It always amazed me that my mother was as optimistic as she was. She had every right to be dreary and anxious but that only happened when she avoided the medications for her bipolar disorder. Most of the time she was the sunshine even on a cloudy day. She often ended each day when my brothers and I were still children by tucking us into our beds and reminding us how fortunate we were. She was one of those people operating on a low income who gave an amazing percent of her funds to those who were less fortunate. Her smile was worth a million dollars and she flashed it wherever she went. People who took the time to know her loved her, even clerks in stores. I never completely understood how she managed to find the good in every situation or how she found such joy in simple things like stopping for a scoop of ice cream. 

When Kermit the Frog from Sesame Street first sang his classic “Rainbow Connection” my mother fell in love with the tune. It represented her outlook on life which included dealing with dark and difficult times always followed by incredible hope and gratitude for however much good fortune came her way. She would tear up and smile like an innocent child whenever she heard the strains of that tune. Those were happy tears in which she emotionally celebrated all of the goodness that she saw in the world. 

Through my mother I have become attached to “Rainbow Connection.” I purchased a Hallmark Christmas ornament that features Kermit singing his now famous song. Each year when I hang it on my tree. I think of my mother and smile with some happy tears welling in my eyes. Somehow her allegiance to finding the best in even the worst situations reminds me to push my own tendencies toward pessimism away. She showed me how to deal with my problems by finding the wonder in the most ordinary moments. Now whenever I see a rainbow I find myself thinking that it is my mother’s way of reminding me not to dwell too long on the difficulties that I may be facing. 

This is admittedly a  very difficult moment in time for me. I worry constantly about the health of my beloved country, the United States of America. On some days I become so engrossed on the negativity of our president that I forget to take my mother’s lead and look for the progress that is slowly moving to set things right. Then I see a photo from my son-in-law of  a brilliant rainbow stretching across the sky on a rainy day and I feel as though it is the voice of my mother assuring me that this too will pass. I see her sweet smile and I hear her reminding me to look for the good for it will surely outdo the bad. 

I think of how much easier my life has been than my mother’s simply because she sacrificed so much for me and my brothers. I realize what I learned from her including becoming the soup and bean queen in my extended family. She taught me how to stretch a dime by making the most of every drop of food that I bring into my home. She showed me that it is possible to endure even the most unbelievable tragedies with dogged determination and always unrelenting appreciation for whatever I have.

There is great irony in the story of my mother’s life. By many measures hers would have been a dreary tale. She was the youngest of eight children who wore hand me down clothing and shoes. She endured the taunts of other children for being from an immigrant family but she nonetheless soared in school where her teachers noted her many abilities. She learned how to sew her own clothing so that she was always stylish. She watched musical movies and learned how to dance without formal lessons. She worked to pay for classes that gave her secretarial skills that afforded better jobs than she might otherwise have had. She married young and ended up in the middle class with her engineer husband and three children only lose that status when he died when she was only thirty. She would struggle financially for the rest of her life but somehow managed to buy and pay for homes twice and to ultimately earn a college degree. 

Just when my mother seemed to be on the brink of an easier time of life she was ravaged by a mental illness that stalked her for the remainder of her life. She had periods of health and periods of extreme illness but kept her job at the University of Texas Health Science Center until she retired. She was so loved by her co-workers that they gave her a rousing send off unlike anything I have ever before or since witnessed. When she died of lung cancer in her early eighties the church was filled with family and friends who spoke of the many times that she brought joy to them when they were feeling down. She was indeed the rainbow connection for many souls whose lives she had made brighter and happier. 

I look for the rainbows in life now because they remind me of to look for the joy even in the darkest of time. My mother knew so well how to do that and I suspect that she would want me to be a lover and dreamer just as she was.