As I write this I am planning to attend a Quinceanera for a young girl that I homeschooled in math for a time. It will be a fitting party for someone who is quite sweet and bright and earnest about life. I have watched her grow from a cute child into a lovely young woman and it will be fun to celebrate this special moment with her and her family and friends.

I suppose that in my world sixteen was the magical moment when I began to actually believe that I was transitioning from childhood. My mother presented gifts to me that signaled her approval that I was growing into the life of a young lady. I opened a box to find a beautiful dark blue wool pencil skirt along with a soft pale blue sweater. When I put the new outfit on I truly felt that I had somehow advanced in the world. While I usually wore a uniform to school my birthday happened to fall of a day when we were allowed to wear other clothes. I can’t even begin to describe how excited I was to show up in my new duds.

I was still going everywhere with a face that had never seen makeup. When the next package from Mama revealed a compact of power, a wand of mascara and a tube of lipstick I knew that my mother had finally understood that I was no longer a child. It was a message from her that made me ecstatic. Sadly we were not allowed to wear makeup to school so I had to leave those things home for use on the weekend. It was okay because my fresh face beamed with the joy of the moment.

I think I walked into the school standing a bit taller than I ever had done before. I had grown to a tall five foot six inches during the summer before. My new height required my mother to let out the hems in my skirts and slacks. I was quite thin at the time and literally able to wear anything right off of a rack. My new duds looked just right on me, color and all.

The first person I encountered was a boy who was in all of the classes with me. I suppose that I had an eternal crush on him even though he had a steady girlfriend. When he caught sight of me he smiled and said that I looked exceptionally good on that day. I know I must have flushed at his compliment but it only made me feel better and better about my appearance, an aspect which had always somewhat bothered me. I often felt that I looked like a child while all of my female classmates were blooming into lovely ladies. On that magical day I felt that I had somehow miraculously changed and the comment from my classmate nailed it.

Of course I still had so much to learn and so much change ahead of me. Looking back I realize that becoming a woman is a process that continues for years. It was not until I was twenty five that I genuinely felt good about myself. By then I was not so critical of my flaws. I understood that everyone has them and I felt that I had found my purpose in life by finally admitting that I wanted to be a teacher rather than vying for wealth in some other occupation. It felt good to be self assured in following my heart. Things only got better for me from that day forward.

The truth of the matter is that if we do things right we never stop growing and changing. Being static is like a tree that reaches a certain height and never changes again. Life is about surviving and showing a willingness to quit looking into the mirror to see the superficialities of who we are. Instead it is a journey of deep introspection that allows us to truly see the others around us. It is an ability to know and understand them. When that transition occurs I believe that we become our better selves.

I do often think of my classmate who so gallantly complimented me. He understood even back then how important it is to make the people around us feel that we see them. A single smile and nice comment can feel life changing just as it did for me. We would all do well to do more of that, especially when we are not particularly familiar with people from other cultures or who have different ideas about how to live. There really is no one way that should become the template. Variety is what makes life enchanting. Telling people how wonderful they are in your eyes becomes a way to build relationships and just make the world a better place to be.

I’ll be returning to politics soon. I have much to say about the recent election. For now I am just revealing in the good feelings that I have. Somehow I felt a major shift much like that day of long ago when I turned sixteen. The validation from my mother and my classmate was so grand. Now I am feeling the validation of my views about my country and what I believe we all want our nation to be. It was wonderful to see us just seeing each other and loving each other just as we are.