Month: August 2026

I am a lifetime supporter of women’s rights. I watched my mother take over the duties of a family during a time when women were struggling to have an even playing field with men. I sometimes wonder how she even managed to do all of the many jobs that were required of her as a single parent. Somehow she worked, ran our household, and earned a college degree all on her own. She kept our home tidy, our bellies filled and our determination to earn our own degrees rolling along while she did every single job related to parenting all by herself. 

I was fortunate to be part of a team when I launched my own career in education. My husband handled half of the tasks related to our home life and I completed the rest. My days were long and as I look back on them I am astonished that I was able to do as much as I did. I had to rise from my slumbers before the sun came over the horizon and make sure that everything my two daughters would need for the day was all set in place before even thinking of leaving home. I was usually at work by seven in the morning which sometimes required a drive of up to an hour just to get there. I was mostly on my feet for eight hours making sure that my students had learned the concepts that I was teaching them. On some days I had afternoon duties or meetings to attend that kept me at the school until five in the evening when I would repeat my one hour drive home. Once there I prepared dinner, helped my girls with their homework, and tidied up the house or did a load of laundry. 

I was fortunate to have a sweet mother-in-law who came to sit with my children until they were old enough to officially become latchkey kids. When they were sick my mother-in-law came to sit with them. I understood my good fortune in having her so that I did not have use my sick leave every time one of them had a fever or upset stomach. Once they were older and reliable enough to be alone I felt that I had won a valuable prize. 

After my daughters left home to attend college I enrolled in an advanced degree program and took advantage of every workshop offered by whatever school district had hired me. The additional education allowed me to advance my career and become a school administrator. I was balancing so many balls in the air that I might have been a circus performer. I was tired all the time but pushed through the whole experience. I never regretted all of the hard work or the balancing act that became my daily routine for decades. 

I knew that I was not alone. There were men and women everywhere working together to raise families and still be successful in their jobs. I understood how difficult it was to be my best in the many roles that I had to perform and knew that others were living parallel lives to mine. The daily grind of most Americans is duplicated around the world but in some places the governments have created programs designed to help. In the United States working people are mostly on their own. The situation can be particularly brutal for single parents who must carry every single duty on their backs. 

We now live in a very lopsided society in which the wealthiest among us are able to hire a fleet of people do do the everyday work in their multiple homes while the lowest paid often work more than one job just to stay afloat. Many children become caretakers for their siblings while they are still quite young. Families often overlook the symptoms of illnesses because the cost of medical care even with insurance is beyond the parameters of their budgets. Sadly, those symptoms may accelerate until individuals are mortally ill. There are people all around us who are working harder than ever but barely hanging on.

I recently read a post from one of my students who created a floral business that was flourishing until the cost of flowers and gasoline increased to record levels. She frantically posted one day that she had to have a large vehicle to deliver her creations but she was burning gasoline at a rate that forced her to stop at a service station every other day. She needs her truck to keep her business thriving but has to increase the prices just to stay even. She is exhausted and frustrated just as many Americans who own small businesses are. 

While the vast majority of Americans are working unspeakable numbers of hours only to fall further into debt with the rising costs of everything our president and his family members are doubling and even tripling their wealth. We read about their energy and ingenuity while understanding that they have dozens of individuals who do the work that the rest of us must do after laboring at jobs all day. They are not affected at all by the higher cost of everything that they want. They fly around the world with billionaires wearing five thousand dollar outfits and then they wonder why so any Americans are angry every time they go to a grocery store or stay up until midnight paying bills and doing chores. 

Our present society is financially lopsided in many ways because the man in the White House has been spoiled by wealth his entire life. He does not know how to be an every day ordinary citizen nor do his children. He lives in a gilded palace ranting about his own importance, playing golf every weekend while the rest of us are wondering if we and our families will ultimately be alright. We watch our incomes being stretched with every single purchase. We make adjustment after adjustment to stay afloat as the prices of everything we use grow higher and higher. For the poor the sacrifices are even more drastic and yet our president only has sympathy for himself. He cannot even understand what it is like to be stranded on a ship that has been at sea for over two hundred days. He is unable to relate to anyone who is not wealthy.

Our economy is not on fire. It is teetering at the brink and our leader is incapable of understanding how so many Americans are suffering. I am lucky enough to be in the middle. I was able to purchase a hybrid car that allows me to drive around for only about twenty four dollars a month. I am covered for now by Medicare and I get a pension from my years of teaching. I am still healthy enough to do most of the work that needs to be done in my home. I know that I will survive just as I always have but I worry about the younger Americans who are struggling at every turn. I know that we all have to join together to send people to Washington DC and to our statehouses who will begin to concentrate on the people, not on enriching themselves. We all have to vote in numbers that send a clear message of our displeasure. If we simply rubber stamp the wishes of Trump and the Republicans who bow to his every whim our entire society will be in grave danger. Our president does not care about us and that is the brutal truth!

I have often found that the college classes that I thought would be a waste of time often became some of my favorite moments in education. One of those courses was all about team building and the rumors that I had heard about the professor and his syllabus worried me enough that I put off taking it until I had almost completed all of the requirements of my masters degree. 

The first day of class we watched clips of Dances With Wolves involving the customs of Native Americans as portrayed in the film. I had to admit that the presentation prompted me to immediately think differently about the movie itself and the idea that the nuances of teamwork are essential to the success of virtually every culture. I appreciated the way that the professor allured us into listening to his take on the value of knowing how to work with others and so I felt a bit more comfortable with the whole concept in spite of being a dedicated introvert who had mostly worked as a lone wolf throughout my career. 

By the second class we were allowed to self select a group that would undergo the process of becoming a real team throughout the rest of the semester. I had been in classes with two women who had impressed me and I gravitated to them immediately. I was excited when the three of us forged a solid promise to work together by sharing the load of any assignments that we might have to complete. Another woman who had not yet found a group was soon a member of our happy and hopeful union and we had high hopes of succeeding.

It did not occur to us at the time that we were mostly of the same ilk, three middle aged women with type A personalities and work ethic. Our fourth member was young and seemingly naive so we silently felt that we would be mostly carrying her along. We were not concerned at all about the lack of diversity that defined our group but that aspect would soon be changed by the professor.

By the third class a new male student had arrived late from China. His English was all but nonexistent as he attempted to explain who he was and why he had come from so far away to earn an advanced degree. We held our breaths as the professor scanned different groups as though deciding which would be graced with the newcomer. When his eyes locked on our section of the classroom we understood that we would be the guinea pigs who would have to deal with an individual who seemed unable to offer anything of merit to our projects. Suddenly we had become an incredibly diverse group and we were silently unhappy about the prospect. 

We were required to meet regularly beyond the hours of the class. In those meetings we would have certain goals to reach and in the process we would learn about the different stages of team building. We had to provide the professor with a report of how we were progressing. While we initially believed that we would more than likely be in so much agreement with each other that we would be able to carry our young man from China along without any problems, we would soon learn that forming a cohesive partnership between five different people is never that easy.

We got through the norming phase but began to understand that we had three chiefs and two individuals who just sat looking as though they wished that the three of us vying to take over would get our acts together. Once we determined who was best at keeping the team on track we entered the storming phase which quickly boiled over into a series of grievances that included a full blown crying session from the youngest woman who felt that we older ladies were treating her as though she did not have a brain. Her accusations were shocking to hear but because our goal was to work through the stage of disagreement for the sake of the ultimate goal we set our defensive attitudes aside and soon realized that we had indeed been sidelining her without providing her with opportunities to express herself. 

Of course we were still not hearing from the man from China who seemed to just stare at us as though he was miserable. We had to find a way to give him a voice and that became our next challenge. Weeks passed and we heard little from him but along came an assignment from the professor that forced us to take a quiz together. Amazingly the man was able to write down his ideas coherently enough that we were able to see that he was in fact absorbing the gist of the materials that we used in the course. We were able to use his work in the tract that we gave to the professor and he noted how well we all seemed to be using the skills of each person in the group. When we saw our grade we literally felt like a team that had won a trophy and we bonded ever closer. 

Our final assignment was a long paper that would demonstrate how well we had understood the concepts of the class. We began meeting at the home of one of our members that looked out on the waters of the Gulf of Mexico. By then we felt the comfort of friendships that allowed us to be honest with ourselves and each other. We used the movie Hoosiers as the exemplar of incredible team building. We sat together eating popcorn and taking notes about the moments when team building took place in each scene. 

Each and every person had so many wonderful ideas that we had to pick and choose what was most important but we made sure that every point of view was honored. Since I enjoy writing I was charged with putting all of the different entries together and since we had worked as a group our words seemed to fluidly join each other. The young woman that we had intitially misjudged came up with the most important and unique section of the paper. The man from China knew how to make our efforts look professionally polished. We turned in that paper assured that even if it did not impress the professor we would cherish what we had done together forever. 

We were over the moon when we received the only A plus that the professor claimed he had ever before given. He cited the area of the paper that had been conceived by the younger woman as the key to its perfection. He noted the incredibly professional look of the presentation and he understood that only a well defined team working together would have been able to create such a masterpiece. 

I still think of that class and how much it taught me. It was there that I learned the value of diverse voices and talents. I saw that being in an echo chamber produced mediocrity while genuinely tuning in to many different points of view was powerful. I took that lesson with me to the remainder of my career. I had learned the importance of building a diverse team with individuals bringing their best skills to the table. Diversity and real teamwork are the foundations of the kind of creative thinking that solves big problems. Real teams that respect each player’s value are incredibly powerful winners. Those run by a tyrant who only allows one voice destroy any chance of doing great things. We would all do well to accept this powerful truth. 

Last summer I accompanied my husband to radiation therapy for his prostate cancer. For five days each week we drove to a facility were his treatment took place. We got to know many of the other people who were engaged in the same process and when he finally finished the cycle and rang the bell we were ecstatic. Of course we could only hope that his cancer was gone and would not return. His journey will continue as his doctor watches for signs of the cancer has growing again. 

When I heard that former President Joe Biden also had prostate cancer I felt a sadness in knowing the tough times that lay ahead for him and his family. Sadly his cancer was more advanced than my husband’s so I worried about what he would have to endure and whether or not the treatments would work. I knew the emotional and physical journey that lay ahead and I prayed that all would go as well for him as it seemed to be for my husband. 

One year later I hear that Joe Biden’s cancer has traveled to his bones and that he is enduring great pain. As someone who only recently had a total knee replacement I know how brutal the levels of pain can be when our bones are involved in the healing process. I also realize just how frightening the experience must be for Joe and his family. Nobody wants to see a loved one suffering and nobody wants to feel such uncertainty with regard to attempts to defeat a growing cancer. 

By his own admission Joe Biden was an imperfect president just as each of our American leaders have been. We would be hard pressed to find any of them who never made a mistake but the vast majority of them have seemed to try to be their best. President Biden was especially determined to do right by the American people even as he was tasked with pulling the nation together in a very difficult time. All the while he demonstrated great sympathy for every one of us who experienced hardships. He somehow understood how challenging life can be for all humans and often expressed his hopes that he would be able to fulfill the needs of our nation. 

I always felt that President Biden was a good man who also often had to make incredibly tough decisions. He seemed to have an inner strength that took into account the needs of everyone, not just those who openly supported him. I believe that he did his best in a time when the whole world was grappling with illness, war and death. All the while he had a cancer smoldering inside of him which he likely ignored because he had a job to do for all of us. 

There are some who see President Biden as a weak man because he showed his emotions from time to time and expressed his loving concern for a son who was fighting addictions. He showed us how to love unconditionally and tirelessly. He pushed himself to fight for us even as his body was turning on him. Then he humbly left the race when it became apparent that he was less and less able to bear the unrelenting pressures of the job. It took so much unselfish courage to drop out of the race even as he was being ridiculed and judged as being old and unfit. 

Ironically we ended up with a president who seems only to care about himself. His health is quite obviously failing and he pretends and boasts that he is somehow aging backwards. We see the signs every single day that he is not well in either body or mind while his protectors pretend that he is a vibrant genius. In the meantime he is so vile that he makes fun of Joe Biden’s present situation without even a shred of human decency. 

I read an essay recently from a young woman who writes political editorials on many social media sites. She told the story of growing up with an incredible father who raised her and her siblings after her mother ran away from her maternal responsibilities. She showered her father with praise and then revealed that she had lost him all too soon. In President Biden she saw the same kind of honor and kindness that had been the hallmarks of her father. She greatly admired the work that President Biden attempted to do and her writing led to a meeting with him in the Oval Office. She recounted how awed she was being in his presence and imagined how proud her father would have been. Somehow she was so overwhelmed by that meeting that she spoke to President Biden about her father and how he had inspired her. Then she told the president that she saw him as the kind of father figure that our nation needed in difficult times. As tears filled her eyes and her sobs became audible President Biden comforted her seeming to understand the enormity of her feelings. This moment showed her the compassion that President Biden earnestly gave to the people that he encountered. 

I hope and pray that President Biden’s pain will leave him and that by some miracle he will get well. He has been a light of genuine goodness among us and he deserves to hear praise for his lifetime of efforts. We can now see all too clearly the difference between a good man and one who is only intent on enriching himself with power and money and trophies. Sometimes we humans don’t seem to notice how the wonder of what we have it until the person creating it is gone. May God be with President Joe Biden and may he know how much we will always appreciate what he did for us. He was the good man we needed in a very tough time.

My mother used to call me on her phone at least once a day. I have to admit that there were times when I was quite busy and so tired that I felt irritated about having to pause to hear whatever was on her mind. It’s funny how we humans often don’t value what is the best of our lives until it is gone. So it was with my mom’s daily attempts to check in with me. 

I seem to miss her more and more as time goes by. My brothers tell me that I am now the matriarch of the family and somehow that title does not seem to fit. I have tried to fill the very big shoes that were my mother’s and find myself coming up short again and again. I don’t know how she juggled so much in a single day but somehow she managed to keep in touch with me and my brothers and all of her siblings while still tending to her necessary routines. 

Another annoying habit that Mama had was just showing up on my driveway where she would honk her horn to announce her arrival. I have to admit that it embarrassed me again and again but each time she came seemed to soothe my worries and get me back to normal. Somehow she sensed when I needed her and just came rather than bothering to ask if it would be okay. 

I remember thinking that my neighbors must have wondered why she made her arrival so public but I later learned that they delighted in hearing the sound of her horn. They told me that sometimes they went outside just to be able to chat with her a bit before she entered my home. They ended up missing her impromptu visits as much as I ultimately did.

My mother had a way of reading the tea leaves that told her how my brothers and I were doing. She seemed to understand us better than we understood ourselves. She had a gift when it came to people and I often thought that she would have been an excellent nurse. She was always so calm and understanding when visiting folks in the hospital or a nursing home. Everyone loved her and brightened up in her presence. 

My mother never went to someone’s home without a small gift of some kind. Many of the things that she brought seemed a bit strange at first but every item became magically useful after she left. I still keep rolls of stamps in a small container that she presented one day. We sleep with the sound of the fan that was another of her gifts. Many times she bought extra sale items at the grocery store to share with me and my brothers even after we were all working and doing well financially. 

My mother thrived on having visitors in her home. She always had something in the freezer that she might prepare even when we came by without announcing our arrival. She’d make hamburgers or whip together an omelet. Her coffee pot was ready when anyone knocked on her door. They might be there for the purpose of checking on her once she became elderly but once they were inside her home she became the ultimate hostess ready to listen to all of their cares and woes. 

My mother died in 2011 and I was relieved at the time to know that she did not suffer long with the lung cancer that took her away. At first I felt that the burden of caring for her had been lifted from me and my brothers but over time I saw what we were really missing in her absence. I realized that even when she was sick she managed to care for us in ways so subtle that we hardly noticed them at the time. 

I suppose I would not want her to have to grieve over the losses of so many people who have followed her into the afterlife. I would not want her to have to worry about my brothers who have Parkinson’s disease. I have little doubt that she would have found the times of Covid quite difficult and her big heart would have cried out for all the souls suffering around the world. It really is a good thing that she is resting in peace but I sometimes selfishly wish that I might sit with her once again. 

I take my role as matriarch seriously even as I know that I have yet to be as wonderful as my mother always was in that role. I often feel overwhelmed and in need of the guidance and wisdom that she always gave me, I hope that she knows how much we all cherished her generosity and never ending love. Because she was so intuitive I suspect that she always understood that we cared quite deeply even as we busied ourselves in the world a bit too much. 

Growing older is not for sissies. We encounter more sorrow and pain but know that we still have emotional work to do with our family and friends and even people that we do not know. It’s good to have an idea of how to act even if we see ourselves as lacking in the incredible skills of someone like my mother. I try to be my best just like I believe she would want me to be  even as I am not as gifted as she was. My mother’s love ran so deeply and we are all the better for being the recipients of her joy. 

Another new school year is here and I find myself continuing to teach. I retired from working in a school in 2011 but have not yet given up working with young people. I do my best to demystify mathematics for them whether homeschooling them or tutoring them in the evenings. I have limited the number of students that I am willing to work with this year because it seems that so many other issues are demanding my attention right now. Nonetheless I can’t seem to feel right if I am not using my skills even if only for a tiny bit of time each week. 

The start of the school year seems to come earlier and earlier each year but it is offset by more holidays and break times so I suppose that makes it okay. I still remember my own school days as though they happened only a day ago. I recall the first days of returning to the classroom hoping that some of my friends would be in the same class with me. I remember how nervous I was to find out who would be my teacher or teachers. I loved getting new shoes and a new lunchbox and of course new socks and underwear. Since I attended a Catholic school I did not have to worry about clothing because we all wore uniforms that were dull but did their duty. 

I liked learning and getting together with friends who did not live nearby me but I still felt a tug on the freedom and joy that I felt in the summertime. I was a free range kind along with my other friends and we tended to play together from early in the morning until bedtime at night. Back then there were lighting bugs that came out after dark. I haven’t seen such creatures in many years now. I wonder what happened to them and suspect that  they may have gone somewhere that is less inhabited than the big metropolitan area in which I live. 

I remember running around in my bare feet that picked up all the dirt and grime that I passed through in our games. My mother insisted that I wear shoes whenever I rode my bike because I might catch my feet in the spokes or on the chain and suffer a terrible wound. I believed her even though it did not make much sense to me. Otherwise I went shoeless for three months out of every year. 

We played so hard that we would sweat but somehow it never bothered me back then. I’d end every playtime with an accumulation of perspiration and dirt that made little beads on my neck that we called “Grandma’s beads.” We had lots of funny sayings like that and I always wondered who had first invented them and how they overtook the culture. 

I read now that it can be dangerous to drink water out of a garden hose but we kids did that regularly back in the day. My mother attempted to mitigate that propensity by filling a large thermos with cold water each morning that she set on a little table in front of the garage along with some cups for anyone to use. I was proud of her for being so nice to everyone. it seemed like a very grand gesture indeed but when we were down the street we generally went back to using the closest hose to parch our thirst. 

I can totally relate to the concept of being a baby boomer because there were kids everywhere in my neighborhood. I had two brothers but many of my friends came from families of six or more children. They had bunk beds lined up like barracks to give everyone a place to sleep in the evening. I was lucky to have my own room because I was the only girl. My brothers had to share a space which they did not seem to mind. Sometimes I was a bit jealous that I did not have a sister with whom to share my deepest dreams but there were plenty of girls who filled that need for me. 

When it came time for my brother’s birthday on August 17, I always became a bit glum because it meant that we were inching ever closer to the start of school. We never went back before Labor Day so we still had more time but those couple of weeks seemed to pass all too quickly before we were back to the grind of rising early, learning all day and doing homework at night. Ironically I had an easier time waking up in the summer than once the school bells began to ring. 

I often think of the teachers that I had and the many friends who went to school with me and feel as young as I ever was until I get a passing glance of myself in the mirror and see an old lady looking at me. It is incredible how quickly all those years went by. Now all but one of my grandchildren has graduated from college and is working and I’m still prepping for beginning a new school year next week. The circle of life just keeps whirring around and around.