortune to see the wonder that is ordinary and yet so extraordinarily magnificent. Stop and look around and you surely will see it too. 

Life is a funny thing. We are as innocent as can be when we are born. We are curious and willing to explore. We see no difference between ourselves and others. We simply enjoy each day just as it comes. Sadly the world too often teaches us that there are winners and losers and that nothing is worse than being a loser. Instead of just enjoying the play of a game, we begin to strive to be champions. When we are successful we feel the joy of adulation. When we fail we sense the disappointment of the people around us. We begin to compete and compare ourselves, sometimes winning, sometimes losing and almost always wondering if we are good enough. We are somehow taught to believe that we are unworthy in one way or another. 

We may begin to look in the mirror and focus more on what seem to be flaws in our appearance. Perhaps our hair is too thin or too curly. Maybe our eyes don’t look quite right. We do our best to be presentable but watch someone born with beautiful features being touted for good looks. 

We may be quite good at quickly learning but awkward on a field of sports or maybe it is the reverse. We feel ourselves being studied and measured by people who don’t know us at all and we feel discomfort. Maybe we are the ones who are judging others with superficial eyes. We begin to be our own worst critics wondering why our hard work doses not provide us with a bigger home, a nicer car, more money in the bank. We see the world through the eyes of competition and rank people and things based on some invented criteria. We are never quite satisfied. Enough is never enough. 

Such has been the struggle for humans for centuries. There always seem to be the haves and the have nots. Life can seem unfair unless we stop the cycles of pitting ourselves against each other rather than simply enjoying the persons that we are just as we are. The key to a good life lies in loving ourselves, not in a narcissistic way, but in appreciating the unique features and talents that we each have. 

My guess is that everyone has known a beautiful person who was miserable and a homely one who has found the keys to happiness. We’ve seen wealthy and powerful people who never seemed able to get enough and people with low incomes who generously share what little they have. Those who are self assured no longer worry about appearances or titles. They possess the inner power of finding joy in simplicity. They do not view other people as competitors, but as partners in a journey that will have a lifetime of ups and downs, wins and losses. They manage to keep going because they have found the secrets of the silver lining playbook. They look past the artificial and see the beauty in the ordinary. 

We would all do well to consider the role of perspective in our lives. The job that we have may be a bit dreary at times and we may even feel underpaid. To the individual who is desperately seeking work and a paycheck our employment may seem to be a source of great happiness. Our home may feel small and cramped but someone whose house has been ravaged by the floods of a hurricane might be quite content with a solid roof and a warm refuge no matter how tiny it may be. 

We complain about our nation and our politics but we have the strongest economy in the world. So far at least, we are not engaged in war but we run the risk of getting there if we become so disgruntled that we insist on demanding everyone to think alike. We become judge and jury of people’s thoughts and blithely toss away old friendships in a silly belief that there is only one way of doing things and those who resist must be punished. We choose sides, teams, tribes, races and harshly compare all to satisfy our lust for power and wealth. 

I often quote my mother because she was indeed a very wise woman. She had her moments of mental illness when her mind was not working at its best but in between was a person who had most brilliantly learned how to live life well. The key to the joy that she both felt and gave away was in loving herself and then spreading that love to others regardless of who they were, how they looked, what status or rank they had in life. She was able to marvel at the tallest tree or the tiniest flower. 

Life is much shorter than it may seem when we are busy living it. There is nothing wrong with striving to be our best at anything as long as we remember that when we make it a comparative struggle we steal away our own joy and that of the people around us. Life is so much better when we enjoy our victories and learn from our failures but don’t measure worth like a competitive sport. We can make our lives full and meaningful wherever we are as long as we see the beauty all around us and share whatever bounty comes our way. If we learn to do that we will smile when the end comes, confident that we made a mark on the world however small simply because we were kind and we loved. 

When people’s homes were flooded during hurricane Harvey back in 2017 many had to tear out sheetrock and get down to the studs in their homes. They removed carpet, wood flooring, appliances and furniture that were no longer safe to use. Still, not everything had to go. It was possible to renew dishes, cooking utensils and even most clothing simply by washing the water soaked items. It took a great deal of work to remove what was not salvageable but in the vast majority of cases there was no need to tear the whole house down and rebuild from the ground up. 

What happened in the aftermath of hurricane Harvey is a lesson for all situations and organizations. We realized that many of the drainage systems in the Houston area were inadequate and in need of updates. We took a hard look at the role of climate change in creating stronger and more destructive storms. We know that there is much that we need to do to make living in Houston sustainable for the future and efforts continue to be made. It takes time and study to be certain that we are doing the right things to improve the odds that our city will be safer in the future.

Some positive changes have already begun but others have been put on the back burner. We may even need to buy back certain neighborhoods that flood again and again even with relatively minor rain incidents. We know that there is still much to do but financing and having the will to be proactive still stall many efforts. Nonetheless we know that our investments in change must be purposeful.

This brings us to questions about the effectiveness of the many agencies of our federal government. Few of us would argue that there are countless problems that all too often never get addressed. There is nothing wrong with attempting to make our systems more efficient, but the process should be methodical and only considered after studying all aspects to determine both what is not working well and what is. It’s also important to determine which employees are critical for smooth transitioning once the adjustments are undertaken. 

So what is wrong with the DOGE efforts to modernize and streamline federal agencies? I will use the hack job being done to USAID as a cautionary example:

First, employees at USAID and other governmental agencies received emails encouraging them to voluntarily resign. Those who take the offer are supposedly eligible for eight months of salary and benefits. What is not said is that there is any kind of contract or guarantee that they will actually receive the payments as promised. Even worse is the fact that there is no attempt to determine which individuals are the best most knowledgeable employees. How efficient is it to end up with only those who choose to stay rather than encouraging the best and brightest employees to stay?

The amount of knowledge that will be lost in such a scheme is mind boggling. It would be akin to randomly losing teachers in a high school and ending up without anyone certified to teach Calculus or Chemistry. Everyone knows that any organization has key people who should be rewarded not encouraged to leave. Furthermore it is a well documented fact of organizations that a lack of differing opinions spells doom. There always need to be voices willing to speak up when disastrous decisions are about to be made. 

What has actually happened to USAID is that it has for all intents and purposes been shut down without much forethought of potential unintended consequences. Americans working in foreign countries are being told to leave their posts and come home immediately. Chaos and confusion are ruling the day without consideration of what each person in each place is actually doing to benefit the United States. A blanket indictment insinuates that USAID is not just worthless but possibly criminal. Those who have dedicated years of service to humanitarian efforts have no idea what their futures will be.  

So when did USAID begin and what is it’s purpose? 

In 1961, there was tension all over the world. Congress realized that some of the problem areas might respond more to humanitarian efforts than military might. USAID is an acronym for United States Agency for International Development. The main goal was to improve health and decrease poverty and hunger in places across the globe. This agency responds to famines, the residual effects of wars, outbreaks of disease. It also serves as a diplomatic tool and a way of defending freedoms. It feeds more people across the globe than any other agency in the world. It produces goodwill far beyond its cost which represents only one percent of the total budget of the United States. There are Americans living and working and offering hope in places where drought and diseases have brought suffering to the populations. USAID brings hope where there might otherwise be none. Additionally American farmers enjoy an economic boost by providing the grain, beans and vegetables needed to feed the hungry. 

Ronald Reagan was such a proponent of USAID and the work it does that their offices are located in the Ronald Reagan building to honor him. President Reagan fully understood the importance of humanitarian efforts in producing goodwill. He believed that such diplomacy was far better than war, aggression, or military might in shaping a more peaceful world. 

The tragedy of USAID is an example of what we may expect from DOGE attempts to improve the delivery of services from the various agencies. I am incredibly concerned about the future chaos that will ultimately affect us all, not just federal workers and struggling countries. As Americans with a voice we should be demanding a stop to this questionable and possibly illegal behavior before our entire system descends into chaos. It may be okay to ruin a social media site overnight but doing the same to the functioning of important agencies in our nation will have dire consequences for us all. It needs to stop now!

Contact you representatives, contact the White House, let your voices be heard while democracy is still ours. Don’t just sit back and allow unelected individuals to tear it all down!

“I will not give in to the lies. I will not give in to the fear” —-Jim Acosta

Last week Jim Acosta resigned from CNN. He did so after he was demoted to the midnight hour of programing because of his insistence on telling what he believed to be the truth about Donald Trump. He is but one of many journalists who have left publications and broadcasting in protest over attempts to muzzle their honest assessments of what is presently happening in the United States. Rather than being silenced they have chosen to publicly protest. 

It is always difficult to speak up when everyone else seems to be bowing to pressure. There is a video circulating on social media that shows a professor asking a student to leave his class for no apparent reason. As the stunned individual walks out the expressions on the faces of her classmates indicate shock and yet none of them find the courage to defend her. Once she is gone the professor admits that what he had done was unjust. He wonders why nobody spoke up in protest. He then explains that this is how freedoms die. 

I have always wondered why the German people did not mount a nationwide protest when it became apparent that Hitler was chipping away at their democracy. With little or no resistance at he managed to be a bonafide dictator of the nation in only fifty three days. I think of how different history might have been if enough citizens had joined in a united effort to unseat him before his power over them was ironclad. 

I suspect that most people don’t know how to react in such situations. Their instinct is to preserve themselves so that they will not become victims. They go silent, keeping their personal beliefs inside. They want to keep their jobs, insure that their children are safe, just go along no matter how difficult life becomes. 

Of course there will always be those who buy into the injustice. They rationalize reasons why some people deserve to be ousted from their midst. They see wholesale punishments of certain groups of people as a kind of necessary fairness. They agree with the demonization of people who are unlike they are. They make excuses for hate.

I have always wanted to believe that when faced with injustice I would take action rather than simply looking the other way. I worried that my personality might fail me in such circumstances because I am by nature a quiet and unassuming person. I have never felt comfortable raising my hand in classrooms. The tenor of my voice is soft and easy to ignore. There have been instances when I have melted so well into a crowd that I felt invisible and I liked being that way. 

I reached a watershed moment long ago in a college Spanish class. I was in my second year and the professor had awarded me with a prize for my fluency when I was his student in the first year classes. I looked forward to an enjoyable year of completing the language requirements of my chosen major. I assumed that my opinion of the professor and his of me would be congenial but then something happened that changed all of that. 

The professor was calling on students to answer questions in Spanish. It was an exercise that forced us to use the language conversationally. When it was my turn he smiled at my fluency and then turned to the young man sitting next to me. I had earlier overheard the my fellow student talking with his friend in Spanish so I assumed that he too would receive a smile of encouragement. Sadly that is not what happened, 

The professor chided the student for incorrect pronunciation and for use of words that sounded crude and uneducated. The young man sat stony faced as his friend taking in the painful harangue. His friend then became the next victim. After the student nervously responded to the question the professor furiously announced to all of us that he had no idea what language the two young men were speaking but that is certainly was not Spanish. When one of his victims finally had the temerity to insist that he had spoken Spanish with his parents for his entire life the professor snarled that it was high time for him and his friend to grow up and learn how to speak properly. 

The embarrassing moment ended with the two students hurriedly gathering their belongings and rushing out of the classroom with a pledge to drop the class rather than to accept being insulted. From somewhere deep inside of me a little voice told me that I also needed to protest. I too gathered my things and walked out to the stunned surprise of the professor. I immediately dropped the class even though I would not be eligible for a reimbursement of my tuition. Then I sent a letter to the professor outlining my concerns about how he had treated the two students. 

I have no idea whether or not my protest made any difference at all, but it told me that I did have the courage to stand up for what I believed to be right. I have boldly step up to protect those being unfairly persecuted ever since. Being a voice for those unable to defend themselves was at the heart of my career as a teacher and Dean of Faculty. I was never again afraid. 

Now I know that I have to join with courageous individuals like General Mark Milley, John McCain, Liz Cheney, Adam Kinzinger, Jennifer Rubin, Steve Schmidt, and Jim Acosta in standing up for truth even if it alters our lives. It is clear to me that Donald Trump is seeking vengeance on innocent people and doing his best to change our democracy forever with or without the Constitution. Being silent now would be dangerous for everyone so I will call things out as I witness them. I have little to lose as I do my best to be a person of honor.